He looked at me, breathing just as heavily. “Cara, I know you want this as much as I do,” he whispered.
I backed away. “I find you attractive, sure. But I can’t compete with the women in your life.”
“What women?” He frowned.
“Amber’s told me everything.” I had almost regained my breath. “About you. About how you change your women like partners in a barn dance.”
“I’m single,” he said, raising an eyebrow. “I’m able to see anyone I goddamn please.”
“Yes,” I said. “And I’m not stopping you. I don’t want to be another notch on your belt Bryce, that’s all.”
“Cara…”
“You didn’t even know you had a son, Bryce.” I looked at him. “A beautiful boy. How many more children do you have out there? Have you even ever thought about that?”
His face changed. “That’s going too far.” He looked at me, a little sadly, then walked slowly back up the stairs to his bedroom.
Had I gone too far? I just didn’t know.
I needed to protect myself. My heart had been broken, before. I knew Bryce’s type. What had Amber called him? The Playboy of the Western World. Someone best kept at arm’s distance, if you knew what was good for you.
I had made the right choice. So why did I feel so bereft?
Bryce was gone by the time Charlie and I were up.
I still felt unsettled by what had happened between us. As much as I wanted him, I was scared. And believe me, I did want him. The kiss had been simply amazing. I hadn’t felt that way toward a man in a long, long time.
I guess I had always had issues in that regard. I would run a mile from being hurt by a man. Probably something to do with my father. He had abandoned my family when I was small, and it still hurt. I hadn’t seen him in years. It was one of the reasons I felt so strongly about how Bryce treated Charlie. And my father had been a player, always cheating on my mom. Until he had left her for good, running away with one of his women.
I didn’t want to end up like her, struggling to survive, trying to take care of me and my sister while working two jobs. She had been a strong woman and I was very proud of her, but it had been tough. I thought of my little sister, Bianca, a year younger than me. She had never been able to trust men, either. She had never had a serious boyfriend, and worked herself ragged trying to build up the fashion business she had set up since graduating from design school earlier this year.
That was what it was like, when you gave your heart to a player. It ended up in a million pieces on the floor. Thank God, I hadn’t given Bryce my heart to play around with. That I had stopped it before it grew into something I couldn’t control.
It was much better, keeping a lid on who you gave your heart to.
Much better.
Bryce
It was business as usual over lunch, in one of Surfer’s Paradise’s top restaurants.
I was used to working lunches. It was how a lot of business got done. But today, I was finding it hard to concentrate. My mind kept going back to Cara.
I couldn’t help it. I kept replaying over and over how she had felt in my arms. How hot she was. It had taken all my strength not to bend her over the kitchen table and have her then and there. I thought I had shown a lot of restraint.
I thought too of her words about me. How I was untrustworthy. That I used women. A lot of it was true; I really didn’t have a great track record in that way. I couldn’t help it. I tried, I really did. But I would always get distracted by the next beautiful woman who walked in front of me.
But she had gone too far, when she insinuated I had a tribe of children out there. I wasn’t Casanova, for God’s sake. What was wrong with good old fashioned lust, anyway?
My phone vibrated on the table. I picked it up, staring at the unfamiliar number. Oh well, what the hell.
“Hello?” I spoke cautiously into the phone.
It was Tanya. She was still in town, and asking if I wanted to meet her later for a drink at a bar. I paused. Did I?
I thought of Cara. But she had made her feelings towards me very clear. She wanted no part of me, however hot the connection was between us. I said I’d see her there at 6.30. I hung up, staring at the phone.
Why did I feel like I was doing something wrong?
I was a free agent, wasn’t I?
I walked into the bar a little after the time I said. It had been a ball breaker of an afternoon. I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to meet Tanya. I didn’t want to give her the wrong impression. But hey, it was only a drink, right? And I was single. I wasn’t hurting anyone.
