Tanner dropped down to sit on the edge of the coffee table. Those dark eyes pierced her, and she instantly recalled exactly the moment he’d pressed her against the door, gripping both her wrists in one hand. That entire night had been thrilling, no fear whatsoever.
And that’s how she knew she had turned over a new chapter in her life. The fear of her past would remain exactly where it belonged.
Ironically, she had a new fear now. The fear of the unknown.
Melanie turned her face away and pulled in a deep breath. Just a year ago she never would’ve let a man handle her in such a rough yet arousing manner. But, thanks to her friends, her successful blog, and her popular social media accounts, Melanie had become more resilient than she’d ever thought possible. She was damn proud of how far she’d come.
“So you’re giving me the option to see other women?”
His harsh, bold question brought her gaze back up. “I don’t want you to think you’re tied to me or—”
“Or what?” he spat. “Despite what you may have heard, I don’t have a revolving bedroom door and I sure as hell would never turn away from my responsibilities. This baby and you are top priority from this moment on. Period. So don’t put me in a category with some bastard from your past.”
Okay, so she’d stepped on a nerve. Or maybe he had his own past that still haunted him. They were going to have to find some common ground and get a little personal if they planned on raising their baby without tension.
Melanie couldn’t help the chatter she’d overheard about Tanner, nor could she help but compare him to Neville. She’d not been with anyone else in her life. It was impossible not to line up the two experiences in her head.
A guy like Tanner was precisely the type she’d chosen on purpose to help her get back out into the world and feel like she was in control again. New town, new life . . . and all of that.
At the time Tanner had been her safest, yet most dangerous option. Her friends all knew him, knew how great a guy he was. Yet he was only looking for a good time.
Looking back, maybe she shouldn’t have been so brazen. Maybe she shouldn’t have chosen someone her friends knew so well, because now there was no way they could keep that night just between them.
Melanie hadn’t been able to tell her best gal pals what really happened that night they’d gone to Taps, because the last thing she needed or wanted was awkwardness to settle into their little group. She and Tanner had agreed nobody needed to know.
Clearly that was off the table now. In a few short months, her disappearing waistline would give away all her secrets.
“I plan on being with you through this entire pregnancy.”
Melanie jerked back. “Excuse me?”
Those dark eyes narrowed. She realized now he didn’t mean to be so ridiculously sexy with that stare, it was just naturally Tanner. Yet it was that intense gaze that had followed her down the dark, narrow hallway of the bar. It was that same heavy-lidded glare that had caused those butterflies in her belly each time he’d flashed it in the days, the weeks leading up to their intimate night.
“I wanted to see you again before I found out about the baby,” he stated simply. “But now that I know you’re pregnant with my child, I plan on being part of your life.”
Fear grabbed hold from the inside, threatening to strangle her and rob her of the very foundation she’d worked for two years to secure. She wasn’t about to have another man trying to control her. Yes, this baby was Tanner’s, too, but she refused to relinquish the strong hold she’d finally gotten on her life.
Melanie rushed to her feet and stepped aside to get out of that narrow space between the sofa and the coffee table.
“No. No.” She shook her head and walked to the window where Tanner had just been. “I’m not dating, I’m not . . . anything with you. We did one night, that’s all.”
The idea of getting involved with a man, of entering into a relationship or anything else that would threaten her much-needed independence terrified her even more than the idea of being a mother. Jumping into something serious with the first man since Neville would only be a rebound. No way could she trust her heart with a man she was simply physically attracted to. There had to be more to build on . . . and not just a pregnancy.
Being married with a family had always been a goal of hers. She’d not dated much before Neville. She’d always been too insecure about her weight, about getting close to a guy. She’d not lived in the best area of town or had the best education, so she was backward and shy. But Melanie’s father had worked for Neville’s father at their estate, doing yard work. Neville had caught sight of her one day when she stopped by with lunch for her dad. Neville had persisted until she’d finally given in to a date. He’d been charming, caring, almost too good to be true. She should’ve recognized that red flag.
Needless to say, Melanie’s family wasn’t too keen that she’d divorced a man who was so powerful and heading for bigger things. They’d wanted better for their little girl. They’d wanted her to make something of herself and move on from the depressing area they lived in.
Melanie never cared about the money or power. She cared about her sanity, her health, and getting out before something truly tragic happened.
“I’m not negotiating on this,” he demanded.
Melanie gritted her teeth as she tossed a glance over her shoulder. “And I won’t be controlled.”
If anything, those eyes of his got darker. “I never said anything about controlling you, Mel. And stop acting like I’m your ex. That’s not fair to either one of us.”
She shook her head. “I can’t get into this with you. I need some time to process it all.”
“And you think pushing me away will help?” he asked.
Melanie turned her attention back to the window when he stood. She didn’t want to keep staring at his broad shoulders, his lean hips, or those long legs as they ate up the distance between them. No matter how attractive he was, now was not the time to play the dating game. She couldn’t focus on this pregnancy and worry about a relationship.
