“From the look on your face, I assume she means a great deal to you.”
He nodded. “I’m sorry, Suzanne. I should have told you before now. She does mean a great deal to me.”
She tried to keep her features still as her stomach clenched. “Are you going to tell me who she is?”
“She’s a young woman I care about very much. Someone I want to get to know better.” He leaned forward, taking both her hands in his. “Her name is Olivia. She’s my daughter.”
Chapter Nineteen
Bull twisted the leather strap between his fingers as he watched the scenery rush past from his seat in the stagecoach. They’d been cooped up in this coffin on wheels for days. He’d been ready to get off after the first twelve hours.
He’d never felt comfortable without his horse nearby, giving him the ability to control where he went and when. Instinctively, his hand moved to the gun strapped to his waist, the feel of the handle giving him comfort. He glanced at his rifle resting on the seat next to him. It and his revolver were as much a part of him as his boots.
He and Dax had been alone in the jarring coach for most of the trip, allowing the long-legged men room to stretch out. Dax had filled his time reading, jotting numbers in a journal, or doing his best to nap. Although his body craved it, Bull found it hard to sleep…or take his mind off Lydia. Since the moment Dax told him they’d be leaving, Bull couldn’t push images of her from his mind. At some point, he’d decided he didn’t want to.
“Ogden ahead!”
Bull and Dax sat up at the guard’s announcement, grabbing their rifles. Neither had been to Ogden, a growing town of over twenty-five hundred. The opening of the railroad had doubled the population, and more people were expected to settle in the area as the west continued to expand.
“Here you are, gents.” The driver tossed them each a bag. “Where are you staying?”
“Hotel Ogden.” Dax leaned down, clutching the bag as he looked around.
“It’s a couple blocks that way.” The driver pointed down the street. “Railroad is on past it.”
Dax tossed the man a coin. “Appreciate it.”
They didn’t draw much attention as they took the boardwalk to their hotel. A town built on farming, ranching, and the Mormon faith, they didn’t notice much difference between Ogden and Splendor, other than the size.
“We have time for a drink?” Bull stopped in front of the nearest saloon.
Dax answered by moving past him and pushing open the door, taking a place at the bar. Bull wedged his way between Dax and an older man, setting his bag on the ground between his legs.
“Two whiskeys.” Dax held up two fingers to the bartender.
“I don’t believe I’ve seen either of you in here before.”
Dax and Bull turned at the husky feminine voice, seeing a woman almost as tall as them, with flaming red hair, her dress drawn up in front.
“My name’s Ava Glenn. I own this place.” She nodded at the bartender as he set glasses on the bar for Dax and Bull. “Where you boys from?”
“Montana,” Dax answered, tossing back the whiskey.
Bull did the same, letting his gaze wander around the large room, then up the stairs. Larger than the Dixie or Wild Rose, it couldn’t match the style Nick and Lena had brought with them from New Orleans.
Ava looked them up and down without a shred of shame. “You two see anything you want, let me know. I’m certain I can accommodate you.”
I doubt that, Bull thought, holding his glass toward the bartender for another pour. Ava sashayed away, the sight making no impression on him.
“I could use a bath before supper.”
“I’m with you, Bull.” Dax picked up his bag, making his way outside. “We meet with the commandant of Fort Douglas tomorrow. He isn’t happy with the quality of horses he’s getting.”
Bull stopped, turning to face him. “Are you thinking of driving horses this far south?”
Dax laughed. “Might be…if the price is right. Could be they need better beef. Either way, it’s worth a meeting.”
Bull blew out a frustrated breath. The delay would add one more day to their trip. Another day before he could locate Lydia and force her to admit what she’d been too ashamed to tell him earlier.
San Francisco
“When will the doctor arrive?” Lydia took a seat next to Caro, who didn’t glance up from her needlepoint.
“About ten minutes less than the last time you asked.”
Isabella bit back a smile. “She’s nervous, Caro. The same as I would be. It’s not as if any of us have had a baby.”
