“We split the work. I think Lydia may have had the toughest job—preparing custard and stewed fruit for dessert. Suzanne, why don’t you start?” Rachel placed a napkin on her lap, glancing around the table at the strongest women she knew. She considered each a close friend, a confidante, and trusted them completely. If anything could help Lydia return to the life she had before Sam’s kidnapping, it was the support of these women.
“All right, Suzanne. I’ve been waiting days to find out what happened with you and Nick.” Lena placed a forkful of chicken into her mouth, chewing slowly.
Suzanne’s hand stilled in midair. “He’s your business partner. I thought you would’ve heard something.”
“What do you mean?” Lena’s eyes widened, as did those of the other women. Nick Barnett had been smitten with Suzanne from almost the first instant he met her, and most believed she felt the same.
Suzanne set down her fork, inhaling a ragged breath. “He asked me to supper at the restaurant in your new hotel. I declined at first, knowing how hard it would be to get someone to take my place for the night. He wouldn’t take no for an answer, figuring a way to have one of the morning servers work in the evening.”
“It helps that he’s part owner of the boardinghouse.”
“It does, Alison. Anyway, I worried about it for days, then took hours to get my hair ready and select the perfect dress.” Suzanne glanced at Alison, who’d altered one of the dresses in her shop to fit Suzanne’s lithe form.
“What happened?” Lena had stopped eating. She’d known Nick since they were children trapped into living in a brothel with mothers who could barely provide food and clothing. If he’d done anything to hurt Suzanne, he’d be in a world of trouble.
“I waited until it became apparent he wasn’t going to come for me. When I went downstairs to make certain the restaurant had been closed and the kitchen cleaned, I found him sitting at a table with a woman I’d never seen, sharing a bottle of whiskey. The look on his face made it clear he’d completely forgotten me…forgotten he’d invited me to supper.” Her shoulders slumped. “Since then, Nick hasn’t spent more than a minute around me, and hasn’t offered an explanation or apology.”
“That was Saturday night?” Ginny asked.
Suzanne nodded. She hadn’t planned on discussing the disastrous event with her friends.
“Goodness, Suzanne. That doesn’t sound at all like the Nick we know. Does it, Lena?” Abby couldn’t miss the disappointment on Suzanne’s face. Abby had known her for years, knew about the death of her husband and daughter in an unexpected winter storm, and watched her struggle to make a living. Not once had Suzanne shown any interest in a man—until Nick Barnett arrived in Splendor.
Lena cleared her throat, anger welling inside. “No. It doesn’t sound at all like him. I wonder who the woman was. Did he introduce you?”
“He barely acknowledged me, Lena. Of course, I left the moment he noticed my presence.”
“Can you describe her?” Lena pushed aside the unease she felt. She couldn’t recall a time he’d ever treated a woman as he had Suzanne. Although she’d never betray Nick’s confidence, she knew his love for her ran deep.
Suzanne closed her eyes, remembering the woman who’d captured Nick’s attention. “Beautiful dark hair, almost as black as Nick’s. I wasn’t close enough to be sure, but I think her eyes were a shade of green. I didn’t get a good look at her, but she seemed young, perhaps eighteen.”
“Hmmm.” Lena scowled. “Nick has never shown an interest in younger women.”
“What do you mean?” Rachel sat forward in her chair, as mesmerized by the discussion as the other women.
Lena’s face softened. “Nick has always come across as older than his years. He took on a lot of responsibility as a boy, including acting as my protector. He always seemed attracted to women close to his age or a little older. Younger women never appealed to him.”
Suzanne felt a blush creep up her face. She’d intentionally pushed him away more than once, knowing he was younger, although she never knew by how many years. It had now become important to her. “Lena, how old is Nick?”
She tapped a finger on her chin. “Let me think. Thirty-seven or thirty-eight.”
“Why, you’re only a few years old than he is, Suzanne.” Abby slapped a hand over her mouth and shook her head when everyone’s gaze turned to her. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to blurt that out.”
