Luke nodded, feeling a wave of compassion for his friend. He’d just been given news no man should hear. “Do you still love her?”
“Hell yes. I’ll always love Lydia.”
“Then you’ll figure this out and do what you believe is best. That’s all any man can do.” Luke tossed Dax his hat. “Come on. You need food to go with the whiskey, and so do we. I’ll even buy you another bottle if you need it.”
“I’m not up for going downstairs.”
“Suzanne’s sending our meals to the Dixie. Any more excuses?” Luke clasped Bull’s shoulder. “Let’s go. You need to get out of here. You’ll have plenty of time to be alone and decide what to do.”
“And if I decide I’m not up to raising another man’s child?”
“Then Dax and I will accept it. What we won’t accept is you leaving Redemption’s Edge. You’re family, Bull, and family deals with their troubles together.”
Chapter Fourteen
San Francisco, California
Lydia woke to a knock on her door. After retreating to her room, she’d wept until finally falling asleep. She’d meant to take a short nap, but the lack of sunlight streaming through her bedroom window indicated it had to be close to suppertime.
“Lydia…are you awake?”
Pushing to a sitting position, Lydia ruffled her short locks. “Yes, Caro. Please, come in.” Walking to a nearby table, she poured water into a bowl, dampening a hand towel to wash her face.
Caroline Iverson swept into the room, not surprised to see Lydia’s puffy eyes and tear-stained cheeks. “Are you feeling any better?”
“Somewhat.” She turned to face Caro, a beautiful widow who’d grown up in New York. Gabe Evans had been a childhood friend, inviting her to visit Splendor when he learned her wealthy husband had passed away. Although she loved the small town, meeting Beau Davis, a man she cared a great deal about, nothing had changed her mind about continuing her journey to San Francisco.
“It’s going to take time to settle in and get used to a large city.”
“And to put thoughts of Bull behind me.”
“My dear, no one expects you to forget Bull. In fact, Isabella and I are hopeful the future will be kind to you, allowing you to return to Splendor and marry him.” Caro walked to the wardrobe, pulling open the door to select a lovely evening dress.
Lydia had made no secret of the reason she’d made the difficult decision to leave Splendor. Almost a month had passed since she and Isabella had left on the stage to Ogden, Utah, taking the train the rest of the way to the large city on the Pacific Ocean. Not a second went by that she didn’t think about Bull and wonder if she’d made a drastic mistake.
“It’s time we went out for a special supper, and this is the perfect dress.” Laying it on the bed, she turned to choose matching evening slippers. “I’ve asked my driver to have the carriage ready in an hour. Will that give you enough time or shall I tell him later?”
Lydia had no desire to dine in an opulent restaurant, such as Delmonico’s, one of Caro’s favorites. A quiet supper in her room fit Lydia’s mood better.
“An hour is fine. Where are we going?”
“Isabella wants to go to one of the French rotisserie restaurants. It’s not fancy, but I hear the food is excellent. And there’s a small theatre company next door. They’re performing a comedy that has gotten wonderful reviews.” She sent a pointed, yet kind look at Lydia. “I thought a few laughs would do all of us some good.”
“You must miss Beau terribly.” Lydia slipped off her day dress, running a brush through her hair. Although still short by current fashion, it had grown to where it no longer stuck out beneath her bonnet.
Lydia watched as Caro fiddled with the fabric of her dress, a habit she resorted to when someone mentioned Beau’s name. Letting out a deep sigh, Caro sat on the edge of the bed, watching as Lydia continued to style her hair.
“He is a wonderful man. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss him.”
Setting the brush down, Lydia turned to face her. “Then why did you leave?”
“Sometimes I wonder the same. The truth is, Beau and I couldn’t be more different. He loves Splendor, the small town where everyone knows everybody else. He prefers a quiet supper in a family restaurant, an evening walk down the boardwalk, or a ride in the country. Big cities hold no appeal to him.”
“And you prefer the bustle and action of a large town.”
