I gripped her waist and pulled her in tight, driving into her, right to the hilt as I got closer to my release. I growled out as I came, holding back the ear-piercing sounds dying to break free from my chest. She whimpered during these last few powerful thrusts, and her walls clench around my cock, her body shaking as she came again. After a short while, I lowered my upper body on top of her. She wrapped her arms around my chest, letting her legs drop. We were both spent.
“That was so good,” she whispered in my ear.
“It was.”
“We should get up.”
I kissed her shoulder and lifted off. “I’m just getting started, Amanda.”
“There’s no time.”
“Dammit. Okay, but I’m taking you on the plane ride home.”
“Mmmm,” she moaned as we gathered our clothes and got dressed. “Sounds like fun.”
I pulled her into my arms when we had put all or clothes back on. “I want to bend you over and take you again right now, Amanda.”
“There’s no time, Johnny,” she said, smiling up at me, running her fingers through my hair. “You’re lucky no one has come looking for us.”
“So we’re good?” I asked.
“Yes. We’re good.”
“You have no idea how hard I’m going to work to make it up to you when we get back to LA.”
“You don’t have to. You don’t owe me anything.”
That sounded strange.
“Of course I do. I’ll do what it takes to earn your trust again. Whatever it takes.”
“You don’t need my trust, Johnny.”
“What do you mean?”
“Let’s just accept this for what it is. We have amazing sexual chemistry, and you’re great to hang out with.”
“Are you trying to tell me—”
She cut me off before I could finish. “Let’s not take it beyond that. It’s just a fling. Trust me, it’ll be simpler for both of us after this gig is done.”
My blood ran cold. My hands lost their grip around her waist. She kissed my cheek, whispering that she was looking forward to doing it again on the plane, and left my dressing room.
I scratched my head.
What the fuck just happened?
* * *
I worked with the sound crew again later on. Larry and Amanda stayed with me, and Fred briefed the security detail again. They had done another round of sweeps back stage. The curtains were finally closed and I went to wardrobe to get changed. I made a stop at the makeup artist’s room as well—that cut on the side of my head needed to be covered up. We were all ready. We waited backstage for the crew to do their final checks just before ticket holders began to arrive. Amanda stayed near me the entire time. She threw me off with this ‘It’s just a fling’ statement. I could barely think, never mind try to get my head in the game for performing.
She was wearing the same style of dress from the night before, except this one was a shade of red. I was just as turned on as I had been, but the confusion of what she told me added a different dimension. If she really meant what she said, I was back to square one.
Written off, just like that.
Just a fling.
Just sex.
Nothing more.
I watched her as she stood near my open dressing room door with Larry. Her walls were back up. It was worse than I thought.
The concert began with an opening act tonight to warm up the crowd, Eventually, the stage manager came back for us. We filed out to our waiting area backstage as the supporting act wrapped up. Moments later, the announcer came on and gave the standard introductory preamble, highlighting my career and life in a tidy thirty-second sound bite. The lights went low. It was time to go on. I shook my shoulders, trying to loosen up, but nothing helped. I was off my game.
I walked out onto the stage like broken Lorne—not rock star Johnny Q Venom.
The music started, the lights picked up, my cue came and went, and I stood there, frozen at center stage. The lights were too bright for me to see much past the first row. I assumed the sound manager was scrambling. The music restarted subtly. This time I got the cue and started singing. I saw Amanda in my periphery. She was dancing and lip-synching with the backup singers, on top of her game, unlike me.
I sang through the first song without any issue. On the second song, I missed a line and tried to make up for it by pointing to the audience to sing along. By the fourth song, I messed up part of the chorus and missed my hook to hit a low note at the end. For the crowd, the performance was seamless. For me, the band, Kevin, and certainly anyone who knows the music business, I bombed on stage. As the music for the last song started, I was actually hoping the stalker would show up to put me out of my misery. This was a first. The crowd was still completely engaged and excited, but I knew better.
I sucked ass tonight.
Throughout the performance, after my first glance back at Amanda, I refused to look at her again. It would only make it worse. The backup singers didn’t save me like they had at Whiskey River. After the last song before the break, the audience roared and whistled for more. I knew I had not earned it. I waved and left the stage, struggling to keep my head up and not let the shame double me over right there.
Larry, Kevin and Fred were waiting off stage, and took me back to my room. I heard Amanda calling to me from behind, but I kept walking. I didn’t stop until I was inside the dressing room. I pushed into the room with Kevin at my heels.
He said nothing for a while.
“If you’re going to scream at me, Kevin, you’d better wait outside.”
“The show’s not over, kiddo,” he said.
“I wish it were.”
“You recovered well, Lorne.”
“I sucked.”
“Yes you did, son. Don’t beat yourself up over it. It’s not the end of the world.”
“Look, I need some time to get it together. Can you give me a minute? Make sure there are no interruptions. Not even Amanda.”
He put a solid arm on my shoulders—his silent but firm show of support.
