Something makes him stop and I rise up. He’s staring at my underwear, and all at once I’m embarrassed. They aren’t special: white cotton, standard issue from the group home with my initials on the inside. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I’m just…nervous. May I?”
The big bad Shark is nervous? It only makes me want him more.
I nod and he slides them off, easing them down my legs.
His fingers skim over my wet folds and I throw a pillow over my face. In the auditorium, we were so rushed, but this is slower and he’s right there…
“Don’t be shy now, Tulip. You’re so brave. Unless…unless you want me to stop?”
I whip the pillow off my face and throw it on the floor. “If you stop, I will kill you with a lightsaber. I have one in the closet. You wanna talk about a dark side? I’ve got one.”
“I’ve watched a few of them because of you,” he murmurs as his fingers dance over me, skimming over my mound, never quite hard enough, not nearly enough until he eases a finger inside me and I moan.
“Uhhhhhh, good.” I can’t breathe.
“Is this okay?” he rasps, and I nod, trying to move so I can touch him too, but he holds me back, so I wait and fall into bliss, my hips rising up against his fingers.
My breaths come in erratic pants and when I look at him, he’s intent on me.
“More?”
“You’re torturing me.” I don’t know why he’s even asking. I am his right now.
“How about more torture?”
“Lightsaber, remember? Don’t stop.”
He laughs and pulls me to the edge of the bed, gets on the floor on his knees, leans down, and holds my legs apart. Part of me feels vulnerable and nervous. I’ve never done this, never, and it’s with him and that means something special—
His head dips and my fingers grip the quilt on my bed, clawing at it when his slick tongue brushes lightly over my center, lingering on my bundle of nerves. He groans. “Tulip, you taste so good, like, like destiny…” He leans closer, his nose trailing up my inner thigh. “I want to consume you, eat you up so fast, but I’m trying to go slow…” Another long, slow lick up my center, and I shudder.
“Knox, Knox, that, that…” My chest heaves. “Ohhhhh…don’t stop!”
Cupping my bottom, he settles in and teases me, never quite enough pressure, his touch light and excruciatingly slow, swirling his tongue, wicked, so wicked as he draws intricate patterns on my clit, stoking the fire inside me hotter until I’m burning…
My body tightens, tension building at my spine.
His finger curls inside me, rubbing and stroking, and I can feel his breath on my skin, his tongue as he sucks—
Lights burst behind my shut lids. The universe becomes just him and me as sensations ripples across my skin.
“Knox!” I writhe underneath him, shameless as I press harder into him.
I’m boneless when he moves up and touches my face.
“You like?” He grins.
“That…that…when can we do it again?”
He throws his head back and laughs, satisfaction evident on the planes of his face.
And nothing matters. To see him laugh, to put joy there…being with him is so easy, and we laugh together, and I just…gah…I’m so close to falling—
“What are you doing to me,” he says when I reach up and kiss him hard and long, sucking on his tongue with a fast rhythm, imagining him fucking me to the same beat.
Without our mouths parting, I use my hands to push down his underwear. He’s thick and hard and long, his crown veiny and wet. I stare at him, getting a good look, nerves kicking in at how big he is even as my core clenches in anticipation. Wrapping my fingers around him, I stroke from his base to the tip, my thumb skating over the silky skin.
He groans, hovering over me. “Tulip, please…”
“Please what?”
“Harder.”
Increasing my pace, I pump him with long, firm strokes while he kisses me.
He gasps for air, his chest shuddering. “Condom. Do you—”
Before he can finish, I jump off the bed and dash to my chest of drawers. They’re two years old, but they’re there, thank you, in the top under my underwear. I grab one and whip around and he’s already up and behind me. With hands that tremble, he takes the package from me and rips it open with his teeth, his gaze never leaving my face. He slides it on and picks me up. My legs lock around his hips. Somehow we’re back on my bed and he’s on top of me.
Slowly, he rises above me and teases my entrance. His face is flushed and small beads of sweat dot his brow.