Staring out the front window toward the picturesque street, Melanie swallowed. “I don’t know,” she murmured.
Everything over these past few months had been so out of character for her. Perhaps she was sleep deprived from helping Livie work on the legalities of the airport and discussing the redesign and all the possibilities. Her blog and social media had skyrocketed even more since coming to Haven because Melanie had changed so much and poured every bit of her emotions out, to inspire others.
Who was she kidding? None of that was really out of character. She shouldn’t have given in to her desire and slept with Tanner. Period. That’s what had been so far gone from her usual comfort zone. She’d stepped out of that zone and obliterated the line.
But that voice in the back of her mind, the one that still lived there even though she’d divorced Neville, that told her nobody would ever want her . . . maybe she’d just wanted to be selfish for a bit. Now that someone like Tanner showed interest, and she was interested back, she could be in control.
She’d wanted to prove to herself that she was desirable, that she could attract a man who wanted her as much as she wanted him. Melanie had just wanted to shut up that voice of doubt even if only for one night.
“I have no idea what to do from here.” Melanie smiled when a little girl ran down the sidewalk with a wand of bubbles trailing behind her. “Whatever you and I decide, this baby has to come first.”
“I agree.”
At least that was something. She couldn’t even fathom dating him right now. Or dating anyone, for that matter. Even if she weren’t pregnant, Melanie didn’t think jumping back into the dating pool was the smartest idea at this point in her life.
Then again, Tanner hadn’t mentioned dating. He’d said he’d be in her life . . . so what did that mean? Because all she’d heard was him saying he’d insert himself into her world and take over. Was that just the past betrayin
g her now? Was that her mind lying to her?
She had no clue, but she did know all of this had to go day by day. They were both shaken up, clearly dealing with the struggle in their own way.
Melanie looked back over her shoulder. “Are you close with your parents?”
“My mother just remarried a few years ago. My dad was a real bastard, but my stepdad treats her like a queen. They met at some charity event and to listen to them, it was love at first sight.”
Tanner stood only a few feet away, his eyes assessing her as if he was weighing his next move or how much he wanted to share from his past.
“They travel quite a bit. My stepdad has a few vacation homes, but they’ll be home for the holidays. My mom will be excited. She wanted me settled down and producing children years ago.”
Oddly enough, Melanie had wanted that very same dream for herself. Yet here she was, not married or even in love, which was fine considering what marriage had presented to her.
One day, she vowed. She’d find the man who made her jittery in all the right ways, who made her want to give up her single status and return to joint everything. But that man would have to be a hell of a special guy.
“I’m not settling down again until I find a someone I want to be with forever,” she told him as she searched out the window for the playful little girl. “One failed marriage was enough and now with a child in the mix, I can’t afford to trust my heart so easily.”
“I’m not proposing,” he amended. “But you do deserve someone who’s not a dick.”
Melanie couldn’t help but laugh as she turned back to face him. “You don’t even know him.”
Tanner shrugged as he took a step closer. “I’ve heard enough and I see the look on your face when he’s mentioned. Which is exactly why you need to quit comparing me to him. I have my reasons for wanting to stay close to you and the baby and none of them have to do with control.”
Tamping down the juxtaposition of emotions, Melanie turned from the window and smoothed her hair back from her face. Neville had no place in this conversation . . . or in her life.
“If you wouldn’t mind keeping this to yourself for now. I want to go to the doctor and make sure everything is okay. And if word gets back to Neville . . .”
Fear rippled through her. He would be furious. He was already mortified that his wife left him, but her overwhelming stash of blackmail had left him little choice. At least she’d been strong enough, and smart enough, to keep evidence against him.
“Hey.” Tanner closed the distance between them, concern etched over his face. “This can stay between us as long as you need, but Neville won’t be an issue. I’ll make damn sure of that.”
The intensity in Tanner’s eyes, the hard set of his jaw, and the stern tone of his voice almost had Melanie believing him. But he couldn’t know the type of man her ex was. Nobody did. Neville’s arms reached wider than even Melanie likely knew about. He had corrupt people in his pocket in nearly every town in this state.
Tanner might think he could take on Neville, but Melanie knew nobody could take on that monster if they didn’t have a good amount of ammunition.
Even though Melanie had blackmailed him—that was the only way she’d been able to leave—she still wasn’t going to get too comfortable in her new life. Neville had made it clear he’d get her back. His assistant had also warned Melanie that he meant what he said. Melanie needed to be on guard . . . always.
There was no need to concern Tanner with all of her ugliness or the secrets she kept to herself. They already had enough worries between them.
“I’m hoping to get in to see the new doctor soon,” she told him, needing to circle the topic away from her ex.
“I’ll go with you.”
“No.” Melanie held out her hands, worried he’d step closer. It was difficult enough to think with him across the room, let alone right up on her. “I promise to call you and tell you everything, but if you’re there, it’s just too . . . I don’t know.”
Yes, she did. She knew exactly what it would be like. Like they were a couple and the idea of trusting another man with her heart again scared her more than the pregnancy.
