I haven’t met Clara yet, but I like her. Or at least her taste in clothes. Although the scrap of material she calls underwear is not my taste. It’s cute though. Lacy and delicate. Dom would shred it easily. My thighs clench thinking of him ripping through it and taking me again. I bite my bottom lip and scold myself. I know I’m trying to distract myself from everything that happened today, but that kind of behavior wouldn’t be wise.
The doctor left Dom my pills. I took another codeine and a Valium and I’m not in much pain at all now. Other than my ribs being a bit sore making my way down the stairs. I have to wince through the pain, but other than that, there’s nothing. I feel too relaxed. I wish I hadn’t taken the Valium; it makes me tired.
A small smile plays on my lips as I hear Jax laughing. We round the corner of the hall to a large open living room. And there he is, with a monster truck in hand standing on the back of the sofa about to push it down a ramp of cushions. It warms my heart all the way down to my toes. My little man. Relief floods through me. Thank God.
In that moment I feel so much gratitude for Dom. Emotions well in my chest and I push them away. My hand reaches for Dom’s and I squeeze. I don’t know why. But it’s all I can do. He gives my hand a squeeze back and looks at me with curiosity.
I know I’m in this shit because of him. I’m painfully aware of how fucking stupid I was. And even more so of how Rick is why I’m in this shit in the first place. But he didn’t have to help me. He didn’t have to make sure Jax was safe. He didn’t have to come rescue me. I can’t fucking help the tears running down my face. It’s just too much for me to handle. To much for me to accept. I push my back against the wall and try to calm myself. Jax is just around the corner after all; I don’t want him to see me like this.
“You alright, doll?” Dom brushes my tears away with his thumb. He looks like he doesn’t know what to do. And that makes me laugh. I must look fucking crazy. Crying out of no where and then laughing at him. Maybe I am crazy at this point. Maybe this was all I could take. Judging by the look on Dom’s face, he may be thinking I’ve lost it too.
“I’m okay. I could be better, but I’m okay.” I finally answer. I wipe my tears and look down at my fingers to make sure I haven’t fucked up the concealer. Nothing. They’re clean. This is some good shit to withstand tears.
I push myself off the wall and, to my surprise, Dom wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me into him. His embrace is warm and comforting. I shouldn’t like it so much. He’s practically a stranger and definitely a dangerous man. I lean into him knowing all of that. I just need it.
As soon as I round the corner and Jax catches a glimpse of me, I kneel down and open my arms for him.
“Mommy!” He yells out, dropping the truck and running to me. It hurts when he slams into my chest, but I don’t care. It feels so good just to hold him. I kiss his forehead and just hold him until he starts to push me away.
“Do you see trucks?” He runs back over to the pile of cushions and collects the truck to hold it up for me to see. “So big mommy!” I can’t speak, just looking at him has me too emotional to function, so I nod my head and make sure I’m smiling.
There’s another little boy jumping on the cushion-less sofa. Olive complexion with dark brown eyes and a faux Mohawk. He’s grinning from ear to ear like he can hardly stand the anticipation of the drop.
“That’s Gino,” Dom huffs a small laugh at the little boy.
“Is he your nephew?” I ask.
“Basically.” I think that’s all I’m going to get, but then he continues. “Jimmy’s my cousin, but we grew up together. We’re all close.” I nod as though I understand, but I don’t. I don’t know what that’s like. “You’ll meet him tonight. Clara’s gone already and Vince only comes home for Saturday and Sunday dinners.”
An older woman, maybe in her fifties, walks into the room from the kitchen. Her dark black hair with grey streaks is pulled into a chignon bun. Trailing her is the sweet smell of white wine and shrimp. I can only imagine she’s cooking up shrimp scampi or something else that smells just as good. My mouth waters as I lick my lips.
“Hi Becca. I’m Linda, Dom’s Ma.” she wipes her hands on a small kitchen towel and walks over to us on the other side of the room. I expect a handshake, but instead I’m greeted with a gentle hug. She looks over my face with a sad smile. “Would you like anything to drink?” It’s not the question I anticipate. But then I remember Dom’s warning about not asking questions.