She was sitting on a stool against the bar sipping a glass of wine. She was wearing one of those full length pant suits, all black, that plunged at the cleavage. She had curled her blonde hair slightly, so that it had a tousled, just got out of bed look about it. There was no denying it, Tanya was sexy.
And she knew it. I watched her flirting with the bartender, very much aware that every man in the place was eyeing her. I sat down beside her. She turned to me, smiling widely.
“Well, well, well,” she drawled. “Look what the cats dragged in. You came.”
“I said I was, didn’t I?” I signalled the bartender, ordering myself a scotch on the rocks.
She looked me over, openly appraising. “You are looking good, Bryce.” She took a sip of her wine. “After all this time, you’ve hardly changed a bit.”
“Neither have you,” I said, sipping my scotch.
“So, what’s the story?” She played with her hair while she eyed me. “How do you like being a father suddenly?”
“It’s different,” I replied. “I didn’t ask for it, but I’m willing to take it on. Charlie is a cute kid.”
“The poor little dear,” she pouted. “He really is a cutie. What’s the story with the nanny?”
“The nanny?” I took another sip. “Cara? She’s a friend of Amber’s, Finn’s new wife. On a break from her studies in the States.”
“She’s a strange one,” Tanya continued, pursing her lips a bit. “Not quite as…deferential, shall we say, as a nanny usually is. Thinks she’s a bit good, if you ask me.” She flicked her hair back. “Why did you even invite her to have dinner with us last night?”
“Tanya,” I said. “It’s the twenty-first century. We aren’t in colonial times. Cara’s just a person, and a very interesting one, at that. She was training to be a doctor, you know.”
“Oh, one of those types,” Tanya sneered. “The brainiacs, my friends and I used to call them at school. Forever studying. Boring.” She smiled, brightly.
I felt myself bristling. What did Tanya know of Cara? What right did she have to pass judgment on her?
“She’s actually one of the most intelligent, charming women I have ever met,” I said, looking at her.
Tanya laughed, lightly. “I’m sure she’s wonderful, Bryce. What are we doing, talking about the boring old nanny, anyway? There’s much more interesting things to discuss, I’m sure.”
“Like what?” I eyed her, suspiciously.
“Like you and I,” she replied. “Bryce, it’s been so long! I’ve missed you, you know.”
This was news to me. “Since when? We broke up years ago, Tanya. And we were never star crossed lovers.”
“I always hoped we’d get back together,” she breathed, batting her fake eyelashes at me. “Haven’t you? We have a real connection, Bryce. I felt it again last night, the minute I saw you again.”
“Hey,” I said, looking at her. “This is a bit sudden. We had a good chat, that’s all. It doesn’t mean we’re getting back together.” I looked around, a bit desperately. Had it been a completely wrong call, meeting her here?
I looked at her. Yes, she was beautiful. But like a thousand other women I had ever met or slept with. Yes, she was rich. But did that matter? She was also a socialite, part of that glitzy world that I had been a part of. I thought about it. It would honestly not worry me if I never went to another red carpet premie
re or star studded soiree again.
When had I changed?
I thought of Charlie, my new little boy. He needed me. And I thought of Cara, with her doe brown soft eyes and long, black hair. She was something else.
Suddenly, Tanya and her ilk looked plastic and fake, by comparison.
“I’ve gotta go,” I said, draining my glass. “I like to read Charlie a bed time story, if I can. It was nice catching up, Tanya.” I grabbed my jacket from the back of the bar stool.
She looked shocked, then grabbed me, pulling me over to her. Before I knew it, she was kissing me, pressing herself into me.
I pulled back. “Whoa, what was that?”
She grinned. “Just thought I’d remind you of what you’ve been missing.” She winked at me. “You’ve got my number now Bryce, don’t be a stranger.”
I walked out of the bar, not giving her a backward glance. It had been a mistake, coming here to meet her. Women like Tanya were predators; it was always about the thrill of the chase with them.
Hey, I wasn’t judging her. I had been the same, up until recently.
But my life had changed. And I had to change with it.
Charlie was asleep by the time I got back to the house.
