“Me too,” admitted Kendall. “I keep staring at myself in the mirror and I can’t believe how my body is changing.”
Lelani laughed. “Not like that.”
Kendall waved her hand. “Yeah, I knew that. I was just joking.”
“I meant I began to view abortion differently. And when the father of the baby, a man who happens to be a doctor, wanted me to terminate my pregnancy, I got very defensive.” She shook her head. “He tried that whole bit about it being just fetal matter and the sooner you get rid of it the better.”
Kendall nodded. That’s exactly what Amelia had told her. She was the only one besides her roommates who knew about the pregnancy. Amelia had strongly urged Kendall to get rid of it—and to do it quickly. In fact, Amelia was one of the sources who acted like it was no big deal.
“But I did some research.” Lelani’s eyes lit up. “By the way, what trimester are you in?”
“Huh?”
“You know. How far along are you?”
Kendall looked up at the ceiling and attempted to calculate. “It’s been about three months.”
Lelani looked slightly alarmed. “You’re just starting your second trimester, Kendall. That means, statistically, you’re at an even greater risk if you have an abortion.”
“Meaning what?”
“Meaning that the rate of complications, as well as the mortality rate, increases along with the duration of the pregnancy.”
“English please.”
Lelani nodded. “The longer you wait to have an abortion, not that I recommend it, the more dangerous the procedure becomes. A lot of doctors won’t perform one after the first trimester.”
Kendall took in a sharp breath. “You mean it’s too late?”
Lelani just looked at her, then let out a long, sad sigh.
“What?”
“I just don’t think you’ve really thought things through, Kendall.”
“Duh. Would I even be in this place if I had? Some people think I’m impetuous and fun and a risk taker. But I know that some think I’m a stupid airhead. Sometimes I’m not too sure myself.”
“Getting pregnant can be a serious reality check.”
“You got that right.” But even as Kendall said this, she realized that she didn’t like reality very much. Just then Tinkerbell jumped into her lap and whined to be let out. “Well, this little baby is good training for me, right?”
Lelani nodded and stood now. “For sure.”
Kendall got up and headed for the front door, then paused. “But I have one question for you, Lelani.”
“Yes?”
“Why did you leave your baby with your parents in the first place?”
Lelani frowned but didn’t answer.
“I mean if you knew you really didn’t want to have a baby. Like if you were so certain that you didn’t want to be a mother and raise a child, then why didn’t you just find someone to adopt your baby? I’ve heard that there are millions of couples out there who can’t have kids, and some will even pay good money for a baby. Why didn’t you just do that instead?”
Lelani simply looked at her. But Kendall couldn’t read her expression.
“I mean, if you didn’t want to be reminded of the whole thing, if you wanted to be free and single and all that, which I can by the way totally understand, then why did you leave your baby with your parents? It’s like you’ll never get away from the whole thing. I mean you’ll go home, and there’s your little mistake staring you in the face. Seriously, what’s the point?”
Lelani held up her hands in a hopeless gesture, and Kendall knew that she’d gotten her. Not that she’d wanted to get her. Mostly she was just plain curious. But it seemed that the brilliant Dr. Lelani Porter had just run out of answers.
Five
Megan
“I would love to go out tonight,” Megan told Marcus when he called later that afternoon. “Anything to get away!” Then she explained about Kendall and the garage sale. “I wish I’d never opened my stupid mouth.” She spoke quietly as she slipped through the still-cluttered living room and down the hallway to her bedroom. “It’s like I created a monster.”
Marcus chuckled. “Oh, don’t take too much credit. Kendall was a monster long before you knew her.”
Megan laughed as she kicked off her clogs, peeled off her dust-encrusted sweats, and sat down on her bed. “I didn’t mean Kendall was a monster. It’s the garage sale idea that I’m regretting.”
“Yeah, I’m having a hard time imagining Princess Kendall having a garage sale.”
“Try imagining how the house looks after Kendall emptied the attic. We’ve been trying to help her sort things out, but it’s a nightmare. I must’ve been suffering temporary insanity when I suggested a garage sale.” She flopped back onto her pillows.
“My grandmother used to be a garage-sale freak,” he admitted. “And a couple times she talked me into helping her out, but as I recall garage sales are a lot of work.”
“Yes. And we all know Kendall does not particularly like work.”
“So, what are you going to do?”
“I told her that we could just call the Salvation Army and ask them to pick the junk up.”
“And?”
“She wouldn’t hear of it. Somehow she’s gotten it into her head that it’s all very valuable.”
“Is it?”
Megan sighed. “Who knows?”
“You said it’s stuff from the attic?”
“Yes. Her grandmother’s things.”
“And her grandmother is okay if she sells them?”
“Good question.”
Marcus laughed. “Poor Megan. You had no idea what you were getting into when you connected yourself to someone like Kendall.”
