Darrick. Would she ever see him again when this was over? Once she had Caradoc and returned home, truly it would best for Darrick if she severed all ties, leaving him free to find a noble, mortal wife and start his family.
Best for him – but what of her? How would her heart withstand the pain?
As a distraction from such distressing thoughts, Alanna turned her thoughts to the ancient legend. Again she replayed the riddle’s cryptic verses in her mind. Pairs of pairs. Over the centuries many had interpreted this stanza – with results as varied as the seasons. In the end, all thought it meant simply that she, a Reagan, must marry Darrick, a Tadhg or poet, and bear his child.
But fate had intervened. Her destiny had not been Madonna/savior as Wynne had planned. She was no legendary magical princess, nor self-styled savior for the troubles of her people. All she was, her entire sense of self - besides her mostly honorary title as Princess of Rune - was based on her being Caradoc’s mother. And that was all she wanted to be.
Mother. Not warrior woman, nor heroine.
Nor lover. Never again.
Or did she merely attempt to shield the truth from herself? Not since the days before Morfran’s brutality had she thought of herself that way. As a lover.
No. Not now. Not ever.
With sleep still eluding her, like an arrow her thoughts returned to Darrick. The simple beauty of his grudging smile. The warmth that burned in his dark eyes, lighting his face from within. And, for the first time since Morfran’s brutality had stolen it from her, she remembered his touch, oddly gentle and sensual at the same time. The promise of his kiss, with the capacity to shatter the wall she’d built around her self.
They had been apart a long time. Surely by now he’d learned to forget her.
As she’d learned to forget him? She wanted to laugh. She wanted to cry. She could not lie to others so she certainly could not lie to herself. She’d never been able to forget Darrick Tadhg. She feared she never would.
* * * *
Time to travel again. Exhaustion weighing heavily on his shoulders, Darrick gave the order to ride out. He’d managed some sleep, though frustrated desire for Alanna had kept him restless. The camp had again been quickly dismantled, and he’d sent off a man to look for a village, any village, so that they might replenish their dwindling supplies. `Twas daylight now, and the still-watery winter sun hid behind a thick coverlet of clouds. The morning air carried the promise of snow.
Alanna joined him, again carrying the child. Both were wrapped against the chill in hooded, woolen cloaks.
“I’ve been trying to prepare for the next attack.”
Surprised, he glanced at her. Pale and lovely, she had a determined glint in her green eyes.
“Next attack?”
“You know they will try again. Don’t toy with me, Darrick.”
He gave a nod, acknowledging the truth of her words. “Aye, most likely you’re right. I too believe they will make another attempt. The question is, how?”
“Exactly. First, Gorsedd himself traveled with some dark force. `Twas this which crushed me, and killed Bart. To do such a thing must use great reserves of energy.”
“That attack seemed the most dangerous, even more so than the shadowy riders. Do you think Gorsedd will send that force after us again?”
She shook her head. “No. Such a deed uses a great amount of power. He conserves his power now, to use all at once. He will find another way to attack us. I think we surprised him back there in that old church. He did not expect us to beat back the dark riders.”
“The dark riders. What were they?”
“I know not. My best guess is something from another realm.”
He stared. “You mean like Rune?”
“No. More like the Christian Hell. There are many levels of existence, and the ones we know are but two of them. I think Gorsedd has allied himself with dangerous things.”
“Dangerous, aye. But how? And why?”
“I have come to believe more is at stake than we realize. More than your mother and my son, your world and mine. Though I cannot be certain, I think the riddle addresses this greater thing.”
The riddle. Should he ask her now about Caradoc? He looked at her determined face and his heart failed him. Instead, he spoke the first words that came to mind. “So Gorsedd wishes to become King?”
“More than that, even. I think Gorsedd means to bring about the end of the world as we know it.”
He stared. “The end of the world? Why, when to do such a thing would end his existence as well as ours?”