“Sure.”
I locked the door when he left, grabbing a bottle of water. I drank it all and sat in the sofa to mentally prepare myself—for real this time.
Chapter 9 - Amanda
Johnny returned to the stage and performed a phenomenal second half of the concert. Personally, I thought the first half was fine, except for the minor stumble when he missed his cue at the beginning. His crew and the backup singers felt differently, and were positive he was having a breakdown. They made a point of keeping it to themselves, although for some reason, they didn’t notice me standing in the hallway backstage while they gossiped in the green room.
Johnny would have nothing to do with me on the drive to the airport, or the plane ride home. I tried to corner him on the plane when he went to use the bathroom, but he brushed me off and said he needed some space.
He did not like the idea of casual sex with me.
His loss.
All I knew was my heart was not going to be put out there for him to deceive me again.
Chapter 10 - Johnny
I had tossed and turned the entire night after we flew back to LA. I told myself she was lying, putting up a front to make me see how much I hurt her. What we had shared was not a casual thing, and there was no way in hell I would let her try to convince me of that. It was hard to say no to her on the flight back last night, but it had to be done. I banged enough girls for the sake of fun and killing time. Amanda was not going to get rolled into that long list.
She was mine.
If I had to wait for her to see it for herself, then that was what I had to do.
Just a fling. Yeah, right.
I got up late the next day, got dressed and headed to the kitchen for coffee. As I walked in from the back entryway, I watched Amanda disappear into the living room. Her words stung again, hitting inside my chest like a raw nerve. Fred and Jenny were having breakfast, but I was not in the mood for
talking. I told them good morning, got my coffee and retreated to the back porch.
Chapter 11 - Amanda
The day after our flight home was awkward. Johnny had spent most of the day on the back porch or in his bedroom. His door was closed all day, and the one time I went to see how he was doing, he grumbled something, and told me to stay away from him until I came to my senses.
Wow.
Later in the evening, the housekeeper started to prepare dinner. He had not come down for meals, and my curiosity got to me. I still had a job to do, which involved making sure he was safe and secure. I slipped from my spot in the living room and went up to let him know dinner was ready.
“What?” Came his muffled reply from inside after I knocked on the door.
“It’s Amanda. Are you coming down for dinner?”
I heard some shuffling before his door opened.
“What?” he repeated, standing inches from me. His eyes narrowed as he looked at me. He was not a happy camper.
I looked up at his forehead. “Are you all right? How’s your head?”
He turned slightly so I could see the mark on his temple. It was red and smooth, but the swelling had gone down. I reached up and traced a finger over the skin.
He flinched away from my touch. “I’m fine, Amanda.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to see a doctor?”
“I said I’m fine,” he barked.
“Okay.”
We stared at each other briefly before he looked away.
“Listen,” I started, certain I needed to break the icy silence to say what needed to be said. “I hope there are no hard feelings about last night.”
“I don’t accept it, but I get it.”
“Johnny, I’m trying to make this work. Remember when you said we could be friends?”
“That was before…”
“Before what?”
Johnny looked over my shoulder. “Come in. I don’t want to have a conversation like this standing in a doorway.”
I hesitated before taking a step. It seemed too intimate, too personal, too close to go into his room now. I knew where this could end—with Johnny fucking me senseless in his bed, thinking we could have more, when we no longer could. He was clear about not wanting anything casual with me. On top of that, considering how I really felt, and how fast my heart started to race, he might as well have asked me to bear his firstborn.
Taking my hand, he pulled me inside and closed the door. Johnny turned to face me as I stood near his sofa.
“So tell me. Before what?” I asked.
“Christ…do I have to tell you?”
“Yes. I think you do.”
He sat beside me and took my hands in his. “Before you said you were mine, Amanda.”
He paused. My heart stopped.
“I don’t want to lose you.”
“I think friendship is best,” I told him.
“No.”
“You don’t want to be friends?”
“I can’t do this ‘just friends’ bullshit with you. I won’t torture myself like that. Plus, I don’t want anything casual with you…”
“I’m sorry you feel that way,” I said.
“I know I messed up. I’ll do whatever you want to make it up to you. Why is that not enough?”
“It just isn’t.”
“You can’t give me another chance?”
“It’s not a good idea.”
“Jesus! Why do you have to be like this?”
He stood up and began to pace. I was ready to walk out. I didn’t need to rehash this over and over again. He returned to me and kneeled on the floor, taking my hands again.
“I have feelings for you, Amanda. Real feelings. They’re not because of seeing you fight, or following your career, or any of that. Sure, I’m still a big fan of yours—”
“Johnny, come on. Let’s get real. You’re the celebrity here, not me.” I laughed, shocked he thought of me that way.
“I’m still a fan, Amanda. Always was, always will be…So yes, I asked Kevin to hire you for this job. It was not a random thing. Kevin checked out your experience before bringing you out here. You earned this gig. I didn’t expect we’d have this connection, but we do.” He cupped my chin with one hand, looking deeply into my eyes. He was so serious and intense, and I wanted to look away. I could not break from his gaze.
