So why couldn’t she concentrate on her coupons? Why did she continually glance out the window hoping to catch a glimpse of Mike? He’d left on a jog just a few minutes ago. He wouldn’t return for an hour. But she kept checking, hoping he would come back with a skinned knee or something that would require her services. What kind of person hoped someone would get injured just so she could be close to him and touch him for a few minutes? She was definitely messed up.
“Stop thinking about him,” she commanded herself.
It was good advice. Mike was going to get better and leave. As they’d both agreed, he was completely wrong for her. Bodyguards don’t get off work every day at five. That’s what she wanted. Someone stable, someone she could count on. There were no promises in life, but she wanted the next best alternative—she wanted a sure thing. Mike Blackburne was a wonderful man, but he didn’t come with guarantees.
Before she could scold herself for continuing to think about him, the phone rang. She gratefully abandoned her coupons and picked up the receiver.
“Hello?”
“Cindy, it’s Grace. Where’s my big brother? He’s not picking up at the house.” Like the last time Grace had called, the connection from Hong Kong was amazingly clear.
Cindy laughed and took the cordless receiver back to her seat at the table. “Mike is fine. He’s out jogging.”
“Jogging? Is he nuts? It’s got to be a million degrees there, now. It’s July, for heaven’s sake.”
“A million and ten degrees. He swears he’s acclimating.” She glanced at the clock over the oven. “He just left, so he won’t be back for about an hour.”
“Oh, no, he’s trying to kill himself.”
“Grace, he’s doing great. The reason he’s gone so long is that he jogs really slow. I mean, Allison can run faster than him. The bullet wound is healing well, he’s been working out, he’s getting stronger. Your brother is fine.”
“Oh?” Grace’s voice was questioning. “Fine as in healthy, or fine as in `what a fine specimen of a man’?”
“Healthy. He’s perfectly healthy.”
“You have to admit he’s very handsome.”
He was handsome. So handsome it drove her nuts, but no, she didn’t have to admit it. “How’s Hong Kong?”
“Wonderful. Don’t try to change the subject.” Grace paused for a moment. “I’ve heard you two are an item.”
Cindy propped her elbows on the table and rested her forehead in her hands. “We’re pretending to be an item. Women here were coming on to him. You know how it is. He didn’t know what to do, so we decided to throw everyone off the trail by getting word out that we were dating. I’m just trying to be a good neighbor.”
“Uh-huh. So that’s why he kissed you when you were at the mall?”
Cindy didn’t swear much, but she was sure thinking about starting. “I can’t believe you heard about that.”
“I received two letters and one phone call on the subject. So it’s true?”
“Yes, he kissed me, but it was just because we wanted people to think we were a couple. If you heard about it, it obviously worked.”
“So there’s nothing romantic between you?”
“I swear.” Cindy made an X over her heart. There wasn’t anything romantic between Mike and her. That didn’t mean she wasn’t tempted, or didn’t have her daydreams.
“And you’ve never kissed any other time?”
That she wasn’t willing to swear to. “Grace, you’re looking for something that doesn’t exist. Mike is a great guy. I like him, the kids think the world of him and I’m thrilled to be able to pay you back for all that you’ve done for me. But I’m not having a relationship with your brother. We aren’t right for each other.”
Grace sighed. “I know. I was just hoping for a miracle. Mike’s nearly forty. He can’t run around after bad guys forever. I just want him to be happy, and I thought maybe you would be the one to help him see it was time to settle down. You guys would be great together.”
Cindy didn’t want to think about that. Being great with Mike was a guaranteed ticket to heartbreak. She didn’t need the problem, despite the temptation.
“Can we please talk about something else?” Cindy asked.
“Sure.” Grace chattered about her travels in Hong Kong and all the wonderful silks she’d bought. Cindy brought her up-to-date on the happenings in the neighborhood.
After a few minutes, Grace sighed. “I’ve got to go. I’ve limited my phone-call time to two hours a month and I’ve just used up nearly a quarter of that. Give Mike a kiss for me.”
“Grace!”
“On the cheek. You’re so suspicious. Take care of yourself, too. I miss you.”
“I miss you, too. Bye.”
She hit the off button and set the portable receiver on the table. She wanted her friend back, but before Grace returned, Mike would leave. It was an interesting dilemma.
The phone rang again. Cindy grinned. No doubt Grace had just one more thing to tell her.
“Hello?”
“Cindy, I need to talk about Allison.”
Her smile faded and with it, her good humor. The voice was familiar. A few months ago, just hearing it would put her stomach in knots, but that had passed. Now she felt nothing but mild annoyance at the interruption. She glanced out the window and saw her daughter laughing with her friends.
“What’s the problem, Nelson?” she asked coolly, knowing exactly why her ex-husband had called. She’d been expecting it for a while now, but had hoped she was wrong.
“She’s got that campout in a couple of weeks. I’d told her I would go with her.”
“But you’ve changed your mind.” It wasn’t a question.
“I hadn’t realized it wasn’t on our regular weekend. I’ve made other plans.”
She gripped the receiver tightly. “This campout is very important to Allison. It’s a father-daughter event. You’ve never done anything with her alone. She needs that, Nelson. She needs to know you care about her.”
