by Sue MacKay
Slowly, slowly Kelli’s warmth moved into him, heating the cold that had settled around his heart all those years ago. Making room for new emotions. Making way for life. Really? Could he let go of the anguish that had kept him in limbo for so long and find happiness again?
Was he prepared to take the risk?
Was he prepared not to?
The answers weren’t bombarding him, but he could go with the flow for now.
Standing in Kelli’s arms, waiting, enjoying a new-found peace within himself as he soaked up the moments drifting by, allowing it to fill him with a relaxing quietness. Across the beach the tide rolled in, reaching up the sand, an occasional gull squawked, and behind them laughter and voices stabbed the air intermittently.
Kelli’s lips were moving on his neck, soft yet fiery, gentle yet demanding. Warmth was turning to heat, hot strobes searing him inside and out, building a desire he had to do something about.
His mouth caught hers, his lips demanded possession and his tongue made a foray into her heat. He wanted to lose himself in Kelli, to give as much as he needed to take. His hands cupped her butt, pressed her hard against his need.
‘Mac,’ she whispered.
His name hung on the night air, vibrating with Kelli’s longing. For him. An endorsement of his emotions, of the need to satisfy her too. He scooped her up into his arms and strode fast towards the trees at the end of the bay, which were closer than their room, and way more romantic.
Kelli suddenly started laughing, causing Mac to pause and ask, ‘You okay?’
‘What is it about us and weddings?’
Phew. ‘I have no idea but I’m liking it. We’ll have to attend more.’
Her laughter faded. ‘Think I’ve done my dash with those.’
Hey, they might be temporarily engaged but there’d never been any suggestion of a wedding. Mac lowered her to the ground. It was one thing to be rushing to the trees with Kelli in his arms, quite another to stand here holding her discussing unlikely events. Events that came with a dose of reality. This was a temporary situation. ‘Let’s finish this one before thinking about any more.’
Running her hands down the front of her dress, Kelli had no idea how she affected him. He had to turn away, stare out to sea. Or...
Mac turned back to Kelli, placed his hands on her shoulders and leaned in to kiss her. ‘You okay?’
She stared at him for a long moment. ‘Yes. Yes, I am.’
Did she just add ‘for now’ under her breath?
Mac wasn’t sure if he wanted to know. If Kelli was hurting then he had to stop all thoughts of sex and kisses. At least until she was comfortable with him again. ‘Let’s walk a bit more.’
‘No, let’s kiss, and follow through on that.’ She was up on her toes again.
Mac was over talking and trying to analyse everything. Kissing Kelli was way more exciting and rewarding and fun. And kissing was going to lead to those trees.
CHAPTER NINE
‘RISE AND SHINE,’ Kelli squeaked as the sun inched up over the horizon. ‘Let’s go kayaking.’
‘Didn’t you get enough exercise during the night?’ Mac groaned as he pulled the pillow over his head.
She tugged it away. ‘Nope. I’ve got energy to burn.’
‘Then I know how to fix that.’
Suddenly she was trapped in Mac’s arms and sprawled across that big chest. His knee was pushing between her legs, and already she was reacting with need. ‘I like your idea.’ She grinned before beginning a trail of kisses over his chest, not thinking too much about how she looked this morning.
Or that this was probably her last day as Mac’s fiancé. The engagement wouldn’t count once back at work.
Nope, she was grabbing everything with both hands and going to have the day of her life with the man she loved. Tomorrow was going to hurt anyway, might as well get as much out of today as possible. And give as much back so as Mac could never say he’d been used, and possibly, just possibly, he might see what he was walking away from and decide not to go. Instead stay and learn to love her.
Kayaking offshore in the morning sun added to the afterglow of their lovemaking and as Kelli powered ahead she couldn’t believe the sense of amazement filling her. This was how she’d always imagined being in love would be. But Steve had put paid to that, dampening down any joy she’d felt with him.
