by Cora Seton
Connor followed more slowly. “Did you talk to Cab about me?”
She stopped ringing him up. “No. Why would I do that? I’ve never met you before.”
Connor felt silly. “No reason. How much?”
He finished the transaction as quickly as possible, thoroughly unsettled by the whole situation. Cab must have told Rose all about what had happened last night, even if she wasn’t going to admit it. How else to explain the way she was acting?
Which sucked.
Really sucked.
Instead of climbing into his truck and going home when he’d left the jewelry store, he walked three blocks down Main Street to the Sheriff’s Department. Inside, he opened the door to the man’s office without knocking, “Hey—I need to talk to you!”
Cab looked up with a long-suffering expression. “Get in here and pipe down. People are working.” The two men faced off in the small room after Connor shut the door behind him. “What’s this about?” the sheriff asked.
“You told your wife what I did last night?”
For the first time since he’d met the man, Cab looked confused. “Come again?”
“Your wife. Rose. Sells rings?” He held up the small black box. “Knows all about my personal life?”
When a shit-eating grin spread across the sheriff’s face, Connor wanted to deck him.
“Naw, you got it wrong,” Cab said. “I didn’t tell her anything. I don’t make it a habit to spread around the exploits of Chance Creek’s riffraff.”
“Then how did she know Sadie and I have had problems?”
To Connor’s surprise, the sheriff chuckled. “Let me guess. You bought a ring and she held it for a second? Gave you a set of orders for what to do next?”
“That’s right.”
“Just a parlor trick,” Cab said lightly. “She gets… hunches. When she touches an engagement ring. Whether or not the couple will make it for the long haul.”
Connor remembered her frown. Her furrowed brow. He shook his head. “She doesn’t know anything about me and Sadie—”
“Like I said, she gets hunches. Whether or not you pay attention to them is your business.”
Connor sagged. He jammed his hands in his pockets. “She said to clear up any misunderstandings before I propose.”
“Sounds smart to me.” Cab took a seat behind his desk and waved Connor to one of the chairs.
Connor shook his head. “I’ve got to go.”
“Hey,” Cab called after him as he headed for the door. “Good luck. With your proposal.”
“Thanks.”
It was nearly noon by the time Connor returned to the ranch, and Sadie was so furious she thought her blood was boiling in her veins. By the time Connor had come home last night it was long past midnight. She’d heard his heavy steps in the hall, heard him pause in front of her door. He hadn’t bothered to knock or come inside. Hadn’t bothered to excuse his absence, and this morning he was gone before she even woke up. Avoiding her, obviously.
What had he done to make him feel so guilty he had to leave the house so early? And who had he done it with? That’s what she wanted to know.
She made herself stay in the kitchen even as his truck pulled in and parked. She was in the middle of setting the table for lunch, putting out the fixings for sandwiches and a large bowl of salad. Despite her fury at the way Connor had treated her in the last twenty-four hours, it was still her job to run the house, stock the farm stand, make herbal remedies and make sure her sisters were fed. Everyone was busy, and she was determined to do her part.
Even if she was being cheated on.
Again.
Connor entered the back door and let it shut behind him. “Sadie, got a minute?”
“No. I don’t.”
She bustled to the refrigerator, opened it, but wasn’t sure what to take out. She was shaking so hard that when she finally spotted a jar of mayonnaise, she had a hard time grabbing it. She turned to place it on the table, and found Connor directly behind her.
“Listen, I know I fucked up—”
“That’s right. You fucked up. It’s common courtesy to let someone know when you plan to stay out all hours.”
“I didn’t mean to stay out so late—”
“I was up until nearly one-thirty in the morning.”
Connor looked sheepish. “It was closer to three by the time I got home,” he admitted. “I got delayed a couple of times, and—”
“I can only imagine.”
“That’s just it,” he said. “I don’t want you imagining, because it was nothing like that. Not really.”
