Block stepped forward. “We don’t know right at this moment.”
“Well, that blows. What are we going to do here? Sit here and wait?”
Victoria and Malcolm looked at each other over my head. They had some kind of silent communication. I didn’t know what it was, and I didn’t care.
Malcolm cleared his throat. “Maybe you’d like a shower?”
Now, that was an idea. Running water. Heat. “Sounds like a great idea.”
“This way.” Malcolm gestured, and I followed him down the hall. Why wouldn’t the baby stop crying? A niggling pain in the back of my head had me rubbing at the spot.
The bedroom he brought me into was huge, the same size as my whole cabin. This location wasn’t coming back to me the way people were. Maybe it wasn’t a very important space. Malcolm pointed toward the bathroom.
He’d gotten pretty quiet since we’d arrived here. Perhaps he regretted his decision. I didn’t care. I wasn’t going back. Not if there was hot water here, even if I did have to listen to a baby cry.
“Where is that screaming baby?”
“Upstairs.” He pointed. “She’s our daughter. Frankly, listening to her cry is grating on my nerves. I hate to hear it. I’m going to go get her, see if I can help Annika with her.”
My whole body revolted against the idea. I grabbed his arm. “Don’t.”
He sat on the bed. “You don’t want to see the baby? Interesting. Okay, I’ll tell you what. You take your shower. For tonight I’ll humor you, but don’t expect it long term. I’m here for you, and we’re all going to help you find your feet. I’m not an easy man. Don’t expect constant coddling. It would be beneath both of us.”
I left him sitting on the bed and made my way into the bathroom. When the hot water hit me, I refused to think anymore. I wouldn’t contemplate why I didn’t want to see that baby. I wouldn’t question why Levi and those other three kids were missing or where they’d gone. I wouldn’t think at all.
Hot water cured many things, but not a hundred years of shadow torture. Nothing was going to fix me so that I fit back in here. I’d outgrown this box. But I would see to it none of them suffered from The Master.
I’d keep this planet safe, and then I’d figure out if there was anywhere in the universe I could … be.
I got out of the shower. My appearance in the mirror stopped me short. It had been so long since I’d looked at myself; I hardly recognized the girl who stared back at me. My hair was dark. The last time I’d seen it, my locks had been white. What had changed it? I didn’t remember, or maybe I’d never known.
I still looked young. How was that possible? I’d not aged a day. Maybe I was skinnier than the last time I saw myself. My cheeks were gaunt and my eyes old. My hair fell past my ass. I stepped back to look at my body, letting the towel fall to the floor. My stomach seemed flat. I’d never had stomach muscles to speak of, only now I did. A hundred years with the shadows was the best diet ever. I groaned. Stupid thoughts led to stupid days. My arms were muscular, and my legs fit. I’d fought until there was nothing left in me and ended up with the body I’d always wanted.
A brush on the vanity looked like it belonged to a woman. Was it mine? If I’d ever known, I didn’t anymore. In any case, I was using it. My hair was a rat’s nest. It took me as long as the shower had to brush it out. In the end, I braided it to get it out of my way. I’d cut it off when I could get my hands on some scissors.
Malcolm sat on the bed waiting for me when I came out. His gaze met my own, and flashes of things I couldn’t quite understand passed through his eyes before he shuttered them away.
“Feel better?”
What was he going to want from me here? The bedroom suddenly felt too small. “Look, I know what we used to do. We were very close. Married. We’re not going to be having sex any time soon. Or ever again. Am I totally clear?”
I hadn’t expected him to smile, but that was just what he did. “Look.” He imitated my phrasing, which was irritating but also kind of cute. “The last time I saw you, you’d had my baby one week before. That would mean on my timeline you’re two weeks post-delivery. Besides which, you’ve always said yes or no. You’ve been through the kind of hell I can’t imagine, and you won’t let Chase make you feel better. We’ll figure this out. In the meantime, I’ll keep my hands to myself.”
I let out the breath I held. “Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me for what is basic human behavior.”
