“Jana,” he said, the word almost foreign to his tongue. He might have thought about her a few dozen—or a few hundred—times, but it had been years since he’d actually spoken her name. “Uh, thanks for stopping. I’m kind of in a bind here.” He motioned toward the open hood of his truck, as if it weren’t obvious.
Jana stopped a few feet from him, and he could swear he smelled raspberries. Folding her arms, her gaze slid past him to the engine of the truck.
Yep. She still had those dusky hazel eyes. And those freckles that he’d tried to count one time.
“What seems to be the problem?”
Knox rubbed at the perspiration forming on the back of his neck. Had he been sweating before she pulled over? She wasn’t looking at him, but that didn’t seem to matter. It was still early in the morning, but it felt as if the noonday sun was beating upon him. “I don’t exactly know, but I’m hoping it’s a U-joint.”
Jana’s hazel eyes shifted to him once again. Her gaze flickered down, then up.
Was she checking him out?
“You need a ride into town to get that part?” she asked, her arms folded, her jawline tight. But no matter how tense she acted, her lips still looked soft.
Knox blinked. “That would be great, ma’am. Unless you’re in a hurry. I can wait for the next person to come along.”
Jana’s brows lifted. “The only other person who might come along this morning is Bud McIverson, and he’s gone before the roosters crow.” She turned then and began walking toward her SUV. “If you’re coming with me, put a shirt on.”
Knox stared after her, then he felt laughter bubble in his chest. The shirt was no problem. Not at all. He dropped the hood of his truck, then reached into the open driver’s side window and snatched the button-down he’d discarded in favor of keeping it semi-clean while he checked out his truck’s engine. It wasn’t like he was staying in a fancy hotel with a laundry room.
The SUV was already running when he climbed into the passenger seat. Sitting this close to Jana confirmed what he’d smelled. “Been picking raspberries?”
Jana didn’t answer for a moment as she pulled on the road.
In fact, as the silence stretched between them, Knox wondered if he should just drop the small talk and come right out with his question.
But then, she said, “I’m making raspberry jam.”
Knox looked over at her, surprised. “That’s very domestic of you.” He used to tease her about not ever having any desire to cook or bake.
Her gaze didn’t move from the road ahead of them. “It’s a business. My parents. They live in San Antonio now, and I fill the orders.”
Knox hadn’t expected any of this. Jana had been the kind of girl who was always reading a book in high school. So much so, it had affected her grades, or at least that’s what her parents had accused her of. If he remembered right, her older sister had been valedictorian or something.
“Huh, that’s great,” he said. “Do you like it? I never thought you’d be a baker—or whatever it’s called. A jam-maker?”
She looked at him then, and her hazel eyes were cool. Almost frosty.
“Whoa,” he said. “What did I say wrong?”
“Sometimes, people do things because it’s the right thing to do,” she said. “Not because they want to. Never mind, you wouldn’t understand.”
Knox frowned. “What do you mean by that?”
Jana stepped on the brake, and instead of answering his question, she said, “Here’s your stop.”
Knox looked out his window. They were at the mechanic shop. “Thanks for the ride and all. But can you tell me why you don’t think I’d understand?”
Jana seemed to be debating something, then she looked at him again. This time, the frostiness was gone, only to be replaced by something else… hurt?
“You always did what you wanted, Knox,” she said. “I mean, everyone thought you were cool for not caring what others hoped for you. I guess I was one who fell for your charm and your don’t-give-a-crap attitude. You made everything look so easy, so fun and entertaining. But after high school, the real world kicked in. For me, at least. Not for you, obviously.”
Knox narrowed his eyes. “That’s pretty harsh coming from someone who made her own decisions without thinking of anyone but herself.”
Jana put the SUV into park, although the engine was still idling. “What are you even talking about?”
“I’m talking about you getting pregnant and not telling me.”
Jana’s mouth opened. Then closed. A red stain creeped up her neck.