“You misunderstand. He does not plan to destroy the world. Rather he will change the shape and face of all life. Nothing will be as it is now. The sun will be blunted, the day will become night. If Gorsedd succeeds, according to legend, the world will be a place without hope.”
“What does Morfran get out of this? Why is he involved?”
With her chin in the air, Alanna looked every inch the royal princess. “Most likely Gorsedd made him promises.”
“Promises?”
“Aye. There are many lands that would fall in such a battle. No doubt Morfran would be given one to rule. I think Gorsedd plans to ascend to a greater position of power in this new, darkened world.”
Her harsh tone frightened Ellette, who peered up with wide blue eyes. She scrunched up her little face as though she planned to let loose a wail. Making a clucking sound, Alanna kissed the tip of her nose.
“Don’t worry, little one. If we are lucky, we shall find my Caradoc soon and you two can play.”
At the name Caradoc, Ellette perked up, breaking into a wide, snaggle-toothed grin. She chortled, tugging at the horse’s mane.
“Cawadoc,” Ellette said firmly, as though invoking a spell. “Me want Cawadoc.”
Alanna chuckled and again kissed the child’s forehead.
“Soon, Ellette. Soon.”
Darrick could only hope Alanna’s promise was correct. The more they chased after Gorsedd and his escort, the less certain he became of their eventual success.
Clearing his throat, he tried again. “This legend you spoke of, is there more to it?”
She lifted her head to look at him. Again he felt the shock of her emerald gaze. “Aye, though I cannot say I’ve memorized more than the riddle I recited to you. Those stanzas were drilled into me, as all of Rune believed `twas my destiny to fulfill that part of it. I was to birth the savior who could restore the fading power and save the world from a reign of darkness.”
Though his throat felt scratchy and the frigid air made his chest ache, Darrick took a deep breath. “Can you remember the gist of it? This dark world you mention, I assume such a possibility has been addressed in the legend?”
“Yes. Though no one knew how the darkness would come. Now I believe Gorsedd means to become catalyst for this evil.”
“I take it Gorsedd would know of this legend also?”
She grimaced. “All of Rune know it. So, yes. I believe that is why he grabbed my son. He believes Caradoc to be part of it.”
“Is he?”
She frowned. “Is he what?”
“Part of it. He is of both worlds.”
“Of course not. Both worlds – human and Fae – Caradoc is. But Morfran is not Tadhg, therefore not the poet mentioned.”
It went without saying who was. Now. Darrick’s gut twisted. He chose his words carefully. “If we’d had a child, you and I, our offspring might have been the child of this prophecy, correct?”
She nodded. “With such a child, we would have stood a chance at defeating such evil.”
He took a deep breath, his heart pounding in his chest. “Alanna, I--”
Brows raised, she waited for him to finish. “Well?” she prodded.
“I was thinking. While what you say explains a lot of Gorsedd’s actions, I fail to see why anyone would want to turn the world into such a horrible place, never mind rule it.”
Her rebuke was mild. “You know well that many men
exist with twisted souls. Gorsedd apparently is one of these.”
She was right. Darrick thought of the crusade that wasn’t and nodded. “Aye, I have seen such men in my travels.”
Curiosity filled her bright gaze. “Why did you go away to fight? You never were overmuch fond of war.”
Familiar bitterness filled him. “This war was a travesty, no holy war at all. I used all of my family’s available funds to fund Varden’s and my going.”
“Varden went?” She smiled. “I have not seen your brother since he was knee high. How does he fare?”
“Varden is dead.” Clenching his jaw against the guilty pain, Darrick stared unseeing into the distance. “He’s been gone these past six months now.”
She gasped, sorrow filling her expressive face. “How? He was so young. What happened?”
“We sailed for the holy land. We only made it as far as Lisbon, Portugal. Retaking that city was our only success. Varden fought well. He died in the battle there.”
“I am sorry.” She bent her head to place another kiss on Ellette’s golden hair. “Your mother must grieve mightily.”