His words struck me in my gut. “Basic human behavior? I’ve seen such basic human behavior. I’ll never get the stink off me. I’ve done some things in the name of survival …” I didn’t want to tell him about that. Not now, maybe not ever. “What you do? It’s not basic. It’s above ground. Thank you.”
Malcolm nodded once. “Can I ask you something? It’s really all I’ve been able to think about. Why did you jump in that hole?”
“The event is ancient history.”
“Not to me.” His response was the first time Malcolm raised his voice. I wasn’t afraid of it; I’d heard much worse.
I took a breath. “I jumped in the hole to stop the shadows from coming through. I saw no choice in the matter. Someone had to. I was there. I was alone. Well, Michael was there, asking me not to.”
“Why didn’t you wait for me?”
“Malcolm, I remember very little, but I promise you I wouldn’t have wanted you in that hole. I wouldn’t have wanted you with the shadows. Isn’t that love?” I looked away. Who could remember that either? “How did you get that baby to stop crying?”
He slumped forward a bit, looking down at the floor. “Abigail.”
“What?”
“Her name is Abigail. You don’t have to see her, but you’re going to use her name. You love her. When you let yourself feel things again, your love for her will come back, too.”
Silence fell between us. He wanted what I might never be able to give. He was a good man, but he’d never let me … be.
Chapter Two
I should have been able to sleep. I was back in a bed in the first time in forever. The house was quiet. We weren’t, I didn’t believe, under attack. Malcolm had left me alone to go sleep with the baby. So why was I awake in the middle of the night?
A noise caught my attention, a buzzing in the universe I doubted any of the beings in the house would hear except for me. They didn’t have the strength yet, and if they lived normal human lives from this moment on, they never would. It took a hundred years to hear the universe.
Or many lifetimes.
Michael appeared before me. I narrowed my gaze to stare at him in the darkness. Out of everyone, his sudden arrival threw me for a loop.
I sat up in the bed, letting the blankets fall away as I leaned forward. “For fifty years I waited for you. Not for rescue. I knew that wouldn’t be coming. I’d made a sacrifice and, hence, the nature of the endurance. But I thought you might say hi every once in a while. Would have gone a long way toward eliminating some of my desperation and loneliness.”
“If I could have come, I would have. I have no way to enter there.” He furrowed his brow. “They were working to bring you back. I thought the best I could do was to let them.”
I got out of the bed. “How convenient for you. Always the path of least resistance with you, isn’t it? Do you know what they call you there? Your people? The bad ones? The ones who became shadows? They call you a hypocrite. Guess you weren’t so wonderful to have around. Holier than thou. Holy wars. Destruction and death. They’re not sure why they’re there and you’re here.”
His eyes flared. “I don’t make the rules, Kendall. I don’t decide who becomes a shadow and who doesn’t. That’s above my pay grade.”
“Well then, tell me who does because I’d love to pay them a visit,” I shouted, not caring as Victoria appeared in the doorway.
She looked between Michael and me. “What do you think you’re doing here? You’re the reason this happened to her. Go away. Now.”
“Witch.” He shook his head. “I’m here to help her. You aren’t going to be okay in this if you don’t let me help. You can’t get over one hundred years of torture. You can’t get better with hugs and support. You have no time for that anyway. The Master is getting more and more dangerous. He’s amassed an army. He has to be sent back. Now. She can do that.”
Victoria stood next to me, which had to be one of the oddest sensations ever. I’d downright forgotten how it was to have a partner. She crossed her arms. “I’m dying because of what happened to her. Inside, I’m shriveling up. Malcolm has lost himself to the pain. He’s not here with us, at least not emotionally. We know we can’t help her. She won’t even look at her baby. But I’ll spend the rest of my life standing next to her and trying to do whatever I can to support her. Even if that means leaving The Master alone.”
I touched Victoria’s arm. “I’m moved by your loyalty. We will not be leaving The Master alone. He needs to go back.”
Michael shook his head. “There is something to fix this. She’ll never agree to it. The rest of you will have to.”