Knox felt sick all over again. He’d felt sick when Aaron told him about Jana getting rid of her baby—a baby that could only be his. And he was pretty sure that played into his determination to marry Macie when she became pregnant. Not that he wanted to think about any of that now. This had been a mistake. He shouldn’t have brought up the past. He couldn’t change it, anyway. And the hurt and pain in Jana’s eyes only mirrored that in his gut.
Knox reached for the door handle. “Sorry for bothering you.” But before he opened the door, Jana grasped his arm.
“Who told you I was pregnant?” she said, her voice shaky.
Knox didn’t even want to look at her right now. “It doesn’t matter now.”
“Knox, tell me,” she said, her voice stronger, sharper now. “Who told you?”
It was a long time ago, yeah, but he’d never forget. “Aaron Bushnell.”
Jana released his arm. “Wow… I can’t believe—”
“Your little secret got out?” Knox cut in. “You know this is a small town, for better or for worse. It doesn’t matter who told me. That has nothing to do with it.” Now, he was just plain angry again, and he faced her, not caring that she looked pale beneath the reddening of her face. “But it makes me sick that you wouldn’t tell me. Didn’t even give me a choice. Yet, you went ahead and got rid of the baby, anyway.”
Jana blinked. “What?”
“I’m done here.” Knox reached for the door and bailed out of the SUV.
“Knox!” she called after him, climbing out of the SUV.
He stopped, but didn’t turn around.
“I was never pregnant,” she said, her voice quiet, pained. “It was a false alarm. Aaron must have overheard me say something to Barb or Patsy. His locker was right next to ours.”
Knox’s heart felt like it had been taken out of his chest and stomped on. He didn’t know if it was still beating or not. How was this possible? For years, he’d lived with so much animosity against Jana, only to find out…
He spun around. “It wasn’t just Aaron who told me, it was—”
“Briggs?”
Knox exhaled. “Yeah.”
Jana wiped at tears on her cheeks. “Figures. And it figures you’d believe those idiots. You could have asked me, you know. Called me up on the phone. Come over to my house.”
“I tried to talk to you,” Knox said. “More than once.”
“When?” Jana said, but didn’t wait for him to answer. “But what should I expect? You’re Knox Prosper. God of the high school, with every girl chasing after you. When you told me you liked me, really liked me, I believed you. And that was my mistake.”
She turned and climbed back into the SUV. Before Knox could fully process their conversation and the horrible revelation of how gossip had twisted both of their lives, she’d driven off. And he was pretty sure she wasn’t coming back.
Jana parked behind the grocery store and rested her forehead on the steering wheel. She couldn’t very well walk into the grocery store with her face streaked with tears. At least she hadn’t been wearing makeup. After all these years, and all this time, Knox had thought such a huge lie about her. It was so ridiculous that it was laughable, but since it was happening to her, there was nothing to laugh about.
She remembered the day she’d bought the pregnancy test. She’d gone to the next town because she was too mortified to get it in Prosper. When it came back negative,
she’d sobbed out her relief, then determined that the one-time interlude with Knox would be her last. She didn’t want to be a knocked-up teenager, and there was no way she’d go to any doctor who might know her parents to ask for birth control. Besides, she was pretty sure Knox wasn’t the father type.
She’d been more right than she could have ever known then. According to Barb, he was hardly a part of his daughter’s life, and he’d been a terrible husband to Macie. It seemed that Jana had lucked out after all.
If so, then why did she feel so terrible now? Yeah, it was tough to think that Knox believed a lie all these years, but really, it was probably a good thing. If they’d talked back in high school, and he’d found out the truth, they probably would have kept dating. And Jana would be the one with an ex-husband now.
She took a deep breath, then released it. Yes, she was lucky. She’d dodged a bullet, as they said. There was nothing to cry about. She could let the pain go now. Knox had answered her question, and now that she knew what had happened to make him break up with her, she could move on.
No longer shackled to a wall of unanswered questions, life could only get better. Right?
