by Sue MacKay
‘I hate the bad stuff. I couldn’t be the doctor giving people awful news. It’s hard enough helping them after they’ve learned it, but I like being there to help them through it.’
‘That’s why you make a great nurse. And I doubt it stops there.’
Maybe this was still a date of sorts. It sure was starting to feel like one again. Keep the compliments flowing and for the next hour she’d sideline her determination to enjoy Mac from a distance.
‘Hello, Kelli,’ boomed her father from above her.
‘Dad! You’re joining us for lunch? I thought Mum cancelled.’ Disappointment at not having Mac to herself warred with happiness and trepidation.
‘Your mother wasn’t cancelling my lunch with my girl and her new man.’ Dad turned to Mac with his hand out. ‘I’m Dale Barnett, Kelli’s father as you’ve probably gathered.’
Mac stood and took the outstretched hand to shake. ‘Pleased to meet you. I’m Mac Taylor.’
‘Sit down, sit down.’ Her father pulled out a chair beside her, and directly opposite Mac, no doubt to observe him. ‘You two work together, then?’
‘Yes, we do,’ Mac agreed. ‘The dreaded night shift.’
‘Lots of quiet time to hide away in storerooms together?’
‘Dad,’ Kelli protested. ‘It’s not like that.’
Both men stared at her, one amused and one, Mac...wistful?
‘The emergency department’s always busy,’ she muttered. Nearly always.
‘There are times...’ Mac stopped when she ramped up her glare to I-will-kill-you-if-you-keep-going. He shrugged. ‘Just—you know.’
Playing his role to its full potential? Regret floored her. She wanted to hide away in a tiny room at work with Mac and kiss him till she couldn’t breathe. Wanted, wanted, wanted it. But it wasn’t happening outside her imagination, an imagination that was only operating to keep the hoax up to speed. ‘Mac’s head of ED. He has to be super careful.’
Her dad did a mean eye-roll, one she’d known all her life and it always made her laugh. Today was no exception. ‘You are my father. Not my girlfriend. I’m shutting up about now.’ She gave an exaggerated shudder.
Mac was watching them both with amusement all over his face. He really did relax more when he was away from work. Or could be it was when he was with her? She wasn’t sure which, but was more than happy to see him like this.
Their meals arrived, including her father’s usual carbonara. ‘Wine?’ he asked.
‘Not when I’m working in a couple of hours’ time, thanks, Dad.’
‘Likewise, Dale.’
‘Then I’ll just order a glass for me.’ He nodded at the waiter before turning back to them. ‘How long have you two been going out?’
First question and they hadn’t prepared for it. As Kelli floundered for an answer Mac spoke up. ‘Since Tamara and Conor’s wedding.’
She locked her gaze on him and nodded. Smart. True in a warped way. ‘Guess the romance of the occasion got to us.’
Mac leaned back in his chair, his eyes flaring. Hadn’t thought of that, had he? ‘Yeah,’ he drawled.
Kelli couldn’t take her eyes off him. When flustered, he was adorable. Gone was that haughty I-am-always-in-control thing, replaced with apprehension and possibly excitement. He was getting to her in more ways than she’d have imagined. And didn’t need.
Dad cleared his throat. ‘Hate to interrupt, but your food’s getting cold.’ Meaning he wanted to talk.
Heat swamped her cheeks, and there was a reciprocal colour going on in Mac’s too. ‘Sorry,’ she muttered.
‘Don’t,’ warned Mac softly.
‘Don’t what?’ Oh, sorry. ‘Got it.’ She’d been working at keeping that word off her tongue but embarrassment had got in the way.
‘You okay with the lift-off time arranged for you on Friday?’
Thank you, Dad. Keep it simple and we’ll get through lunch unscathed. ‘No problem.’
She should’ve known better than to think unscathed. This was the man who’d known her from the moment she arrived in the world. ‘You’re booked into one of the front suites overlooking the beach. Secluded for when you want to get away from the crowd.’
Dad. ‘Err, thanks.’