All knew Varden had been the Lady Rowena’s favorite.
“My mother--” He had to clear his throat and try again. “My mother does not even know. I have not seen her since I returned – already she was with Morfran. I believed she’d gone willingly to join her brother.”
She nodded, appearing to concentrate on watching her small charge. If he knew Alanna – and he believed he still did – she attempted to distract herself to keep from weeping.
Not a bad idea. He too focused on the little girl riding in front of Alanna.
Glad of the attention, Ellette laughed out loud, making motions with her hands as though trying to capture something only she could see. The woolen cloak swirled and dipped with each movement of her arms. Alanna’s horse noticed, and turned her ears back attentively.
Ellette laughed again, drawing the attention of the rest of their small group. Darrick’s saw Geoffrey rode alone, lost in his own thoughts, his expression harsh and bleak.
“Darrick?” Alanna drew his attention back to her. “How were you able to travel the sea, when--”
“When the ocean is my greatest terror?” He shook his head. “Though I am unmanned by my fear, `tis well known. And I am ashamed to speak of how I coped with the ship.”
“Ashamed? But you conquered your fear. I would think you would be proud.”
“Proud?” He grimaced. “I became a drunken fool, Alanna. I drank wine every waking hour, keeping myself senseless until we reached land.”
He did not mention that her leaving had driven him to many drunken days and nights before that, until Varden had hauled him up by the collar one day and ordered him to stop. If any other man had done so, Darrick would have hit him, but he’d always had a soft spot for his younger brother. In addition, Varden had been right. Darrick had hidden behind the blunting pleasure of wine, so he wouldn’t feel the agony of losing Alanna. Once sober, he’d sought to hide behind the savagery of war.
Now he feared even wine wouldn’t be enough were he to lose her a second time.
“Look!” Alanna pointed.
In a flurry of dust, the man he’d sent to scout for a village returned. Upon learning that a small village was a short distance down the road, most of the men’s temperaments visibly improved.
Once they rode over the next hill, the uncultivated fields became green, fertile ones. Sheep dotted the surrounding hillsides and thatched roofs covered the scattered crofter’s cottages that always led into a town.
A few moments and another hill or two later, they arrived in the village of Egremont. A smallish place, most of its inhabitants seemed to be gathered in the center of town.
“A festival?” Exchanging a quick glance with Darrick, Alanna reined in her white horse. Darrick did the same. Brightly colored ribbons festooned booths selling sweetmeats and pastries, and several of the townspeople appeared to have suffered from an overabundance of mead.
“Look, fresh fruit!” Sarina pointed.
Where these people had obtained such a treat in the dead of winter, Darrick knew not. But he took one look at the excitement on Alanna’s face and decided he didn’t care.
With a few words he dispatched several men to purchase bread and cheese. Then he dismounted and, leading his war horse by the reins, strode up to the fruit peddler.
The small booth did a brisk business, most likely because of the novelty of the wares. Waiting patiently in line, Darrick thought the apples, plums, and pears on display appeared so plump they appeared beautiful.
Finally, Darrick’s turn came. He pointed at a rosy apple, then a dark plum. “Your fruits rival those I have purchased in the middle of summer. How came you to have these delicacies when frost still covers the land?”
The man selling the fruit smiled at him, gesturing towards his bounty. One of his front teeth was missing. “I grow `em, me lord. Inside a specially constructed solar I built myself.”
Interesting. He’d have to try that sometime, once he’d rebuilt Thorncliff. Darrick glanced over his shoulder at Alanna, who watched him with such eagerness that the shadows were temporarily banished from her eyes.
How could he resist? “I’ll take three of everything.”
The man’s eyes widened. “Don’t you wish to know the price first?”
Fumbling in his pouch, Darrick withdrew a Florin. “Will this cover it?”
“Aye.” Gathering up the fruits with shaking hands, the peddler paused. “You have bought enough that I can rest for the remainder of the week.”
“You had a good day?”
