Surprise! I’m back in Nashville and I want to see you so bad. One of the guys under the bridge told me you work at this diner. Meet me there tomorrow after school. Please. I’ll come by every afternoon until I see you.
Mom
My hands shake and I fall back on my bed, numb. What the hell?
Two messages, both unwanted, on the same day. Crap. I tear the note into shreds and toss it in the trash.
What the heck does she want?
Tyler?
No way. She left us.
Like hell I’ll meet her. I fire off a text to Lou and let him know what’s going on, and he replies and tells me to take a few days off and lay low.
My phone pings with a text, and I snatch it up.
I can’t breathe, beautiful girl.
Give me a minute.
To catch up with you.
Wait for me.
It’s SA/Knox, and his words make me whimper. I clutch the phone, itching to reply, but in the end I set it down.
21
“Residents of Arlington Dorm! It’s football time at Camden Prep! Tonight’s game is against our biggest rival, Morganville Academy! Come on out and watch the game! Go Dragons!” Miss Henderson announces over the intercom on Friday afternoon. I hear her taking a deep breath. “Get to the stadium and scream your tits off!”
I burst out laughing.
Piper clamps a hand over her mouth. “Did she really just say that?”
“Balls, as Tyler would say. She did,” Wyatt murmurs from the desk where he’s checking out Tyler’s dragon drawing, which I picked up today when I saw him briefly at the group home.
“Football is king here,” I say.
“I’m glad you decided to go to the game, girl. You’re a badass, and you’re gonna show those assholes they can’t keep you down!” Piper calls out as she watches me rummage through my closet. She looks cute with her strawberry blonde hair pulled into schoolgirl pigtails and wearing a gray sweatshirt with a huge Camden dragon on the front. She even has a bright red C sticker on her cheek that clashes with her pink glasses.
“Yep.” Part of me dreads going, wondering how I’ll feel, but the other side wants to see Knox play, wants to see his face.
He came in late today and was waiting for me by my locker after lunch. He looked harried, and with his last text on my mind, I softened more.
Last period, the players and cheerleaders led a pep rally in the gym, and I watched him laugh and joke with Chance and some of the other players. He caught my eyes up in the stands and sent me a kiss on his fingers. After school when he walked me to my car, he mentioned the game, and I told him I’d think about it. Then, he kissed me, and all sane thoughts flew right out of my head…
Piper joins me at the closet when I pull out a pair of skinny jeans and a Camden Prep crop top. With the other hand, I hold up a denim sundress. “Which one?” I shake the two hangers at her. “Strappy flats with the dress or Converse with the jeans?”
Piper wrinkles her nose. “Hmmm—”
“Just wear what you always wear,” Wyatt says. “You’re pretty in anything.”
I grin. “First, I love you. And second, you’re right. Don’t want to overdo it. It’s just a game. Jeans and shirt for the win.”
Later, I feel the buzz of excitement in the air as we walk toward the stadium. I notice a familiar tall man at the bottom of the bleachers, watching the crowd. We’re several feet apart when our eyes connect. Wearing slacks and a button-down shirt, he looks as if he just came from work. A red Camden hat is on his head, the mahogany hair longer than standard for a businessman, the curls silky and dark brown. His expression seems anxious as he stares at me.
I elbow Piper. “Hey, isn’t that Knox and Dane’s dad?” I’ve seen pictures of him before in our school directory because he’s a board member.
She follows the direction of my nod. “Oh, yeah, that’s him. Good-looking for an old dude, right?”
“Mmmm.”
“Heads-up—Queen Bee and bitches arriving in three…two…one,” Wyatt mutters, and I look up to see a group of cheerleaders headed our way wearing cheer outfits, matching makeup, ponytails, and hair bows.
“Library is the other way, charity case,” Jolena snips out when she sees me. “No one wants you here.”
Great. Here we go.
I stop in front of her and hold my hand above her head. “I thought you had to be at least this tall to ride one of these football players, Jolena. But don’t worry, I won’t snitch on you.”