Suzanne’s soft laugh cut the tension. “It’s fine, Abby. The women here know I’m older than Nick. Regardless, it’s been four days and he hasn’t tried to speak with me or explain what happened. I honestly believe he forgot his supper invitation.” Picking up her fork, she scooped up a hefty portion of vegetables. “Let’s talk about something else, shall we?”
The room fell silent for a moment before Ginny spoke, her voice a whisper. “Luke wants to try for more children.”
Rachel leaned over, placing a hand on Ginny’s arm. “Of course he does, honey. Luke loves you. Do you think you’re ready?”
A slow smile spread across her face. “Yes, I believe I am. I’m tired of feeling down over the loss, and I can’t stand to see Luke so miserable. I’m going to ask him if we can return to our house tonight—if you and Dax don’t mind, Rachel.”
“Why would we mind? I’m so glad you’re ready to try again. Luke is going to be ecstatic.”
“I think so, too. Even though it’s been wonderful being here, he’s ready to move back to our place and have some privacy.”
Rachel glanced around the table at the empty plates. “I think it may be time for dessert. Lydia would you…” She didn’t finish, seeing Lydia’s face turn an odd shade of green, one hand on her mouth and the other on her stomach. Standing, she rushed over to her. “Are you ill?”
At first she shook her head, not wanting to ruin the day. When another wave of nausea hit, she nodded.
“Come on. Let’s get you to the bedroom. Ginny, would you mind serving the dessert? I’ll help Lydia, then come back out.” Rachel wrapped an arm around her, helping her down the hall and into her room. Lowering her to the bed, she grabbed a bowl from a nearby table. “Here. Use this.”
Lydia removed her hand from her mouth, shaking her head. “I’m already feeling better.” She glanced up at Rachel, her red face signaling her embarrassment. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”
Rachel folded her arms, not budging. “How long, Lydia?”
“How long what?”
Pulling up a chair, Rachel sat down. “I’m not leaving until you tell me what’s going on.”
Chapter Twelve
Lydia’s chest tightened, fear racing through her. Every day, she prayed the stomach pains would stop and her normal monthly would start. Neither happened. She didn’t need a doctor, or Rachel, to tell her she was with child. Raising a shaky hand, she stroked her short hair, not wanting to face the possibility she could be carrying White Buffalo’s child.
“Lydia, sweetheart. Let me help you.”
Tears filled her eyes. “My God, Rachel. What am I going to do?”
Reaching out, Rachel took Lydia’s hands in hers. “Is there a chance the baby could be Bull’s?”
Lydia thought back to their last night together in camp. The night before she left him behind, riding to the Crow camp to make the trade she knew would spare Sam and Mal.
“Yes.”
A rush of air escaped Rachel’s lips as she thought through the implications. “So the baby could be Bull’s.”
Nodding, Lydia sucked in a deep breath. “Or White Buffalo’s.” Covering her face, she did her best to hold back the tears. Instead, heart-wrenching sobs shook her body.
Rachel moved next to Lydia, taking her in her arms. “It will be all right.” She continued her soft, encouraging whispers, her own heart breaking at the injustice of what Lydia would be facing. Rachel couldn’t imagine the challenges her friend would have to deal with, the hard decisions she’d have to make.
> “Oh, Rachel…what am I going to do?”
Rachel found herself fighting her own tears. “I don’t know, honey, but you need to talk to Bull. You can’t keep this from him.”
Lydia pulled away, swiping away the dampness on her face. “I can’t believe this is happening. Not after the last few days with Bull. He doesn’t deserve this. He…” Her shoulders began to shake. Slapping a hand over her mouth to stifle another sob, she closed her eyes, feeling the urge to retreat back into the shell she’d created weeks before.
“Bull will stand by whatever you decide, Lydia. Let him be strong for both of you.”
“No, Rachel. I can’t tell him. I just can’t.”
“Don’t forget how much he loves you. I know he won’t turn away.”
“You don’t understand. He hates White Buffalo. Bull will hate me if the baby isn’t his.” Her voice rose, agitation increasing with each sentence. “What kind of life will a Crow child have in Splendor? A child whose father has murdered whites and wishes nothing more than to force settlers to leave.”
