“You don’t think gash have brains,” I repeated. “So you can’t know we have them and we also have hearts. And if you don’t know any of that, you also don’t know we hold a mean grudge.”
“I know this,” he said in a way that made my skin tighten all over my body. “I ordered the dispatch of two of my soldiers. I did it with a witness. I did it knowing Chaos has gone pussy, taking their twat asses to the cops. So I know you’ll share with Mitch Lawson and Brock Lucas. And I don’t fucking care.”
That was crazy.
My voice was rising high when I asked, “You believe you’re untouchable?”
“I believe I get Chaos out of the way, I’ll be running Denver. And if I have to put down Chaos, along with Lawson, Lucas, and Delgado to do it, then that’ll get done.”
Delgado?
Hawk Delgado?
Elvira’s boss?
What did he have to do with all this?
I didn’t ask that.
I remarked, “So you’re gonna leave me alive.”
He tipped his head to the side and asked, “What did you see?”
He knew what I saw since it happened five minutes ago and I didn’t think it was smart to remind him that I saw it but I had a feeling he had an agenda and that agenda was not further harming me, so I said, “You told your man to shoot them and he did.”
“I wasn’t anywhere near here and that man doesn’t exist.”
Both were wrong but I had a feeling he could make it so they were right.
He kept speaking.
“In fact, later today, there will be a man who will come forward, confessing to these killings. He’ll have the gun used. And he’ll share all about how he did this in retribution for what was done to you.”
I stared at him some more.
I’d heard about things like that. Saw it on TV. A bad guy paying someone to take the fall, maybe promising to take care of his family, doing it huge to make it worth the sacrifice.
“Anyway, Millie,” he carried on. “A win isn’t really a win unless there are losers left standing.”
“So you’re gonna leave me alive,” I repeated.
“Yes,” he confirmed.
Okay, I was more than a little done.
“Could you do that about now?” I requested.
He grinned before he creeped me way the fuck out by saying, “You know, I think I actually like you.”
“I’m totally showering for three hours when I get home,” I muttered.
He burst out laughing.
I didn’t move a muscle.
He stopped laughing, lifted his gun, and I remained immobile, my eyes locked to his weapon as he wagged it at me.
“Yes, I like you. I get Judd. Those two uppity bitches who’re leading Allen and Kincaid around by their cocks, I don’t get. But you might be fun.”
I didn’t say anything because I couldn’t think of what to say.
Though I thought perhaps I should keep him talking. I figured the more he played with me, the longer he was hanging around, I knew Logan, Chaos, and more than likely Chaos’s cop buddies were tearing Denver apart looking for me, so they might find us. If he wanted to be standing around having a conversation when they did, it wasn’t me who was going to stop him.
Though I wished I hadn’t dropped the ice. My eye was hurting like a bitch.
“No comeback?” he prompted.
“My eye kinda hurts and this conversation is definitely getting boring,” I replied.
“Then I’ll leave you,” he said.
I tried not to look excited as I contradictorily tried to think of ways to get him to stay and do that without moving him to murder me.
“Would it be foolish to ask that you wait ten minutes after I leave before you make your call?” he requested.
“Yes,” I declined his request.
That amused him too.
God, I fucking hated this guy.
“When this is over, if you want to fuck a winner, I’ll be sure a line’s opened to you,” he offered.
Okay, now I was going to have to shower for four hours.
I didn’t reply.
He grinned his disturbing grin. “Until then, Millie.”
I stayed silent.
He moved, walking to the door like he was just walking to the door. Not like he was walking through two corpses with half their heads blown off.
I swallowed bile and looked away from the bodies. I didn’t like Pedro and Carlos much but I preferred to see them shackled and breathing, not this way.
The door closed.
I didn’t run to it to lock it. I wasn’t going anywhere near there.
Instead I jumped to the bed, crawled on hands and knees to the phone on the opposite side, and reached for it. I took it with me as I turned my back to the carnage, curling into myself.
I didn’t have Logan’s number memorized because I had it in my phone and I could just press the screen to get him.
I was memorizing it later that day for sure.
I called 911.
I reported my emergency.
I made it through giving the operator my name, the motel, the room number, my location, and the fact I’d just witnessed a double homicide before I dropped my forehead to my knees and dissolved into tears.
In other words, I held it together through the important stuff and fell apart only when no one was watching (even though the 911 operator was listening).
Like any good old lady should.
* * *
I was standing outside the motel room on a walkway exposed to the elements, surrounded by uniformed police officers, squad cars glutting the parking lot below, folks everywhere. Out of their rooms and standing outside the police barrier that an officer was now rolling out to span the parking lot.
When the first unit had arrived, they’d thankfully not wasted any time and even more thankfully the brawnier one picked me up and carried me out of the room so I didn’t get anything on my bare feet that would never mentally wash off.
An added plus to this was I got to shove my face in his neck so I didn’t see anything more than I’d already seen even if what I’d seen was burned into my brain.
I didn’t need more.