“Of course I care. What have you been telling her?”
He sounded outraged. If the situation wasn’t so serious, she would have laughed. “I don’t have to tell her anything. You’re doing this all by yourself. You see the children every other weekend and no other time. You don’t come to their school programs, you don’t see them on holidays.”
“I have a life. I have responsibilities.”
She felt the first stirrings of temper. “You have two children. What is more important than that? They need more than visits every other weekend. They need to think you’re a part of their lives and not some distant relative they see occasionally.”
“We’ve had this conversation before, Cindy. If you’re upset about having to take care of the children, you should have thought about that before you insisted on getting pregnant. If you’ll remember, I wanted to wait. I’m not getting into this with you again.”
He paused. She gritted her teeth. Now when they had these talks, she wondered what she’d been thinking when she’d married this man. With the hindsight of time, she realized she’d only seen Nelson’s exterior package. She’d been blinded by the stable family and his career choice. She hadn’t looked closely enough at the man behind the facade.
The mistake had been hers. She could live with that. What hurt the most was how her children had to suffer, too. It wasn’t right. They deserved a father who loved them, not one who did what the court mandated and nothing else.
“Cindy, are you still there?” he asked, his voice laced with irritation.
She sighed. “What’s your point, Nelson?”
“I’m not going on the campout. I have plans with Hilari, and I’m not breaking them. I would like you to explain that to Allison, please.”
“Why should I do your dirty work for you?”
“If you don’t want to tell her, then put her on the phone, and I’ll do it myself.”
Cindy suspected Nelson wouldn’t be kind to his daughter. “She
’s letting go of Shelby,” she said softly. “After all this time, she goes hours, sometimes days without mentioning her. Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”
“Who’s Shelby?”
Cindy shook her head. Her ex-husband was hopeless. “I’ll tell her myself,” she said. “Goodbye, Nelson.”
She hung up without waiting for his reply. She’d tried, but it had been too late for years. Nelson was right—he hadn’t wanted children as much as she had. He’d wanted to wait. But she’d insisted. It was all part of her plan to be normal. It hadn’t worked, of course, and she had a lot of regrets. But having children wasn’t one of them. Her kids were the best part of her life. If she had a chance to do it all again, she would willingly marry Nelson, put up with him and his leaving simply because she couldn’t imagine life without Allison and Jonathan.
She walked to the back door and called her daughter. The smiling child raced toward the house. Laughter lit up her eyes. Her children deserved better than Nelson. So she would lie for him. Make up a business meeting he’d tried hard to break. She wondered how long the lies would work. At some point in his life, Nelson was going to realize what he’d lost with his children. She liked to think she was a decent person, but chances were she was going to be right there telling him he only had himself to blame.
* * *
Mike left the jogging path and angled up toward the cul-de-sac. His breath came in pants and sweat dripped from him. He supposed he deserved it for running in the late afternoon. The temperature was only in the upper eighties, but the humidity was almost that high. He slowed to a walk and pulled off his T-shirt. He used the damp cloth to wipe his face.
As he walked in front of Cindy’s house, he resisted the urge to glance over and see if she was home. He was doing his best to stay out of her way. The less contact they had, the better.
By the time he reached Grace’s back door, his breathing had slowed to normal. He stepped into the cool kitchen and headed for the refrigerator. He’d left a half-gallon bottle of water on the top shelf. In the time he was running, the water had cooled some but wasn’t really cold. He could down the whole thing without worrying about stomach cramps.
He tossed his T-shirt over one of the kitchen chairs and grabbed the bottle. Tilting his head back, he began to drink.
He was getting stronger every day. His workouts at the country-club gym were starting to pay off, although he was damn tired of his audience. Most of the men stayed away, but the number of women using the treadmills and other pieces of equipment had been constant.
He set the bottle on the counter and drew in a couple of breaths. Before he could pick it up again, the back door flew open and Allison raced toward him.
There were tears in her eyes and on her cheeks. Her face scrunched up in pain. Instinctively, he crouched and held out his arms. She barreled into him, crying as if her heart were broken.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, running his hands down her back and legs, checking for an injury. “Did you fall down?”
“No,” she said, clinging to him.
She buried her head in his shoulder. He could feel her hot breath and tears against his bare skin. “Are you hurt?”
“No...” This time the word was broken by a sob.
He shifted until he was kneeling on the floor and rocked her back and forth. Her crying continued, loud sobs punctuated by hiccuping breaths and shaking.
Finally, she raised her head and stared at him. Her green eyes were dark with tears. Her nose was red, her cheeks flushed. “I’m running away,” she said. “I want you to drive me.”
“Where do you want to go?”
She thought for a minute, then brushed her hand across her cheeks and sniffed. “Far away.”
“Why?”
Fresh tears filled her eyes. “My daddy isn’t going on the campout. I’m going to be the onliest girl there without a daddy.”
