by Alexia Purdy
She buried her face in his chest, smelling sage and fire on his skin. She ran her hands up his back and stroked his hair which fell down his back in long straight ribbons. She rubbed her cheek along his warm chest, feeling his heart racing under his fiery skin. Shade lifted her head up toward his and watched his face turn down in response. His face was an ocean of calm while his eyes burned with desire. She watched his lips, perfect and lush, begging to be touched.
She sighed. What the hell? Giving in, she leaned toward him. She kissed him, feeling the warmth of his mouth press back against hers, softly at first, then desperately, as if they were about to inhale each other. His arms pulled her toward him and his hands cradled her head, holding her so tight that she felt breathless.
Shade suddenly pulled away and slipped onto the bed. Soap reluctantly let her, but not without a longing sigh as he continued to glow on fire. She watched him moving to kneel before her again, waiting for her next move. His flames crackled and flowed up his body like liquid flowing the wrong way. He let her collect her thoughts, still breathing hard.
“Soap, I—I can’t do this. We have to stop. I don’t know what’s going on. but I need more time. I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry.” Shade shifted farther back onto the bed.
“What’s going on here?” Dylan’s serrated voice startled Shade as she turned to see that he had slipped past the door so quietly, neither of them had even noticed his presence. His eyes were dark and his face was seething. He stared at Soap, who still glowed afire, and let his eyes move to Shade, frozen on the bed, her cheeks pink and lips red from kissing Soap. His eyes narrowed at her as his eyes darkened even more, turning into a gleaming onyx. She sucked her breathe in, shifting her glance between Dylan and Soap.
“Dylan, nothing’s going on,” Shade stammered. “You scared the crap out of me! What are you doing here?” She scrambled to stand up and stood beside Soap as he wove his glamour around him, a quivering mist which pulled together tightly until it became solid, leaving no sign of the blue-white fire on his tanned skin.
“It doesn’t look like nothing to me, Shade.” Dylan’s voice felt like poison as he spoke her name. Shade winced and started shaking her head.
“Dylan, it’s not what it looks like. I mean, he just came to see if I was okay.” The words choked in her throat as she lacked any better words to say. So busted!
“I bet you’re better than okay now, right, Shade?” Dylan’s voice was flat and almost melancholy. “So this is how it is, then? You and Rylan? Of all the fey, I’d think you would’ve chosen better than a savage wildling. You can’t trust him, Shade. You don’t know what he really is. Changelings are traitors and thieves, infiltrating fey families. Just because he could be part Teleen doesn’t change that. He will hurt you the moment he gets what he wants. Won’t you, Rylan?” He snickered at Soap.
“What the hell are you talking about?” Shade’s surprise made her voice squeak. “Soap has been nothing but loyal to the Queen and to the Seelie Court. How dare you say such things! He’s also my friend, and your jealous rants need to stop right now!” Shade felt her chest tighten as her anger spilled over her self-control along with hot tears swelling in her eyes. She felt like running over to Dylan and smacking him across his face. Something stopped her, though. The fact he wasn’t even paying her any more attention, but was in a stare down with Soap, concerned her.
“Haven’t told her, have you, Rylan?” Dylan hissed. “You wouldn’t dare ruin your chances with the lost Queen of the Scren Seelie Court, would you? Lose a chance to be a King? Very unlikely for you, right? Well maybe I should inform her of your little misdemeanors. Unless, of course, you want to enlighten her yourself?”
Shade stopped what she was about to scream out at the Teleen guard and switched her eyes toward Soap. His face was dark and still. He was also staring Dylan down but didn’t refute what he’d just said.
“Soap, what does he mean? What’s he talking about?” Shade was getting tired of the games, but Soap didn’t answer her. He remained silent. He finally gave in and averted his glare to the stone floor. Shade watched him, her eyes widening and her mouth agape.
“What are you talking about, Dylan?” Shade turned back toward the former captain of the Teleen Guard and waited impatiently as he turned his cold, grey, eyes to her. Nothing but contempt filling them, burning into her like fire. She hated to see him looking at her like that, especially after he’d held her hands so gently earlier, by the paintings. She flinched at his glare but flicked the thought away and waited for him to answer.