“So good…” I exhale. “Don’t hold back, Knox, please…”
His hands clench around my waist as he strokes in all the way, stretching me, the fullness tight. He stops and holds me, clutching me.
“What’s wrong?”
“I…haven’t been with anyone in a while,” he growls.
I smile, remembering our conversation at Lou’s. He was waiting on me.
“Are you going to come too soon?” I tease.
He huffs, slides back out, and enters me again, swiveling his hips, getting a new angle that makes me shiver. “No. I’m going to fuck you till you see stars, Tulip.”
“Always wanted to see the universe up close.”
He huffs out a laugh.
He owns me then, taking control, moving my hips up, his strokes hard and solid, each slide precise and sure, my wetness coating him, the sounds of us, our bodies slapping together, our heavy breaths are all I can think about.
Leaning over me, he hitches one of my legs over his shoulder and gains momentum, his voice in my ear, dark and husky. “I want to know everything about you. What you eat, except for tomatoes, God, I hate those, what you dream about, what songs you listen to, what makes you laugh, what makes you happy, how you feel when I fuck you. I want you breathing for me. I want you begging me for more of this. I want you kissing me, just me. I want you, Tulip, you, you, you, you…”
His finger circles my clit in tandem as he takes me, and I writhe underneath him. He does it so well, so good until I can’t breathe, until I’m thrashing as I clutch his ass and dig my nails in. “Tulip…” he grunts. “I’m close. Come with me.”
He moves faster, faster, his cock thickening even more and I call out his name, undulating under him. He cups my face and goes over with me, his breath hard and unsteady as he kisses me with our eyes open. Emotion claws at my heart as my body pulses around him in the aftershocks.
I want you kissing me, just me.
God. His words.
I’m falling so hard, dancing near the edge of the vastness that’s him.
And I know there’s barely any trust left in me for guys, but for him…
I want this. Whatever it is.
17
Coiled and tense, I’m waiting for her in the parking lot. Okay, what’s the etiquette for seeing a girl after you’ve had sex with her? I mean, I know what happens after the usual girls, but she’s…her.
Her Jeep parks a few spaces over from mine and I jog over. She gets out of the car, bends over to grab her backpack, and turns to face me.
My heart skips. Fucking skips.
Last night.
Well.
It’s all I can think about and I’m ignoring those voices in my head, the ones that tell me to tread carefully, to go slow.
I just…
Want her.
I shove down niggling warnings that prick at me, reminding me that I have other commitments. Football. Dane.
One day at a time.
That’s what I’ve been telling myself since I walked out of her dorm last night.
For now, she’s here and I’m here and I refuse to go one more day with this need for her unmet.
She slings her backpack up and over her shoulder. There’s a hesitant look in her eyes.
“Sleep well?” I ask, fidgeting as we take off for the entrance of Camden.
A slow
blush rises up her cheeks. Her head dips, a vulnerable expression flitting over her face. “Yeah. You?”
My head goes back to last night, when I had her under me, all the things I told her, about my mom, admitting I was SA. I didn’t leave her dorm until nearly midnight, and walking away from her in that bed was hard.
She smiles, her lips curving up, lush and pink. “Hello. Earth to Knox.”
“Great.”
I slept like crap. Once I got home—with a mewling cat in my arms—Dad was sitting in the kitchen, demanding to know where I’d been. I paused, getting Astley settled with some sandwich meat from the fridge and a water bowl as I contemplated my answer. Truth is best.
“I was with Ava. I’m with her,” I told him finally. Damn, it felt good to get it off my chest, to finally tell him I want her, I want her next to me, I want her so fucking bad that no one even matters—
With his wide eyes searching my face, he interrupted my thoughts. “Knox, son, that girl is trouble for your brother. He can’t get over what happened to her, and just maybe, there’s a reason—”
“You don’t get to tell me who I see,” I snapped back and then stomped up the stairs.
“Your brother still isn’t home,” he called at my back, and I stopped in my tracks.