Mike grimaced. Cindy had mentioned the campout a while ago, voicing her concerns that Nelson wouldn’t bother to attend. Allison had also talked about the event. He knew it was important to her. For a moment, he thought about finding Nelson and explaining the facts of life to the man. Nelson couldn’t continue to ignore his children. Then Mike figured Nelson wouldn’t listen. Instead of talking, Mike decided he should just beat the hell out of him.
He had a feeling Cindy wouldn’t approve of his actions. Besides, beating up Nelson would only make him feel good. Allison was the one who was hurting.
“Are you mad at your mother?” he asked.
She shook her head. “Mommy says she’s coming with me in his place. I want Mommy to go, but it’s not the same.”
“I know, darling.” He pulled her close and kissed the top of her head. “Running away is going to hurt your mother though, and she’s not the one you’re mad at. Have you thought of that?”
“No...” The sobs were back.
He held her as she cried. She smelled of grass and little girl. She felt so fragile in his arms, so easily bruised by the world and by her own father. He knew all about a parent hurting a kid. He’d lived it. If there was any justice, Nelson would hook up with someone as self-centered as himself.
“Your mother would be frightened if you ran away. She’d think that you didn’t love her anymore. Do you want her to think that?”
“I love Mommy.” The voice was muffled against his skin. He could feel the hot breaths of air. “But Daddy doesn’t love me.”
It was as if someone had jerked his heart out of his chest. He fought against the physical pain. Damn. He wasn’t the right person to be having this conversation with Allison. He didn’t know the first thing about raising kids. He was probably going to scar her for life, but he had to try to make her understand the truth.
“You are a wonderful girl,” he said slowly. “You’re bright and kind. You’re good to your friends and very sweet. You also have the prettiest face I’ve ever seen. Your parents love you very much.” He had his doubts about Nelson, but Allison didn’t need to know that. “Grown-ups sometimes get so caught up in their own lives. Your father has forgotten how much fun it is to be with you. Until he remembers, he’s going to do silly things, like canceling your campout. But just because he forgets, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. It’s not your fault. It’s his.”
She raised her gaze to his. He could see the confusion there. These were pretty complex thoughts for a seven-year-old. But even if she didn’t understand everything he was saying, he wanted her to get the gist. Nelson was the jerk, not her.
“I like you very much,” he said. “If I had a little girl of my own, I would want her to be just like you.”
Her smile blossomed like a flower opening in sunlight. He touched the dimple in her cheek. He’d spoken the words to make her feel better, but at that moment, he knew they were true.
“I like you, too,” she whispered.
The wound in his chest began to heal.
Fighting a sudden burst of emotion, he rose to his feet and held out his hand. “Your mom is probably worried about you. Let’s head over there and tell her you’re okay.”
Allison came with him willingly. As he walked around the front of Cindy’s house, he saw her in the garage, going through boxes. He sent Allison inside and continued down the driveway.
The three-car garage had a workbench running along the back. There were a few tools hanging from a PegBoard. The minivan filled the space on the right. Several boxes marked Christmas Decorations stood against the left wall. Three bikes took the place of the second car. Next to them was the pile of boxes Cindy was going through. She’d pulled out sleeping bags and a lantern.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
She glanced up at him and grimaced. “Nelson punked out of the camping trip. Allison is heartbroken.”
“I know. She came to my house. She wanted to run away and needed me to drive her.”
Cindy paled. “Is she—”
“She’s fine. I brought her home. We had a talk.” He shift
ed his feet. “I don’t know if I said the right thing or not, so you might want to talk to her.” He hesitated, not sure how much he should tell her. “She knows it’s not your fault.”
“Oh, but it is. I married the jerk.”
A headband held her hair off her face. A single strand drifted over her eyes and she brushed it away. Her expression was defeated. He wanted to comfort her, but somehow doing that had been easier with Allison. Maybe because his relationship with the child was less complicated.
She reached into the box and pulled out several flashlights. “This isn’t the first time Nelson has done this to her. But it’s never been with something this big. I thought—” She shook her head. “This is her first campout. I’d had such hopes for her. What is she going to remember when she looks back on this?” She drew in a deep breath. “It doesn’t matter. I swear, that little girl is going to have the time of her life. I’m going to make sure of it. I’ve already arranged for Jonathan to stay with a friend.”
“You’re going in Nelson’s place?”
She nodded. “They need some mothers to come along, anyway. I wasn’t going to go because I didn’t want to be in such close quarters with Nelson. Now that’s not a problem. My only concern is that Allison is going to be the only girl there without an adult male along. Some of the girls don’t have fathers, but they all have uncles or big brothers or something.”
“We’ve already talked about this, Cindy. I’m happy to go.”
She gave him a weary smile. “That’s really nice but not necessary.”
“I don’t mind.” He didn’t. Allison was a sweet kid. He enjoyed her company. The idea of spending four days with Cindy was torture, but not the unpleasant kind. Besides, fifty or so little girls would be great chaperons.
“You’re crazy.”
“Maybe,” he admitted. “I’ve never been around children. I just assumed I didn’t like them, but that’s not true. I like yours. I like the kids in the neighborhood.” Selfishly, when Allison remembered her first campout, he wanted her to remember him. It was as close as he could come to belonging.
The Bodyguard and Ms. Jones Page 14