by Pandora Pine
Rem nodded, grabbing the flyer from his favorite grocery store.
“What would you think of going new car shopping tomorrow?” Dec dropped into the chair next to Rem’s.
“Why? It’s not like I can drive anyway.” Rem was going to be in the cast for six week. What the hell sense did it make to buy a car now?
Dec shrugged. “I just thought it might be easier to get this taken care of now.”
Rem narrowed his eyes. “What do you mean, now? When I’m not at 100%?”
“This isn’t a witch hunt. I’m not out to get you.” He raked a hand through his coppery hair. “You’ll be out of work this week. I thought it would easier to do it now when we have a bit more free time. There’s still a month left to go in the school year.”
Rem opened his mouth to respond when the doorbell rang.
"I'll get it" Dec got up from the table.
"Well, duh!"
Declan sighed. "Gemmy? Dinner is here!"
Rem watched as Declan reached into his back pocket for his wallet before heading toward the front door. At the very least, Rem should offer to pay half. This welcome home night wasn't going at all like he hoped it would. He wanted to come home to a nice home cooked meal and be able to sit down later in his favorite recliner and go through all of his mail.
He'd been thrown off by all of the changes in his house over the week he'd been gone. It was like Declan had just taken over. Which of course he had, so that Gemma could have slept in her own bed and been surrounded by familiar things.
He should be thanking Declan for all he'd done to keep their family going while he'd been in the hospital, but he couldn't seem to push the words past his lips.
24
Thankfully Gemma had gone to sleep without an argument. She'd been doing so well with her new schedule, but Declan had been afraid having Rem home would throw her off that schedule.
Prince Grumpy Pants had stayed in the living room while he'd given Gemma her bath and read her three books. He'd been hoping that reading books about mice that ate cookies and moose that fancied muffins would help cool his anger against Rem, but now that he was about to walk out into the living room, he could feel that anger simmering below the surface. He'd done everything in his power to make Rem's homecoming a happy one and Rem had been a first-class dickhead. All he'd done since the moment he'd stepped his crutches in the door was bitch and moan.
Declan took a deep breath and prayed for the strength to control his temper. "Hey, can I get you anything?"
"Yeah, my house back." Rem didn't bother looking up from the letter he was reading.
"Excuse me?" What the hell was Rem talking about?
"You're damn right excuse you." Rem's dark eyes blazed with anger.
The kind, benevolent God who'd saved Rem's life was apparently not answering his prayer now. "I can't read your mind, Rem. If you're angry at something just tell me what it is."
"You took over the house while I was gone."
At least Rem was using his words. "Yes, I did. Gemma needed someone here to do laundry and cook dinner."
"So you'll cook for her and not for me?" Rem sounded like a petulant child who was overdue for a nap.
"Is that what this is about? That I didn't have a home-cooked meal ready for you when you came home, Ward Cleaver?"
Rem scowled at him.
So much for Rem using his words. "Today is Friday. It's my busiest day of the week to see students. Not to mention the fact that evaluations are coming up so that I can help parents plan what should be done with their kids over the summer. Then I had to pick Gemma up at Peg's and go food shopping. You were texting saying to come get you, so I only had time to come home and put the groceries away before I was off to get you at the hospital. There wasn't time to cook a meal."
Rem crossed his arms over his chest, but he still wasn't talking.
Dec felt like he'd aged ten years in the last week, what with the fear of losing Rem and playing Mr. Mom all week. Dealing with a grumpy and obviously angry Rem wasn't helping the situation. If they weren't in the middle of a fight, Declan could fall asleep where he was standing.
"Look, I know you're recovering. I'm sure it wasn't easy to be away from home and your job for a week. I'm sure it sucks not being able to walk without crutches or to need help pulling your pants down to take a leak. I know it sucks needing to deal with the insurance company and to even think about buying a new car. All I want to do is help you, Rem and you're treating me like the enemy." Declan sat down hard on the sofa. He had a sinking feeling this was going to be his bed for the night.