Mac was pressing his lips together, as if he was smothering a smile. ‘We’re very appreciative, Dale. Aren’t we, Kelli?’
Mac. ‘Err, yes.’
Mac pushed back his chair and stood up. ‘Excuse me.’
Kelli watched him head to the men’s room, thinking she wanted to strangle him for leaving her to deal with her father’s amusement. ‘I suppose it’s time to leave. I’ve got heaps to do before I go to work.’
‘I like him,’ Dad said. ‘A lot.’
Trouble was stirring. ‘You hardly know him.’
‘I make instant decisions every day of my working life. I am good at reading people. Your Mac is an excellent man.’ Dad rose and tugged her up onto her feet and into a familiar hug. ‘I’m pleased for you.’
Tears threatened and she had to blink hard to prevent the spill-over. ‘I’m pleased too.’ She meant that. When she shouldn’t.
‘How serious are you?’
‘We’re engaged.’ Agh! Where did that come from? Being with someone she was never on edge around had its downside.
Dad leaned back to stare at her. ‘You are? When were you going to tell us?’
‘After the wedding.’ Liar. ‘Or maybe on Friday at the family dinner. We didn’t want to steal the show from Billy.’
‘This isn’t a bit sudden?’ The hug was over, the mood serious. Not that hugs weren’t serious in her family, but they interfered with straight questions and answers in Dad’s book. ‘You might’ve got together at Tamara’s wedding but since then you’ve spent most of your time in Fiji.’ Nothing but love and concern stared out at her from those faded blue eyes. Eyes that rarely missed a trick. ‘You’re not doing this to spite Jason?’
Absolutely. ‘No. Please start believing me.’
‘How sure of your feelings for Mac are you?’
She got brave. ‘The first time you met Mum how did you feel?’
‘Baffled, bemused, and... I’m not telling my daughter what I was feeling.’
‘Touché.’
‘That’s how you feel about Mac?’
‘I’m not telling my father.’ She wasn’t even admitting it to herself. Not much.
Dad chuckled. ‘Then I’m happy for you. Your mum’s going to be ecstatic.’
‘Don’t rush us. I want to enjoy this one day at a time.’ Her heart slowed. Now she seemed to be believing her own lies. Even a faux engagement to Mac was proving to be intriguing and exciting, and she was beginning to wonder how she’d walk away from it. No walking away from Mac though. He’d be in her life every day, every shift, every visit to the gym—though she could change that. Male and pine scent would be in the air she breathed. Mac induced heat under her skin. No, not that close. Yes, that close. Grr. Now she’d have to fight harder to keep her distance.
‘Love you, baby girl.’ Those comforting arms returned, winding around her shaking body and holding her against that familiar, to-go-to-in-moments-of-pain chest that had been a part of her whole life.
Tears leaked down her face. What a mess. Breathing in, she dug deep for composure. It was all a lie and she’d told it to this man who’d always had her back. ‘It’s okay.’
Then Dad was letting her go and turning around. ‘Mac, I hear congratulations are in order.’ He slapped Mac on the shoulder in that way guys did these things and nodded. ‘I’m thrilled at the news.’
Mac shot her a startled glance, then quickly recovered. ‘Thank you, Dale. I’m only sorry we’ve kept quiet about this, but Kelli was concerned about spoiling her brother’s big day.’
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‘I’m going to tell your mother the moment I get back to the office. Teach her for letting all those little wedding details keep her running around like a headless chook.’ He was grinning like the toddler with ice cream. ‘I’m so going to love this. Payback for when I had to miss Billy and Leanne telling her last week they’re pregnant.’
‘They’re pregnant?’ Wow. ‘That’s wonderful, brilliant. I’m going to be an auntie? When?’
‘Some time in September.’ His chest was expanding with pride. ‘The next generation begins.’
Mac dropped an arm over Kelli’s shoulders. ‘Is this to be kept secret until after the wedding?’
Could divert interest off them.
‘I shouldn’t have mentioned it but the excitement of your news got to me. Keep it between yourselves, will you?’ Her father didn’t look at all contrite.