Caro let her gaze drift out the window to the magnificent view of the San Francisco Bay. “I grew up with servants, a carriage always waiting, dressmakers, and fancy restaurants. One reason I like Delmonico’s so much is my father, and then my late husband, took me to the original one in New York for special occasions. Until arriving in Splendor, I don’t believe I ever spent a birthday anywhere else since I turned thirteen. But…”
Lydia waited, giving Caro time to continue. She suspected her friend had come to doubt her decision to leave Splendor, but Caro had never come out and said as much.
“It may sound strange, coming from a woman with my background, but I’ve come to realize how much I miss the Montana wilderness.”
“And a certain man.”
Standing, Caro laughed, placing a hand on Lydia’s shoulder. “Yes. And a certain man.”
Hearing the door click shut, Lydia glanced at herself in the mirror. The young woman filled with expectations of a wonderful future had vanished. In her place, she saw a woman old beyond her years with a drawn face and eyes filled with deep sadness. Touching a shaky hand to her chin, she winced, knowing Bull saw the same when he looked at her. The shy, happy girl he’d fallen in love with had been replaced by a woman who doubted her own worth, who had lost the ability to smile.
Placing a hand on her stomach, she forced away the negative thoughts. Soon, her condition would be obvious to everyone she met. They’d expect her to be happy, looking forward to the baby’s arrival. They’d ask about the father, and Lydia would repeat the story she, Caro, and Isabella had invented—her husband had work in Montana, planning to join her before the baby’s birth. If only it were true, Lydia thought as she slipped on the evening dress, preparing to put on her best smile, transforming into an actress as good as the ones who’d be on the stage tonight.
Redemption’s Edge
Bull rolled over in his bed, grasping his head in both hands as the effects of downing a full bottle of whiskey took control. Sitting up, he groaned at the folly of the night before.
After several nights of solitary misery in town, he’d returned to the ranch, picking up his work without a hitch, ending almost every night with a bottle of whiskey on the table. He’d rarely drank before Lydia left him. It had now become a ritual, a way to make it through each night without her image haunting him. Standing, he made his way to the stove, planning to start a pot of coffee, then winced when a loud knock sounded at the door.
“Bull, Dax and Luke want to see you.”
Blowing out a breath, he turned to a chair where he’d recklessly thrown his clothes the night before. “Thanks, Travis. Let them know I’ll be right there.”
“Sure thing, boss.”
Bull snorted. He didn’t deserve to be called boss with the way he’d been acting. Even though he’d made the decision to return to the ranch and his job, the men went through their day with little direction from him. It was probably why Dax and Luke wanted to see him—to tell him they gave his job to Travis and it was best if he moved on.
Slipping on his pants and shrugging into a clean shirt, he grabbed his boots. His movements were slow, deliberate. He could control how he went about his day, but couldn’t do the same with his confused thoughts about Lydia.
Bull knew he’d surprised Luke and Dax when he hadn’t been able to say he’d accept the baby regardless of the father. It had nothing to do with his love for Lydia. The way his heart ached all day and every night, he doubted any man could love a woman more. His hesitancy had everything to do with his own shortcomings, his doubt as to whe
ther he’d truly be able to accept a child created by the union of Lydia and White Buffalo.
Strapping on his gunbelt, he checked his revolver, holstered it, then started for the door, walking into the sunlight. Ginny’s sister, Mary, came running up to him, throwing her arms around his leg and tugging.
“Come with me, Uncle Bull. Me and Margaret are playing cowboys and Indians. You can be the Indian.” She placed a hand over her mouth, giggling, tugging his leg harder. At seven, Mary still had a vivid imagination, a love for life, and a never-ending supply of energy.
Bending, he scooped her up in his arms. “I’d like to play with you, but I need to meet with Dax and Luke. Maybe later, after I get my work done.”
Her eyes locked with his before she sighed. “Oh, all right.” Then her eyes lit up. “We might play nurse with Aunt Rachel later. You could be the patient.”