Dylan snarled again at Soap with ice picks in his eyes and his jaw hard with disgust. When Dylan finally turned back toward Shade, his eyes were emptied of fury and full of pain. He shook his head and looked to the floor.
“Soap has to be the one to tell you. I’m sure it will be a most interesting conversation, but I have to go now.” Dylan’s voice came out abrasive but quieter than before. He sounded defeated. Shade’s eyes widened as she watched Dylan turn and rush out of the room.
“What? Where are you going? Wait! Dylan!” Shade scrambled after him and caught the door before it slammed behind him. Slipping through, she grabbed his arm, pulling him back and making him stop in the hallway. He sighed, letting his gaze fall away from her. When he finally turned his head toward her, she took in his eyes, now full of pain and broken. In that moment, Shade wanted to grab him and hold him tight. Somehow, she knew he wasn’t lying about leaving. The door slammed behind her as she slowly stepped toward him, releasing her grip. He sighed as she approached, shaking his head again.
“Stop, Shade, please,” he whispered. She knew he ached to reach out and pull her into his embrace, but he held fast to where he was, refusing to give in.
“Dylan, where are you going? What’s going on?” Shade licked her lips, her mouth parched. She was afraid to look away from him. Her breath caught in her throat as she waited for an answer she knew she didn’t want.
“I’m leaving, Shade. I’ve been summoned before my Queen. Queen Gretel of the Teleen. I have to answer the summons or face punishment.”
“Why? She knows we’re bound, leaving will not be good for either of us.” Shade felt on the verge of tears at his words.
“I don’t know why, Shade. I received the message this morning, and I’m leaving right now. I came to say goodbye.” He watched her misery paint itself across her face.
“But why? I need you to help me find out more about my father. You can’t leave now.” Hot tears filled her eyes and slowly spilled down in trails as her voice quivered with uncertainty.
Dylan stared at her, his eyes glassy and now empty. The hallway was dimmer than the brilliance of the glass-lined rooms. The flames of the oil lamps which burned along the walls flickered, making the light dance across their faces. They lit his eyes, glistening with unshed tears that made her want to hold onto him so that he could not leave. He reached over to her and pushed a wisp of her hair back, letting it slip through his fingers slowly, watching it until it slipped out all the way. He let his hand linger and caressed her cheek longingly.
“I’m sorry, Shade. It looks like this is the way it’s going to have to be. Goodbye.” With that, he turned away and disappeared down the hall. Shade found herself left staring after him, hoping he would turn back. When he didn’t, she felt her tears flood down her cheeks and drip onto the floor. She let them run and felt the sobs escape from her chest, echoing around her.
How could I be so stupid!
Shade loved Dylan, and it hurt to see such disappointment burn across his face. She felt lost, and the pit of her stomach seemed to twist itself so hard, she felt like keeling over onto the floor. She reached out to grip the wall and balance herself. She hated how everything was going. It felt like she couldn’t breathe, and it was all her fault. Shade slipped to the floor and buried her head in her hands. The cold stone wall against her back pressed uncomfortably against her spine, and the stone floor wasn’t any better. Somehow, though discomforted,
she didn’t wish to move. She simply remained on the ground and let the cold seep into her.
Chapter Nine
THE TASTE OF the honey wine at dinner made Shade want to drown herself in the glass as it swirled around. The food seemed intolerable and sat untouched on her plate. Rubbing a finger on the edge of the glass she’d refilled a few too many times, she watched the golden fluid ripple slightly. She was no stranger to intoxication; the wild parties after graduation had been a bit too much fun. Luckily, Dylan had never partaken in any of the drinking, preferring to escort Shade home each time without a complaint. Shade had always been the responsible one before that, always taking care of her siblings and her responsibilities, never having too much to drink at other parties. Knowing Dylan would be there to take her home when she needed him to allowed her to let loose more than she probably should’ve at the end of the year school parties.