I gently shake my head, “I’m fine, thank you.”
“You say that a lot you know?” He looks down at me with a quizzical look on his face.
Linda interrupts our moment. “Shrimp scampi for dinner, it’s almost ready.” I knew it! She says the last bit with a teasing tone. We have shrimp scampi at my bistro. It’s one of my favorite dishes. The reminder of the restaurant makes my gut sink. Dom still has my phone.
“I need my phone.” I’m blunt and I hope he doesn’t push me on this. I have a PA that theoretically could handle everything but in reality she constantly relies on me.
“Who are you going to call?” At first I’m pissed off at his question and then I see the threat in his eyes. The cops.
“Not calling anyone; I just want to check on my business.” He reaches into his pocket and holds it out for me. As I reach for it, he pulls back.
“Kiss first.” He turns his cheek to me. I roll my eyes, but stand on my tip toes and plant a kiss on his cheek. For some reason his playfulness makes me feel lighter. And then I look at the phone and see all the messages. 4 missed calls and 32 messages. Fuck. I sigh heavily and start with the texts, but the bottom one catches my eyes.
All taken care of. No worries. Just feel better! 7:14
I stare at the screen with confusion until Dom answers my unspoken question.
“I text her and told her you’d be out of commission and gave her the number of our manager in case she needed help.”
“Thank you.” I can’t imagine it’s that easy though. I read through the the messages, searching for something that she didn’t write back and say was fixed. Nothing. She did everything without me today.
He holds out his hand for the phone back.
I purse my lips. “I don’t like that.”
He leans in close to answer, “after what you said upstairs I’m nervous that you’re going to do something stupid.”
I shake my head, “I won’t. I don’t know why I said it.”
“I do.” He says while taking my phone and putting it back in his pocket.
“What the hell does that mean?” I do. Like he knows me like that.
“I told you to watch that tone doll. I’m trying to go easy on you, but you can only push so much.” The threat in his voice does all the wrong things to me. So I simply turn away from him and focus on the two little men playing with their toys and are completely unaware of what’s happened today.
Dinner has been … telling. Jax is happy and playing with Gino. The men, Jimmy Dom and Dom’s father, Dante, have been joking and carrying on and playing with the kids. Even Linda’s been poking fun at her husband. Almost like today never happened. Like they weren’t at a shootout. I’m not sure it’s perfectly healthy, but I like it. I appreciate it. I don’t want to wallow. I want to move on as quickly as possible.
I lean back slightly in the chair and lick the last bit of white wine butter sauce from my fingers. Linda knows how to cook, that’s for damn sure. I’ve been quiet all dinner except for the dozen times I’ve commented on her food. Jax likes it too, which makes me happy since he hardly ever actually eats anything. I swear he lives off fruit snacks and apple juice.
Dom puts his hand on my thigh and squeezes. A sense of family and belonging that I haven’t felt in so long overwhelms me. I watch him as he smiles and makes a face at Gino. Is this what it would be like, if what was between us was more? Is that even an option? I never gave it a thought. Never considered it. A man like him doesn’t settle down. But this
feels so right.
No, what am I thinking? I could’ve died today because of him. A lump grows in my throat as I look at Jax smiling and bumping shoulders with Gino. I could never let this happen. As soon as Dom gives me the chance to leave, I’m going to take it. I can’t allow Jax to grow up like this. Not with mobsters.
The lump grows thicker, threatening to choke me so I reach for my glass and try to calm myself.
“You look a little shaken.” A sweet, low whisper of concern comes from my left.
I give Dom’s mother a tight smile, “I’m fine.”
Dom looks at me from the corner of his eyes with a frown and runs his hand down my thigh.
“I know I shouldn’t ask, but if you’d like to talk I’m here for you.” I half expect the room to go silent, but Dom and the guys continue to joke and talk in the background. It’s almost like white noise. Linda’s light blue eyes are the same as Dom’s and they draw me in, offering me a place to confide.