She startles and smacks my hand away then stalks off.
Wyatt laughs. “I bet Queen Bee will use that line on some other girl next week.”
“Nah, she’s too short,” I say. Then, “Dang, I can’t believe I wanted to be one of them.”
Piper pats my back. “Stick with us, girl.”
We reach Knox’s dad, and there’s no mistaking the resemblance up close. Same chiseled jawline, same patrician nose, those broad shoulders.
I don’t think he recognizes me, but then he steps in front of me, smiles faintly, and sticks out his hand. “Ava Harris, right? I’m Dane and Knox’s dad.”
I nod and clasp it in mine, swallowing down nervousness. “Mr. Grayson. Nice to meet you. These are my friends, Piper and Wyatt.”
He shakes their hands as well. “Call me Vance, please.” He looks at me. “It must be hard for you to come to a game. I’m glad you did. Would you like to sit with me?”
My eyes flare and I glance at Piper and Wyatt, but both of them have moved away, chatting with some other students. I see Jagger and Camilla in their midst. Yikes, I’m alone with a parental.
“I thought I’d sit with my friends,” I say rather lamely.
“I’d like to get to know you a bit, if you don’t mind.” He shifts his feet, fidgeting, and he’s so obviously uncomfortable…
I sigh. “Sure. Just let me tell my friends.” I dash over to Piper and tell her I’ll find them later then head back to Mr. Grayson.
He nods. “Let’s find some seats then—the stadium is filling up fast. Morganville brings a big crowd as well.”
We make our way to the top and talk about mundane things as the players come out on the field: the weather—it’s hot—and the expectations of the team this year—high. He points out a man wearing an Auburn hat a few rows over and tells me he’s a scout here to watch.
“This is Knox’s year for a championship,” he says with a proud smile.
I take it all in, nodding and smiling in the right places. He sits very still and rather tense, just like Knox, and good grief, why does he want to talk to me?
The first quarter starts and moves slowly, neither side scoring. I’m glad to see Dane playing, but it’s Knox who keeps my attention, the confident way he walks on the field, the way he handles the ball—until he throws an interception, a pass that Chance misses.
His dad groans as Morganville runs the ball back for a touchdown.
A timeout is called by the Dragons.
He watches them jog off to talk to their coach in the huddle. “Knox thinks highly of you,” he murmurs.
Okaaaay. Let’s do this.
There’s a long pause as the band plays a song just a few sections away.
“And I want you to know I’m sorry for what happened to you. Knox mentioned he told you about my wife.”
Oh.
He pauses as if I might say something, but I don’t.
A long exhalation comes from him. “Dane is dealing with some mental things right now, and I’m sure you already know he’s been using drugs.”
“Yes.”
He shoots me a wry smile. “When he was a baby, you should have seen the way he emulated Knox, trying to keep up with him, to swing as high, to climb the tree. And when he fell, Knox was the one who picked him up. My boys are like night and day.” His gaze lingers on Dane. “I haven’t been the best dad, especially lately, and it’s taken a pile of shit to get me back on track, but I want to do right by them. I want them to h
ave everything.” He sighs. “That’s what a good parent does, right?”
“I wouldn’t know.”
He gives me a glance.
“Don’t feel sorry for me,” I say quietly. “I’m going to be awesome someday.”
Something dawns on his face. “Ah, so that’s it.” He lets out small laugh, but it doesn’t sound cheerful. “You have fire in you, Ava. He’s told me about how you grew up, your mom, your brother.” His gray eyes, so much like Knox’s, trace over my face. “It takes a phoenix to rise from the ashes. I guess he thinks you are one.” He doesn’t necessarily sound displeased about it, yet his voice is resigned.
“I see. Is there a reason you wanted to talk to me?” Let’s cut to the chase, buddy.
He grimaces. “Don’t be wary of me, please.”
“Mmmm.” I see why Knox loves to use noncommittal responses.