“Well, at least I met you.” Megan smiled. The last couple of months with Marcus had been surprisingly good. Especially considering that she thought they were history before the holidays. But when he gave up his Christmas day to help serve the homeless at the mission, her opinion of him had changed considerably. Since that day, not only had he willingly attended church with her on Sundays, he had also gone with her to volunteer at the soup kitchen several times. He honestly enjoyed helping out, and she enjoyed working together with him. It was fun seeing him caringly interacting with needy people. His natural way of chatting with an unwashed, unshaved street person only made her like Marcus more. It was like they were on the same page. Or nearly.
“So you’re still happy that Kendall brought us together?”
“Pretty much so.” She smiled to herself.
“Okay … while you’re happy about that, do you mind if ask you something?”
Megan sat up. His voice sounded somewhat serious. “What?”
“Well, I ran into an old friend from high school—Jeremy Sutter—and he told me about this church he’s going to … and it sounds interesting.”
“What kind of interesting?”
“Well, for one thing it’s downtown, not far from the mission and soup kitchen. In fact, a lot of the members are involved in helping out with those things.”
“Sort of like my church.”
“Yes. But this church sounds different too.”
“How?”
“Jeremy called it postmodern, and he said there’s a focus on art and music and culture. You never quite know what to expect, he said, but it’s nothing like a traditional church. Like sometimes they’ll do something theatrical. Or have a slide show of art with a poetry reading. And they even have dancing—”
“They dance in church?” Megan tried to wrap her mind around that.
“I don’t know how it is for sure, Megan. But Jeremy said it’s very cool and he thought I’d like it. And the music is supposed to be really good. Anyway, he inv
ited us to come tonight.”
“Tonight? Church on Saturday night? Is it an SDA or—”
“No. I don’t think it’s a denomination exactly. And, according to Jeremy, tonight is more like a coffeehouse kind of gathering. They have music and somebody talks.”
Megan’s gut response was to say, “No way.” She wanted to tell him that she had no interest in visiting another church and that she was perfectly happy in the church that her parents had belonged to for decades, the church she’d attended her whole life, the church where she’d been baptized and where she knew almost everyone by first name and they knew her. If it wasn’t broken, why fix it?
But then she remembered how Marcus had been reluctant to come with her to church last fall, and how they actually broke up over this very thing. That’s when she realized that she owed it to him to at least give this church, or whatever it was, a try.
“Okay,” she said lightly. “It’ll be interesting to see what that church is like.”
“Great. I’ll pick you up a little before seven.”
As Megan showered and dressed, she thought about her relationship with Marcus and how it had been changing these past couple of months. In fact, they’d gotten to the place where she actually referred to him as her boyfriend. But even so, she wasn’t positive that he was “the one.” Not that she knew that he wasn’t. The truth was she was very attracted to him. She liked almost everything about him. She always enjoyed herself when she was with him. So what was the catch? She still wasn’t sure that he was a Christian. When they talked about it, he would assure her that he believed in God and believed in Christ. And he just didn’t seem to think there was much else to it.
“But do you pray?” she’d asked him.
He’d shrugged and said, “I don’t know. How do you define prayer?”
So she simply said, “It’s just talking to God.” But he still acted unsure. “Do you ever read the Bible?” she’d asked then.
“I’ve read parts of the Bible,” he told her.
“But do you read it now?” she pressed. “Do you read it regularly? Do you sense God speaking to you through it?” Once again, he seemed unsure.
“Not exactly.”
After that, she never brought it up again. But it had bothered her then. And it still bothered her now. More than that, it bothered her that he wanted to take her to some strange postmodern church. She wondered what her mother would think. Since she had a couple hours before Marcus would be here, she called.
“Megan,” said her mother happily, “I was just thinking about you.”
“Why?”
“Oh, I was going through old photos, sorting them out, boxing up the ones I thought you might like to have, as well as a few other old things.”
“Wonderful.” But Megan’s tone was sarcastic.
“You don’t want them?”
Megan laughed. “No, that’s not it, Mom. I do want them. It’s just that I don’t want to hear about any dusty old things right now.” Then she quickly explained about Kendall and the old boxes and junk from the attic, and how the whole house was still a mess from it.
“I think that sounds like fun!”
“Seriously?”
“Especially if the things from the attic are old. You know my favorite PBS show is Antiques Roadshow.”
Megan nodded. “Yes, I nearly forgot.”
“Do you think Kendall would like some help going through her things? I have a few books that could help her to place values and prices.”
“Are you serious?”
“Certainly.”
“Oh, Mom, that would be a true godsend.”
“I can only give her a couple of days—and not until Wednesday and Thursday—then I’ll be leaving on Friday.”
“I almost forgot,” said Megan. “You’re going to British Columbia next weekend.”
“Yes, I’m so excited. It’s my first time to go up there.”
“It’s so great that you’re traveling a lot, Mom.”
She sighed. “Yes, although I’d always planned to do these trips with your father, you know, after he retired and all.”