“He took you as his wife. White Buffalo must not hate all whites.”
A bitter laugh escaped Lydia’s lips. “His pride allowed him no other decision. White Buffalo has no feelings for me, and I have no desire to ever see him again. He’s cruel and vile. If this is his child, White Buffalo must never know. I’ll make sure of it.”
Rachel’s brows drew together as she thought of what Lydia’s words meant. “What are you thinking?”
Standing, Lydia walked to the window, looking out at the beautiful vista, her gaze moving to Bull’s home not far away. If all had gone as planned, it was to become her home where they’d raise a family, be happy, and never leave Splendor. It had all changed when White Buffalo rode onto the ranch, stealing Sam away.
Placing a hand on her stomach, she thought of the life growing within her. Some women might try to find a way to end it, seeing it as a mistake. Not Lydia. And she knew she’d never be able to force White Buffalo’s child on Bull. It wasn’t fair to him. He deserved so much more, such as a wife who wasn’t tainted. She couldn’t take a chance of ruining his life any more than she already had.
She couldn’t tell Bull about the baby or her decision. Her only choice was to leave, and she knew the exact person who could help her.
“Rachel and Lydia went into town, Bull. I saw them leave not long after you took off with the men this morning.” Johnny cast a worried gaze at the foreman, not liking the anger he saw building on the other man’s face. “Should I have tried to stop them?”
“They’ve been gone all day?” Bull had left right after breakfast, returning in the late afternoon.
“Who’s been gone all day?” Dax walked up, followed by Luke.
“Rachel and Lydia. They went into town this morning.”
“What about Ginny?” Luke asked, turning to look at the house, smiling when he saw her walk out to greet him. They planned to move back to their own place after he and Dax finalized the purchase of the Frey ranch tomorrow. The sale had gone off without a hitch. Now they had to figure out the best way to work a ranch several miles from their own.
Shielding her eyes from the late afternoon sun, Ginny came toward them and walked into Luke’s arms. “I’m glad you’re back.”
Luke kissed the top of her head, giving thanks for the way she’d turned some imaginary corner to get back to the woman he remembered. “Is everything all right, Ginny?”
“I’m a little worried. Rachel and Lydia should have been back hours ago.”
“Maybe I should ride into town and find them.” Bull put his foot in the stirrup and swung into the saddle.
“Let me water Hannibal, then I’ll go with you.” Dax walked his horse to the trough, letting him drink, then tugged on the reins. “Let’s go.”
Watching them leave, Luke turned to Ginny, slipping an arm around her shoulders. “The trip to town came up pretty sudden, didn’t it?”
“I was helping Rachel with the breakfast dishes when she said Lydia needed to do something in town. She thought they’d only be gone a few hours.” She leaned her head on his shoulder as they took the steps up to the porch.
“Did Lydia seem all right? Bull said she’s been doing much better.”
“Up until a couple days ago, I would’ve agreed with him. She’s been so much better since they took their trip to the river. On Wednesday, when the women came to visit, it all changed.” Ginny looked up into Luke’s face, her eyes showing her worry. “I don’t know what happened, but whatever it was, I think it’s the reason she wanted to go into town.”
“I joined Lydia and Rachel for dinner. Rachel said something about waiting for a response to a telegram. She said they planned to visit Alison and Abby before going back to the ranch.” Suzanne glanced between Bull and Dax. “Why? Is something wrong?”
“They’ve been gone longer than we expected. Bull and I wanted to make sure they were all right.” Dax fingered the edges of his hat as his worry began to fade.
“It’s understandable given all you’ve been through the last couple months.” Suzanne glanced over their shoulders to a table in the corner where Nick sat alone, sipping his coffee. Her chest constricted at how he still hadn’t mentioned a word about forgetting their supper almost a week before. Shaking off the disappointment, she focused back on the men in front of her. “They’re probably up at Abby’s now. It’s been ages since Lydia has seen baby Gabriel.”