“I want more now.”
“But I—”
He stopped my lips by placing his on mine, swallowing up my next sentence in a heart-stopping kiss. Each tiny movement of his lips, and his tongue tasting me sent sparks through my body. He electrified me, lighting me up from the inside out. It was intoxicating and addictive and…
Wrong.
I pulled back before it could go further.
“We can’t keep doing this.”
“Why not?”
“Because you want more…and I don’t. Trust me. I’m doing you a favor.”
“How is pushing me away doing me a favor? Tell me.”
“Do you really want to know?”
“Yes. Tell me.”
“I could stay and let you fuck me, and please me, and make my body come over and over, Johnny. For one week. It will only be great sex. Nothing more. I’ll end up hurting you when I leave.”
It hurt me to be that brutally honest, and I was certain it hurt him more. I couldn’t bear to look at him anymore.
I pulled away and practically ran out of his room.
* * *
My great escape from Johnny’s room took me down the stairs and into Fred’s guest office. I asked if they would keep an eye on him. He and Larry agreed, so I went back to my room and changed into my running gear. I had to get some air. I ran for over an hour. The brisk run in the cool night air helped clear my head and exhaust my body. I finally felt confident that if I got into bed, I could sleep, instead of lying awake for hours obsessing over my stance with Johnny.
While I had been running, I reminded myself of the business plan I left sitting on my desk back in Miami. Soon I would get back home and see my friends, sleep in my own bed, get back to my gym and return to my normal routine. Everything I had been missing over the past weeks. I figured that if I kept focused on all the things to look forward to, eventually, the pain of taking such a hard line would go away.
Eventually.
It didn’t help much. I was kidding myself. Leaving LA would not be easy, but my mind was made up.
The house was quiet when I got inside. I went upstairs to have a quick shower, changed into a comfortable sweat suit, and took the back stairs down to the kitchen to look for leftovers from dinner. There were three covered plates in the fridge— the housekeeper had become used to Johnny and his guests eating outside of the normal schedule. I took one out and heated it in the microwave. I ate quickly, and returned upstairs to go through my nighttime routine—brushing my teeth, flossing, and as I was going to sleep alone, piling my hair up into a topknot.
Before I slipped in between the sheets, because it was still my job, I decided I would check in on Johnny. I went across the hall and knocked.
Chapter 12 - Amanda
“Amanda?” came his muffled voice from the other side of the door.
“Yes.”
“Come in.”
He sat up in bed when I stepped in. The blankets slid down to reveal his smooth, bare chest.
Geez. I didn’t need to see him like that.
“I’m checking in on you before I head to bed.”
“All’s fine in here,” he said softly, getting up to come to the door—in just his black, satin boxers. “Have a good night, Amanda.”
“Goodnight, Johnny.”
He stood at the door as I turned to leave. I hesitated for a split second. That was just enough time, it seemed. All my resolve disappeared when I turned back to face him. My fingers could not resist running down the hard muscles of his chest, admiring every line and curve of his perfectly defined pecs. He drew in a sharp breath when they skim
med across his nipple.
“Amanda. What are you—” Johnny said, stilling my hand, stopping my fingers from exploring his perfect body.
“Shhh,” I whispered, pressing my fingertip to his lips. “I want to compromise.”
He shook his head, but held my palm on his chest. “I don’t see any middle ground here, Amanda.”
“I’ll be yours. For the week.”
“That’s no different from what you wanted earlier.”
“Of course it’s different.”
“How?”
“It won’t just be a casual thing. I'm not making any promises about after the week is up, because I’ll be heading back to Miami. The difference is I’m giving you another chance. I won’t shut you out anymore.”
He looked at me, quietly processing it.
“Can we do this?”
My question hung between us for a moment. He answered by lifting my hand to his lips and forming a kiss against my fingers. It sent sparks across my body. He grabbed my wrist and made a point of kissing each finger. He opened his mouth and drew lazy but intensely suggestive circles along the palm of my hand with his tongue. I closed my eyes, enjoying his sizzling touch.
I needed him—physically. Being with him, like this, was the only thing that made sense.
He moved in close.
“Of course,” he whispered in my ear, nibbling on my earlobe.
“Johnny,” I moaned, feeling the heat pool between my legs. “I need you. Now.”
Without another word, he pulled me in past the doorway. He tugged at the fabric of my shirt. I pulled it up over my head, revealing my naked breasts, loving the way he held my eyes for one more beat before dropping them to my exposed breasts.
“God, Amanda, you’re so beautiful.” His voice thickened with emotion.
He leaned in and kissed me slowly. His lips pressed to mine lightly at first, but need and desire overtook us both. We clung together, letting the kiss deepen until he pushed my lips apart and his tongue entered my mouth. He kissed me as if it was the first time.
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