Bull shook his head, thinking he’d need to stay out on the range longer than anticipated today. “Maybe, sweetheart.” Setting her down, he brushed some dirt from her cheek. “You have fun today, and don’t get in too much trouble.”
Waving, she ran off, all thoughts of Bull already forgotten.
Luke let go of the curtain and turned to Dax. “There isn’t a man on this ranch who loves children more than Bull.”
“True.” Dax didn’t look up from the papers on his desk. They had to make some decisions on the old Frey spread sooner than anticipated. Although a great piece of property, it took over an hour to ride from one ranch to the other, assuming the weather was clear.
“He’d make a great father.”
“That he would.” Dax scratched some notes, then continued reading. He and Luke wanted to move their horse breeding operation to the new property, but that would mean sending Travis over there. They’d planned for Bull to move into the original Frey ranch house, but they couldn’t have them both over there. Rubbing his brow, he leaned forward, trying to come up with another solution.
“Lydia told Ginny they hoped to have three, maybe four children. She said Bull wanted a lot more, but she put her foot down.”
Dax sat back, frustrated at Luke’s constant prattling. “What is it you’re trying to tell me?”
Luke crossed his arms, irritated Bull’s dilemma didn’t seem to concern his brother. “It’s been almost a month since Lydia left and he’s still struggling with what to do. I thought he’d come to his senses and be on his way by now.”
“Is that what you would do if it had been Ginny taken by the Crow? Ginny who’d been with White Buffalo?” Dax stood, leaning against the edge of his desk. “I know what you’re saying, but he’s in a helluva spot. I’m thinking the more time he takes, the more certain he’ll be of his decision.”
A knock on the door stopped further discussion, but not the warning look Dax shot Luke. “Come on in, Bull.”
“Dax, Luke. Travis said you wanted to talk to me. If this is about how I’m handling Lydia’s leaving me…”
Dax shook his head. “It’s not. What you decide is up to you. There’ll be no judgment one way or another. Although, I have to tell you, Rachel wants Lydia back here no matter who the baby’s father is.”
Bull knew he’d been given a warning. If Rachel wanted Lydia back here, she’d move mountains to make it happen. “I haven’t figured it all out yet. Doesn’t mean I won’t go after her.”
Luke studied his friend’s face, seeing the fatigue and flashes of pain. They’d worked together most of the time since Bull returned to the ranch, talking little of Lydia’s departure. Today, he could see the dire toll it took on the man.
“Understood.” Dax moved back behind the desk, glancing down at the papers on the Frey ranch. “We’re thinking of moving the horse breeding to the Frey place. If we do, it means Travis will have to move over there.”
“And I’d stay here,” Bull added. “I’ll do whatever is best for the ranch.”
“If you have no real objection, Luke and I think it best to go ahead with moving Travis over there. He’d need three men, which we’d let him choose. Anyone you don’t want to lose?”
“Billy’s hankering to work with the horses, so he’d be a good choice to go with Travis. I’d like Tat and Johnny to stay here. They’re good with the cattle.”
Bull walked to the window, watching as Mary ran around the front of the barn, glancing behind her as Margaret came whooping up from behind. Cowboys and Indians, he thought, shaking his head. He felt as if his life had become a game he didn’t know how to play.
“Sounds good. Luke, would you let Travis know. Other than Tat and Johnny, he can pick two men to go with him—assuming Billy does want to work with horses.”
“Bull’s right. Billy won’t have any issue working with Travis. Other than Bull,” Luke nodded toward him, “I don’t believe there’s another man he admires more.”
A bitter snort left Bull before he could stop it. “Billy’s got a lot to learn. Travis will make a good teacher.”
“You know, he’s struggling almost as much as you with Isabella leaving.”
Bull rounded on Luke, his gaze narrowing. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Holding up his hands, palms out, Luke backed off. “Nothing, Bull. It just occurred to me that Beau, Travis, and you all have women in San Francisco, and none of you are happy about it.”