I looked at his head on the pillow, eyes closed, mouth slightly open. His head a halo of golden curls. He was such a sweet kid; he didn’t deserve what had happened to him. Losing his mother, so young. He hadn’t even had grandparents or aunts and uncles in his life. Abigail had lost her parents, years before, and she had been an only child. So, there was only me in Charlie’s life, now.
No. that wasn’t quite right. He had lots of people – my parents, my brother and sister, Finn, Amber. As well as other friends. A whole network of people, ready and willing to love him. I just had to reach out to them and connect them with him.
And Cara.
Beautiful Cara. A ball of energy, eyes always sparking. She had taken to this role like a duck to water. I knew that already she cared deeply for Charlie, and wanted what was best for him. That was just the type of woman that she was.
Caring. Full of empathy. Always willing to go the extra mile, for anyone. And then there was that razor sharp brain, always questioning and finding answers.
I thought of how she had felt in my arms last night. Like a hot pool of sexiness that I just wanted to slither into. I was getting hard, just thinking about it. She was the whole package, really. Smart and caring and sexy. A woman any man would be proud to call his own.
Whoa. Slow down, I told myself. You’re jumping the gun. Just because you want to sleep with her doesn’t mean that you want to make her your own. Me, of all people, knew that.
But then why couldn’t I stop thinking about her? It wasn’t just the sexiness, although that was pretty overwhelming.
“Looks like you missed out tonight.” I turned around. It was her, poking her head around the bedroom door. Her expression was neutral.
I stood up. “Yes, too late.”
She looked at me, but didn’t say anything. Waves of disapproval emanated from her, before she silently walked away. I bristled. I didn’t have to explain my movements to anyone. Yes, I had missed out on reading Charlie his bedtime story, but it wasn’t as if he would even remember. He was only two, for God’s sake.
Still, I felt rotten. I should make more of an effort.
She was sitting in the living room when I came downstairs, flicking through a magazine. She didn’t look up at me.
“It’s Saturday tomorrow,” I said. “I think we should take Charlie on a picnic. I’ll drive.”
Her eyebrows shot up in surprise, but I didn’t say anything else. I walked away, although it killed me. I wanted to take her in my arms and claim her. But I knew she was suspicious of me; had her mind set that I was untrustworthy and was making a mess of this whole father thing.
I’d show her.
Cara
I couldn’t believe we were on the open road, heading to Noosa. I glanced back at Charlie in his car seat. His eyes were wide, staring out the window at the palm trees that whizzed past. Bryce had decided we wouldn’t be chauffeured today. He would be driving the new red Ferrari he had picked up last week.
Bryce told me it would only be a short trip. Mrs Hall had prepared a whole lot of picnic type food, packed into a huge picnic basket. It was her weekend off. There were sandwiches and mini quiches, pies and cupcakes. It would feed an army. I could barely close the lid of the picnic basket on it all.
He had dressed casually, just shorts and a t-shirt. But even in them, his sexiness took my breath away. I was finding it hard; the night before, I had dreamt of him touching me, again. It seemed to consume my thoughts. I was trying hard not to indulge it. I knew what type of man he was.
He was the type of man that couldn’t take any woman seriously. Eyes always on the next prize. Oh, I knew that he wanted me as much as I wanted him. But I also knew that as soon as he had me, he would lose interest. And that would make things very hard, considering I worked for him. Having a one night fling with the boss wasn’t the best career move. It would make working together painful.
And I was enjoying this sojourn in Australia. It was beautiful here; amazing weather, a wonderful lifestyle. And then there was Charlie. I didn’t want to desert him, not yet. I knew I would have to leave him, one day, but my heart ached a bit at the thought. I didn’t want to add to his trauma.
I knew what it was like, to be abandoned. It didn’t feel nice. I would just have to be vigilant with Bryce. But glancing at his hands on the steering wheel, I wondered how I could keep my resolve in the face of this overwhelming longing. It was even now rearing up and hitting me in the face, making my breath shallow.