“I don’t know how you do it.”
“Do what, dear?”
“This.” I barely speak the word. I don’t know how you can be married to the mob. I can’t just come out and say that, but after a short moment she seems to understand.
“Some days I don’t either. But I love my family. We’re all good people.” I stare at her as she takes another bite of shrimp. Are they? I highly doubt it, but then again I know nothing about it. I chance a question.
“What do they do?” I ask her with a low voice. The men continue their conversation and a bellow of laughs surround me.
“What do you mean?” She tilts her head in confusion.
“I mean, like, what is it that they do?”
Her eyes widen and her eyebrows raise. “Well, now. I don’t ask those kinds of questions and neither should you. But, I do happen to know that the bistro pulls in a hefty amount of money.” I stare at her considering her words. She can’t possibly believe that owning the bistro is all they do. Drugs and guns and murder. That’s what the mob does.
“When you love someone, it’s amazing what you’d do for them.” She gives me a warm smile, “one day I’ll have to tell you how Dante and I met. I’m sure you haven’t heard a story like ours before.” Her blue eyes twinkle with happiness. “I love my family.”
I consider her words. There’s no doubt she does. There’s obvious warmth and love in the room. But I could never raise my son like this. I feel like an asshole for judging her. And a hypocrite for fucking Dom and feeling so much for him so quickly. But this could never be my reality. Jax deserves a better chance at life. A good life. Not a life in the mob.
This is temporary. I have to make sure this doesn’t last.
Dom
I thought things were going well. And then she started talking to Ma. Her little boy is in the back, so I’m not going to question her on the drive back to my house, but as soon as we get alone, I wanna know what’s gotten into her head.
She looks so beautiful, leaning her head against the car door sleeping. So peaceful. Peaceful is the right word. She’s got faint wrinkles around her eyes and I know it’s from her stressing out. She’s type A personality without a doubt. I am too, but I don’t let it run me into the ground like she does.
But then again, I didn’t have the shitty luck she’s been having. It’s hard to believe a man would cheat on her. If I had to guess why, my guess would be money. His business had just failed. That and she was making more than him. Maybe he felt emasculated. I don’t know and don’t really give a shit why. He was a fucking idiot for cheating on her. And for leaving her.
I turn the wheel up the drive and park in the garage as usual. It feels different though. I take a peak over my shoulder and her little boy is passed out just like her. I don’t want to wake either of them so I silently slip out of my seat and gently close the door. I go around to Jax’s door and carefully pull him out, letting his head rest on my shoulder. It’s odd carrying a sleeping child. He’s light and limp. Probably drooling on my shirt. I stifle my chuckle and carry him into the house.
I have a guest room upstairs that’ll be perfect for him. It’s right next door to my room so I’m sure we’ll hear him if he wakes up. I lay him down nice and gentle and hold my breath while he readjusts and snuggles into the mattress. I really don’t need this kid waking up and freaking out.
I turn around and Becca nearly scares the shit out of me. My heart tries to jump up my fucking throat and my blood shoots up with adrenaline. She’s standing there rubbing her eyes in the door way. I’m happy she has them closed too because my instinct was to reach for my gun. I tuck it back into the holster and casually walk towards her like she didn’t almost give me a heart attack.
“Bed time, doll.” I wrap my arm around her waist and pull her out of the room, but she resists me. I look down at her wide, frightened eyes with a confused look.
“I don’t want to leave him alone.” Oh fuck that. She’s sleeping with me. He sleeps alone at her place; he’ll be fine here.
“He’s already passed out, doll.” I tug on her waist again. She takes a look at him and then back to me before pulling away from me. She strolls over to him and I wait in the doorway. I hold back on everything until I know for sure what she’s doing.
She leans over him and pets his hair before giving him a small kiss on the forehead. “Good night my baby boy; I love you.” I just barely hear her.
She rises slowly, not taking her eyes off of him, before coming back to my side. “Good girl.”
As soon as we get to the bedroom she looks around like she’s lost. Like she’s a nervous virgin. I like that she’s a bit frightened. I like that I can take her control away. She’ll learn to love it. I’ll show her how good it can be when someone else is in charge.
