by Jenni James
He thought back to the last time he was here, when he was leaving home instead of coming back, and he recalled it perfectly. So many times over the past four years he wished that the day he left this place would fade a little from his memory, but it hadn’t. Training his brain to forget Veera had been impossible, but burying himself in his work did the trick most days.
He worked very hard to make Veera become just a girl he used to know. He had even dated a handful of times. One of the girls he dated had even kissed him. It wasn’t a very good kiss and he didn’t enjoy one second of it, but it counted. Things rarely went farther than a third date because it was hard to have a relationship with someone when every day of his week was spent in the mountains away from civilization. And none of the groups he ever guided for had been a group of female hunters, so meeting someone on the job wasn’t working out either. It didn’t really matter right now anyway. He needed to stay focused on his business. He didn’t have time to think about girls. But as he passed the city welcome sign, memories of the girl who broke his heart, stubbornly surfaced.
Without even thinking, Knoah turned his truck down the road that led out to the St. Pierre’s place. He just needed to see the house. Maybe a new family had moved in. His parents never spoke about Veera to him. This was probably due to the fact that he had yelled at his mom when she called him after finding out that Veera’s family had moved. After that, they all just ignored the subject completely. So they never told him if the house had any new owners or not.
As he drove down the familiar road, he slowed as he passed the old Crawford house. It looked creepier than ever with the vines crawling over the window sills and into the house. The moonlight reflected brightly off the white stone front and it even looked like a light was coming from the upstairs window. It was the only window that actually had its glass still intact so it was probably just a reflection. Knoah shuddered a little as the house disappeared from view.
A few seconds later he was parked in front of the St. Pierre’s old house. It was still huge and it was still beautiful but it looked different from how he remembered. The mountains behind it made it look cold, austere and rigid. There were signs of life inside though, so someone must be occupying it. A few of the windows were lit, cars were parked out front and the lawn had been freshly mowed with the fountain in the center of the circular driveway flowing with water.
Whether or not Veera’s family were still the owners, he couldn’t tell. He didn’t recognize any of the vehicles. The white Rubicon Jeep parked in the driveway looked fairly new, but with mud spattered all over the sides it was hard to tell if it actually was. Veera had always wanted a Jeep. She told him she just wanted something big and pretty and durable so she could go places she shouldn’t and discover things no one else knew about. Knoah checked the clock and saw that it was getting pretty late. Trying to leave the past in the past, he headed to his parents’ house as he worried that coming home for his little brother Riggs’s high school graduation had been a huge mistake.
Knoah pulled into the parking lot of his old high school and wondered how he could have ever thought this building was big. “Weird being back right?” he asked his brother Travis who was sitting next to him in the truck. Travis had flown in from Massachusetts two days prior and seemed to be enjoying his time back home. He was probably still on a high after just learning that he was accepted into the astrophysical doctorate program at MIT. Knoah didn’t envy him the workload that came with or his tuition bill.
“I actually spend so much time in a classroom that I think I’ll feel right at home,” Travis answered as they got out of the truck. “Are we supposed to save mom and dad a seat or are they saving us one?”
“I think Max is supposed to be saving everyone a seat. Mom dropped him off while she and dad ran to the store real quick. Hey, does Max seem different to you? He seemed a little more serious this morning than I remember. And definitely not as cocky as I remember,” Knoah asked Travis. Even though Max and Travis fought constantly growing up, Travis was the one who seemed to understand Max the most. Knoah and Travis talked occasionally on the phone and would text each other a lot, but Knoah hadn’t spoken to Max in any form since he left four years ago. He had finally forgiven his oldest brother for narcing on him to Mr. St. Pierre but he didn’t know if he would ever fully trust him again.
“I think Max is finally growing up and realizing that he can’t keep being a serial dater and professional partier. He has some special skills that got him into some trouble a while back but I helped him find a way to put them to good use recently. He’s actually going to move to the East coast next week. He’s been out there for some training but he just officially got accepted into an elite program so he’s going to be out of here soon,” Travis was definitely being cryptic but Knoah didn’t feel like pushing for more details. He had just spotted a white Rubicon in the parking lot and even though it was missing mud splatters today, he felt sure it was the same one he’d seen the night before. He told himself it didn’t matter who that Jeep belonged to but he wasn’t sure if he believed that.
“At least he won’t be thirty and still living at home,” Knoah said in answer to Travis.
“There’s still a couple of years to go before we can rule that one out man,” Travis said with a smile and they walked inside.
Chapter 4
I think I won’t have kids just so I never have to sit through one of these ever again,” Knoah whispered to his mom who sat on his left side.
“Shhh. I’m listening to the speaker. He’s supposed to be famous or something. We’re lucky Absaroka Academy invited our school to combine graduation ceremonies. It’s a really neat opportunity for us to get to be here for this,” his mom whispered dramatically back.
“It’s actually his voice that made him famous,” Travis said from his mom’s other side.