Setting down the embroidery, Caro sighed. “True. It’s a bit stressful for all of us. I do wish there were women doctors for this type of thing.”
“There are some.”
“Apparently not in San Francisco, Isabella. Or they aren’t familiar to the women I’ve met. All have male doctors. Do you care, Lydia?”
She took a moment to answer. The only times she’d seen a doctor in the past was for an illness or injury. Doc Worthington had always been wonderful.
“I never thought about it. Fact is, I’ve never met a woman who was all that interested in medicine…except maybe Rachel. All I ask is for the doctor to be competent.”
“I do believe a cup of tea would be perfect right now.” Caro walked to the door, spoke to her housekeeper, then sat back down. “How do you feel, Lydia? You haven’t mentioned being sick in the longest time.”
“It’s been weeks since I felt ill.” She settled both hands on her expanding stomach. “I believe the baby is about four months along, maybe more.” She prayed it was more. Counting back, it had been at least six months since the first time Bull had made love to her, weeks before she’d made the decision to ride into the Crow camp. If she were lucky…
“Mrs. Iverson, Dr. McLean is here.”
“Please, show him in.” Caro waited until the housekeeper left, then stood. “It appears we won’t have time for our tea after all.”
“From what I can tell, you appear to be close to six months along, Mrs. Mason.”
Lydia cringed at the use of Bull’s last name…the name Caro had given the doctor when he arrived. The news, however, caused her breath to catch and her eyes to grow wide.
“Do you really believe it’s been almost six months?”
“I do. It’s a miracle you are still so slim.”
“Is that a problem?”
“Not at all, Mrs. Mason. Some women don’t show much until the last few months. Appears you may be one of them.” Standing, he picked up his bag before hearing a quiet sob. “Are you all right, Mrs. Mason?”
Lydia bent forward, placing one hand on her stomach and another over her mouth. A moment later, she saw the white handkerchief he held out, snatching it from him.
“Thank you. I don’t know what’s happening to me. It seems so foolish. I never used to cry, and now it seems it’s all I do.”
Gavin knelt down in front of her, taking one of her hands in both of his. “Would you like me to get Mrs. Iverson?”
“No, please. I just need a minute. Besides, Caro and Isabella will only worry if they see me crying again.”
Clasping her hand firmly, he held her gaze. “It’s quite normal for a woman who’s expecting to be more emotional than normal. I can’t truly explain it as I don’t understand the reasons.”
Smiling as she tried to swipe away her tears, Lydia glanced away, then back at him, her face still flushed with embarrassment.
“It’s all right. I feel better knowing I’m not some silly woman.”
“Oh, I doubt that’s even possible, Mrs.—”
The door burst open as Caro dashed inside, her gaze darting to Lydia, then over her shoulder to whomever stood behind her. “Lydia…” Her voice trailed off as their visitor pushed past her and stepped into the room.
Bull stopped, his face hardening at the sight before him. A man kneeling in front of his woman, holding her hand.
“
Bull!” Lydia stood, forgetting the doctor, focusing on the angry man before her. “You came for me.”
Taking his gaze off the other man, Bull glared at her. “Did you think I wouldn’t?”
Gavin stood, trying to understand what was going on in front of him. Straightening to his full height of close to six feet, he stepped forward, extending his hand.
“I’m Doctor McLean.”
Bull glanced at the outstretched hand, deciding it best to accept it. “Bull Mason.”
Gavin’s eyes widened in understanding. “Ah, you’re the husband.”
Bull couldn’t keep his gaze off Lydia. She’d grown even lovelier since he’d last seen her, and even though still slim, the fact she carried a child was obvious—at least to him. Watching her uneasy gaze shift between him and Dr. McLean became increasingly difficult as the time dragged on. He ached to hold her, tell her how much he’d missed her, and assure her any fears she had were unwarranted.
“I’m so glad you’ll be able to be with your wife when the baby comes. She and Mrs. Iverson mentioned your work in Montana might keep you away for some time.”
