by Amy Bearce
They’d been traveling awhile, so, okay, she might not smell like roses, but she was shocked he’d mention it. She was tempted to sniff herself to make sure she didn’t stink too terribly, but pride held her still.
His laugh rolled out like an ocean wave. “No, Sierra. It’s a delightful fragrance that would undoubtedly let your queen know of your potential ability. I doubt humans can even sense it. It’s not the scent of a magical creature, but it’s similar. As soon as you got close enough, I recognized you right away as a human with one foot firmly in the world of magic. The strength of your scent suggests abilities far higher than a fairy keeper, so I was shocked when your mark was revealed. When your fairy stung you, she raised you to a new level of bonding, one that changed everything for her―and you.”
Sierra wondered for a moment if this scent was anything like the rosemary and rain sweetness she had smelled on Sam and now Micah.
He caressed her new, improved mark, and it wasn’t only the usual warmth that surged through her. A feeling of safety swelled inside, too, like she was at home, a real home. She felt like she’d known him forever. She wanted to lean into him, but, instead, she stumbled back.
This had to be the magic at work. It was so strange to be this fascinated by him, so drawn to him. Maybe the magic in her recognized another creature of magic. She stepped backward again and forced her hands to stay at her sides instead of lacing her fingers through his like she wanted. She didn’t know Micah, not really. She had thought he needed help, but if anything ever did not need her help, it was him. He didn’t need her to stay with him.
In fact, nothing was stopping them from moving as quickly as possible back home. Sierra had her queen. They had to get back for Phoebe. With Nell so ill, their return journey would take longer than expected. The thought of leaving Micah made Sierra feel empty, but she pushed the sensation away. There was no time to lose.
Panic grabbed her by the throat when she counted up the days they’d been gone and realized they had only ten days left to get back to Jack.
Nell was calm now, still asleep, holding tightly to Corbin’s hand. Their obvious love drew barely a faint pang from Sierra. Corbin and Sierra might still be close after this journey, since she and Nell had come to an understanding. Assuming Nell lived.
Sierra stepped away to give them privacy, and to escape Micah’s knowing gaze. She leaned on a white boulder that had cracked along one side, perhaps from the quake. Micah followed, and her stomach clenched. Now they were practically alone. She didn’t know what to do.
“What?” she hissed over her shoulder at him.
He lowered his voice and leaned close. “You saved her, this Nell who reeks of violence, though perhaps her future will be different than her past. She is not your enemy?”
When he spoke, his breath fanned over her keeper mark. She shivered.
Sierra shook her head. “We’re not enemies.” She realized this was true. “We disagree about things.”
His chest rumbled behind her, and she realized he was laughing at her choice of words.
Then he stepped beside her and looked down, seeming taller than before. “I will not forget you saved me. She would have left me behind to die, wounded in winter, less than an animal. I owe you my life.”
Sierra’s throat tightened. “If I hadn’t shot you, your life wouldn’t have needed saving. I’d say we’re even. Where is your family? You don’t seem much older than us; surely you have someone we could find for you?”
It was the responsible thing to offer, though it pained her to think of saying goodbye.
“That is not the way of it. You have shown me honor. I must show the same. I am fifteen winters but have lived alone for five years, since my parents died.”
“I’m sorry. That sounds very hard,” Sierra offered.
He replied, “In many ways, the same lack of magic stole their lives as it stole my voice and my health. There are precious few fauns left in these mountains, and none of them have spoken in years. There is nothing to prevent me from honoring my debt to you.”
A strange disappointment touched her, followed by a flare of annoyance. Was a desire to return a favor the only reason why he sought out her company? She remembered how he stepped back when he saw her keeper mark, a look of surprise and even fright on his face. Remembering his response made her angry.
“Look. I appreciate the sentiment, but we’ve got to get going. We’re even. Promise.”