I stroll to my dresser and grab a white tee shirt for her to wear for the night. I should go downstairs and grab all her shit. But I don’t feel like it and she’ll look good in my shirt anyway. It’s that or she can go naked. I’m fine either way. When I look up to toss her the shirt, she’s standing by the nightstand digging through her purse.
“Whatcha looking for doll?” I ask, walking up behind her.
“My pills.” Her answer makes my body go cold. I don’t like that she takes medication. I understand she’s wound tight and going through some shit, but I don’t like it. She grabs a bottle and pops the lid.
“Which one is that?” It wasn’t my business before, but now she’s in my care, so I want to know everything.
“Codeine.” She says while palming a single pill.
Shit, I feel like an asshole for thinking like that. Like she shouldn’t be taking medicine. Given what she’s been through it’s amazing she’s doing everything that she is.
“I’ll get you a glass of water babe.” I jog down the stairs so I can get back to her quickly. Guilt weighs down on my shoulders. She wouldn’t be in pain if it wasn’t for me.
When I get back to her she’s sitting on the bed, looking down at her bare feet and wearing the shirt I gave her. She has a sad look on her face. I can’t even begin to guess what’s causing it. There’s so much shit she has to deal with.
She takes the glass with a grateful smile and quickly swallows the pain meds.
I sit on the bed next to her and take a deep breath. I’ve been holding off on talking. It’s what we do in the family. You don’t talk about shit. It’s done and over with and you move on. And sure as shit don’t discuss any business in front of women. But this is different. She’s involved. She’s hurt. I need to understand what’s going on in her head in order to help her.
“Tell me what hurts, doll?” I start with an easy question.
She gives me a weak smile, “I’m f-” She stops her word and bites her bottom lip while smiling.
“You think that’s funny?” I shake my head. It’s a little funny that she always says she’s fine, but not really. Cause she’s not fine.
“I’m alright, Dom.” I turn my body towards her and run my finger over the
small bruise showing through her make up.
“Take all this off so I can look at you.” I know she’s roughed up. And that there’s more to her injuries than just physical. I’m gonna start with the bruises, then work my way to everything else.
She stares back at me for a minute with a blank look, like the one she gave me earlier and for a second I think I’m gonna have to remind her that she needs to listen to me. She swallows and gets up heading for the open bathroom door to my en suite. I follow a few steps behind her. I’ll set her up with the steam room as soon as I get a good look at her. It’ll help her muscles. I should know. I’ve gotten the shit kicked out of me a few times and the steam always helps relieve the soreness.
I hear her gasp when she turns on the light, and that makes me smile. My place is pretty fucking sweet. I didn’t hold back on the upgrades. Her bare feet make a soft patting noise as she walks across the travertine floor to the floating marble vanity. The sink itself is carved out of the marble and I can tell she’s impressed. She turns to take in the room. The river rock shower takes up the back half of the room, with glass doors that separate it from the rest of the bathroom. There’s a comfortable bench inside where she can lounge while the steam goes to work on her body. In the center of the room is a rustic, bowl soak in tub also made of stone. She walks slowly to it and runs her hand along the dark grey edge.
“You wanna soak a bit, doll?” She startles when my low voice seems to echo off the walls of the large bathroom. She looks at me with wide eyes and then stares at the tiled floor. “I thought you might wanna lay in the steam room, but a soak in the tub would be nice too.” I still have some of that sea salt for healing. Not the shit that stings, but the good stuff. I take a step towards her and she takes a step back.
“What’s gotten into you, doll?” She’s wearing that same guarded expression from dinner. I don’t fucking like it.
“How…” She struggles to ask whatever’s on her mind. Whatever her question is, it can’t be good. There’s a reason we don’t like the women asking question. We don’t want them involved in this shit, it makes them a target. There’s usually an understanding about this. Women stay out of it.
Dirty Dom: Valetti Crime Family (A Bad Boy Mafia Romance) Page 11