Jana checked her appearance in the mirror. Not great, but not terrible, either. She pulled out the spare foundation powder she kept in her purse and smoothed some on. There. Her crying was hardly noticeable now. She’d be in and out of the store in a jiffy, and besides, her car was the only one here this early in the morning.
Ten minutes later, Jana was back in her SUV, having only encountered Trista, the teenage cashier who was putting in summer hours. So far, so good. Jana pulled onto Main Street, drove through town, then turned onto the road that would take her back home. She wasn’t all that delayed after all. Making the pickup time wouldn’t be a big deal, and she wouldn’t have to call and put them off.
She instinctively put her foot on the brake when she saw a man walking up ahead. This time, Jana wasn’t fooled. She knew exactly who it was. It seemed that Knox had gotten his truck part, judging by the sack that he carried. Because she’d been the one to pick him up, she knew he still had a way to go before he reached his truck. And he could walk. It was good exercise, right?
She continued driving past him, and he glanced over as she did so. When he lifted his hand in a wave—a wave goodbye, of course—something in Jana’s chest jolted. He’d been hurt, too. Despite all the ill thoughts she’d had of him for a very long time, he’d gone through similar emotions. He thought she’d gone behind his back and done something serious without bothering to consult or tell him.
Before Jana knew it, she’d pressed on the brakes and stopped. She closed her eyes and breathed out. Why was she extending the olive branch? She’d have to analyze it later, but for now, she was going with her gut.
She rolled down the passenger side window as Knox approached. She tried not to notice the definition of his tanned forearms as he rested them on the window.
“Must be my lucky day,” he said, his green eyes locked on hers.
The softness of his tone cut through her misgivings about stopping. He was grateful, that was clear.
“Get in before I change my mind,” she said.
“Yes, ma’am.” Knox popped open the door; a second later, he was sitting next to her, making the interior of the SUV seem extremely small.
His long legs barely fit in the space, and his shoulders were broad enough to nearly touch hers. But she wasn’t checking him out or noticing his scent of sage and the outdoors. If there was one thing that hadn’t changed about Knox Prosper, it was that he never put on airs. He didn’t wear cologne, didn’t wear fancy shirts, didn’t wear any sort of jewelry. He didn’t need it. And the whiskers on his chin added another dimension. His raw masculinity was appealing enough.
Stop, Jana.
She started driving, hating how her stomach was all fluttery. “Got what you needed?” she said, not because she necessarily wanted to have a conversation with him, but because she had to say something to keep her thoughts from straying where they shouldn’t.
“I hope so,” Knox said, opening his sack. He pulled out a U-joint. “Bill seemed to think this will fix it.”
Jana nodded. His truck was in sight, just up ahead. “And you know how to put it in?”
Knox chuckled, and despite any walls Jana had put up, the sound made her all melty. “Between Bill’s crash course explanation and YouTube, I’m counting on it. I’ve already had to forfeit my practice time at the arena this morning, so now I have plenty of time.”
Jana glanced over at him as she slowed down behind his truck. “Can you do it later today?”
“Nope.” Knox set the U-joint back into the sack and reached for the door handle. “I’ll just have to go tomorrow.” He popped open the door. “Thanks for this. I appreciate the ride, both ways. And I’m sorry about… earlier. For all of it. For not finding out for myself and believing two guys I knew were yahoos to begin with.”
Jana’s throat had gone tight. “I’m sorry, too,” she whispered.
Their gazes held. His green eyes were filled with sincerity, regret, sorrow… things she’d never expected to see from him. Not in her wildest hopes.
Knox touched the brim of his hat and climbed out. He shut the door, then strode to his truck. Jana didn’t move. She didn’t pull away. She merely watched him as he popped the hood of his truck and set to work.
“Damn it,” she muttered, then climbed out of the car. “Hey, Knox. If that can wait, you can use my car to get to the arena. Just drop me off at home. I’m making jam all morning, so I won’t need it.”
He turned slowly, his gaze finding hers where she stood like a nervous school girl giving out her first valentine.