What in the hell was he talking about? “Excuse me? Agree to what?”
“Go get the others. In the living room. We’re going to have a serious talk. I’m sorry, Kendall. You’re too important to be this damaged.”
I sat in the big chair in the living room and watched as the entire group gathered. I hated the feeling of the walls crowding in on me. It wasn’t so much the space as the people in it. Malcolm leaned against my chair but otherwise didn’t speak. Victoria paced. Only Michael remained entirely still.
Malcolm shook his head. “We can fix this.”
“Oh yeah?” Block threw a magazine across the table into the wall. “Got a time machine? Going to go back and tell our friend, the woman who was basically my sister, not to jump in that hole?”
Michael shook his head. “Take her memories. Chase can do it. She goes to sleep; she wakes up exactly as she was before she jumped in, no recollection whatsoever of what happened to her.”
I rose, slowly. “You don’t get to do that again. You screwed with my mind once, and you took years from me. I hurt a very good man because of you. My pain is mine to keep. I don’t care if you like me or not. This is who I am. I survived because, guess what? You can’t die there. I died over and over, and I rose like the phoenix—and yes, there is some irony to that—over and over. I am your phoenix, Michael. Point me at The Master. He’ll go away. Why isn’t that a gift to you?”
“Because you’re so damaged I can’t leave you here. I can’t leave the Earth like this. You’re dangerous to yourself and others. I don’t even recognize your soul anymore.”
Malcolm held out his hand. “Would we have to take all of her memories? Is there a way to dim them? To take them from her in a way that they’d feel sort of far away? Not so acutely painful?”
I rounded on him. “How dare you.”
“Our daughter needs you, Kendall, and so do I. Fuck the rest of the universe, and I’m being a little selfish here. I won’t watch you wither and die for this. You already survived. It’s enough. You’ve given enough. And, frankly, so have I. If that makes me a selfish ass, then so be it.”
Chase crossed his arms. “I haven’t said I’ll even do it. I’m certainly not going to without her consent.”
* * *
I woke up with a throbbing headache. Rolling over, I turned on the light. Where were Malcolm and Abigail? Why did I feel like I’d drunk an entire bottle of tequila all by myself?
“Hey.” Malcolm came out of the bathroom, holding a hand towel in his hands. He threw it behind him onto the counter. “How are you feeling?”
“Like I drank too much. What’s going on?”
He sat on the edge of the bed. “You got hurt. About a week ago. The shadows busted through the kitchen, and you took a header. We’ve been nervous, but Ross took care of you because the hospitals aren’t safe. Do you remember any of it?”
Malcolm crossed past me and stood in front of the door to the bedroom. He knocked three times, which seemed kind of odd. What was he doing?
“Um. Yes. I remember the kitchen exploding.” A big hole had opened. “What happened?”
“I got back here. You were out cold. The witch helped me plug it.”
My stomach turned, and I pressed a hand on it. Was I nauseated because I’d been hit on the head? “That’s good … big win for us. Thank you. Sorry I let the team down. Is the baby okay?”
“Well, Abigail has gained a real taste for formula since you’ve been out cold.” He shrugged. “I’ve done the best I could. And Kendall, you didn’t let down the team. You’re the bravest person I’ve ever known. Hands down anywhere. I’m lucky to know you.” Something I couldn’t recognize flashed across his gaze.
I touched my breasts. They didn’t even hurt. Had I dried up so quickly? “You could have pumped from me.”
Malcolm held his hand up in the air. “Babe, I can honestly say I’d never do that in a million years. Besides, I think the magic the witch has been using on you all week dried it up. Changed your hair back too and, ah, stopped some of the more uncomfortable aspects of giving birth.”
I stared down at my stomach. All evidence of the pouch I should be walking around with for at least the next six weeks was gone. My stomach was flat and … I had abs. “She made me better than ever. What kind of magic did she do?”
“The kind that might make it so she can’t do magic for a long time.”
I jumped out of bed. “Why did you let her do that?”
“I don’t stop Victoria or you from doing anything. Even when I wish I could.” The door opened slowly, and Ross poked his head in.