“Let me ask you something. Do you ever wonder what it would be like to just start over, without all the events of last year hanging over you, to meet new people, to move on?”
I stare at him, meeting his gaze directly.
“I did start over. I came back. Full circle.”
He nods. “I heard what that cheerleader said to you. Does that happen a lot?”
My lips tighten as my gaze lands on Jolena on the field. “Yes.”
He nods as if expecting the answer. “I mean this with all due respect, but Knox isn’t ready for you. He’s still got a whole football season to get through, plus Dane.”
Well. There it is.
I scowl at him, a retort on my lips—
“Just let me finish, please,” he continues, a pained but determined look on his face. “You’re young. He’s young. You have your whole lives ahead of you. College, careers. I didn’t meet my wife Vivie until I was twenty-three, and I knew right away she was everything. Have you ever considered how good it might be if you met Knox on a level playing field, when he isn’t swamped and you have a firm grasp on what you want to do with your life?”
“You misunderstand, Mr. Grayson. I do know what I want,” I reply. “I’m going to med school. I’m going to take care of my brother.”
“I’ve heard.” He sighs, hesitating before he speaks again. “Unfortunately, Dane doesn’t need to be around you right now—which is not your fault. It’s his.” He takes his hat off and rakes a hand through his hair. “And you’ll…you’ll see that later.”
See what later?
I push that aside for now. “I remind Dane of his mom.” It’s apparent every time he looks at me.
“Yes, there’s that, and Knox is torn between you and his brother.” He pauses, as if to let his words carry weight.
I frown, trying to understand what he’s not saying. My chest rises in agitation. “Is this a talk where you try to convince me to break up with Knox?”
Not that I’m sure we’re a couple yet…
A ghost of a smile flits over his face. “I’m not sure I could convince you of anything. You seem to hold yourself well. I just want my boys to be happy, and Knox isn’t happy.”
My heart picks up, his words pricking at me, reminding me of Knox from the past two days: quiet, unsure, exhausted.
“Just…think about a fresh start, a new beginning somewhere that doesn’t have someone writing on your locker or hitting you in the back of the head. Would you like that?”
I smile, but there’s no mirth in it. “What do you have in mind? You’ve obviously given this some thought.”
He closes his eyes. “Please, don’t be upset. I only say these things because I love him. Is that so terrible?”
From out of nowhere, a rush of emotion tugs at my throat and I blink rapidly. No, it doesn’t make him terrible at all. It’s heartbreakingly beautiful.
I just…never had a parent looking out for me.
“I know you’re very smart,” he continues. “Mr. Trask speaks highly of your academic abilities.”
“Yes.”
He takes a breath. “I’d like to propose that you leave Camden behind and find a new school.”
“Run away from all these elitist assholes? Pfft.”
He lets out another small laugh. “So much fire…”
I just sit there quietly, remaining still.
“I have connections at NYU, my alma mater,” he murmurs a few moments later. “I can get you in easily with your scores. I’d also be willing to help you financially.”
“I find New York very cold.” I stare straight ahead. My hands start to shake and I tuck them at my sides. Who the heck does he think he is? Paying me off to leave here?
“I also know about your brother. I imagine you might want to take him with you. I can help you, get him in at a school near the university—”
My chest heaves. “I don’t want your money or your scholarship.”
He smiles wanly. “Not surprised. Do you think you love Knox?”
Do I love him? Is the sky blue? Is the night dark? God, I’m so there with him, teetering on the edge of his world, wanting everything with him.
“You haven’t been with him for that long, Ava, and distance might tell you if you’re unsure. You’re complete opposites. You come from different worlds.”
“Hades and Persephone were happy.” There’s a hitch in my voice, because…because he is making good sense, and my only defense stems from Greek mythology. Pathetic. We’ve only been “together” since prank night, and while we do have a history from last year, we never acted on it because of Chance, then the kegger, and I…dammit, why am I doubting everything now?
Another wan smile from him. “Just let him breathe. Let yourself breathe. Come back when the timing is right.”