Sierra faced away from him. She didn’t want to go too far from Corbin and Nell, but Sierra also didn’t want to stand next to Micah anymore, not since he felt obligated to help. Her eyes stung a little, but she stared at the mountain ridge below them with a stoicism Jack would have admired. She focused so hard on distancing herself from Micah that she jumped when he glided his hands around her shoulders.
“Sierra,” he said her name like a promise.
He gently turned her to face him, and she was helpless. She looked into his eyes, and again she saw herself reflected. Her hair flowed around her shoulders, pulled loose from its braid during her screaming fits. She flushed to think of him seeing her so softened. But in his eyes now, Sierra admitted to herself that she looked almost lovely. Like a doll, so tiny, but still strong. He didn’t ask her to be soft and feminine. He respected her the way she was, even though she did things she wasn’t proud of. He seemed to see all the way inside her to the cold, rough places, in a way that not even Corbin ever had.
“What should we call you now?” She was too embarrassed to explain why she called him Micah.
“I like the name you have chosen. In all honesty, with the years that have passed since I could speak, I haven’t thought of my old name in many moons. Micah will do fine.”
He smiled at her and she smiled back, hesitantly. She was secretly thrilled he wanted to keep the name she gave him.
“Why is that?” she asked. “I mean, why could you not speak? Does that have anything to do with changing into a deer?”
He shrugged. “I have long been able to transform to a deer, as it is a useful disguise at times and a fast way to travel. But I can only remain in that shape for short periods of time. A deer is a simple creature. Magical creatures take on the reality of the shape they wear. Were I to remain a deer for long, my consciousness would fade to that of a deer. I would disappear, leaving only the wild animal. Not something I’d wish to have happen, I assure you.”
Sierra shuddered at the thought of such a fate. “But wait―why were you already a faun when I found you after… after I shot you? Why didn’t I see a deer instead?”
“Ah. Illness and wounding disrupts our ability to work magic. I cannot hold any shape but my original if I am seriously ill or wounded.”
She frowned. “You’d think magic could work, no matter what, or what’s the point?”
“Magic has its own laws to follow. You know this.”
She did?
Micah continued, “As far as why I couldn’t speak even as a faun, I know that a world without sufficient magic damages magical creatures first. My parents told me, though, of fauns in older times who often walked as human men and women, who even decided to remain in the body of a human and let the magic fade from them. They eventually became human, because they felt it was better to live a full life without magic as a human than a magical but short life as the hunted.”
“They just… became human? Non-magical? You won’t accidentally get stuck as a human, will you?” Her mind couldn’t keep up with the magnitude of revelations, but that sounded bad for a faun.
“No, humans and fauns are much more alike than faun and deer. I suspect I could live the entire time between two full moons as a human without danger. Then I’d only need to refresh my magic by reverting to my original shape for a time.”
“That’s… amazing.” No other words seemed sufficient for such a feat.
“Indeed, it is, just as it is amazing that you can now hear your queen the way the keepers of old did.”
Sierra fro
ze. To suspect Queen could somehow mentally communicate with her was one thing, but his casual confirmation of it frightened her. Mixed with the fear was a tiny dab of relief that maybe she wasn’t going crazy after all. It was challenging enough to be Queen’s keeper, to be responsible for her. If he spoke the truth, then Queen owned Sierra now more than ever. Maybe insanity would be better.
“I don’t know what you mean,” Sierra said, guarded. Things were plenty strange as they were without adding something else unusual.
He stared at her with disappointment, like she was a pupil who had missed the point of a lesson. “If you insist. But you should know that my father passed down all the stories of Aluvia’s history to me before he passed away. You cannot hide certain truths from me.”
She needed to change the topic. The thought of anyone or anything inside her head made her want to scream. Being a keeper? She’d spent years resenting it, but with the new love flowing between her and Queen, the calling didn’t seem so horrible anymore. But to have Queen permanently invading Sierra’s thoughts and emotions? For the rest of her life? That was unacceptable. She had never wanted that kind of intimacy with anyone, and once again fate hadn’t asked before deciding for her. She wasn’t ready to discuss the change.