“Aye. But you, my Lord, have made it a wonderful one.”
Darrick squinted at the man. “Is one gold coin enough?”
With a yellow-toothed grin, the man held out the cloth-wrapped bundle. “More than enough. Here you are, me lord.”
Tossing the coin on the wooden counter, Darrick accepted the fruits and turned away. He tied them securely to his saddle before he mounted.
Alanna grinned at him. Darrick grinned back.
“All have returned,” Clearing his throat, Geoffrey spoke brusquely. “Our supplies have been replenished.”
“Then we’ll go.” With a brusque nod at his men, Darrick signaled his horse to move forward. “We’ve got a good ways to travel if we’re to catch Gorsedd and his men before they reach the sea.”
Though they rode until the horses’ sides were lathered, they did not catch sight of their elusive quarry.
As they journeyed further west, the trees thinned, the rich green fields giving way to rock-strewn wilderness. Darrick missed the thick forests, which had dwindled to a single tree here and there. These lone trees looked deformed, perverse somehow, hunched and gnarled against the incessant wind.
Even the breeze smelled different. Salty. If he closed his eyes, Darrick fancied he could hear the mighty roar of the waves as they pounded the rocks.
Soon they would reach the sea.
The sea.
His old nemesis. And once, before Alanna had come back into his life, his greatest fear. Now he had another – losing her. And the boy who might be his own son.
As the reached the top of a hilly rise, they reined in. Sniffing the salt-tinged air, Geoffrey cast a look of worry his way. He had been with Darrick on that terrible voyage to Portugal, a rough passage upon the sea that had made Darrick deathly ill, while not affecting Varden or Geoffrey at all.
When they’d finally reached land, the war had been nearly over. In the crush of crusaders, they’d been among those who’d managed to overtake Lisbon. The cost had been the blood of hundreds of innocents, including Darrick’s brother. He had survived while Varden had not. Darrick would never forgive himself for asking Varden to accompany him. Nor would his lady mother, once she was told of his death.
“We grow closer to the coast.”
“Aye, although we still have a hour or more to ride before we reach the edge
of the land.” Darrick turned his attention to the ribbon of road stretching out like a snake before them. “There is no sign that any have traveled here recently. Especially a small army.”
“We will have to rest.”
Geoffrey nodded his agreement. “I don’t see we have a choice.”
Alanna made a sound of protest. “Surely we can ride a few more hours. `Tis barely dusk.”
Though he hated to disappoint her, Darrick shook his head. “To push the horses any further would be foolish. We cannot afford to lose one of them.”
With a reluctant nod, she gave in.
For the next few moments, Darrick kept busy helping his men set up camp. When nothing remained to be done, he took first watch. While he knew his reluctance to speak to Alanna might be cowardly, he was not yet sure he wanted to learn the truth either.
He might have a son. A boy of nearly five summers whom he’d not ever even seen.
An hour passed, then another. When the man finally appeared to relieve him, apologizing for having overslept, Darrick waved his words away and left him at his post.
Stretching out the aches in his leg and back, Darrick headed for Alanna’s tent. There could be no more delay. He must know the truth, no matter how badly it might hurt him. Or her.
Stooping to enter, Darrick paused to let his eyes adjust to the dim interior. Though Ellette slumbered peacefully, Alanna raised herself on her elbows and watched him. Awake. She made a soft gasp of surprise at his entrance.
“I would speak with you.”
At his whispered request, she nodded. Rising gracefully, she pushed past him through the tent flap. Outside, she turned to face him, arms crossed.
“Well?”
“Not here.” He glanced at his own tent, a few paces away. “Will you come with me?”
“I cannot leave the child.”
“Get Sarina to watch her.”
With a mocking smile, Alanna shook her head. “She sleeps with your Geoffrey.”
“Does she?” He shrugged, glad his friend had finally come to his senses. “No matter. She can still stay with the child for a few minutes while you and I talk.”
Soul Magic Page 14