Mac paddled up beside her, not slowing, calling as he passed, ‘Race you to that boat anchored beyond the bay.’ He was off, not waiting to see if she was on for it. He knew she liked a challenge.
He wasn’t getting off lightly with this one. She was no stranger to kayaks, having spent many hours in them every summer at the family beach house. She dug deep with the paddle and began a slow, steady overhaul of the kayak in front. Those broad, muscular shoulders could be a distraction—if she let them.
Keeping her eyes fixed on the boat she was aiming for, she managed to keep her hormones in lockdown and begin to draw closer. And closer. Then, ‘Hey, slowcoach, stop mucking about and put some elbow into paddling.’ Her kayak nosed past, got in front and that was the last she saw of Mac until she reached their target and spun her craft around in the water to gloat. ‘And you thought you could beat me.’ She grinned moments later as his kayak nudged hers none too softly.
‘I didn’t want to hurt your feelings,’ he gave back.
‘Sure, buddy.’
‘Not a valid reason for losing? Fair enough. Brunch’s on me.’
Everything they ate at the resort was covered by her parents. ‘Does that mean we’re going into the town? Just the two of us?’
‘I’d like to see the town centre.’
‘We should check out some of the art shops and galleries. I need a small frame for a photo I got in Fiji.’
‘We have a plan. Is it okay we’re not joining your family this morning?’ Mac looked concerned.
‘I bet half them will be in town, doing other things. Today is wind-down time.’
She was right. Seemed every time they turned a corner they’d bump into someone from the wedding party. ‘There’s no getting away from them,’ she muttered.
‘Sounding disgruntled, sweetheart,’ Mac laughed. ‘Did you want time alone with me?’
Sweetheart, eh? Oh, boy. ‘Yes, I did.’
His eyes widened before he took her hand and dragged her along to the end of the street and a café overlooking the water. ‘In here, quick, before we’re spotted.’
As long as no one else had beaten them to the place. ‘This is like running from the media,’ she quipped.
‘You know about that?’ Surprise blinked out at her from those stunning green eyes.
She elbowed him. ‘I might’ve been famous in another life.’
‘Thought I recognised you from somewhere.’ He nodded at a waitress. ‘A table for two, please.’
As Kelli slipped onto the chair he held out, she grimaced. ‘Too often I saw Tamara trying to avoid the press. It was harrowing when all she wanted was to be left alone to get over what that awful man did by stealing her family’s fortune.’
Mac sat beside her. ‘She’s moved on. There was no looking back at their wedding.’
‘You’re right. She’s so happy in love.’ If Tamara had got another crack at the love game surely she was entitled to a chance? With Mac? He was her pick. And she was entitled. Just not trusting herself yet.
‘What are you having for breakfast? Salad? Or something decadent?’ Mac teased.
‘After all the exercise I’ve had? Eggs Benedict at least. Or should that be pancakes with berries and maple syrup?’ She licked her lips and tried to ignore the way Mac’s gaze fixed on them. ‘What are you having?’ she asked mischievously.
‘What?’ His gaze lifted to meet hers, and his eyes filled with lust. Or
was that something stronger?
‘Eggs for you?’ She’d love to give him what he wanted. Again. Making love had never been so incredible, so exquisite, so—everything.
‘Stop looking at me with those eyes,’ her lover growled.
‘They’re the only ones I’ve got.’
Then the waitress interrupted the fun, and they had to make up their minds what they were going to eat. Kelli figured a plate of chaff could be put in front of her and she’d hardly notice, the distraction sitting opposite her large.
Afterwards, out in the sunshine, heading towards an art shop, Kelli felt as if she were walking on air. She was living in a magic bubble, and refused to acknowledge it was about to pop. Not this morning, hopefully not any time today, and that was enough to be getting on with for now.
* * *
Mac strode along beside Kelli, his hands firmly jammed in his pockets. The morning was turning into one of the best he’d had in a long time. The best. Which was why he had to hold back and not grab Kelli’s hand in his and swing their arms between them while feeling her heat zing through his palm and into his veins.