“Thank you for pulling me out of the cave,” Sierra said, forcing out the words. He had to have been the one who rescued her. “Don’t you think we’re even? You saved my life in there.”
He considered this but shook his head. “You made a choice to stay with me, at the risk of great loss. What I did took no risk. Fairies cannot harm me. You led me here, which allowed my healing. I need to offer a worthy sacrifice for you.”
Sierra rolled her eyes. Not even his amazing voice could keep her ever-present attitude at bay for long.
“Give me a break!” she snapped.
He pulled his hands back. “What does this mean?”
She poked him in the shoulder. “I mean, stop saying stuff like that! I don’t need any sacrifice from you!”
“But you have sacrificed for others here,” he protested.
He was clearly crazy. Too bad. Those eyes and that scent… and that voice… and those kind, wise words… Well, if he weren’t crazy, he’d be someone she could actually enjoy spending time with. If she were honest, he was even a secret candidate for that maybe-someday kiss, so she guessed it was better to find out early on that he was missing a few arrows from the quiver. It wasn’t like she could really be with him for long, anyway. Her heart lurched. If Jack stole from the fairies, what might he take from the first faun to be seen in years? The thought made her shudder. She backed up several steps, stumbling a bit over the rocks.
“Whatever. Everything I’ve done, I’ve done for myself. I love my sister and can’t live without her, get it? So I’m going to save her, which means bringing Queen back to Jack and―”
“Didn’t you hear what Nell said?” Corbin interrupted.
Sierra stiffened, wondering how long he’d been standing beside them. “It doesn’t matter―”
“She said we couldn’t keep taking their nectar like we do. Bad things will happen. As in, it’ll destroy the world. You can’t bring the queens back to Jack.”
Sierra sighed. Corbin wouldn’t understand. She didn’t care if the entire country fell into the pits of the ocean, as long as Phoebe was safe. He glared at Sierra, daring her to argue.
Micah, though, eyed her with speculation. “Perhaps we can wait to discuss the situation once we reach your sister?”
“We? What do you mean, ‘we’?” Sierra blurted out.
Micah glided toward her, maneuvering through the tangled rocks on his human legs as gracefully as if he were dancing.
“Is it not obvious? I must accompany you back to your home, to fulfill my honor’s requirements.”
faun―no matter his chosen shape―escorting her back to Jack? Completely impossible. They couldn’t risk a slip-up, and he couldn’t stay human forever. A walking faun would cause riots. Jack would want to lock Micah in a cave and charge admission. Villagers might be too willing to grab a sword and flaming torch. She tried to make Micah understand the problem with his plan.
In return, Micah calmly listed all the reasons he needed to come with them. They’d need help carrying Nell. He knew the quickest paths down the mountain, not an unimportant detail. He knew which berries and foods were safe to eat. Since Sierra was obviously not a reliable hunter―to put it mildly―and Nell was unconscious, they’d need his knowledge to survive.
Once Micah presented his arguments, Corbin agreed right away. He would have agreed to anything in order to get Nell to a healer faster. Sierra took a little more persuading before accepting Micah’s decision. If he hadn’t blossomed into the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen with the flood of magic the fairies provided, the decision wouldn’t have been so hard. Or if he wasn’t a perfect gentleman, one who understood magic better than she did and was willing to teach her. One who seemed to be able to read her thoughts like she had written them down and handed them to him.
Micah was coming to help, like it or not. She hated that she really did like him staying with them. A lot.
Sierra wasn’t ready for someone else to care about. Loving people opened the door for pain if―when―something bad happened. Love was a risk, and risks were dangerous. She tried to minimize risks at all times.
Phoebe was going to looove this one. In fact, she would love everything about Micah.
After a quick discussion, the group decided to wait and leave in the morning, hoping Nell would be awake by then. They needed the rest, and night was already falling. They’d have to just make up the time later. None of them wanted to go back in the cave, so they set up a little camp between the boulders that offered protection from the wind.