Shade chuckled to herself, remembering how she had taught Dylan how to drive the family’s minivan. He hadn’t a clue how to drive the massive metal machine but had been determined to learn since Shade had insisted he should learn to drive if he was to spend any kind of time in the “normal” human world.
Dylan had mastered driving fairly quickly. He even liked to drive her family around for errands, shopping, daycare or whatever. Her mom had liked this quite a bit. Shade had loved having a chauffeur, too. It made it easy to relax and numb her mind to blow off the anxiety she had pent up inside.
“Shade, are you alright?” Sary’s voice broke her thoughts. “Maybe we need to give the honey wine a break.” Sary replaced her glass with a cup of water and shoved a plate of food closer to Shade, who was leaning on the table to keep from the swaying. The alcohol was definitely more potent in Faerie. Shade closed her eyes, feeling the room spinning, but at least she was feeling a lot less upset.
“Try to eat something, Shade. For crying out loud, what’s going on? I know I don’t know a lot about what is going on with you because I’ve been with Stephen most of the time, and I’m sorry about that, but you need to get a grip!” Sary’s frustrated, tense voice made Shade sit back up and stare at her friend. Shade’s eyelids hung heavy as she gripped the table even tighter to steady herself.
“I’m not hungry, Sary. I can’t really say what’s going on, because if I knew what the hell was going on, maybe I would be okay. But I’m not, so there!” Shade sighed at her own childish rant and stood up. Her balance swayed, but she caught herself before falling.
Sary’s lips were pressed in a thin line as she watched her cross the room. Shade barely reached her room before needing to stop for a breather. She held the stone wall for support as her senses attempted to equalize. Hot tears were pouring out, streaming down her cheeks as she thought about Dylan leaving. She’d told Soap to leave after she’d realized Dylan wasn’t coming back. She’d bawled her eyes out until she couldn’t anymore. Shade had barely made it to dinner, and only under Sary’s insistence did she drag herself to the dining hall.
There she had sulked in her chair for a while before drowning her sorrows in the wine. Her stomach was twisting into a knot now. She hadn’t even drunk much, but the lack of food was probably a very bad thing to mix in. Shade fumbled with her doorknob and entered her room. She thought of Ursad’s concerned eyes from his table at dinner. He looked like he was going to head over to her when she’d shaken her head toward him, warning him not to. He remained in his seat but not without looking distracted and quite upset. Soap had kept his distance, too, aware of her mood.
Shade flopped onto the bed and stared out the massive windows. The light of day was fading again into brilliant purples and reds, giving the clouds an almost ripped appearance across the sky. She buried her head in the pillows as she pulled the covers around herself. She felt like sinking into the bed and never arising.
Shade felt overwhelmed by the feelings flowing through her. She’d messed it up for her and Dylan. She liked Soap, but it wasn’t the same. How could she fix this? How could she atone for the pain she’d obviously caused Dylan? Rubbing her face, she groaned. She had no idea how to fix anything. She had so much to do, and all that’d been accomplished was to lose someone she cared for. She couldn’t even tell him now how she felt about him. She watched the sun bleed away into the dusk and prayed Dylan would come back eventually. She guessed he would probably have to, especially with the blood bind still in place.
The shock of her sudden and intense feelings for Dylan disarmed her. Hot, plump tears welled up in her eyes and spilled over her reddened cheeks. She rubbed her face on the soft pillows, hugging them tighter as the sobs overwhelmed her. Her body shuddered with the effort as she let the crying run its course. The honey wine’s sleepy effects were now working on her, but she fought it, sitting up in the bed and staring out the windows again. She wanted to go home badly. That very instant, in fact.
Shaking the thought out of her head, she decided against asking Camulus for a quick teleport ride back home. She was not sober at all, and didn’t want her mother or siblings to see her intoxicated. James and Alice, the two youngest, were impressionable, and Benton, who was one year younger than her, was not so easily fooled. He had relentlessly questioned her when she’d returned from the last trip through Faerie until she made a point to avoid him completely. Dylan’s presence had only heightened his endless suspicion.