I came back in the kitchen and we sat on the barstools. After a few texts, I figured out he was at Liam’s. Dad and I both went to bed exhausted.
I finally got to sleep, then Dane woke me up around three, crawling in on the other side of my bed, eyes hollow and empty. I watched him get under the covers and turn over to face the wall, his shoulders shuddering.
Was he crying?
Why didn’t he spend the night at Liam’s?
When six o’clock rolled around, I couldn’t sleep, so I got up and ran for two miles, then came back, showered, and let Suzy fix me breakfast while Dad got ready for an early flight to New York. I went through the motions automatically, my head on Ava. Wondering if she was eating something. Wondering if her lips were as swollen as mine.
I come back to the present when she nudges me.
“How are we going to do this?” she asks as we get to the front doors.
I don’t have to ask what she means. I see the tension on her face as I open the door, and she glides through, her finger plucking nervously at her skirt. I take it and clasp it in mine. She’s not sure what we are, and neither am I, yet here we are.
She bites her lip, eyes darting around at the students in the foyer.
“They’ll fall in line.” Or I’ll eviscerate them.
I don’t see any of the other guys. Dane said he’d ride with Liam this morning, and they’re going to be late considering Dane was barely awake when I left.
Eyes are on us as we walk to her locker. Brandon walks past us, his mouth swollen and cracked from where I hit him. His steps falter when he sees me next to her, and I feel her stiffen.
I smile/snarl—whatever you want to call what my lips do.
With a huff, he pales and moves on.
Ava fidgets. “Knox, I-I don’t want your team to—”
“Please, trust me. Just keep walking to your locker,” I tell her.
She nods and when we get there, she undoes her lock, grabbing her textbooks. She turns around, and I tilt her face up, kissing her long and deep. Her backpack falls to the floor, her arms curling up around my neck. Jesus. God. Krishna. Whatever. I want to drown in her. I want to eat her slowly then fast—
“Get a room, locker neighbor.” It’s Wyatt and his laconic accent that pulls us apart. He’s smirking. “Prank night must have ended well.” His eyes focus on me. “If you hurt her, I’ll make you regret it, Shark.”
“What’s going on?” Piper says, sliding up next to us. Her eyes widen when she takes in my hand around Ava’s hip. “Um, did I miss something? Was there a comet last night that altered everyone’s brain? No? Maybe someone had a lobotomy? Still no? Huh. Then someone please tell me why a Shark is looking at Ava like she’s a slice of pie?”
“Just Knox making a statement,” Ava murmurs and glances at me. “Try to rein it in for class, ’kay? I don’t want to be sitting in Mr. Trask’s office explaining the PDA.”
Piper frowns then turns to Ava. “Don’t we hate him?”
“Apparently not,” Wyatt drawls, tossing an arm around Piper. “They were making out like gangbusters before you walked up. Putting on quite a show.”
“We weren’t making out,” Ava says.
“Pretty much,” I say.
She rolls her eyes. “Let’s go to class.”
Chance walks down the hall, Brooklyn next to him, and I pause. Nothing like ripping the bandage off right now.
“You go on to class. I’ve got something to do.”
She looks past me, following my gaze, and gives me a nod as she and Piper take off, their heads tilted together. I can only imagine what Piper’s asking.
I walk over to Chance, who hasn’t seen me yet.
“Hey,” I say to him, nerves kicking in. How am I going to do this? Oh, by the way, last year when you were seeing Ava, I wanted her, and now I’ve had her and don’t think I’ll ever let her go?
I glance at Brooklyn. “Can you give us a moment?”
“What’s up?” Chance says as she heads to class. “You ready for the game tomorrow? Anxious? I heard a scout from Auburn is coming.”
So did I. I’ve kept thoughts of it locked away and will focus on it when I need to.
I study him. “I’m with Ava.”
He pauses, and a long sigh comes from him. “With her?”
“She’s mine.”