“Isabella will be coming home before the first snow. I have no idea what Caro is planning. And Lydia…” His eyes took on a glazed look, indicating his struggle. “If Rachel has her way, Lydia will be coming back after the baby is born. None of it concerns you.” Bull stormed to the door and pulled it open. “I’ve got work to do. I’ll see you later tonight.”
Luke winced as the door slammed shut. “Guess I should’ve kept my mouth shut.”
Dax shook his head, his mouth twisting into a wry grin. “Guess so.”
“You doing all right?” Dirk rode alongside Bull, feeling the agitation rolling off him. Everyone knew to keep their distance the last few weeks, and they all understood why.
“Doing fine. Just wish we could figure out who’s taking the cattle and where they’re keeping them. Two this week, three last, and three the week before. Feels as if they’re bleeding us.”
“Bleeding us is exactly what they’re doing. You said Gabe mentioned no one else has complained of missing cattle, right?”
Bull nodded, taking off his hat to slide a sleeve across his forehead.
Dirk thought a moment, as if weighing his words. He didn’t speak much, but when he did, all the men listened, including Dax and Luke.
“I’m thinking you, me, and about four more men set up a trap, see if we can catch whoever’s rustling the cattle.”
Bull reined Abe to a stop. “I’m listening.”
“We move all except a dozen head to the west pasture. We keep the small group on the east border, closer to where we’ve been missing cattle. Let them graze, wander a little. All the while, we stay back a ways, but close enough to watch. Stay as long as needed until whoever’s doing this shows up or we give up and herd them back with the others.”
Bull thought over the idea. Dirk was the foreman for the east side of the ranch where Luke and Ginny’s house was located. Bull handled the west side where Dax and Rachel lived. It had always been an odd situation, yet each man respected the other enough to work together for the good of the ranch.
“Anything is better than watching the herd shrink without any idea why. When do you want to start?”
“If Dax and Luke approve, we cut the small group from the herd tonight. It’s been four days since we last noticed missing cattle. I reckon it’s about time for them to try to take some more.”
Bull grinned. “Except this time, they’ll get a little more than they bargained for.”
Dirk shifted in his saddle. “Do you want to ride back and talk to the bosses? I can stay here with the men.”
“Naw. You go ahead.” Bull had no desire to get back into it with Luke. He loved the man like a brother, but the younge
r Pelletier sometimes pushed too hard. Right now, Bull didn’t want to be pushed, shoved, or nudged. He needed time to clear his head, which meant no more whiskey until he figured out what to do about Lydia. Staying out on the range a few nights sounded real good.
“I’ll bring you back some whiskey.” Dirk raised his brow and grinned, riding off.
Bull grimaced. He guessed everyone at the ranch knew how he’d been spending his nights, his mind numb from too much whiskey. “Guess I’ll have to put a bullet through it if you do,” he shouted back, hearing Dirk laugh as he disappeared down a slope in the valley.
Riding toward the rest of the men and the herd, he thought again of Lydia. Last night, his restless, alcohol-fogged brain had conjured up an image of her holding a baby, rocking it in a chair as another man stood behind her. The baby’s hair was black, face a golden brown—White Buffalo’s child. Yet the man standing behind her wasn’t the Crow warrior. He was white with blond hair, his hand resting on Lydia’s shoulder. Bull couldn’t see the man’s face as he leaned down to press a kiss to Lydia’s cheek.
Bull had woken with a start, his body covered in sweat, his breathing ragged. On a normal night, he’d have two or three dreams, remembering none of them. Last night, he remembered each painful detail. Lydia had chosen another man over Bull, one who had the courage to raise the Crow child as his own. Or, as Bull thought later, she’d taken someone else because he had refused to step forward, share his love with both Lydia and the baby. Either way, the dream left him unsettled, lying awake the rest of night, imagining all kinds of scenarios as he stared at the ceiling. None gave him comfort.
Maybe tonight, on the open range under the summer stars, he’d find some peace, maybe come closer to a decision about his future. Feeling torn in a million pieces had grown old. He needed to make a decision, and it had to be made soon.
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