“How’s the patient?” He cleared his throat. “Thanks to Victoria, you made quite a recovery. Scared us a little bit. But you look sound. Want to come out for a while? See your kids?”
I did. My heart turned over. It had been a week since I’d seen them, which was long enough, but it really felt like it had been … years. Tears fell from my eyes. “I’d love that.”
Leaving my bedroom, I could see the kitchen was a wreck. They’d not gotten it fixed yet, and that was probably my fault. Everyone was worried about me.
“Sorry, everyone,” I called out to the living room, where it looked like everyone had gathered. “Kendall does it again. Big klutz took another header. Couldn’t even help with the shadows.”
Chase spit out his drink, and Grayson ran over to hug me. He squeezed me tight, putting his head on my chest. I wrapped my arms around him. Had they told the kids how sick I was?
“Glad you’re okay, Mom.”
Dex followed suit and squeezed me tight, but Molly stayed glued to where she was, regarding me with wide eyes. Levi knelt and put his hand on her back. He was pale, and a muscle ticked in his jaw when he spoke. Was he okay?
Molly’s voice quivered when she spoke. “Hi, Mommy. You look better.”
She finally moved to me, giving me a hug and squeezing hard. I didn’t try to rush her. It must have been a terrible week. I was so sick of making my family worry.
She let go, wiped tears from her cheeks, and gave me a smile. “Love you, Mom.”
My daughter turned and fled up the stairs, her brothers on their heels. I watched them go, a pit forming in my stomach. Something was wrong. I needed to …
Malcolm placed Abbi in my arms, and then I had no choice but to sit down. Holding Abbi felt … wrong or strange, like I hadn’t done it in a long while. The ease I’d had with baby was missing. How could a week take this from me? I was her mother. What happened? I couldn’t nurse her anymore, but I could hold her, and I’d be doing that a lot. Whatever this was, I had to get over it. Victoria sat in the chair next to me.
“That must have been some spell you used on me. Why would you do so much magic you overdosed on it?” I hated the paleness of Victoria’s cheeks; I hated how Henry hovered around her like she might fall over.
She raised an eyebrow. “It
’s my power to use as I see fit. I wanted you to be here and to be well. You’d have done the same for me.”
Chase hadn’t uttered a word as he sat on the windowsill, looking out the window. Annika had her head on his arm, and they held each other close. Logan, Ross, and Peter played cards around the table. Block and Patricia spoke quietly at the table in the corner. Everything should have been downright normal … except Levi still hadn’t moved.
I caught his gaze, and he walked slowly to me. “Kendall, you look well.”
“Thanks.” I looked better than I ever had in terms of fitness. I wondered if it would last since I wasn’t always wonderful about going to the gym. Eating cookies? I was great at that. “Are you okay?”
“Yes and no.” He looked away. “The kids were worried, but they’ll get over it.” His eyes were on Malcolm when he spoke. “I hope everyone here knows what they’re doing, including you, Kendall.”
I shook my head. “Me too? I’m not sure specifically to what you are referring.”
Malcolm jumped to his feet. “All right, people, here’s the deal. We need to get The Master. Top Hat didn’t betray us. I think the best option is to cut a deal with him. He’ll point us to The Master. We attack, for once having the element of surprise on our side. The Master thinks we’re licking our wounds. He won’t see it coming.”
Victoria cleared her throat. “How do you plan on contacting Top Hat?”
Levi’s eyes widened after he spoke, and he took a step back. “And don’t believe in him ever, not all the way. He’ll turn on you in a second. He’s a shadow. That’s what they do. If they were good people, they wouldn’t be in there.” He spoke the truth, and no one knew the shadows better than Levi.
Abbi stirred in my arms, and I kissed her sweet head.
“Been a rough week? I mean other than me being out of it and Victoria using up her magic?”
Levi snorted. “You have no idea. I couldn’t possibly do it justice. It would be a lie to even try.”
Persuasion Enraptured_A Paranormal Romance Series Page 2