I gasped in wonder when we got out.
Bryce had driven to a lake, there were picnic tables and a playground for Charlie. There were palm and eucalyptus trees all around, making me feel like I was in an enchanted forest. The bright sun hit the water, creating iridescence.
It was a beautiful part of the world. It reminded me in some ways of California, but it had its own unique thing happening. The fauna, for one thing. We got out the picnic basket, setting up. Bryce took Charlie by his little hand and led him to the lake, where I could see him pointing out swans and ducks that were swimming by.
My heart constricted. It was wonderful watching them bond. I hoped that Bryce would keep it up, create time for Charlie that he would remember. I would be gone by then, of course. I tried to shake that thought away.
The food was set up by the time they returned, and we all sat down to enjoy it.
“Where did you get Mrs Hall from?” I asked, stuffing my face with a ricotta and spinach mini quiche. “She’s a great cook. This food is really something.”
“An agency,” he answered, his mouth full. “But I first met her a couple of years ago, when she was head cook at the best deli in town.”
“So, you know this area, then?” I asked, breaking off chunks of a sandwich to feed to Charlie.
“Yes, been here many times,” he answered. “Sometimes for work, but often on holiday. I’m a Melbournian; we like to escape the dreary winter weather and be in the sun. Summers are hot in Melbourne, but the rest of the year is pretty dismal.”
“Yeah, it was cold at Amber and Finn’s wedding,” I replied. “I was a bit annoyed that she made me wear that cocktail dress with the spaghetti straps. I was freezing when we had the photos taken in the Gardens.”
“I didn’t notice,” Bryce replied, looking at me. “All I remember is how beautiful you looked in it.”
I blushed, looking down at my food. I hadn’t thought Bryce had noticed me much at all. He had asked me to dance at the reception, but I knew he had an agenda: he wanted me to say I would be his nanny.
I changed the subject, not wanting to go there. “Where are they honeymooning, again?”
“They went to Port Douglas,” he answered, still looking at me with that same intense look. I hadn’t fooled him, but he was willing to le
t it go. “Right at the very top of Queensland. It’s magic. Very tropical.” He paused. “I must take you there, some day.”
I nodded, not knowing what to say. It seemed unlikely. Why would we have any reason to go to this Port Douglas place, together? Charlie was getting restless, squirming on the hard picnic bench. I could tell he’d had enough to eat, and wanted to explore.
“I might take him to the playground,” I said, standing up. “Push him on the swing a bit.”
Bryce nodded, but I could tell he was disappointed. He seemed to be wanting something from me, something I wasn’t giving him. But what? I was only the nanny, after all. I had to keep telling myself that.
As I pushed Charlie on the swing, I felt confusion swirling all around me. Stay focused, I told myself fiercely. You know what he is like. And you will not be here forever.
But as I looked down on Charlie’s golden curls as he flew through the air, I felt my heart hit the ground along with the swing.
It was late afternoon by the time we got back to the mansion in Surfer’s Paradise.
Charlie had fallen asleep in the car, tired from his day out. Bryce carried him up the stairs to his bed. I got the picnic stuff out and started unpacking it.
“Would you like a glass of wine?”
I jumped. I hadn’t heard him approach.
I looked at him. “Should I? I’m still on duty. Charlie might wake any time.”
Bryce smiled. “I think a couple of wines won’t hurt, even if he did. I’m here as well. I’ll take care of him of when he wakes.”
I nodded, trying to hide my surprise. Bryce was really trying with Charlie. First, the day out. And now willing to take on the evening care duty.
“Really?” I said. “He’ll need a bath, and supper. Are you sure you’re up to it?”
He smiled, again. “I’ve been around kids before, Cara. I’m not totally useless.” He paused. “And he is my son, after all.”
We walked to the balcony with our drinks, sitting down to watch the surf. I could see surfers in the distance, trying to catch waves.
Bryce_Nanny’s Aussie Billionaire Page 3