Bull didn’t shift his gaze from Lydia, who seemed to squirm under his scrutiny. “Doctor, nothing is more important to me than my wife and our baby.”
Gavin nodded. “As I was about to tell Mrs. Mason, it’s important for her to rest and not overdo.” He stood, picking up his bag. “Perhaps you and I should speak in private.”
When Lydia began to protest, Bull held up his hand, silencing her.
“Whatever you have to say may be said in front of Lydia.”
A slight blush crept over Gavin’s face as he looked at her and the other two women. “Very well. It’s unusual for a woman to have a baby without anyone around who has helped deliver a child before. It may be different where you come from, but in San Francisco, most women have other, more knowledgeable women who can stay with them as the date approaches.”
“I’ll be with her.”
“Perhaps I wasn’t clear. I’m talking about someone who’s helped deliver a baby, in case I’m unable to get here right away or you don’t make it to the hospital in time.”
“You’ve been clear, Doctor McLean. I have experience.” Bull couldn’t miss the skeptical looks of the women or the doctor. “Besides delivering two of my cousins, I helped with a delivery near a battle during the war. The circumstances weren’t good, but the baby and mother made it. The fact we’re close to you and a hospital is a luxury. I won’t let anything happen to my wife.” He glanced at Lydia on the last word. They needed to talk. To do that, he needed to get the good doctor to leave. Bull cast a pleading look at Caro, hoping she understood.
“Doctor McLean, we appreciate you being here. I do believe it is time for Lydia to eat and take her nap. As you said, she needs rest.”
“How true, Mrs. Iverson.” He extended his hand to Bull. “Please, don’t hesitate to send someone for me if anything happens.”
Bull engulfed the man’s hand with his larger one. “Trust me, Doc. I won’t.”
“Wonderful. Mrs. Mason, it was a pleasure meeting you.”
Bull didn’t miss the sweep of Gavin’s appreciative gaze over Lydia. “I’ll walk you to the door.” Moving his body between Lydia and the doctor, his movements gave Gavin little choice but to leave. “Thanks again, Doc.”
Closing the entry door, Bull rested fisted hands on his hips and took a deep breath. Sensing everything he wanted was within his grasp, he returned to the parlor, taking Caro’s elbow and escorting her into the hall, ignoring Lydia’s surprised look.
“How soon can you get a minister here?” he whispered.
Caro’s eyes narrowed. “Have you spoken with Lydia about this?”
“Do I need to?” His thick sarcasm had her taking a step back. “She calls herself Mrs. Mason and acknowledges me as her husband. Do you truly think she will refuse an actual marriage?”
Caro glanced over her shoulder to the closed door of the parlor. She didn’t want to betray Lydia, yet Bull was right. It would only be a matter of days before word spread about Lydia’s husband joining her in San Francisco. Keeping up appearances had always been important to Caro and, by extension, those living under her roof.
“All right, Bull. I’ll send my driver out with a message to the reverend at the church I attend. I hope he will agree to come here post-haste. Do you have a ring?”
Slipping his large hand into the pocket of his trousers, he pulled out a simple gold band.
The lines on Caro’s face softened in relief. “You did come here to marry her.”
Bull shook his head. “I came here to take her home so we could marry. Seems not much I plan lately is working out.”
Caro rested her hand on his arm. “Love has an odd way of smoothing out the most difficult times, Bull. Lydia loves you, and it’s obvious you love her. This is all going to work out—I can feel it.”
Bull snorted. “I sure do wish I felt the same. For now, I’ll be happy with a minister and a marriage.”
She leaned up and kissed his cheek. “You go back to Lydia. Isabella and I will take care of your wedding. Is there anything else?”
Bull thought a moment, then smiled. “Get word to Dax. He’s at the Clayton Hotel. Make sure he gets here by the time the minister arrives.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll make sure he’s here. You have my word.”