“You don’t want a relationship, I get it. But I’m coming with you. I’m not asking on this.”
He did take a step forward and continued to do so as she stepped back. Finally, she was against the wall with him only inches from her. Nothing about this man scared her. Well, aside from her emotions and gut-clenching, toe-curling attraction. But when her ex would back her into a wall, he’d been in a fit of rage. When she looked at Tanner all she saw was concern . . . and desire.
“I know you’re scared. I have no idea the hell you’ve endured, but I won’t hurt you.” Tanner reached up, sliding one fingertip along the side of her face to remove the stray strand of hair. “That’s hard for you to believe, but this is my child, too. I want the very best for both of you and I intend to be there for every single step.”
Melanie couldn’t focus, not when she could still feel that easy slide of his fingertip, not when that simple gesture reminded her of how tender, yet passionate and reckless, he’d been. Why did she still have to want him? Why this man?
“I need space,” she told him, bringing her hands up to flatten her palms against his taut chest. “I can’t think when you’re this close.”
His eyes dipped to her lips, then back up. “It’s still there.”
Melanie shook her head, not even bothering to ask what he meant. “We have to ignore it.”
“Why should we?”
Oh, no. “We have to,” she whispered, feeling her resolve slipping away.
“Mel.”
She shut her eyes. Maybe if she wasn’t looking at him she wouldn’t have this ache, this need inside her. But she could still smell his woodsy scent, still feel the brush of his body as he shifted closer.
She’d thought staying away from him after that night would help her move on like the strong woman she claimed to be. Unfortunately, that gap in time only made her ache for more.
“I still want you,” he murmured. “Damn if I’ve tried not to, but knowing you’re carrying my child makes me want you even more.”
Panic bubbled up in her. Melanie opened her eyes and darted out from between Tanner and the wall. She made her way across the room and pulled in a deep breath. Flashes from her marriage darted through her mind, but that was all in the past. She had to keep reminding herself each time her thoughts drifted. She was safe now.
“Mel?”
With her back to him, she held up a hand to hold him away. “You can’t say things like that, Tanner. No matter how attracted I am, there’s nothing else for us. I can’t be more than your friend.”
“And the mother of my child.”
Dropping her hand to her side, she nodded. “Yes.”
Silence settled over the room once more before she heard the soft footfalls behind her.
“I don’t know what all you endured, but I’ve seen some ugly shit in my day. You don’t have to recover alone.”
Squaring her shoulders and spinning around, she nodded. “I’m not alone and I’ve recovered. I revert back to that scared woman every now and then, but not as often as I used to. I’ll be fine, and I really just want to focus on this baby.”
He looked as if he wanted to say something else, but ultimately he gave a clipped nod. That pain still flashed through his eyes. Something had hurt him, or someone. Looks like the tough officer had his own past to deal with.
“I’ll respect your wishes,” he told her. “We don’t have to talk about what happened before you came here, we don’t have to let anyone know about the baby just yet, but the doctor’s appointment isn’t an option. I’ll be there.”
She could deal with that. “Thank you.”
“But,” he warned, crossing those thick arms over his broad chest. “I won’t be silent in this pregnancy. You can’t stop me from trying to protect you, either.”
“I don’t need—�
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“Maybe not,” he interjected, his eyes never wavering from hers. “I can’t stand to see that fear in you and for my own reasons, I need to be by your side.”
And here she thought she’d hidden her insecurities so well. She prided herself on being strong, on forcing herself to put one foot in front of the other, no matter the circumstances.
As much as she wanted to let Tanner console her, it would be all too easy to fall back into the old Melanie, who worried if she stood on her own she’d fall. That woman was gone.
“I’ll be fine,” she assured him, confident she truly would be. “We’re both just reeling from this shock and it’s best if I go.”
Weeks ago, she’d given in to those sultry eyes and the unspoken invitation for comfort. It had been so easy to seek solace from him that night. He’d made her forget, he’d made her feel powerful in her own right, and he’d left her longing for more.
“You’re running.”
Melanie threw her hands out. “Yeah, I am. Okay? I’m out of my element, Tanner, and I’m terrified. Of you and this baby. Is that what you wanted to hear?”
He didn’t move, but the way his stare held her in place was just as potent as if he’d reached out and touched her. “I just want you to be honest with yourself. Don’t sugarcoat things for me. You don’t have to be resilient all the time.”
Melanie closed her eyes and pulled in a deep breath. “But I do,” she whispered. “I have to.”
When she opened her eyes, she was rewarded with a soft smile and slight tilt of his head. “You’re so damn remarkable.”
Surprised by his reaction, Melanie stepped back and stared across the room. Compliments from a man were most definitely out of her comfort zone, so she wasn’t really sure how to reply. She spotted her purse still on the floor in front of the couch where she’d dropped it when she came in.
“Will you be at the bonfire this weekend?” she asked as she crossed to retrieve her bag.
Tanner shoved his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels. “Yeah. I’ll be there.”
Be with Me Page 5