“Really?” their mom whispered. “I didn’t know he sings. What type of music?”
“Oh he’s not musical. No, I heard he once put an entire audience to sleep just 15 minutes into one of his speeches. I think he’s trying to beat his time today.”
Knoah snorted and his mom laughed and swatted Travis’s leg. Knoah was still quietly laughing and looked down the row past Travis to see if Max and their dad had heard the joke. But something caught his eye and he froze. In the row ahead of them about ten people to the left sat a tall man in a very expensive suit. He had a little more grey in his beard than the last time Knoah saw him but there was no mistaking that profile. It was Veera’s father, Thomas St. Pierre. His wife, wearing a fancy hat that looked out of place at a Montana high school graduation sat next to him. The rest of the row was obscured from his view. He leaned over to whisper to his mom.
“Why are the St. Pierre’s here?”
“Oh, I thought you knew. They moved back two years ago. Well, the parents and their youngest daughter, Olivia, that is. Olivia transferred to Absaroka Academy after her sophomore year. She’s graduating today too. It looks like her older brother is in town but I haven’t seen anyone else,” his mom didn’t look at him as she said those last words but he could tell she wanted to. She probably wanted to say that she hadn’t seen Veera and he was thankful she hadn’t come right out and said it. His mom had tried to talk to him about Veera a few months after he moved to Canada but he hadn’t given her a lot of information. It’s not like he had a lot of information to give though.
When he left home that day he also left behind a lot of unanswered questions about Veera. He’d tried calling, texting, emailing and reaching out through social media for the whole first month he was in Canada but one by one her accounts and her parents’ accounts and numbers changed. They had made him feel like a stalker. He’d just wanted to talk to her, to just hear an explanation from her, but he never got one.
Max had probably been the one to tell his mom everything and who knows what he said about it. Thankfully, his mom had stopped asking about her. She was probably extremely curious as to what happened between t
hem. Heck, he was curious about what happened between them.
“Do they still live in their mansion?” it sounded less bitter in his head.
“Yes. They had it up for sale for a while but it never sold. I’ve heard rumor that Thomas is thinking of opening up a law office here and somewhere in Canada. Apparently he’s going to leave his firm and go into business with a new partner,” his mom’s wealth of knowledge never ceased to amaze him. The gossip network was really so underrated.
As Knoah listened to the next speaker, he tried to shove aside thoughts of the St. Pierre’s. He needed to get his head out of the past and focus on the future. He started making a mental to-do list in his head so he didn’t get too far behind on his work stuff while he was here.
The first thing he needed to do was call his real estate agent and see what he could find out about the other buyer interested in the property he wanted. Or maybe he should just call the seller and see what he could do to seal the deal on this property. No property meant no lodge and he didn’t want his expansion plans to stop right when his business was going so well.
He shot off a short email to his real estate agent as the graduate’s names were read and diplomas were handed out. When Riggs’ name was announced Knoah and his brothers whooped and hollered obnoxiously and Riggs’ did a funny little head nod to accept their cheering graciously. Knoah expected to only hear polite applause when Olivia St. Pierre’s name was read, but to his surprise there was an air horn that came from somewhere down the row in front of him. This was very uncharacteristic of the St. Pierre family and when he looked towards Thomas and Katrina they both had very fake and very tight smiles on their face. The air horn didn’t seem to have been their idea.
Veera was always pulling stunts like that to rile up her parents when she was in high school. She hated how much time her parents wasted worrying about what other people thought of them. She wanted to do things because she wanted to do them not because she thought other people wanted or expected her to do it; and definitely not because her parents thought she should based on what they thought other people expected.
Veera’s strong conviction of living her own life the way she wanted to, was one of the reasons her rejection of Knoah had hurt him so much at the time. He knew she wouldn’t make a decision that wasn’t her own so he knew that her decision not to come with him four years ago was all her and had nothing to do with her parents. It had taken him so long to stop replaying every conversation, every word, every signal. For the first few months afterward he couldn’t stop himself from wondering how he missed the signs. Had he been overly confident in her feelings toward him? Obviously that answer was yes but he didn’t know how he had been so blind to not see it.
“Knoah!” his mom’s shouted whisper interrupted his thoughts.
“Oh sorry, what did you say?” Knoah asked as he realized the recent graduates now all had diplomas and were throwing their hats in the air. The audience was starting to move from their seats so Knoah stood up and his mom followed suit.
His mom sighed, “I said, maybe you should say hi to the St. Pierres. You did practically live at their house for two years after all.”
“I think that would be awkward for all parties involved mom. But if you go over there, give them my best.” Before she could say another word Knoah headed to the exit and hoped Travis wouldn’t be too far behind. Knoah hadn’t been around this many people at one time since his own graduation and that had been a much smaller affair. He wanted to get out of here and take a quick ride up the mountain to get some fresh air and clear his head. He turned around to see if Travis was coming and if he felt like a ride on the mountain but instead of seeing his older brother, he saw Veera St. Pierre talking to his mother and staring right at him.