I shake my head. He sounds so damn reasonable—just like Knox did last night.
“I only want what’s best for what’s left of my family.” There’s a catch in his voice, and as much as I want to dislike him, I see the desperation on his face, the love for his kids…
I finally stand. “I think I’ll finish the game with my friends, Mr. Grayson.”
His eyes are damp. “I’m sorry if I said things that hurt you.”
“You’re just…taking care of your sons,” I say grudgingly.
He looks back out to the field, and I realize we’ve missed most of the second quarter.
I take the first step on the bleacher then he calls my name, follows me, and presses a card in my hand. “Here’s my cell. If you change your mind or just want to talk, call me.”
I flinch as a thought enters my head. Is Knox on board with this idea of me leaving Camden? I glance back out on the field and see he’s on the bench, watching us.
Walking away, I stick the card in my pocket and start to head toward Piper and Wyatt, but then I detour and head to the bottom of the bleachers, over to the gate where I can see the players.
Do you ever wonder what it would be like to just start over, without all the events of last year hanging over you, to meet new people, to move on?
No, Knox would never want that. Right?
Later, I’m next to the fence with Camilla, our eyes on the field as the minutes tick down on the clock. We’re three points behind and the home crowd cheers loudly.
Knox takes the field and lines up, his jersey covered in green and brown stains from being tackled on a couple of big runs, and he has a slight limp, but I smile at his focus.
“Hike!” comes from the field and he takes the snap then runs a quarterback sneak to the left side, straight into the end zone, putting us ahead.
Our entire sideline jumps up and down as the band plays our fight song over and over.
The other team gets the ball, but our defense stops them on three quick plays as everyone watches the clock tick to zero. Students, cheerleaders, and band members run onto the field. Nothing like beating your number one rival.
I stand still, knowing I wouldn’t feel comfortable out there, but my eyes search the crowd for Knox.
He emerges out of the throng, holding his helmet and looking up
into the stands until he’s engulfed by people giving him hugs and smacks on the back. He shakes them off after a bit and steps away, scanning the stadium. For me, I think.
I wave and call his name, and his eyes find mine. He pushes his way over to me, ignoring the press of cheerleaders and students.
I walk down the edge of the field as he approaches. With his helmet off, his hair is wet with sweat, and he runs his hand through it. He has black face paint under his eyes, and combined with that scar, it’s intimidating and sexy as hell.
“Nice game, Cold and Evil.” My words are light.
He stretches a hand across the fence and weaves his fingers into mine. “I didn’t think you’d come. I’m glad you did.” He reaches across with his other hand and pulls the back of my head toward his. The kiss is salty and I can feel the heat radiating from his skin as his body tries to cool him down after his exertion on the field. Our mouths part and I lean my forehead against his.
“You kicked ass.”
He grins. “I saw you with my dad. What did he say?”
“Not much. I left him to get a closer look.”
“Did you like him?” I hear uncertainty in his voice, and relief flows through me. Knox can’t possibly know about the things his dad said to me, because he didn’t even know I’d come tonight.
“He’s your dad and a lot like you—what do you think?” I didn’t dislike him, though I wasn’t a fan of his message. Besides what he had to say, I thought he was a nice guy.
He’s about to speak when another voice breaks in.
“My house, out at the barn. Keg. Ten o’clock. See you there,” Liam calls out as he runs over to Knox. His expression cools when he sees me and he shoots Knox an assessing, hard look. “You coming, QB1? We have a lot to celebrate. Some of the Morganville cheerleaders are stopping by.”
Knox looks at Liam, and I can’t see Knox’s face, but I sense the tension coming off him in waves. Even so, his words are smooth as silk. “Yeah. Dane and Chance are with me. See you there.”
Liam gives him a broad smile. “That’s what I’m talking about. See you there.”
“You’re going?” I say when Liam walks off, my voice incredulous. I mean, we didn’t make any plans today, but the keg party? Seriously?
Dear Ava Page 23