Shade wondered if her brother knew anything about Faerie and her abilities. She didn’t really like to confide in him. They were not close in any sense of the word. Sometimes she wondered if that was her fault. She had always busied herself with school and hanging out with her friend Brisa, she hardly noticed what Benton was up to, even more so now that Dylan had come into the picture.
Benton had been particularly suspicious of Dylan from the get go. Benton had eyed Dylan from head to toe without discretion when she’d introduced him to her family. Benton’s frown had made it obvious he didn’t like competition as man of the house and disapproved of the arrangement immensely. He then proceeded to avoid Dylan like the plague, and mostly retreated to his room, blasting the music as loud as he could get away with.
Now Shade wished she were back at home with Benton’s familiar gloominess to look forward to. She sighed, stretching her arms and legs as she lay back on the bed. She needed to talk to someone who wasn’t fey. Like Brisa, who would know something about guys. Maybe Benton might have some male insight on what she should do about Dylan and Soap. She wondered if Benton would like Soap any better. Squeezing her eyes shut and rubbing her face, she had to admit, she really didn’t think so. Benton was very protective of the family, and any outside male threat to them was anything but welcomed.
Shade shifted on the bed again, feeling the restlessness crawling under her skin. She nodded to herself, finally making up her mind. I’ll go home once I sober up. Only then could she sort things out and think straight. But first, she still had to find Draden and get him to talk more about her father. She suspected Draden knew far more than he let on, and now was as good a time as any to start following her intuition.
She quickly stood up but immediately sank back down onto the fluffy bed as she groaned. The room was still tilting from her overeagerness with the alcohol. She flung herself back onto the pillows. She would’ve to wait out the ill effects of the sweet faery drink before attempting to walk out of the palace. Shade curled up on the silken cloud of pillows and sheets, letting herself drift off into sleep.
Chapter Ten
THE MORNING HAD Shade wide-awake with the sunrise. She lingered in the main entryway staircase of the palace which everyone had to eventually pass through to get to the dining hall. She was sitting on the bottom step of the grand staircase, impatiently tapping her foot over and over. She watched as guards, servants and decorated warriors treaded past her, never giving her a second glance. None of them were Draden or his brother Andraste, and the twin’s failure to appear made Shade want to pull her hair out. How could they have been so close, and she’d failed to ask them the mos
t important question she had. After about an hour, she felt like throwing in the towel and retreated to the dining hall to get breakfast.
Her stomach was much better this morning. The world no longer swayed, tilted, or made her stomach lurch. She was relieved to avoid a hangover, especially since she had decided to travel back home today. Spotting Sary, she slumped into the empty chair next to her. Stephen occupied the chair on the other side of Sary. He leaned forward, giving her a questioning eyebrow lift.
“What?” Shade’s dark mood had yet to go away.
Stephen grinned and shrugged. “Nothing, Shade. How are we this fine and beautiful day? Going somewhere?” He eyed her pack as she pulled it off and tucked it under the table.
“Yes, I’m going home after we eat. Has anyone seen Draden? I have to ask him something.” She loaded her plate up with fruits, pancakes and syrup. She was famished after missing almost a whole day of nourishment due to her overwhelming, self-imposed depression.
“Home? But we aren’t scheduled to return until tomorrow,” Sary responded. “Today, Stephen and Than will finish organizing the troops to take with us to Guildrin that Prince Lotinar has so generously provided for Queen Zinara’s disposal. What’s going on?” Sary said as her eyes narrowed in on Shade, waiting for an answer. “Does this have anything to do with Dylan’s departure?”
Shade dropped her fork suddenly, its clang ringing against the floor as she pressed her lips together tightly. She glared back at Sary, not appreciating her friend’s inquisitiveness.
“No, I just need to go home. I can’t stand it here in Faerie anymore. I really don’t think this is the place for me. I’m not a Queen. I’m not anything like that. I just want to ask Draden if my father had any other family I can contact and be done with it.” She grabbed a fork from the empty setting beside hers and shoved a piece of pancake into her mouth.