"Everything was moved," Rem mumbled.
"I moved the cat's bowls because I kept tripping over them when I got up from the table."
"What about moving the drying rack?"
God, Rem sounded like a cranky five-year-old. "I moved it so it would be easier for Gemma to reach when she was drying the dishes.”
"And that's another damn thing. What's with this chore chart?"
Declan laid down on the couch with his head resting on a navy throw pillow. He folded an arm over his eyes. "A lot of parents have told me that a chore chart helped with their kids who act out. They like the structure of knowing what was expected of them. Gemma has enjoyed getting stickers when she makes her bed, feeds Blackie and dries the dishes. She's been going to bed without complaint and hasn't been a diva in the morning because she knows she won't get a sticker if I can't get her out of bed."
Rem snorted. "She behaves fine for me."
Declan felt like he was holding on to the last shred of his patience. "Yes, Rem, she behaves fine for you, but you weren't here. You have no idea how hard this last week has been-"
"I have no idea how hard this week has been? Are you fucking kidding me? I spent the week in the hospital with my fucking head bashed in and a broken leg. All you did was play the happy housewife all week."
"Okay, Rem. Whatever you say." Dec got up and headed toward the bedroom. He knew it was a dick move walking away like that, especially since Rem couldn't chase him. All he wanted was a hot shower and to get some breathing room away from Rem.
Dec couldn’t help seeing the irony in the situation. All he wanted for the last two years was to be as close as possible to Rem. Right now, he wanted to be as far away as he could get.
XX
It took some effort, but Rem managed to finally make it to bed. Between maneuvering himself down the narrow hallway and in through the bedroom door, he was exhausted just getting into the room. He could see the shapeless lump that was Declan over on his side of their bed.
Rem felt a tug at his heart. All he’d wanted was for Declan to be back in this house and back in his bed and now he was. He knew he had ruined his homecoming with his dickish behavior.
The last thing he wanted to do was turn on the lights and wake Declan. He tried to move carefully toward the bed but thumped his left crutch against the bed frame. He heard Declan shift around. Figuring he’d already woken him up, he fell heavily onto the bed and laid his crutches down on the floor beside the bed.
The next hurdle was actually getting into bed with his damn cast. He slid his leg under the blankets while leaning to his right and nearly tipped off the side of the bed. Rem could feel his heart hammering in his chest.
It would have been easy to wake Declan and ask for a little help but Rem was too proud to do that. Being babied for a week in the hospital was all he could take. If he’d had to endure one more day of the pitying glances from the nurses, he would have lost his mind.
If he didn’t want pitying glances from the nurses, he sure as hell didn’t want them from Declan. He knew his boyfriend meant well, but he just couldn’t stand the thought of Declan not seeing him as the vibrant, self-reliant man he’d been a week ago.
Once he was settled on his back and his breathing had returned to normal, he turned his head to look at Declan. He was lying in his favorite position on his right side, so that his back faced Rem. In the dim light cast by the hall
nightlight, he could see Dec’s coppery hair just above the comforter.
Dec loved to sleep with the covers practically cocooned around himself. It was the reason they always fought over the covers. Lying here now, watching his lover sleep, Rem could see how petty he’d been to disturb Dec in the past. He should have just gotten another blanket.
Rem should have brought one of the throws in from the living room so he could have covered himself up in that. With his brain not working the way it had before the accident, he’d forgotten to grab one.
Doctor Cassiday mentioned he might have trouble with his short-term memory while his brain continued to heal. He’d been right. Rem hated the disconcerting feeling of not being able to remember things.
He couldn’t ever remember feeling this frustrated in his life. What he should do was poke Declan awake and spill his guts. Tell his man what was really going on with him and ask for help. For whatever reason, he just couldn’t do it.
The last two years he spent without Declan had been almost impossible to bear. There were times when he thought the crushing loneliness would kill him and other times he prayed it would.
