There is much that I have seen, damahne. Were you willing to look, there would be much for you to see as well.
We’ve gone over this.
You’re afraid.
Not afraid. When Jakob had walked back and spoken to Shoren the last time, he had a sense from Shoren that the other damahne also thought he was afraid. The resistance he had to surging forward along the fibers was not born out of fear but out of a desire to remain uninfluenced.
Do you think the other does not have help?
Jakob still wasn’t certain what it meant that Raime would have help. What reason would there have been for one of the damahne to have sided with—and helped—Raime? Didn’t they all serve the same purpose? Wasn’t theirs a goal to maintain peace? At least a balance. If they were divided—and Jakob had no doubt that they must have been, especially considering what he had observed in some of his visions from the past—he still wouldn’t have expected them to actively work against each other.
Somehow, he would have to go back and understand what had happened and would have to understand whether there was anything he could do to counter it.
Why has it taken until now for this fact to have come out?
Because he has hidden his tracks well.
Hidden from even you?
Even from me, damahne.
How?
The nemerahl snorted. I do not see everything.
There was something in that comment that Jakob thought he should understand, but it eluded him. Is it someone I should have known about?
You are damahne. You have the potential to look back and can use that to learn.
It’s more difficult if I don’t know where I’m going. As a creature of the fibers, you understand that.
More difficult, but that does not make it impossible to accomplish. You have resisted using your connection to the fibers since we bonded.
I thought that our bond would make it so that I didn’t have to.
Why should that be? I might be a part of the fibers, but that does not mean you don’t need to maintain your connection to the fibers, and that you don’t need to do what you can to understand your purpose.
Jakob wasn’t certain what purpose he might have. For some reason, he was gifted with the ability to walk firmly along the fibers. It was both a gift and a curse, but had he not, would he have saved Malaya and the other damahne? It was likely he would not have managed to awaken them. Without that ability, the groeliin would have eventually managed to steal their ahmaean.
But it also ran the risk of him stepping back too deeply into the past, and losing himself. That was a way toward madness, and Jakob was not willing to risk the host or himself in such a way.
I will do what I need to, he told the nemerahl.
I’m not certain that you will. You have begun thinking that since you defeated the groeliin, you don’t have to fear what Raime will do. Yet you’ve already seen how powerful he can be and how violent he is willing to be.
I know.
Do you? It seems to me that he is one that you do not know.
What would you suggest? Would you have me walk back along the fibers to try to observe Raime?
With your connection, such a thing would not be impossible.
Jakob considered the nemerahl for a moment, waiting for either a peal of laughter or some other sign that she was toying with him, but it never came.
Could he go back and observe Raime?
The nemerahl was right. He didn’t know enough about Raime, certainly not enough to effectively counter him. If he were able to go back along the fibers and observe him—particularly from the beginning—could he begin to understand who was helping him and what plan he might have? Could he find this other who was helping him?
If Jakob went back far enough, Raime might not even be able to sense his presence. Raime was not damahne, so would not have the same connection to the fibers.
But it was dangerous. If he did go back, and if Raime somehow was made aware of his presence, the sharing between them would put Jakob in danger in his time. If he went back, and Raime was able to glean information from Jakob, it would potentially impact how effectively Jakob would be able to stop him.
Do I always attempt to find out more from Raime?
Do you believe the fibers are static?
The other damahne I’ve spoken to seem to think they are.
Damahne have the ability to look at the fibers, and like all beings, can influence the fibers, especially in their own time, but they are often unaware that the fibers change over time. There are variations that come from the fibers, and those variations are tied to others with a greater connection to the fibers.
Like the nemerahl?
The nemerahl. Our cousins. Even some damahne.
So when I go back, do I influence the fibers? Can I even influence the fibers?
It is difficult to say. It is possible that when you attempt to walk back as you do, you are only doing what you have always been meant to do.
That’s been my concern.
What if it isn’t the case? What if what you learn and accomplish manages to make a slight change over time. Perhaps it isn’t this time that changes things, but the next, or even the one after.
I don’t understand. What do you mean the next time?
Do you think this is the only time you and I have ever had this conversation?
I thought the fibers were woven together toward the future.
Yours are, but the fibers are a cycle. You have seen this, damahne.
I still don’t understand. How is it possible for what you’re describing?
Because while there may be strands woven together, and there may be a sense that they are fixed, there remains some uncertainty, and with as many who exist to have the ability to touch the fibers with strength, it’s possible that changes have been layered over time with each cycle.
If that were the case, was Jakob having this conversation for the first, the second, or was this the hundredth time? If they had gone through this before, was he able to change things enough during this passing for him to have any positive impact on what was to come?
That’s what the nemerahl are then? You’re somehow connected to all possibilities?