‘Of course.’ If only she could say the same about their engagement. But a baby? The first in their generation. Awesome. Go, Billy. Then her heart flip-flopped as if it were in thick mud. A baby. Would she ever get the chance to have one, to be a mum?
Her eyes slid sideways, drank in the man talking to Dad while watching her too closely. She’d found a great man for the dad role.
Flip, flop.
Her heart ached through its sluggish moves.
She’d made a colossal mistake involving Mac in the weekend. She just couldn’t do it. She would have to back out, tell her parents it was all wrong and that she’d lied.
Running away from Mac wasn’t going to change what was going on in her head. Forget her head. If she’d relied on that there’d be no problem. No, her heart was to blame for making such a botch-up of a simple plan. It—all right, she was falling for the tall, enigmatic man who’d stood by her all week and seemed more than ready to go as far as it took to make her weekend enjoyable.
Six weeks working in Fiji hadn’t calmed the simmering in her veins. Perhaps she should apply for twelve months on base in Antarctica. Except personnel were usually sent south in late spring, not mid-autumn. She’d have to come up with another plan to save her heart. If she wasn’t already too late.
CHAPTER SIX
KELLI CLICKED THE safety harness into place, silently cursing herself for not finding a way out of the weekend, and gazed out over the harbour. An offshore breeze had the water skipping as it pushed towards the downtown wharves. ‘We do live in a beautiful city,’ she murmured in Mac’s direction.
‘I agree.’ Sitting next to her, he appeared relaxed despite two of her brothers and their wives also on board the flying machine. The family had heard the news, and Andy and Phil had been giving Mac the eye from the moment they showed up at the helipad. Mac had been holding her hand until they’d boarded, no doubt to add authenticity to their relationship.
Validation or not, she’d been more than happy to go along with it since it meant having those long, strong fingers entwined with hers. Meant feeling his palm pressed against hers, heat radiating up her arm and tightening her belly. And bringing pictures of a large bed to mind. Was she sex-starved, or what?
Sitting so close her thigh was touching Mac’s, she fought the urge to grab his hand again. Pretend you hate flying. As if. One big fib was one too many. She wasn’t about to start telling more to anyone, and especially not to Mac. He’d stepped up to the mark for her when he didn’t have to and somehow not being totally honest would undermine her feelings for him. There was an idea. Put the kibosh on her ever-increasing awareness of him.
Then Mac reached over and took her hand in his again, slid those fingers she adored back into place. More authenticity? Or was he by any chance feeling the same need as her? No answer to that—because she wasn’t going to ask. That would be laying too much on the line, and at the moment there was still time to pull back, withdraw entirely, be remote over the weekend. Remote when they were sharing a suite, with a double bed? Remote negated the whole purpose of Mac partnering her.
Remember the rules. That shouldn’t be hard, knowing Mac was still grieving. Except sometimes she felt he forgot that and enjoyed himself.
The helicopter shook as the rotors wound up to speed, and everything vibrated as they left the ground behind and rose into the blue sky. Tiny puffs of white cloud lightened the blue, made it pretty. Kelli loved flying, had even contemplated getting a private licence but put it in the ‘too hard’ basket because of the hours required to train and all the exams that had to be sat.
‘You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?’ Mac had leaned close so as she could hear him.
Breathing deep to take in that smell of pine and something else she couldn’t put her finger on except that it was uniquely Mac, she nodded. ‘It’s a great way to start what’s going to be a fantastic weekend.’ Fingers crossed.
Below and to the right the volcanic Rangitoto Island stood proud against the backdrop of sea. Not extinct but in a slumberous state, the iconic double-coned shape looked inviting. Not frightening. Bit like the approaching weekend. Approaching? It had already started. There was no going back now.
When they walked into their suite, Kelli was sure that there was no way she would ever get her fingers to straighten again. She had to force her hand away from Mac’s as she scoped the classy room. Fantastic was only the beginning. The room’s full-length glass doors opened onto a small deck overlooking the beach and the expansive Waitemata Harbour beyond with the outlying islands and innumerable pleasure craft criss-crossing the sparkling waters.