I’d barely been out there five minutes, only long enough for them to get a blanket to wrap around my shoulders and pull a chair from another room so I could sit on it, I was trembling so badly. I’d just begun to share what happened when I heard the roar.
My head jerked so I could look over my shoulder and I saw them roll in in formation.
And I was not surprised to see that Tack wasn’t leading the crew.
Logan was.
Like he had Millie Radar, he rode in, eyes up and on me.
“Mizz Cross, I know you’re Chaos but I need you to stick with me,” the officer said quickly.
I didn’t stick with him.
I jumped out of my seat and ran, sprinting down the walkway, the blanket falling from my shoulders, my eyes glued to Logan who had parked his bike outside the police tape and he was dismounting.
I was going so fast down the walkway I had to throw out a hand to grab the post holding up the landing by the stairwell. My body went flying to the side, but I held on tight, forcing its momentum toward the steps.
Then I dashed down them watching Logan race my way.
We collided two steps from the bottom and I didn’t know how Logan didn’t fall to his ass when that collision included me throwing myself bodily at him, wrapping my arms around his shoulders, my legs around his waist and shoving my face in his neck.
I drew in deep breaths, audibly sucking in air to hold it together as his strength became real all around me, he held me tight, and I tried to keep my shit together.
But I couldn’t stop the shaking.
“The girls?” I forced out.
His arms held tighter.
“Big Petey got a call. They know you’re good,” he replied, his voice, low and harsh, scratching into my skin.
I nodded, m
y body bucking painfully as I fought back a sob.
“You’re good, Millie. You’re here. I got you. You’re good, baby,” he whispered, gliding a hand up to tangle in my hair.
“I’m good,” I whispered back. It was shaky and uncertain but I said it anyway.
“Hold on,” he ordered.
That I could do.
So I did it and Logan held me back.
That gave me the strength to pull it totally together, and after I absorbed enough of it, I lifted my head to look at him.
His gaze immediately went to the swelling around my eye and a scariness that was exponentially scarier than that day he’d charged into my office and then dragged me around my house to show me the alarm system he’d set up snapped into place over his features.
“I’m okay,” I assured him hurriedly.
He stopped looking at my eye to look into both of them.
“Yeah,” he muttered. It was not shaky but it was skeptical.
I dropped my forehead to his, holding his gaze.
“Chaos has a problem,” I shared quietly.
“Think we know that, babe,” he replied just as quietly.
“No, Snooks,” I went on. “He’s planning something. Something he thinks means a guaranteed win. I don’t know what today meant. I just know he’s convinced he can’t lose.”
Carefully, still holding me close, Logan jiggled me so I knew to drop my legs. He put me on the step in front of him so we were still eye to eye but he didn’t let go.
“He’ll be convinced otherwise,” he announced.
I moved my hand to curl it on the side of his neck, rolling up on my toes to get closer to him.
“You need to be ready for anything,” I warned. “You need to be ready and you need to be smart. He has something, Low, an ace up his sleeve. He’s determined to use it to bring Chaos down and I don’t think he means to harm anyone physically. I think he means to force you to do stupid shit that would end the Club.” I pressed even closer. “And I can see it in your eyes, baby. You’re fired up to do stupid shit and if he brings you down, he takes you away from me. From Cleo. From Zadie. And, Snooks, you gotta be smart because you cannot let that happen.”
He studied me without replying and in the middle of this, we heard, “Sorry, High, but gotta get her statement,” and Logan’s eyes went beyond me.
I looked over my shoulder at the officer who had begun to question me and looked back to Logan when I felt his hold on me loosen. He nodded to the officer as he took a different hold on me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and moving me around so he could guide me up the steps with him.
We followed the officer, and with Logan guiding, I could look behind me.
Chaos was standing there.
All of them.
I shot a weak smile in their general direction.
I got no smiles back.
Not even a lip curl.
They’d been nudged.
A different kind of fear started slithering through my insides as I looked away to make the turn on the first landing.
One could say I’d not had a very good day. If the kind of day I had happened to someone I cared about, I’d be pissed in the extreme. I might even consider doing something crazy.
And I wasn’t a biker.
That meant it was up to me to stop them from doing anything stupid.
The brothers did what the brothers had to do and any good old lady let that happen.
Except in circumstances like these.
This meant I had to rally the troops. I had to do what I could with my Chaos sisters to be certain the brothers stayed strong.
I had to.
And I was going to.
Like any old lady should.
* * *
There were a variety of cars wedged in my courtyard when Logan took me back home after I’d done what I’d needed to do with the cops.
Mitch Lawson and Brock Lucas had showed. I’d also gotten to meet Elvira’s boss, Hawk Delgado.
It was lucky I met him then, after seeing Zadie with Valenzuela’s men, getting punched in the face, being kidnapped, and then witnessing a double homicide. If I hadn’t, with the Chaos boys, Lawson and Lucas, the addition of Delgado would have been hot guy overload and I might have spontaneously combusted.