Lydia stood by the window, her hands clasped in front of her as she stared out at the bay. The churning water mimicked the way she felt—agitated and unsettled. She didn’t know what Bull would say once he returned from talking to Caro, and could only imagine the shock he felt at being introduced as her husband. He’d taken it well, fallen into the role without a flinch, which gave her some hope.
Isabella had gone to prepare tea, providing words of encouragement before she left, giving Lydia a few moments alone.
Hearing the door open and close, she assumed Isabella had returned. “I don’t know what to do, Isabella.” When Lydia didn’t get a response, she turned, a hand coming to rest on her stomach when she saw Bull leaning against the closed door.
As much as he wanted to go to her, Bull didn’t say a word. His intense gaze studied her, noticing the way her hands shook and her eyes clouded over. He didn’t see tears, only intense emotion as the minutes ticked by. Pushing away from the door, he couldn’t miss the way she flinched, her body stiffening at his approach.
He cocked his head, stopping a few feet away. “I’d never hurt you, Lydia.”
“I know, Bull. You’ve always made me feel safe.” She lifted a hand to her chest, feeling the intense pain in the area of her heart. It had grown into a dull ache over the weeks they’d been apart. Now it had returned in full force, making it hard to breathe. Lydia stared at the ground, unable to meet his gaze.
“This isn’t easy for me.” He swept a hand around the room filled with expensive furnishings and irreplaceable art. “It’s hard, coming here after you left without a word of explanation. Is it that you truly prefer living in a place like this instead of my small house on the ranch? Was this a way to get far away from the little I could provide?”
She lifted her head, seeing raw hurt in his eyes. “No! I love your house and the ranch.” She took a step forward. “And I love you.”
He didn’t go to her, unsure if he could trust what he’d say.
“I know now it was wrong to leave without telling you about the baby.”
“You didn’t trust me.” He took a tentative step forward, arms held out, palms up. “Did you think I’d abandon you?”
She shook her head. “No. It wasn’t that.” Her voice had lowered to the point he had to strain to hear her.
He continued forward, stopping a foot away to see her lower lip quiver before she lowered her head. “Then tell me. What made you run?”
The sob rose suddenly, followed by another, her hands coming up to cover her face. “I’m sorry. So very sorry.”
Going to her, Bull wrapped Lyd
ia in his arms, stroking her hair as her body shuddered. “It’s going to be all right, sweetheart. I’m here now, and I’m not leaving.” Moving her to the sofa, he sat down, pulling her onto his lap. “Cry it out, then we’ll talk.”
It took several minutes for her to calm enough to talk without her voice breaking. Lydia sat up, wrapping her arms around his neck, resting her head on his shoulder.
“Say it, Lydia. Just say it.”
She hesitated a moment before the words came out. “The baby may not be yours.”
“I know.”
Straightening, she stared into his eyes. “You know? How could you?”
He would’ve smiled if their situation weren’t so serious and if she didn’t hurt so much.
“Did you think I believed White Buffalo wouldn’t make you his or that nothing would happen within the privacy of his tipi?” He sucked in a shaky breath, desperately trying to rid his mind of the image of Lydia with the Crow warrior. “I knew what would happen. It’s why I didn’t want you anywhere near his village.”
She nodded. Of course Bull would’ve known. She’d been foolish to think otherwise. “Did you know about the baby before you came for me?”
“Yes.”
“How?”
“I’m not going to tell you, Lydia. I confess it took me a while to come to terms with the fact you didn’t trust me. It hurt to know you thought I’d abandon you, not want you as my wife.”
She winced at the intense pain on his face. “I never meant to hurt you. I only wanted to protect you.”
“From what?” Bull reached up and ran his fingers through her hair, noticing how much it had grown since he last saw her.
“What if the baby isn’t yours?”
“Then we’ll raise him as ours and give him plenty of brothers and sisters who’ll also love him.”
Her eyes widened before a timid smile turned up the corners of her mouth. “What if it’s a girl?”
“Then she’ll have brothers and sisters to love, and I’ll have to scare away all the boys who’ll be after her.”
Promise Trail Page 18