Tipping into the well of excitement and happiness was all too easy to go along with, and would have consequences he wasn’t prepared to face. It wasn’t as though the pain of losing Cherie would suddenly disappear in a flash of lust. No, the pain was a familiar jacket he’d worn day and night since Cherie left him. Strange how comfortable that jacket was. Safety. Safety from the fear of trying again, moving forward. He’d had the love of his life. No one got two shots at that.
Billy has.
Mac stumbled. Where was he going with this? His eyes sought out Kelli, drank her in. His heart curled in on itself, tightened that comfort jacket around him. Kelli needed someone to love her with no restraint, and he couldn’t guarantee that.
‘Hey, Billy, Leanne, didn’t expect to see you two out of your rooms before midday.’ Kelli rushed to her brother to wrap him in a hug before giving Leanne one.
Had his thoughts conjured up Billy? The man looked relaxed and utterly happy. So it was possible to start again. Mac gave Leanne a light hug and Billy a back slap. ‘Great wedding, guys.’
Billy, the man who’d faced tragedy and moved on to find new happiness, grinned. ‘We thought so.’
Did he ever worry about losing Leanne? About history repeating itself? He had to. He was human. ‘I was glad to be a part of the proceedings.’
‘The family will be gearing up for another wedding now ours is done and dusted.’ Billy smiled. ‘Any idea when you might tie the knot, sis?’
Kelli’s face paled. ‘Um...no, not yet. There’s plenty of time, no need to rush.’
Mac moved closer to her, said, ‘We’ll make some decisions later.’
‘Watching you two together, I’d have said next week would be a good time.’ Leanne fanned her face with her hand. ‘I mean, you two are hot together.’
Draping an arm over Kelli’s shoulders, Mac struggled to come up with something to deflect these two who only meant the best for Kelli. ‘We’ll keep you posted. Now we need to get to the art shop, and I presume you’ve got lots you want to do before heading to the airport for your flight to Australia.’
‘Have a great honeymoon, you two.’ Kelli put her arm around his waist and began to walk away. ‘Spare me all the details when you get back.’ Laughter followed them down the road. ‘Phew,’ she muttered.
‘It’s getting harder, isn’t it?’
Her shoulders rose and fell under his arm. ‘It sure is.’
One day to get through and then Kelli would release him from their engagement, mission accomplished. ‘Jason’s been great about the whole thing.’
Kelli slipped out from under his arm. ‘He’s been brilliant.’
‘I wonder if he’d felt obligated to your parents for everything they’ve done for him?’
Kelli’s eyes all but popped out of her head. ‘He’d go so far as to marry me because of that?’
‘You work it out. You know him and your family better than I do.’ The more Mac thought about it, the more he felt he’d hit the button bang on. ‘It’s not too late to set the record straight.’
The nibbling stopped. ‘Because when everyone learns you and I are not engaged the pressure’s going back on? Got you. I’ll talk to Jason later.’
‘Good. Now let’s enjoy what’s left of our time together.’ He pointed to a shop. ‘Is that where we’re headed?’
With a nod Kelli changed direction, aiming for the wide store with big windows letting in lots of sunlight. Inside paintings dotted the walls, placed artfully so as not to encroach on the next and spoil the viewer’s enjoyment of what was on the canvas.
Kelli wandered around the room, stopping to gaze at two paintings in particular. ‘If only I had a big house to put works of art like these in.’ She sighed wistfully as she studied a watercolour of Rangitoto Island with a storm brewing around the peak. ‘That is particularly beautiful. Brings back memories of a day when Dad took me and Phil across to walk to the top. We got soaked, but I didn’t care. It was wonderful being on the island with only a couple of other people also walking the track to the summit.’
‘You wouldn’t want it where you live now?’ Mac asked.
‘It would have to go in my bedroom and that’s small and dark. No, that painting needs light and space to itself.’ She moved on.