Rem could feel tears coursing down his cheeks. It seemed like just when he and Declan were finally getting their shit together, again, something happened to rip them apart.
What if they weren’t meant to be together? What if Rem’s behavior tonight was pushing Declan to the point of walking away from good?
“Rem? Are you okay, babe?” Declan’s voice was thick with sleep.
“No, I’m not all right.” Fuck it, Rem thought. He was going to tell Declan the truth even if it killed him.
“Tell me what you need. Can I get you a bottle of water or a snack?”
“What I need is to be back at one hundred percent. I hate having a Swiss cheese short-term memory. I’m jealous of the changes I missed when you were here with Gemmy this week. I missed my kids at school.” Rem swiped angrily at his tears. It seemed like all he did lately was cry, which also pissed him off.
“Most of all, I feel like a complete and total dickhead for the way I treated you tonight. I love you so much. All I thought about all week in the hospital was how much I wanted to come home to you.”
Declan rolled over onto left side, pressing a kiss to Rem’s cheek. “I know it doesn’t always feel like it, but everything is going to be okay. The doctor said you are going to make a full and complete recovery, which in itself is miraculous. All we need now is a little patience.”
Rem snorted. “You sound like that Guns N’ Roses song.”
“Sometimes the poets of our age say things best.”
“You think Axl Rose is a poet?” Rem sounded surprised.
Dec laughed. “Yeah. His songs were killer, but so were the drugs that broke up the band. But, I digress. We have to take things one step at time with your recovery. I want to be here every step of the way, but with the way you were acting tonight, Rem, I just wanted to stab you with my dinner fork.”
“God, I was a total prick.”
“I’m glad to hear you say that, babe. You need to tell me when you’re feeling angry or frustrated. I’ll do everything I can to help you, but you gotta work with me here.”
“I promise.” Rem opened his arms and thankfully, Declan was all too eager to rest his head on Rem’s shoulder.
“This is paradise,” Declan sighed against Rem’s collarbone.
“Paradise? Are you sure you’re not the one with the head trauma? I’m lying here with my brains scrambled and my leg in a cast and you think this is paradise?”
Dec giggled against Rem’s shoulder. “I’m in bed cuddled up next to the man that I love. We may not be in Key West or Cabo sipping pina coladas, but anywhere you are is my paradise.”
Rem felt tears gathering at Declan’s words. He knew if he opened his mouth to agree with him, he’d start blubbering. Instead, he held Dec tighter and pressed a kiss to the top of his head.
25
Declan sat back in one of Peg and Mitch’s Adirondack chairs watching Gemma and Tucker being chased by Tucker’s puppy, Rex. Both kids were screaming with laughter.
Rem had been home from the hospital for a week and after their first bumpy night together, things had been smooth sailing for them. To celebrate Rem’s homecoming, the McKinnon’s had invited everyone over for a barbeque.
“Well there’s my boy!” Peg handed Declan a glass of iced tea and sat in the chair next to him.
Declan laughed. Ever since their little chat the morning before Rem’s accident, Peg had treated him like a second son. He had to admit it felt good having a family who loved and accepted him for who he was.
Peg seemed to be sizing him up. “You look like you’ve barely slept, kiddo.”
It was true. Ever since Rem had his accident, Declan hadn’t really gotten a good night’s sleep. He felt like he could sleep for days. There was just so much to do around the house and with Gemma, not to mention all the help Rem needed to do simple things like bathe and dress. “It’s been a rough week.”
“How is he doing? And don’t give me that bullshit stock answer you give everyone else.”
One thing was for certain, Peg had his number. “I’ve gotten used to taking care of his physical needs. We’ve got the sponge bath and washing his hair in the kitchen sink down to a science. The problem is with his short-term memory.”
“The doctor said that he’d have holes in his memory while his brain continued to heal, right?”