“Not really? That makes me feel a whole hell of a lot better,” she snapped. Ducking around him, she placed the mayonnaise on the table, and realized she didn’t have an appetite anymore.
Jo came into the room. “Is it almost lunch? I’m hungry.” She stopped when she caught sight of Connor. “Am I interrupting something?”
“No—”
“Yes—”
“Sadie, step outside,” Connor said. “I’ve got something I need to say to you.”
Sadie’s heart plunged into her stomach. Something he had to say to her? There was only one thing it could be. He’d thought about it, and realized they had nothing in common. Realized he didn’t want to stay here on this ranch in the middle of nowhere. Realized she wasn’t all that interesting, after all.
He’d probably realized that last bit in between the legs of another woman.
“This’ll just take a few minutes.” He held out his hand, but she didn’t take it. Instead, she skirted around him, stalked to the back door and headed outside. Best to get this whole thing over with and out of the way. Then she could get back to being single—the way she planned to spend the rest of her life.
When would she learn that if you cared for someone they could crush you? The minute you trusted them, they’d walk out of your life and wouldn’t come back—
Or stay in your life and flaunt their other conquests—
Connor followed her, but he didn’t stop on the porch. He led the way down the steps, across her gardens, around the greenhouse into the staked-out perimeter and partially built walls of the enclosed garden out behind it. It was far from finished, but it did provide a bit of privacy. Sadie gritted her teeth and followed along.
“Say what you need to say,” she told him. She didn’t want to spend a minute more with him than was necessary. He’d already showed he couldn’t be trusted. And she had a feeling she’d hear a lot worse in the next few minutes.
“I went out last night to find information about Grant. I tried a couple of places but it wasn’t until I got to the Dancing Boot that it seemed like I could get someone to really talk to me. The bartender—well, she began flirting with me. Giving me drinks—that kind of thing.”
Sadie felt her cheeks burn. Bartender? “You mean Tracy?” Her voice didn’t sound like her own. It was flat and hard—betraying the feelings she wanted to hide.
“That’s right. I guess you know her?”
“Of course I know her.” Tracy had flaunted her relationship with Mark at every opportunity, rubbing Sadie’s nose in it.
“I didn’t mean anything by talking to her. Like I said, I wanted to see what she knew about Grant.”
“If it didn’t mean anything, why do you look so guilty?” She couldn’t keep her anger out of her voice. He did look guilty, and that sent her fears into overdrive. If he’d cheated on her, she didn’t know what she’d do.
“Because—” He shrugged helplessly. “I let her think I was flirting back to her. I wanted information and I thought I could get it that way. But then I realized how that might affect you. I don’t want to do anything that hurts you, Sadie. I want to be the kind of man you trust.”
“Are you? Trustworthy?” She could hardly force the words out. What exactly had he done with Tracy? And had Tracy known what he meant to her? Sadie still couldn’t forgive her for sleeping with Mark when she’d known Sadie was dating him—even i
f he’d turned out to be a killer. It meant she wasn’t enough to keep a man’s attention. If Mark could stray, then Connor could stray.
“Yes. I swear, Sadie.”
How could she believe him? “You were out nearly all night—”
“Not with her. I walked home. It took a while.”
“Yeah, that would.” But she wasn’t convinced.
“Look. Nothing happened. I didn’t want anything to happen. I just… got…”
She waited for him to finish his sentence. “You got what? Horny? Lazy? Selfish?” If he was going to break her heart, she wanted him to get it over and done with.
“Not any of that.” He took a deep breath. “Thoughtless, I guess the word is. I haven’t spent a lot of time thinking about long-term commitments. You have to understand, I’ve seen what a failed marriage can do. I’ve seen the worst of it. When my parents split up, they didn’t just move across town from each other. My dad took me to Texas, and my mother and brother stayed in Ireland. They told us it wouldn’t be so bad; that we’d talk all the time. That nobody was really losing anybody else. They lied.” He lifted up his hands. Dropped them again. “I can’t tell you how that felt; losing my country, my home, my family—my brother—all at once.”