I am connected to the fibers. All nemerahl are connected to the fibers. Because of that, we are connected to all possibilities.
What happens in the other possibilities?
The nemerahl crouched next to him and looked out over the ledge and down at the city. From here, everything appeared tiny. It gave a reassuring sense, and Jakob could almost believe that he could help all of these people. That was his responsibility now, wasn’t it? With everything that he’d been granted, he had to use those abilities, and he had to help as many as he could. If he didn’t, others like his brother and Raime would come, and they would seek to destroy.
It pained Jakob to think that his brother might do something like that, but he had no other explanation.
Could his brother be different in one of the other possibilities?
You’ve asked me that question before.
What question is that?
About your brother.
Is it possible?
All things are possible when it comes to the fibers.
If all things are possible, what makes this reality any better or different from any others?
Because this reality seems to be the anchor to the others.
Why?
The nemerahl looked up at him, her golden eyes blazing with intelligence. When a tree sprouts from the forest, one trunk must become central. There can be many branches, but all respond to the one. Without it, the entire tree dies.
So without this strand within the fibers, you’re saying the entire thing dies.
I cannot see that with clarity, but all signs point to that being the case.
What can we do?
You can protect the fibers. If you don’t, and if this strand is allowed to perish, it’s possible that all other strands w
ill perish.
Is this what the damahne have protected?
The nemerahl stood and paced behind him, sniffing at the air. Jakob had the sense that the nemerahl wasn’t going to answer, when it did, the creature’s remark took him off guard.
The damahne have long guarded the seal between making and unmaking. It is a barrier between the Maker and what we once called the Deshmaker.
Only the damahne? What of the Magi? The Antrilii? The daneamiin? All had ahmaean, not just the damahne.
That is not an answer I understand. It is possible they receive their power from the source.
The source?
Where all ahmaean originates.
I thought it was tied to life.
It is, but there are places where it is concentrated and…
And what?
Changed.
Jakob looked at the nemerahl. What would it mean for ahmaean to change? Why would it change? Where are these places?
I cannot see that.
Because it’s beyond the fibers?
Because it is beyond my sight.
Why tell me this? What purpose is there in sharing this now?
I see that it is knowledge that you need now.
Only now? Jakob asked.
You had not needed it before.
Would Raime attempt to find these places of concentrated ahmaean? Jakob couldn’t fathom Raime being even more powerful than he already was. If Raime was after more power, maybe it had to do with this other person the nemerahl had spoken of. What did he want to use it for?
I need to know. Jakob echoed the nemerahl’s words. That’s the reason why you’re sharing with me?
I’m sharing because you need to know. I’m sharing because it’s possible that you are the only one who is able to do anything to stop it. And I’m sharing because I fear that this other has already begun to disrupt it.
What happens if that occurs?
The nemerahl didn’t answer, simply keeping her gaze fixed in the distance.
Nemerahl? What happens?
She turned to look up at him. You already know what happens, damahne.
As she stared at him with her intense, glowing yellow eyes, Jakob shivered. He had heard of what might be in his future. It was the one thing that Raime had seen of him, and something that Raime wanted from him. It was the same as Mage Haerlin had seen.
Jakob was determined that would not occur, but he might not be strong enough to prevent it. And if he wasn’t, would it come to fruition?
Darkness. That’s what it is, isn’t it?
The nemerahl sniffed and turned her head away from him, looking out once more over the city. That is one possibility that exists, and the most likely.
Jakob hoped she would say something else, and that there might be something more for him, but she didn’t.
He shivered, unable to suppress it.
Whatever else he did, he would somehow have to ensure he wasn’t the reason for the end of all things, but how was he to do that?
Chapter Three
Jakob sat within his room in the Tower. The chair was solid teralin, all positively charged, and it felt warm beneath the thin fabric of the clothes he wore. The room was otherwise empty. There were no windows to the outside—the Tower had no windows, making it feel oppressive even on the best of days. He was alone and rested with his sword sitting across his lap.
Even the nemerahl had left him. There wasn’t much for her to do when he attempted to walk along the fibers. Within the Tower, there was a sense of safety so that he didn’t need anyone to watch over him, not as he once had. Previously, he had asked others to observe while he journeyed in his mind, so that he would not be harmed while he walked the fibers.
Was he ready for what he intended to attempt?
It was necessary. It was time for him to go back and see if there was anything he could learn from Raime so that he could begin to understand him. He feared getting pulled back along the fibers but thought that vision had been given to him for a reason.
What would happen if he ignored it?
Jakob tried not to think about it.