Shoving a hand through his hair, he glares at me as his nose flares. “You’re my best friend. You know I still care about her, and when you want a girl, you just take her and then it’s over. Is that what you’re telling me? You want to screw my ex?” His face tightens. “Or have you already?”
Not answering that.
His hands tighten around his books.
“Are you angry?” I expect him to be, but I don’t want to lose him…
“Yes.” His teeth clench. “How do I know you didn’t hurt her at the kegger?”
“How do I know it wasn’t you?” I reply sharply. Part of me knows he’s not like that, and that’s what I’ve been telling myself for months, but…
His fists clench. “Because I loved her, and it pisses me off for you to even think that!”
I exhale, trying to shake off the anger I feel toward him. “You had your opportunity, Chance. You have Brooklyn. Ava is mine.”
He shakes his head, a knowing glint in his eye. “No, she isn’t. You may think so, but that girl is nobody’s. She belongs to herself. She’s different from everyone else here. You can’t own her like your dad owns this town—”
“Do you know how she grew up? She used to live under a bridge. Her mom was an addict and dumped Ava with a newborn baby. Tyler’s like her kid. Do you know her? Really?”
His eyes narrow.
“You deserted her when she needed you.” I’ve never said those words aloud to him, but boy have I thought it.
He closes his eyes, some of the heat leaving his voice. “I made a mistake, and I think about it every day.”
“What are you two girls gossiping about?” It’s Liam, weaseling his way over to us. We’ve barely spoken except for football, and I give him a surprised glance. “Is it about Knox showing up at prank night? All those underclassman girls went nuts with pics of you on social, man. Knox is so hot. Knox is at Arlington. Knox is holding a cat.”
Chance blows out a breath and looks away from me.
Liam frowns. “You two having a little tiff? Things not well on the offense, Knox?” He smirks. “Let me guess—Ava. Jesus, I’m sick of her.”
“Shut up, Liam,” Chance snaps. “Just stay out of it.”
I realize my twin isn’t with Liam. “Where’s Dane?”
He shrugs. “Went to pick him up, blew the horn and texted him. I got nada. Guess he’s not co
ming. He was wasted last night when I dropped him off.”
“Yeah? Where were you guys?” I ask.
Liam curls his lip. “Had a little get-together in my barn, some girls from Hampton High dropped by, sweet as hell—”
Jolena approaches and he shuts up, giving us a sweeping look. No blabbing, his gaze says. Whatever.
“When you went to pick him up this morning, was my dad’s car there? White BMW? He usually parks under the portico outside the front door.” He was supposed to leave for New York today for a meeting, but he hadn’t left by the time I did.
“No.”
“Suzy’s black Camry?”
He gives me an annoyed glance. “Didn’t see it, but I’m not his babysitter. He’s probably just skipping.”
My throat dries. When I left, Suzy was taking care of Astley and making an appointment for her to go to the vet. Had she left already?
“I even got out and knocked on the door,” Liam continues. “He’s sleeping in and will show up.”
My lips tighten. He doesn’t have a car! I guess Suzy could bring him later, but…
Ignoring them, I open the Finders App on my phone, and sure enough, Dane is home. I think about him shuddering when he crawled in my bed last night—
Jolena lets out a startled gasp as she looks at her phone. She shoves it in my face. “Did you go to prank night with Ava?”
I look at the picture of me holding the cat. Ava is next to me, a little smile on her face. Damn, she’s beautiful.
Liam leans in and then looks at me, eyes gleaming. “Ah, didn’t see that one. You hitting that finally?” He smirks at Chance. “Sorry, man. What Knox wants, Knox eventually gets.”
Jolena shakes her head, her eyes hard. “What is going on? How did I miss this?”
“Catch up, Jo. He’s with her,” Chance says, his face tight. “I’m going to class.”
He stalks off, heading to History of Film, where I should be going.
“Let’s get out of here,” Liam says to Jolena, throwing his arm around her as they leave.
I think for half a second, debating going to class and seeing Ava or checking on my brother.
I whip around, head for the exit, and run for my car.
Dear Ava Page 20