As it was, I just gave him a handshake, said hey, memorized his dimples when he gave me a small smile so I could take that memory out later and savor it, and Logan carried me (I had bare feet, but I probably could have negotiated the parking lot, though he didn’t let me) to a truck delivered by Roscoe (who was riding Logan’s bike back to my house).
“Don’t get out,” Logan ordered before he even stopped in my courtyard. “I’m carryin’ you in.”
I didn’t get out. He wanted to go over the top taking care of me, I’d let him.
Instead, as he parked wedged in with the other cars, cut the ignition, and angled out, I planned the rest of my day.
Make sure the girls were okay. Call my sister, Kellie, Justine, Ronnie, and get their asses to my house so I had my personal sisterhood close to prop me up so I could continue holding it together. Take a shower that might last a decade. Get out, call Tyra, and get her to set up an emergency Chaos sisterhood meeting.
Then spend the rest of the day attempting not to have a nervous breakdown.
Logan came to my side of the car, opened my door, and lifted me out. With me in his arms, he shut the door and stalked to my back door.
He was still pissed. Then again, he’d stood close throughout the whole story I’d told to the police so he wasn’t actually still pissed. He was more pissed.
Not good.
We were several feet away when the door was opened by Big Petey.
He gave Logan a look I tried to ignore, then turned a relieved smile to me as he vacated the door so Logan could carry me in.
He also shut the door behind us as Logan walked me to the edge of the bar and dropped my legs to put my feet on the ground.
Through this, I saw I didn’t have to call Tyra because she was already there. So were Lanie, Tabby, and Carissa.
It was a minor relief to tick that off my to-do list but I didn’t really get to feel that feeling.
This was because I was suddenly hit by a small force that, although small, sent me slamming into Logan.
I looked down and saw Zadie with her arms around me.
Okay, maybe my shower wouldn’t last a decade.
Maybe I wouldn’t take one at all.
And I definitely wasn’t going to have a nervous breakdown.
I already knew a kid’s hug had healing powers beyond the beyond.
But getting that from Zadie was beyond anything.
I put my hand to her hair as her hold spread warmth through me.
“I’m okay, sweetie,” I whispered.
She jerked her head back, giving me a red face, wet eyes, and an agonized expression.
“They said they were Daddy’s friends!” she cried. “They said they had something special for him!”
I struggled against her hold to crouch down in front of her. When I got into position, I took her in my own hold, not loose, not scary tight.
Just safe.
“We all, every one of us, make mistakes,” I said gently. “We trust people we shouldn’t. And it makes us feel dumb.” As she took a hiccoughing breath, I smoothed her hair away from the side of her face. “That’s not right,” I went on. “Someone does something wrong, it’s their bad. Not yours.” I moved my face closer to hers. “That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be smart. But you also gotta stop beating yourself up. You didn’t do wrong. They did.”
Her damp eyes went to the swelling on my face. “They hit you.”
“They did,” I reminded her. “Got my arms around you, Zadie. Am I here? Am I home with you and your sister and your dad? Am I okay?”
She drew in another hiccoughing breath but didn’t answer.
“I am, sweetie,” I answered myself (though it was a kind of lie,
I wasn’t exactly okay, but I wasn’t going to share that).
“I was mean to you,” she whispered.
“Sometimes, learning how to do right isn’t the easiest lesson,” I told her. “And you were feeling a lot for reasons that were real, darling. There’s nothing wrong with wanting your family together. I get that.” Her lip quivered and her bright eyes got brighter so I cupped her soft cheek in my hand, stroking it with my thumb. “But you saw your daddy happy. You saw your mom was good. You didn’t handle the situation right in the beginning, Zadie, but if you get there in the end, that’s all that matters.” I gave her a small smile and asked, “Are you there?”
She took in another broken breath and nodded.
“Will you be my friend?” I asked.
She nodded again, this time more decisively.
No, definitely no nervous breakdown.
With that, no matter what happened to me that day, I was all good.
Everything was all good.
So I gave her a full grin and shared that.
“Then we’re all good.”
I saw Logan’s hand reach beyond me to cup the back of his little girl’s head.
“Love this sweetness, Zadie, but you gotta let your old man take care of his woman,” he said gently.
She looked up to her dad, her chin trembled, then she nodded and let me go.
I started to straighten but didn’t get there because the second Zadie stepped away, Cleo hit me hard, wrapping her arms around me and holding on tight.
“Glad you’re okay, Millie,” she whispered, her voice frail.
To combat that, I curved my arms around her and gave her a tight squeeze to let her know I really was okay.
When I started to release, she pulled away and moved directly to her sister to guide her deeper into the living room.
Pure Cleo, taking it on herself to do anything she could, great or small, to help out her dad.
I gave her a wink and as Logan guided me firmly to the hall, I turned my gaze to the women in my living room. I tried to give them a look that said we have to talk.
I wasn’t sure if they got my message before I had to look away to go down the hall.
We were in the bedroom when I asked, “How are you gonna explain all this to Deb?”
Logan kicked the door shut with his boot, kept moving me into the room but did it giving me his eyes.
Walk Through Fire Page 51