“Ah, that’s sweet of you to offer, Jana,” he said. “But I don’t want to impose. I think we both know you’d like to roast me to a blackened crisp over a fire.”
Jana blinked, then she felt a smile grow. A very traitorous smile. “You wouldn’t be wrong there, Knox. But I can put my agenda off for another day.”
His lips quirked, then he grinned. “Well, I’ll be.” He turned and shut the hood, then he headed her way.
Jana allowed herself a few stolen seconds to admire the cowboy striding toward her. No matter the years and heartache that had passed, Knox Prosper was a beautiful man. On the outside, of course, and something else was peeking through as well. A softer side of him. One that she’d seen in high school when it was just the two of them. He’d always been cocky around everyone else. Perhaps a person could change. Life had a way of knocking you down until you did change.
But right now, with his easy stride, his long legs in those well-worn jeans, the shirt not doing much to hide his sculpted torso created by years of hard rodeo work, the strong line of his jaw, and the quirk of those lips she’d once known so well… Refocus, Jana. Show’s over.
She slid back into her seat, and when Knox was settled next to her, she drove the rest of the way to her house. Once she parked, she couldn’t get out of the SUV fast enough. Before Knox could say anything, she grabbed the jars from the back seat and said, “You know where to find me. Good luck with everything.”
Then she hurried toward the house, feeling Knox’s gaze on her.
“Thanks again,” he called after her.
But she didn’t turn around. She only waved, then walked into the house and shut the door. Leaning against the door, she kept her eyes closed and her body still until she heard him drive away.
Jana opened her eyes, went into the kitchen, and put down her purchases. She needed to focus on the rest of her day and not think about what it was like to be in Knox Prosper’s presence again. It was like they’d come to an understanding. Both of them had made mistakes that caused years of painful misunderstanding, and now… they could each move on. Separately. Knox would be gone in a few days—off to whichever rodeo event was next—and Jana would still be in Prosper, making jam, and saving relationships one column at a time.
It was fine. And now, sh
e could officially move on. Start dating again. Maybe she’d even go to Racoons tonight and live it up a little. Dance and have fun.
As she worked on the next batch of jam, her mind kept tugging to her laptop, where her unfinished novel sat. It was her third one. The first two had been rejected by multiple publishers, and although she knew she could self-publish it in today’s market, if a publisher didn’t want it, would any readers?
Once the current batch was cooling, she washed her hands, then sat on the faded floral couch in the living room with her laptop. She reviewed the previous chapter written, and soon, she was typing away. The words seemed to flow, and so what if she was channeling Knox a little bit? She needed real-life examples as a springboard, right?
Somehow, she lost any sense of time, so when a knock came at her door, she was startled from her story. She set her laptop aside and rose to her feet. By the time she opened the door, she’d collected her thoughts and returned to the real world as opposed to the story world.
She knew it was going to be Knox, but for some reason, she still drew in a short breath when she saw him standing on her porch. It was a sight she’d never thought would happen. Ever. Yet, here he was.
His open collar revealed a damp chest, and his jeans were dirt-stained now.
“Brought your SUV back,” he said, taking off his hat. His hair was a darker blonde than it had been in high school, and it complemented his golden tan.
“Great, how did it go?”
Knox scrubbed a hand through his hair, which looked damp from his hard work.
Jana swallowed and tried to focus on his eyes, which didn’t help settle the awakening butterflies in her stomach.
“Good enough,” he said. “It was nice to get a feel for the arena and to check out the bulls that they brought in. There’s some powerful ones in the group.”
“As there should be, right?”
“Yes, ma’am. We gotta get a feel for what we’ll be faced with at the event.”
“A feel… what do you mean?”
“Well, there’s some intangibles in bull-riding,” he said in a slow voice. “Feel and effort. Yeah, everyone has to learn to go forward on the jump—you know, when the bull jumps, you can’t just sit back or you’ll fall off.”
Not Over You (Prosperity Ranch Book 3) Page 3