What if he bought it for her? As a gift for a wonderful weekend? No. Not wise. She might misinterpret the gesture, think he wanted more from her, or think he was trying to buy his way into her bed again. Moving along, he studied the next two paintings, liked them but wasn’t overly moved. But the next one brought him up short. An abstract that spoke to him of tension and danger and risks and a softening in one corner that said maybe good things could happen if he was prepared to open up to them.
Mac stared and stared, taking in the brush strokes almost one by one. Dazzling red shades, subtle greens, angry blues, and a hint of summer blue. The more he looked, the more he found. He didn’t do art, wasn’t into paintings and pictures at all.
Kelli nudged him. ‘Buy it.’
‘No.’ Apart from a calendar and a photo of Mum with him and Cherie his apartment walls were bare. Sterile. Safe. Undemanding.
‘Dare you.’ The challenge was loud and clear.
He wasn’t having a bar of it. Not this one. He shook his head abruptly. ‘You finished in here?’
‘Sure.’ She followed quietly, but he could feel her eyes boring into the back of his skull.
Out on the footpath he looked around, saw a pottery shop and headed that way. ‘Let’s look in there.’
‘Okay,’ was all she said, but her disappointment was obvious. She expected more of him. An explanation for starters.
‘You’re not keen on pottery?’ he asked.
‘Not my thing. Whereas paintings are. Especially when it grabs me and won’t let me walk away. Then I know it’s special. Like that one did for you.’ She changed direction, heading for the beach.
Why did Kelli think one painting mattered? It wasn’t as though he’d shouted with glee or said he had to have it. No, he’d studied it in depth, that was all. Then he’d walked away, leaving it behind where it couldn’t bug him every time he saw it.
‘Where do you live?’ Kelli asked out of left field. Or maybe it wasn’t given he’d been looking at a painting and decided not to buy it.
‘In a Ponsonby apartment.’ It was modern, comfortable and boring. That painting would liven the place up no end.
‘Yours? Or do you rent?’
‘It’s mine.’
‘Any flatmates?’
‘No.’
‘Pets?’ she persisted.
What was this? Fifty questions? Might be lucky if she stopped at fifty. ‘I occasionally toss
the neighbour’s spaniel a bone. Does that count?’
Kelli was shaking her head over something he didn’t get. ‘Sounds lonely. I bet your walls are bare and the furniture is minimal.’
‘It’s perfect.’
‘Speaks of lack of involvement.’
He’d done that deliberately. ‘Okay, I’ll play ball with pooch next time I see him.’
‘Stop being a prat, Mac.’ Anger glittered out of those serious eyes, directed solely at him. ‘Why did you come here with me if you don’t want to mix with people?’
Go for the solar plexus, why don’t you?
‘I told you. You needed help and I offered.’
Her hands were on her hips, her feet slightly splayed. ‘So you said, but I don’t buy it. You’ve fitted right in. You are a people person, Mac. Don’t say you don’t like most of them back.’
‘I used to be a people person.’ But Kelli had a valid point. ‘You’re right. I’ve enjoyed myself immensely these past couple of days. I’ve remembered what it’s like to be involved with friends, and to have someone special at my side.’ Ouch. Shouldn’t have said that. ‘That special person is you, Kelli. I have no idea where we’re going with what started out as a solution to your problem, but I do like you a lot.’ Like? Pathetic. But as far as he was prepared to go for now. The most he’d admit even to himself.
‘Thank you, I think.’ She wasn’t smiling at him, or bursting with happiness.
Did Kelli expect more of him? Slam. What if she didn’t like him half as much as he did her? He’d set himself up for a crash. He’d better toughen up and get over himself. This was what getting involved meant. Suddenly he thought he might want more with Kelli, that he mightn’t be happy to rock off into the sunset come Monday. Was this love? He did not know. It didn’t feel like last time. Could be it was taking the long way round to his heart. If it wasn’t then it could be the beginning of a strong friendship. Mac shuddered. Being friends with Kelli was imperative, but nowhere near enough.