“We’ll head that way now. Thanks, Suzanne.” Dax settled his hat back on his head as he and Bull walked outside. “Something’s not right.”
“My feelings exactly.”
Bull had believed he and Lydia were over the worst until he’d stopped by the house for supper on Wednesday, finding her still in the bedroom, refusing to come out. She’d done the same Thursday, talking to him through the closed door, telling him she was ill. This morning, he’d left right after breakfast, not talking to her at all. When he’d asked Rachel about it, she’d deflected his concerns, telling him Lydia would be better in a few days and to give her time. The response hadn’t been what he wanted to hear.
They took the trail up to Noah and Abby’s house, Bull’s heart pounding when they reached the spot where he and Noah had been gunned down a few months earlier. He’d recovered in a much shorter time than his good friend. Noah still faced months of healing to recover the use of his right hand and arm.
“What do you think is going on?”
“I don’t know, Bull. Maybe nothing more than the two ladies getting away, visiting friends.”
“Why would either need to send a telegram?”
“Rachel sends a message to her parents once a month, sometimes more often. They’re getting older and she worries about them.”
Bull knew Dax was probably right. He didn’t need to pile more worry onto what he already felt for Lydia. Yesterday, she felt too ill to see him. Today, she felt good enough to ride a wagon into town and visit for the entire day. And she chose not to share her plans with him.
They spotted the Pelletier wagon the moment they emerged from the trail and into the open expanse of land around Noah and Abby’s house. They also saw Noah’s horse, Tempest, grazing outside the barn.
“Noah must be home.” Bull reined to a halt next to the front steps, anxious to get inside and speak with Lydia.
“While you were gone, he hired someone to work the livery for him. His recovery is going much slower than he hoped.” Dax joined Bull as they walked to the front door and knocked. “He’s spending more time around here, doing as much as he can.”
The door swung open, Abby’s face freezing in place when she saw Dax and Bull. “Well…um…what a nice surprise. Please, come inside.” She stepped aside, glancing behind her. “Lydia and Rachel are inside with Gabriel.”
Bull followed Dax into the living room, coming to a stop when he saw Lydia bouncing Gabriel on her lap. The smile she had for the boy disappeared when she spotted him, causing Bull’s stomach to plu
mmet.
“We were wondering where you two had gone.” Dax walked up to Rachel, bending down to kiss her cheek. “It’ll be dark soon.”
Rachel sent a quick look at Lydia before standing to put her arm through Dax’s. “The day must have gotten away from us. It appears I should be leaving.”
“With Lydia.” Bull didn’t take his gaze off hers. The hairs on the back of his neck prickled when she looked away, but not in time for him to miss the sadness on her face.
“Lydia will be staying with Noah and me for a few days.” Abby sat next to Lydia, clasping her hands in her lap. “It’s been too long since she’s had a chance to visit with Gabriel.”
Noah walked in through the back. He started to greet them until he saw the way everyone stared at Bull and the confused look on his face.
Bull took a few hesitant steps toward Lydia. “Is that true? You want to stay here?”
Nodding, she handed Gabriel to Abby and stood. Her heart broke at the apprehension in Bull’s eyes. She loved him so much, knowing he felt the same. No matter how she tried to come up with a better solution to what fate had handed her, she couldn’t. And until she knew the father of her child, she’d keep her pregnancy from Bull.
“Abby’s right. I’ve been away a long time and Gabriel has grown so much. I’d like to stay a few days, maybe a week.” She walked up to him, placing her hands against his chest. “You don’t mind, do you?”
Clasping her hands, he shook his head. “Not if it’s what you want, although I’d rather have you at the ranch with me.”
“I know, Bull. And I’d rather be with you, too.” She glanced at Rachel, knowing she understood Lydia’s dire situation, even if Abby didn’t. “It’s just a short time. I’ll be back before you know it.”
A hard knocking on the front door stopped Bull’s response.
“Let me see who it is.” Abby opened the door to find Bernie Griggs, who operated the local Western Union office, standing outside.
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