by Andra Lake
I faltered, afraid to voice what I wanted to say, relieved that he couldn’t see my face as my cheeks stained pink. I peeked over my shoulder to see him smirking, his equilibrium apparently restored.
“It’s okay. I get it. I feel the same way.”
I exhaled in a rush, moving to the other side of the bath so I could see him.
“Truth be told,” he continued, “I’ve always wanted to go as well. Going with you is an added bonus.”
He was beaming now, and it was because he was going with me. I hugged myself a little, overwhelmed with feelings of gratitude, and still wondering how I got so lucky.
Chapter Twenty-four
Sunday morning we did the obligatory carriage ride and then toured the Mercer House as well as some other heritage houses. We spent the rest of the afternoon exploring the streets and taking pictures. Savannah had such a rich feel. Artists in our own right, both Dallon and I could appreciate its history and beauty.
When it was time to head to the airport, I dragged my feet, unwilling to admit that our time together in this magical city was coming to an end.
“We’ll come back,” Dallon promised. “It’s only a two hour flight, remember?”
I spent most of the flight home reading the information I’d collected on J. Houston Oilfield and playing with the Adobe software on my laptop. Dallon kept his arm around me the entire flight, the other on his e-reader.
When we landed, I turned on my phone and cringed at the texts and voicemails I’d missed from my parents. I’d forgotten to call during the last week. I cringed even harder when I heard my mom’s voicemail reprimanding me for not telling her about my new job.
“What’s wrong?” Dallon asked, reading my expression.
“It’s my parents. They’re upset I haven’t called.”
He pressed a chaste kiss to my lips. “Call now. I’ll pick up our bag and meet you at the doors.”
I sent a quick text to my mom letting her know I was starting tomorrow and that I would call her in a second, and then I went to the bathroom. By the time I was finished, I’d already missed a call, and my phone began to ring in my hand.
“Hey, Mom.”
“Why did I have to hear about your new job through Helen?” she demanded.
“I’m sorry. I’ve just been so preoccupied.”
“Sam told her you might get a promotion into Graphic Design.”
“Yeah, they enrolled me in courses with the idea that I move into another position.” I began walking toward Baggage Claim in search for Dallon. “I’m still planning to pursue my own art on the side.”
“Honey, I’m so proud of you.”
I halted in my tracks momentarily. “Wow, thanks, Mom. That’s… really nice to hear.”
She sniffed. “I just wish you’d told us. It’s exciting news.”
“It is. I’m sorry.”
I spotted Dallon lifting our bag off the carousel and heading toward the door, so I changed course.
“I have to go, though. Can I call you tomorrow?”
“Your father wants to speak with you. It will be quick,” Mom said, and then my dad was on the line.
“Hey, sweetheart. Congrats. We’re both very proud of you.”
“Thanks, Dad. I appreciate it.”
I sighed as Dallon paused mid-step to answer his phone. He’d only just gotten home and people were already on him.
“Graphic Design huh,” Dad continued, grunting a little. “Who would have thought of that? I guess you knew what you were doing all along. We should have trusted you.”
Whoa. My eyes misted and I turned away. “Thanks, Daddy. I didn’t really know what I was doing, but it seems like everything is finally working out.”
“It does seem that way. We still miss you, sweetheart, but we’re glad that you’re happy.”
“I am happy.” I peeked over my shoulder at Dallon. “Things couldn’t be better.”
“Well we’ll let you go. Love you, sweetheart.”
“Love you too. Talk soon.”
Shaking my head, I hung up the phone. Who would have known that talking to my parents could actually lift my spirits?
Dallon had finished his call and was shoving his phone into his back pocket. As I cut toward him, he glanced up as if hearing his name… and his eyes hardened. I stopped in my tracks. It was his dominant look, but it wasn’t aimed at me; he was looking at a woman a few feet in front of him.
I froze. He hadn’t seen me yet. Ducking, I darted around a man pushing baggage carts, and my view changed. I could see both of their profiles as she approached him. I hid behind a column, putting a hand against it to steady myself. It was obvious that they knew each other, and intimately. Even from my vantage point there was no denying the tension between them.
“Ruri,” I heard him say with an exhale.
Ruri was thin as a reed, with a pointy chin and black hair cut in bangs across her forehead and tied up in a high ponytail. She was wearing a sailor dress and red heels that made her stick legs look sky high, even though she was as petite as me. But it was the manner in which she greeted Dallon that set me on edge.
“Hello, Sir.”
There was no mistaking the reaction her greeting invoked in Dallon; his jaw tightened and as his eyes bore into her, the atmosphere changed. As I watched, his demeanor changed subtly, so that he seemed larger, stronger, colder... and Ruri responded, dipping her head as her cheeks flushed pink. Glancing up at him through her bangs, she toyed with her hair, smiling coyly.
Dallon took a step closer. My stomach twisted painfully. He was looking at her the way I’d often caught him looking at me—like he wanted to devour her.
“Where is he?” There was no mistaking the bitterness in his voice.
“He’ll be back.”
Dallon reached out and tenderly stroked her cheek. “Leave him.”