Instead, he focused on what he needed to do to understand Raime. It might require that he step farther back than he had before, going back even before the time of the first Conclave. At least in that time, he knew that Raime would have once been something of a scholar, and that he was felt worthy of being a member of the Conclave. Jakob didn’t know enough about the man to know how long that had been the case. Eventually, Raime’s presence on the Conclave created conflict that ended with him getting exiled, but in order for Jakob to learn about the man—and learn what had happened, and where he had gone into hiding, and who he might be working with—he needed to know more about who he had been.
He knew he had to try once again to walk the fibers back to find Raime. It might also be the easiest way for him to know what Raime intended and who was helping him.
But he also knew looking back along the fibers in that way required incredible power. That was the reason for the teralin chair and his remaining in the Tower. There was ahmaean here that he could draw upon that would allow him to augment his natural ability. He had granted much ahmaean to the other damahne, and that had weakened him somewhat, though not nearly as much as he had expected.
Jakob took a deep breath.
He wasn’t normally nervous when walking the fibers, but he wasn’t normally as concerned about the impact his presence would have. If he made a mistake here, it could have significant implications, especially with what the nemerahl had said about the circular nature of the fibers. And he feared disrupting the balance and drawing the attention of the Maker—or whoever that had been.
He drew upon his ahmaean and turned it inward.
The connection to the chair—as well as the Tower—caused a surge of ahmaean to flow through him.
There was a shifting, and Jakob stepped outside of the fibers. He saw them as a pale, translucent sort of glowing light. There was a thick density to them moving in one direction, and in the opposite direction, there was a sense of openness, that of the possibilities that existed within the fibers.
Standing outside of the fibers as he did now, he was able to see all possibilities, and all of the various strands that comprised the fibers. This was the only way he could step outside of his own pathway. That was what would be necessary for him to reach Raime.
Though dangerous, finding Raime was not difficult.
Jakob knew that strand and had noted the thickness to it. A part of him wondered what would happen if he attempted to sever the strand but suspected he would not be allowed. There seemed to be a certain regulation to power within the fibers, and Jakob did not want to do anything that might disrupt that.
He traced along Raime’s strand, moving backward. He searched as he went, but with as long as he had lived, finding a single significant connection to Raime was difficult—at least, without knowing Raime.
He would have to go far back, much farther than he had attempted before. Would it be dangerous? Was it something that he even dare attempt, or did he need to be more careful?
The fibers untangled before him.
Finally, Jakob saw where he needed to go. As he went back, certain places on strands along the fibers surged more brightly. He didn’t fully understand why, or what they were, but suspected they had something to do with important events on the strand of the person living through that time. He would choose one of these as his host—possibly many of these—and observe. Perhaps by observing only, he wouldn’t need to risk exposing himself, or the possibility of Raime learning more about him—and possibly how to defeat Jakob sooner.
Jakob would still need to confine his thoughts, keep them constricted within Raime’s mind. Even if he did this, there was a possibility that part of him would leach out, that Raime would detect that Jakob was there. If he did, would he learn from Jakob? Would Jakob essentially be influencing the future?
They were questions about the fibers for w
hich he didn’t know the answers. It seemed that none really understood them. The nemerahl might understand them best of all, as they were a part of the fibers, but even that was difficult for Jakob to fully comprehend.
The surge along the strand glowed even more brightly here. If this represented something important, then it was incredibly important.
He stepped inside of Raime’s strand, making himself a small as possible as he looked out through his eyes.
The city was dark and dirty, and a hint of a breeze blew through, but it did nothing to extinguish the stink. The smell was something stale, and it mixed with the stench of refuse as well as thousands of bodies not meant for a city this size. All of it served to increase Jakob’s anxiety as his host walked along the streets.
Where was he?
Jakob probed Raime’s mind with a light touch, careful not to announce his presence, hoping to learn where he was and what his host was doing.
This was where Raime was scheduled to meet his contact, but the man hadn’t appeared where he had been expected. Had the war delayed him? Countless others had been delayed by the war, and countless more had died fighting in it.
Jakob struggled to maintain a disconnect between Raime and himself, but it was difficult. He kept himself buried in little more than a pocket within his mind, peering out at the street, trying to gain a sliver of understanding, but not daring to do so too extensively. If he did, he risked more than he intended.
An explosion thundered through the city.
Raime ducked back along one of the alleys, getting out of the street, trying to remain near the wall that appeared stout. Too often with explosions like this, buildings would collapse. It was as if the entire ground thundered under the effort of the gods’ wrath.
Debris settled down upon him, layering him with dust, but the wall held. How many more attacks could the city withstand?
Jakob wanted to learn more from Raime. Observing wasn’t giving him all the answers he sought. So he risked reaching into Raime’s mind a bit farther. A light touch, nothing more, and he could at least know where he was and what was taking place.
The Great Betrayal (The Lost Prophecy Book 8) Page 3