Sierra crawled into her bedroll after one of the longest days in the world. She daydreamed about what it’d be like to save Phoebe, for real. Sierra pictured running to her sister, hugging her, triumphantly showing Jack the fairy queens… but then, the daydream ground to a halt. Sierra couldn’t get past the image of giving Jack the fairies, essentially sending them back into slavery. If she gave them away, could she get them back later? Corbin’s accusations echoed in her mind as she listened to the wind howl above the rocks. She lay on one side, then tossed to the other. It didn’t matter―she had to get Phoebe back. The fairies’ dilemma would have to wait. It wasn’t like Sierra was taking them all to Jack. All she needed was one. Queen. Pain flashed through Sierra, but she buried it, thinking again of Phoebe’s face.
Rest eluded Sierra for a long time, but eventually sleep overwhelmed her spinning mind.
They awoke to the cold. Sometime in the night, Queen and Grace had returned to them and snuggled in their respective bedrolls. Corbin’s smile when he saw his fairy was brighter than the sun. Sierra breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of her own tiny queen, golden and beautiful as always.
Morning… Queen whispered. The word was accompanied by a cheery feeling of welcome.
Sierra tried not to show a response in front of the others, but mentally replied, To you as well.
Warm happiness flowed from Queen to Sierra. The strength of the emotion pushed back the chill of the morning. Okay, maybe this kind of communication wouldn’t be so bad after all. Maybe she’d ask the others about it when they were on the road. She felt strangely shy about discussing it.
A light snow had fallen during the night, hiding all the signs of struggle, covering over the red that stained the ground around Nell. Their journey home thus began on an optimistic note. Even more hopeful was the cloud of fairies flying above them, dipping and swirling like playful butterflies. Gone were the angry, dangerous fairies from before. They now seemed sated and pleased, in a cheery mood. Sierra didn’t know why they were with them, and Queen didn’t seem interested in sharing, if she knew. It was just as well that Nell hadn’t gained consciousness yet. Sierra doubted Nell would find the sight of the fairies so uplifting.
Corbin’s queen sat on his shoulder with a smile, though his mark hadn’t changed as Sierra’s had. Gazing at them, a sudden thought left Sierra thunderstruck. She wanted to groan. She couldn’t tell anyone she thought she heard Queen speak, at least not for now! Corbin was sad enough that he didn’t experience the visions and taste of nectar that guided them to the cave. If he knew Queen was actually talking to her, sharing emotions, and his queen Grace wasn’t… well. It would crush him, even if Queen had to bite, scratch, and sting her way into Sierra’s heart. Maybe that was the only way Queen could get in, she admitted. Still, she didn’t mind waiting to share. She didn’t really want to think too deeply about why it was she could hear and even feel Queen now.
Nell’s neck and hands were covered in scratches, and some bites had even torn through her shirt and jacket. The violence of the wounds was shocking. Still, her breath was slow and steady and her cheeks were pink in the cold morning air. Corbin and Micah carried her. Sierra brought Nell’s knives and bows and arrows, and Corbin wore the sword. Sierra hoped he didn’t fall on it.
They half-slid down the steep paths, sending gravel skittering down the trail. The snow thinned out to mere patches here and there as they returned to the denser forest. Sierra breathed a little easier now. The trees offered cover if they had to hide.
Micah had been very quiet. She wondered what he was thinking about, if he was mad at her for not wanting him to come with them. The last thing she had intended was to hurt his feelings. She sighed.
“So… I’ve heard there are griffins here,” Sierra said to him, in an awkward attempt at conversation.
He nodded. Corbin’s breath puffed from carrying Nell, but Micah looked as if he’d been reclining on a bed somewhere. He seemed completely comfortable hiking with bare feet and legs.
“Yes, and also nagas, manticores, trolls, and dragons, along with other creatures.”
“Dragons?” Sierra stumbled.
Corbin did, too, and Nell nearly hit the ground.