Her head lifted and they stared at each other, Dallon imploring her with his eyes, and I saw it. Love. He was asking her to leave whomever she was with because he was still in love with her.
No! Feeling like I might throw up, I moved completely behind the column, leaning my back against it. It was torture to listen to the conversation, but I had to. I needed to know who she was to him.
Ruri giggled—a musical sound like that of a schoolgirl. “You’re still trying to save me.”
“Where are you coming from?” Dallon’s tone had changed, and I imagined he didn’t like that she wasn’t listening to him.
“He took me to Key West on vacation.”
“Are you back in New York?”
“For now. How is your sub?”
My heart clenched as I realized she must be referring to me, that that is how he must see me.
“Ruri, I…” Dallon began, but she cut him off.
“I should go. He’ll be angry if he sees me talking to you.”
Dallon cursed under his breath, but the conversation was over.
I waited a minute or two to compose myself before stepping out from around the column, though I doubted Dallon would have noticed anything was wrong. He was facing the door, his hands deep in his pockets, face stoic. When I approached, he glanced at me with vacant eyes before exiting to the waiting cabs.
We rode home in silence. Dallon was staring out the window, looking pensive and rubbing his temples with his right hand. It ate me up inside knowing he was still thinking about her—Ruri. I desperately wanted to confront him, to let him know what I’d seen, but I didn’t know how to proceed after last night’s conversation.
I was also terrified of what I’d discover.
I followed Dallon into our home, feeling further neglected as he walked ahead of me without holding my hand. He went straight into his bedroom and dropped off the bag, and then returned a moment later, heading straight for the bar. Poured himself a glass of scotch and tossed it back. Filled it again. Lumbered over to the breakfast bar and sat heavily on a stool.
He was still elsewhere, still lost in the memory of his exchange a
t the airport. I stood in the living room, unsure how to proceed. It was like he’d completely forgotten I was there. As the seconds passed, I felt him moving further and further away from me, retreating into himself.
“Dallon, what’s wrong?”
His face turned to mine and he blinked a few times before responding. “Amy. Is there something you need?”
I sat down on the couch, patted the spot beside me. “Please come here. Sit with me.”
He frowned and looked into his drink, twirling the contents. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Why?” My voice was so quiet, I was surprised he even heard me.
“You should stay away from me.” He tossed back his drink and immediately filled it again.
My scalp prickled, and I braced myself for the worst.
“It’s not your fault—you tried, but I didn’t let you. And now I’ve turned you into what you are.”
His words sliced me like a knife. I stood up, teetering on shaky legs. “What do you mean, you turned me into what I am?”
“I’m the bad guy, Amy,” he bit out, his voice rising. “I do bad things to good people. I’m surprised you haven’t figured that out already.”
I shook my head. “No, you’re not. Something is going on. Just tell me. Please.”
In response, Dallon jumped to his feet, threw his glass against the kitchen cupboard. I jumped, covering my face. When I dropped my hands, he was staring at me with a dark expression.
“You were better off before you met me.”
Angry tears burned my eyes. Everything I feared was coming true, and he couldn’t give a shit. Anger surged through me as I shot back, “Was Ruri?”
He froze. “How do you know about Ruri?”
“I saw you two. At the airport. I heard your conversation, too, the one in which she referred to me as your sub.”
“Did you now.”
“Yes,” I said, raising my chin. “I heard her call you ‘Sir’. You told me that no one had ever called you that before—that you’d never had a relationship like ours before.”
“I haven’t.”
“Don’t lie to me, Dallon.”
He rolled his eyes and returned to the bar, filling a new glass. “I don’t need this right now.”
“You never tell me anything. Sam knew more about you than I did.”
He turned around slowly, glass in hand.
“Please, tell me who she is and what she means to you.”
His tone was petulant, his eyes widening in challenge. “No.”
“I heard you tell her to leave him.”
“So?”
“You still care about her, don’t you?”
He looked away, but not before I caught the guilty look on his face. I’d already figured out what was going on, but it still stung.
“How much? Because you’re telling me that I should have stayed away from you and it’s obvious that you still care about her.”
Agonizing seconds passed as he stared into his drink.
“I never meant to hurt you,” he said eventually, still looking into the liquid. “I never meant to hurt anyone.”
The tears hit my cheeks and I let them, no longer caring if he saw my pain—wanting him to see it, even. “This is what I was so afraid of. I’ve given you everything you wanted, and now you don’t want me anymore.”
I turned and ran to the safety of my room.
***
“I broke her. I sent her to him.”
I opened my eyes and rolled over to see Dallon silhouetted in the doorway.
“Ruri?”
He nodded and came into the room, sat beside me on the bed. “She was the one who showed me who I am.”
My breath caught. Now we were getting somewhere. Ruri was the woman that had introduced him to his lifestyle.
I sat up and shoved over so we could sit side-by-side against the headboard.
“She wanted a relationship, not just sex,” Dallon continued, putting an arm over his eyes. “She pushed me to continue, to do things to her that I was ashamed of doing, promising the whole time that she could help me accept who I really am. But I didn’t want that. I wanted to be… fixed. I hated her for making me into that person. I used and abused her, and then I kicked her to the curb.”