That was only the view. There was the man who’d walked beside her from the helipad to the resort’s reception and on to their room, laughing at her brothers’ cheeky taunts and not letting a thing frazzle him.
Then there was that super-king-sized bed dominating the centre of the room they’d be sharing for two days—and two nights. ‘Mac, this is all a mistake,’ she whispered.
Not so quiet he didn’t hear. ‘Want me to hitch a ride back when the helicopter returns to the city for more guests?’ A wistful note had entered his voice, softened his mouth. ‘I can if you want me to.’
‘It would’ve been easier if we’d been given a shoebox-sized room with grotty furnishings and a view of the other side of the resort building’s back wall.’
‘No romance factor?’
Kelli’s head dipped in acknowledgement. ‘It all seemed so easy back in the city.’ Spreading her fingers wide, she waved her hand at the scene before them. ‘This is real. This has nothing to do with the story I’ve made up to keep my family off my back.’
Mac caught her shoulders, pulled her closer to him. ‘Stay focused, Kelli. Keep reminding yourself why we’re sharing this amazing suite. And I’ll...’ He faltered. Tipped his head back and swallowed hard. ‘I’ll only do what you ask of me. No more, no less.’
He’d put it back on her. Thanks, Mac. She should be grateful. Only she wasn’t. She wanted what they had never planned on, what hovered between them in memories of one hot night after another wedding in another city. If they spent the coming nights in bed making love would she finally get the fizz out of her blood? At last be able to look at Mac and know she didn’t want him for ever?
No answers blindsided her. Just the heat from those hands on her shoulders to remind her.
You don’t always get what you want in this world.
Or did you?
Get real.
Even when her body was crying out for release, and her head was saying go for it, make the most of the situation, tomorrow was just another day.
But then there was want and there was want. She wanted a night with Mac. Wanted to trust him enough to fall completely in love with him. Wanted a future with him that involved the picket fence and two-point-seven kids, or whatever the national average was these days. She did? Yes, a brood of knee-huggers was on her bucket list—once she’d found the right man to have them with.
Shut up, brain.
‘Kelli? You’re spooking me with that worried look.’
Sorry. Didn’t count if she didn’t say it out loud. ‘I’m fine. Just a few nerves. You haven’t seen me like this before. I like to do everything perfectly. I get that from my mum. For a moment there I felt there was a deep chasm I had to cross before everything would work out for me.’
‘For us.’
‘Us, yes.’ Mac was totally here for her. Amazing, and scary. No other man, certainly not her real fiancé, had done that no questions asked. ‘Thank you.’ Apparently of their own accord her feet lifted her up so her lips could reach Mac’s. When her mouth grazed his gently she shuddered with need, and felt a returning movement from Mac. Pressing closer, she opened her mouth, expanded the kiss, and tasted him.
Mac’s hands landed on her waist, held her like a fragile package, and kept her from moving closer—or away. His mouth took over the kiss, deepening it, allowing their tongues to tangle. If not for those hands Kelli would’ve sagged against him, length to length, thighs touching, her breasts pushed against his chest, his growing reaction pressing into her stomach. If not for those blasted hands holding her in place. As though Mac was as uncertain as she was how far to take this.
Kelli froze. ‘We have rules in place for this very reason.’
Instantly Mac dropped his hands and stepped back. ‘Two minutes in the room and I can’t control myself.’
‘I think I have to take responsibility. I did start the kiss.’ Her body was screaming: more, more. What there was of a brain in her head, and that was up for debate, was shouting, Get away from him. He’s not yours, not your future. Only your date for the weekend.
‘Let’s go for a walk on the beach before we join the others at the bar,’ Mac suggested.
‘Separately. You go left, I’ll go right.’
‘No can do. We’re a couple, remember? Newly engaged at that. I’m thinking those brothers would notice faster than a jet on take-off if we don’t do this properly.’