Sadie softened, understanding that pain all too well. Hadn’t she lived through something similar? Hadn’t her father disappeared into the Army? Hadn’t her mother died when Sadie was eleven? Hadn’t she spent the last few weeks imagining every hour of every day what it would feel like to leave Two Willows—and her sisters? She knew exactly how heartbreaking those kinds of separations could be.
“I don’t let women get close. Ever. But I want to be close to you.” He shrugged. “I walked home because I needed to get my head on straight. To understand myself—damn it.” He jammed his hand in his pocket and pulled out his phone. Glanced at the screen. “I’ve got to take this. It’s from USSOCOM. It could be your dad.”
Sadie wanted to grab the phone away. She wanted him to keep going, because she was beginning to understand he was struggling with commitment as much as she was. They’d both been burned and they were both trying to heal. Trying to move forward with hearts that had seen too much damage. They needed to talk about this.
But she knew Connor hadn’t separated from the Air Force yet. If USSOCOM was calling, he had to answer.
“O’Riley here,” Connor said into the phone. “Yeah.” There was a long pause. “No shit.” He raked a hand through his short hair. “Really?” His voice rose with excitement. “Yeah, patch him through.” He turned to her. “You won’t believe this—” He turned his attention back to the phone. “Halil? Is that you? Where are you?”
Halil? Wasn’t that the name of the man Connor had met on his rescue mission? The one who’d sheltered the pilot? The reason Connor been reassigned to USSOCOM?
“Canada? No kidding! That’s terrific!” Connor listened intently, and as he did so a wide grin spread across his face. All traces of his frustration dropped away, reminding Sadie what a handsome man he was. “Your family is there, too? That’s amazing. No, don’t thank me. I didn’t do anything. You’re the ones who saved Wesley’s life. I’m in your debt.” He listened again, and Sadie couldn’t help soften a little more. Connor was smiling like a madman. His happiness tugged at her heart. He looked younger when he smiled. Hopeful. She wanted to feel hopeful, too.
Maybe she should let herself feel that way. After all, Connor had freely admitted he’d flirted with Tracy without meaning to. He could have simply covered it up with a lie. He had come home last night; she’d heard him in the hall. He’d said he wanted to commit to her.
Was she creating a situation out of nothing but her own fears?
When he finally hung up, Connor turned to her, grinning. “You won’t believe this! That was Halil—the man I told you about. The man who saved Wesley Shaw’s life. The one I took to Iraq in the helicopter.”
“He’s all right?”
“More than all right. Somehow he tracked me down, which is a miracle; no one’s supposed to tell anyone where I am. One of the guys back at USSOCOM patched him through. He wanted to tell me they made it to Canada. His whole family, grandkids and all.” Connor’s voice cracked, and he cleared his throat.
She’d never seen him so close to losing control of his emotions, and she had a feeling Connor didn’t often let them get the better of him. “Connor—”
“That phone call just made everything worth it,” he went on when he could speak again. “Getting kicked off my team, getting sent to USSOCOM. Getting booted from the Air Force, whether my record gets cleared or not. I want to stay here—with you. But even if you decide you’re done with me, it will have all been worth it. Halil is safe. So is his wife—his children. Grandchildren.”
This was the man she’d fallen in love with. The man who valued other people more than himself. He’d taken such a risk to save Halil and his wife. He could have simply left them, but he’d done what he thought was right.
Sadie ran over his words in her mind. Last night he’d gone out looking for information about Grant—to protect Jo, a woman he’d only known for a short time. That’s the kind of man he was. He took responsibility for the well-being of the people around him, even if he didn’t have to. Maybe he’d flirted with Tracy along the way.
But he’d come home to her, confessed his transgression and was looking for her forgiveness.
What kind of woman would she be if she didn’t give him another chance?
“I’m not—I’m not done with you,” Sadie heard herself saying. “Not if you can look me in the eye and tell me nothing happened with Tracy.”