“At least you’re doing them,” Megan pointed out. “And I just know that Dad is happy about that. He’s probably looking down from heaven, saying, ‘you go, Linda!’”
“Yes, I think you’re right.”
There was a long pause, and Megan knew if she was going to ask her mom, she better just get it over with. “I wanted to ask you about something.”
“What is it? Anything serious?”
“Well, it has to do with church. I know how you and Dad were always glad that I continued going to your church. I mean, so many other kids quit going or switched churches. And I know you guys were married there and I was—”
“Yes, Megan, I know all that. But what are you saying? Have you decided to go somewhere else?”
“No, of course not.”
“Oh, what then?”
So Megan explained about Marcus’s invitation and how he called it a postmodern church and how Megan wasn’t too sure. “But I agreed to go tonight, just to try it out.”
Mom laughed. “Well, what’s wrong with that?”
“I don’t know. I just didn’t want you to feel badly.”
“Oh, sweetheart, I think it’s great that Marcus is looking for a church that he feels comfortable in.”
“Meaning you don’t think he’s comfortable in our church?”
“No, not exactly. But he mentioned once that he doesn’t really like his parents’ church that much. And I sort of suspected that our church is similar.”
“So?”
“So, maybe he needs something different.”
“But a postmodern church?”
“As long as they worship God and believe in Jesus, really, Megan, does it matter?”
“I can’t believe you’re so casual about it.”
“I know. I used to be such a stick-in-the-mud when it came to churches and religion. But I suppose that getting older … and losing your father … well, I suppose that changes a person.”
“So you’re not concerned that I might join some strange church where people dance up and down the aisles?”
“They dance in the aisle?”
Megan chuckled. “Well, I’m not really sure, but I just wondered if you’d be concerned.”
“Not concerned exactly. Because I know you have a good head on your shoulders, Megan. And I know you take your relationship with God seriously. But I suppose, if you did decide to join this dancing church, well, I might like you to invite me to visit occasionally—just to see what it’s really like.”
“I don’t think they actually dance,” admitted Megan. “But Marcus said it was different.”
“Sometimes different is good.”
Megan considered this. “I guess so. As long as God is in the center of it.”
“Marcus is a sensible guy, Megan. I can’t imagine him wanting to go to some crazy church.”
Megan nodded. “You’re absolutely right.”
“Anyway, let me know how it goes.”
“I will. And I’ll tell Kendall that help is on the way.”
“Good. Tell Kendall to give me a call if she’d like me to drop some of those books off for her. And tell her to tune into Antiques Roadshow on Monday night. That can be her homework.”
“That’s about the only kind of work that Kendall likes to do,” said Megan. “Fixing microwave meals and vegging out in front of the TV.” Megan hadn’t told her mom, or anyone else, about Kendall’s pregnancy yet. Kendall had asked her housemates to keep it quiet. As far as Megan knew, even Kendall’s own family was still in the dark. That wouldn’t surprise her, since Kendall’s communication with them was sparse at best. Megan’s theory was t
hat Kendall’s relatives avoided her even more than she avoided them—probably because they knew she would hit them up for money again.
Megan told her mom good-bye, then went to the kitchen to fix a quick bite to eat before Marcus came. Kendall and her little dog were nowhere to be seen, but Megan guessed they were holed up in Kendall’s room, probably watching one of Kendall’s favorite reality TV shows.
“Going out tonight?” asked Lelani as she joined Megan in the kitchen.
Megan nodded as she swallowed a bite of leftover pizza. “You too?”
“Yes.” Lelani poured a glass of water. “The condition of this house doesn’t exactly entice one to stay in.”
“I hear you. And, if it makes you feel better, I’m really sorry that I ever suggested this stupid garage sale.”
Lelani shook her head. “Anna was having a sneezing fit and decided to go to her parents’. My guess is she’ll stay the night.”
“Lucky girl.”
“You could always stay with your mom, couldn’t you?”
Megan glanced at the garage-sale junk that was still scattered throughout the kitchen. “It’d be easier if I had a car for getting to work. But since this is all kind of my fault, I suppose I better stick it out to the end.”
“I’ve never had or been to a garage sale,” admitted Lelani. “But it seems like a lot of work for what I’m guessing isn’t a lot of money.”
Megan kind of laughed. “Probably. To be honest, when I suggested it to Kendall, I thought it would be something to keep her busy, and a way for her to earn a few hundred bucks—you know, to keep her collectors at bay.”
“Yeah, right.”
“But more than that, I thought it might make her realize that people have to work to make money. And maybe it would even inspire her to look for a real job.”
“One with medical benefits.”
“Wouldn’t it be too late for her pregnancy?”
“Probably. But it might help out if she has complications. And at least the baby would be covered when it’s born.”
“Assuming it will be born.”
Lelani frowned. “Yes, assuming.”
Megan didn’t want to talk about that now, and so she picked a grimy old metal colander out of a box on the counter. “Do you think anyone will really want to buy this?”
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