Dec nodded. “Right. We both knew this was going to happen, but it’s so hard to watch him struggle like that. Then I can see the frustration building and then he starts getting angry.”
“How are you dealing with that?”
“Mostly with bad jokes.” Over the last week, Dec would guess his sense of humor had saved his relationship with Rem about twenty times. He’d crack a stupid joke and could see the relief flood over Rem’s features.
“The good news is that it’s made you a stronger couple. It’s taken some time and a bit of stubbornness on both of your parts to get to this point in your relationship.”
“What point is that? The point of no return?” Dec snickered.
“That’s exactly it. You both know if you can survive this, you can survive anything. I’m so proud of you for sticking with him.”
“It means a lot to hear you say that.” Declan hadn’t realized how much he’d missed a mother’s love and support until Peg had adopted him into her brood.
“Tucker’s spending the night with us. Why don’t you leave Gemmy here too? That way you and Rem could find some time to get your grooves back.” Peg waggled her eyebrows at him.
Dec burst out laughing just as Rem hobbled outside, followed by Mitch, who was carrying a tray filled with raw hamburgers and hotdogs to go on the grill.
“What’s so funny?” Rem grinned, looking back and forth between Declan and Peg.
“If I tell you, it might scar you for life.”
“I’ll take my chances.” Rem hopped on one foot and managed to sit down, without falling down.
“Peg and Mitch want to keep Gemma tonight so that you and I can get jiggy with it.”
Rem started to laugh, covering his face with his hands.
“Us too!” Nash said, gleefully as he followed Bronson outside.
“I still can’t get over how open Peg is when it comes to S-E-X.” Dec grinned at Rem. “My birds and the bees speech from my mother was, ‘don’t stick your you-know-what in a girl’s you-know-where.’ Of course she didn’t say anything about not letting a boy stick his you-know-what in my you-know-where.”
“You realize I can never unhear that, right?” Ben came through the sliding door carrying a watermelon.
“Where’s Knox? Is he still in the house?” Nash asked.
“Didn’t realize I was his keeper,” Ben said, matter-of-factly. “Sorry, that was bitchy of me. I texted him a few times this morning and he didn’t answer me.”
“He didn’t want to come for
drinks with us on Friday night either. I’m worried about him.” Nash pulled out his phone.
“Worried about who?” Knox asked as he came outside with Bronson close on his heels.
“You. Christ, are you okay? You look like shit.” Nash appeared to be looking Knox over.
“Daddy!” Gemma shouted. “Mr. Spencer said a bad word!”
“Thanks, honey!” Rem grimaced and turned back to Nash. “Sorry about that. She’s turned into a regular little whistleblower.”
“Nash has a point, you look like you haven’t been sleeping. I’d like to help if I can,” Ben said quietly.
“I have been a bit out of sorts. One of my students said something to me on Friday and I still can’t get it out of my head.”
“Which student? What did he say? Did you follow our reporting guidelines?” Rem took a breath, sounding every bit like the principal he was.
“Slow down, Rem.” Ben grinned and sat across from Knox. His focus was on Knox. “Tell us what upset you.”
“It’s Milo Kemper.”
Declan didn’t know that name, but based on the look on Ben’s face, the pediatrician did. “What happened?”
“He said his aunt is going to put him up for adoption.”
“What!” Rem practically shouted. “I don’t understand. His aunt just adopted him. I can’t remember when, but it wasn’t that long ago.” He turned to Nash for help.
“She adopted him last year right before Thanksgiving. When we did our annual celebration at school, all the other kids said they were thankful for their X-box or their dog. Milo said he was thankful he wasn’t going to live in foster care.”
“I don’t understand.” Rem sounded confused.
Declan set a hand on his arm. Usually touching Rem helped to settle him down when he was struggling to remember something.
“Dec, I’m fine. I mean I don’t understand how Milo’s aunt could adopt him formally in November and want to sever that tie five months later. He’s a little boy, not a pair of pants you can return to the store.”