I tried to swallow, but my throat was dry.
Dallon let out a shuddering breath. “When I think of how I treated her—like she was an object—I hate myself.”
Holy shit. This glimpse into Dallon’s past was a lot, more than seeing the pictures. I’d known he was dark, but to hear him confess just how dark…
“To make things worse, she ended up with him. It’s all my fault.”
“Who is he?” I whispered.
Dallon’s arm dropped to his side and he looked at me with such misery, I shivered.
“Christopher. I went to University with him. He hates me so he went for her, but what I didn’t realize is that he already knew what we were involved in. He doesn’t care for anyone except himself. He’s one of those creeps that takes the lifestyle too far, and Ruri is too deep to get out.”
“What do you mean?” Images of scary S&M people danced through my head.
He closed his eyes as if in pain, pinched his nose. “Like I already you, trust is the most important aspect, but so are respect and love. Without that, a Dominant is basically asking for a sex slave to take advantage of. Some of the things he’s made Ruri do…” He opened his eyes, and they were blazing with fury. “I’ll kill him. If I see him, I know I’ll kill him.”
“Shh.” I took his face in both hands and kissed his lips, fear tugging at my heart. “It isn’t your fault. None of that is your fault. Ruri is a grown woman making her own decisions.”
“I broke her,” he repeated. “I stripped her of whatever self-esteem she had left, and then she walked right into his arms.”
“You can’t blame yourself. It sounds like he’s the one hurting her, not you.”
Dallon’s eyes flashed and he stood, pushing me off him. “You don’t get it, do you? I am a bad person, Amy. I want bad things. I get turned on by seeing your beautiful little ass redden under my hand, sure, but I want more.” His eyes hardened. “I’ve gotten more.”
I felt like I’d been punched. I couldn’t tell if he was angry he hadn’t gotten more with me or if he was disgusted with himself. I rose onto my knees and balled my hands into fists.
“I don’t give a shit about your past because I have one too, okay? I’m not some perfect little angel that you defile. Everything you’ve ever done to me, I’ve enjoyed. Wanted more, even. There, I said it. So if you’re a monster, what does that make me, a whore?”
Dallon’s eyes widened momentarily, and then his lip twitched, but his eyes were cold. “I made you that way.”
“Screw you.”
I moved to get off the bed, but he caught me, pinning me down. He was on top of me now, our faces inches apart.
“I don’t mean I made you a whore. I meant I made you like me.”
I blinked as understanding set in. That was what he’d meant when he’d said he’d turned me into what I am.
“You revealed it, that’s all,” I whispered to his tortured face. “I responded to you the very first night we met, and you know it. I’ve always wanted what you want and it’s taken nothing for you to convince me of that.”
“The point is that I did. I brought it out in you.”
“No, it’s always been there. I’m fucked up, too.”
A muscle thrummed along his jaw. “Not like me.”
“Exactly like you.”
He released me, moving to the edge of the bed as if he needed to put some distance between us. I immediately sat up, rising onto my knees on the bed.
“What do you want from me, Dallon? You told me that I have to trust you, that you know what’s best for me. Now you’re acting like being with you—being the way I am—is a bad thing.”
He stood abruptly and moved to the door. “You’re right,
I’m not myself right now. Arnold will take us to work in the morning. Have a good sleep.”
Then he was gone.
I cried into my pillow. I don’t know how long it took me to fall asleep, but when I did, I dreamed of Ruri.
Dallon and Ruri and the man that he’d lost her to.
Chapter Twenty-five
I woke up for my first day of work looking like shit.
My eyes were puffy and ringed with dark circles, which I tried my best to cover with makeup. It was not a good first impression.
The smell of coffee filled the penthouse. I found Dallon sitting at the breakfast bar looking equally as tired. He was scowling at his phone and only glanced up when I appeared beside him to pour myself a cup of coffee.
“I’m sorry about last night,” he said, standing and pulling me into a hug. “Seeing Ruri just… threw me.”
Me too, I wanted to say. I felt absolutely shredded.
He stepped back and searched my eyes, still holding my shoulders. “This weekend was amazing. I can’t begin to describe what it meant to me.”
I swallowed, unsure how to respond.
Fear flashed across his features. “I’m a jerk for screwing that up.”
“It’s okay,” I said, shrugging out of his grip. “I know you were feeling guilty about Ruri. That’s all. Should we get going?”
Arnold was waiting for us at the bottom of the building. This time he greeted me by name and a warm smile, which I returned. Dallon and I didn’t talk for the entire drive. At one point he took my hand, and I let him, but I continued to look out the window.
When I walked into the office, Becky was waiting in the lobby. She looked up from the magazine she was reading when I entered and smiled warmly.
“If there’s anything you want to keep in here overnight, there’s a key in your drawer,” she said as she hung my light jacket up in a closet beside the reception desk. “I’ll sit with you this morning, and then this afternoon I’ll leave you to it. First we’ll take the tour and introduce you to everyone. Don’t worry about remembering everyone’s names, though,” she added with a laugh.