Connor took her hands, looked her straight in the eye and said, “Nothing happened, lass. Nothing ever will. I’m yours.”
Sadie shivered, and not just because that shimmer of awareness rushed through her as it always did when they touched. She felt as if the ranch itself was telling her to believe Connor. That he belonged here as much as she did.
She wanted to lean closer to him. To kiss him.
She wanted to believe him.
But she was afraid.
Connor must have read her fears in her eyes. His jaw tightened. “Lass, I promise. I’m your man. Yours; not anyone else’s.”
Sadie swallowed. Gave in. As much as she’d been hurt before, she had to try again or risk losing the one man she’d ever met who stirred so much want inside her. If she didn’t, she might be safe, but she wouldn’t be whole. Not if she turned her back on love.
She went up on tiptoe and kissed him. “I’m glad Halil is safe.”
“Me, too.” His voice was rough. “But even gladder to be with you.”
Connor’s hands shook as he pulled the small, black velvet box from his pocket. It was time. He couldn’t wait any more to find out Sadie’s answer, and with the news of Halil and Fatima’s safety, he felt there would never be a more auspicious occasion.
He took Sadie’s hand. “When I came here, I didn’t know I’d find the woman I’d always been looking for. In fact, I didn’t know I was looking for one. My past didn’t set me up to believe in marriage, but all that’s changed now. I want to share my life with you.
Sadie shifted, as if she would say something, but Connor didn’t wait for her to speak. He felt that he needed to get all of it out, before he lost his nerve. Or before he lost the words to best explain how he felt.
“I think some men underestimate what it will take to make a good husband. But I’m on the other side; I’ve always overestimated it. I’ve made it into something so big and so difficult I never felt myself worthy. What Halil and Fatima taught me was that the only thing you need to make love work is the willingness to keep trying. The willingness to keep loving—despite the difficulties that life throws at you, even if those difficulties seem insurmountable. I asked Halil how his marriage had lasted for sixty-two years—just making small talk, you know? Trying to keep everyone calm on the chopper ride. He laughed at me. He said, ‘Every morning I wa
ke up and look at my beautiful wife, and I thank God that she’s there beside me. If it wasn’t for her, I would be alone. I don’t want to be alone.’”
Connor squeezed Sadie’s hand. “What if it’s really that simple? I look at you now, and I thank God that you’re here. If you weren’t, I would be lonely. And I don’t want to be alone, either.” He lifted her hand, and showed her the velvet box. As he sank down to one knee, her eyes grew large. She opened her mouth to speak, but again he interrupted. “So, Sadie Reed, would you do me the great honor of becoming my wife? Would you go through life by my side? Would you allow me to be your best friend, your protector, your partner and the man who wants to dedicate his life to making you happy? Because that’s what I’m going to do. Because I want you to wake up every morning, and look at me, and be grateful that I’m there with you. I want you to feel that with me you’re not alone. Sadie, will you be my wife?”
The seconds that followed his proposal were some of the longest of his life. Sadie kept searching his gaze. She hesitated for a long moment, and Connor’s heart began to sink. Had he jumped the gun? Should he have taken more time to clear things up before he proposed? Rose’s words kept ringing in his mind.
But just when he began to lose all hope, Sadie squeezed his hand back. “Yes,” she said. “Yes, I will.”
It felt so natural to let Connor slide the beautiful ring he’d chosen onto her finger and to melt into his arms as he stood up and embraced her. As their mouths met, Sadie felt as if the world was singing a Hallelujah chorus. Joy ran through her veins as their kiss deepened, and when Connor pulled her down to lie beside him on the grass, she was all too happy to let him.
A bright blue sky above them was studded with puffy clouds like sailing ships, and for a brief moment, Sadie thought about what she would be giving up—the chance to travel the world, to be fancy free—
But really she wasn’t giving up anything she wanted. She and Connor could travel together someday—and the best part was Two Willows would always be waiting for them when they were ready to come home.