Chapter 5
K noah had wished for the day he would see Veera again for a whole year after leaving Montana. He thought about showing up at her fancy women’s college and demand a reason for why she left. He thought about taking her in his arms and making her come back with him. But in all those dreams of seeing her again, never once had he come up with a scenario where he saw her and didn’t know what to do.
Veera broke eye contact, said something to his mother and started walking toward him. He suddenly became very aware of his hands. Should he put them in his pockets? Should he pull out his keys so he would have something to fiddle with? Before he could decide, she was standing right in front of him.
“Hi,” Veera said with a genuinely happy smile.
“Hi,” he said back. Should he smile? He didn’t even know if he was happy about running into her. He had never even properly said goodbye to her. This was so awkward. She had technically said goodbye to him, if you could even call it that. But it actually was so good to see her. She was still as beautiful as the day he last saw her, maybe even more so. He tried to smile but wasn’t totally certain it made it to the surface.
“I didn’t realize Riggs and Olivia would be graduating together,” she said excitedly.
“Yeah, me neither. I forgot they were even the same age. Olivia always seemed so much tinier that Riggs.” He looked toward his family where Riggs had finally made his way to stand next to them. “Well, she probably still looks tiny next to him.” They both laughed. The kid was huge. He was already a little taller than Knoah, though not by much.
“So how have you been?” Veera’s voice was still light with just a touch of seriousness.
“Really well. I’m still in Canada, just came home to see everyone for a few days and then I head back,” he said.
“Canada treating you well?” she asked with real interest.
“Oh yeah, it feels like home now. I know the mountains there almost as well as the ones here.” He was trying to keep up with her light tone but the longer they talked about Canada, the harder it was to pretend she was just an old friend from his high school days and not the only girl he’d ever been in love with.
“What about you? You already had half your bachelor’s degree when you graduated high school, you’ve got to have your doctorate by now right?” He was half kidding about the doctorate but he wouldn’t have been surprised if it were true.
“Close,” she said seriously but with a smile. I just passed the bar exam so we’re double celebrating this weekend.
This was the last thing Knoah had expected to hear. “Wow! That’s amazing! Congratulations! I had no idea you were going to pursue a law degree.” What had happened to make her change so drastically from the girl he once dated? The Veera he knew was smart and driven but also care free and passionate and told him her father’s profession was too stressful. She told him there was no way she wanted to do what her dad did even though he was always trying to bribe her to follow in his footsteps.
“It was a little surprising to me too but after the first few months of law school I was hooked. My dad is leaving his firm and we’re opening up a firm together. The main office will probably be in Seattle and then I’m supposed to open up an office somewhere more remote,” she said. The rumor about a law office in Canada was a little more intriguing now.
As Veera finished talking, Mr. St. Pierre came up behind her with a big smile on his face. But the smile wasn’t for Knoah. “Veera, sweetheart, I just got off the phone and my offer on the property where your new law office and my new retirement cabin will be, was accepted. Let’s go home so we can celebrate.” His eyes never met Knoah’s as he turned to go.
Knoah wasn’t shocked that Veera’s father had ignored him but it didn’t mean he wasn’t annoyed. “Well, it looks like you have some celebrating to do. I’m actually waiting to hear about the acceptance for an offer on some property of my own.” He was trying too hard now and he needed to leave before he embarrassed himself.
“Really? Are you building a house? I didn’t see you here with someone so I assumed…” Veera trailed off looking slightly abashed and Knoah found himself confused by her reaction. Where was she going with this?
“No, not a house, I have m
y own outfitting business and instead of contracting with different lodges, I’m finally building my own near Chitek Lake.”
“Oh my gosh that is so great! I’m so proud of you!” she leaned in and hugged him tightly. It was different from the hugs they used to share but it still felt good to be so close to her.
“Thank you, I’m definitely looking forward to getting it started.” Her excitement was contagious and he found himself smiling easily.
“I feel like this calls for a celebration. We should meet up later for dessert somewhere. Would you want to meet me at that Frozen Yogurt Truck around 8?” she asked.
Knoah couldn’t help himself, “I think that would work for me, I’ll see you a little later then.
“Okay I better run now, see you soon!” she walked away and turned back and gave a cute wave goodbye. Right then Knoah’s phone gave a short vibrate. He looked at the screen and saw that an email had come through. It was from his real estate agent. It read:
Knoah,
I can’t talk right now but I wanted to let you know the deal fell through. Another buyer came in and offered 10% over asking price so the seller declined your offer and accepted theirs. Sorry man, we’ll have to keep looking.
So much cussing was happening in Knoah’s head. That property was perfect! He was never going to find anything like that so close to the Prince Albert National Park. His dream of having his own lodge had never felt further away. At least he had one thing to still look forward to, he would see Veera again in only 4 hours.