How much time had passed?
It was difficult to gauge. He’d only been in Raime’s mind for a short period of time, but the amount of time it took him to walk the fibers was an unknown. He had yet to determine whether stepping far outside of the fibers took much longer than simply walking a short time back.
He was tired. The effort of walking so far back had strained him. He wanted to rest, but he also felt the continued sense of unease at what was taking place. If he could not find Raime—or his brother—soon, he feared what else might happen.
What was that darkness that he had seen when he’d tried to look forward?
Had it always been there? He hadn’t seen it when he had looked before, but that was what Raime—and Haerlin—had foreseen.
Had Jakob made a mistake by not searching forward along the fibers before? The nemerahl seemed to think so.
Nemerahl.
He sensed the connection through their bond, a connection that seemed to be formed out of ahmaean, binding the two of them. It was a strange sensation that Jakob still didn’t fully understand. It allowed him to close his eyes and look through the nemerahl’s eyes, much as he did when he occupied a host.
Was that the case?
He hadn’t considered it that way before, but what if that was how the bond formed?
Then why would Jakob be able to connect to hosts in a similar way?
From what he’d learned from Shoren, none of the other damahne had the same ability. Why Jakob? What would make him different?
You walked the fibers.
The nemerahl’s voice filled his mind, and Jakob breathed out a sigh of relief. There were times when he called out to the nemerahl, and she didn’t answer. He thought their bond would hold them together, but sometimes, she seemed reluctant to answer him. But the fact that she answered him at all was still better than what it had been like with Alyta’s nemerahl.
I went looking for understanding.
Did you see something that alarmed you?
I walked back and observed Raime. I need to find out who he’s working with.
And observing will help?
I need to know him better to find the strands that influence him, unless you’re able to see something on the fibers that will help.
The nemerahl was slow to respond. I am not.
That would have been too easy. He needed to understand how this other—damahne or whatever he was—managed to conceal himself from the nemerahl.
I have questions, though I’m not sure that you will be able to answer them.
Then why did you summon me?
Because before I returned, I looked forward. I saw darkness.
The nemerahl appeared, almost as if she had shifted into place. She crouched next to him, looking up at him with her bright orange eyes and tipping her head to the side as if considering what more to share with him. I see the darkness, as well. Have you not seen it before?
Jakob shook his head. When I’ve looked forward before, I’ve always seen possibilities, and have been able to attempt to separate the fibers, but nothing like what I saw this last time.
You believe yourself responsible for this.
Raime saw darkness when he looked into my possible futures. As did Haerlin. How can I not be responsible for this change?
Each of us contributes to the fibers in some way, damahne. Your contribution might be greater than some, and thus your strand might be thicker than some, but each has a contribution.
I don’t know what you’re trying to tell me.
I’m trying to tell you that you alone would not be responsible for the darkness. Just like you alone cannot be responsible for ensuring it does not occur.
It can be stopped?
The fibers are possibilities. You have known that from the beginning.
And yet you have told me that the fibers represent a circularity.
The nemerahl crouched, looking up at Jakob. For one as young as you are, you have begun to question in ways that many of the Elders did not.
Such as who?
Such as the one you refer to as Shoren. There have been others like him with a powerful connection and understanding of the fibers.
Do you refer to Shoren by some other name?
The nemerahl’s ears twitched. We find names to be less than useful. It is possible that he is Shoren, but it’s possible that he is something else or, someone else.
What else—or who else—would he be?
We know that he is one who was able to connect deeply to the fibers, but even he had limitations. You are much like him and unlike him.
My connection is different from Shoren’s. He told me that some of the things I was able to do weren’t possible.
Perhaps they weren’t possible once. But many things that were once not possible have begun to become real.
What can I do to stop the darkness?
The answers are not always obvious. It will require you looking toward a time when you are able to do more than you can now. I don’t know that I have the answer to that. None within the fibers have that answer.
Jakob thought about what the nemerahl was telling him and worried that he might cause the end of all things if he wasn’t careful. That wasn’t what he wanted, and there was a reason he had opposed Raime, thinking to avoid the darkness that he foretold. If Jakob was destined to cause that darkness, was there anything he could do—any way for him to avoid it?
What does the brighter light along each strand signify?
You already know what it signifies.
It means something significant to the strand?
The brighter light is a point of divergence. It’s the point where something of importance takes place for the strand. At that point, the fibers could have branched in many different directions. From there, it is a winding of the fibers.
A winding?
You have seen how the fibers branch out before you.
It was something of a statement, and almost a question. Jakob had a sense the nemerahl was trying to explain some core concept to him. It was the first time that he had that sensation from anyone other than Shoren, and Shoren’s description of the fibers was never enough to fully explain what Jakob was doing. When he had spoken to Alyta’s nemerahl, he had not been willing to share what he knew of the fibers, claiming that Jakob needed to learn that on his own. Had he learned enough that his nemerahl bond was finally willing to help him understand more of what he needed to know?
I have seen how the fibers branch out. There are countless possibilities.
Not countless. There are a finite number of possibilities, and each possibility brings more possibilities. But not each time contains such variety.
What do you mean?
Think of now. If you were to look forward along the fibers—
I would see darkness.
You would see possibilities, damahne. They would be limited, but there would be possibilities there. When you look into the immediate future, there are a set number of occurrences that could take place in this particular instance.
How do you know?
The nemerahl eyed him, seemingly annoyed that he had to ask.
I am of the fibers. I am of those possibilities.
How much of the future could the nemerahl see? Was it possible for her to see more than Jakob could? Would she have a greater understanding of what she saw than what Jakob did?
Likely, she would. As she said, she was of the fibers, which meant that she was able to understand the occurrences that took place, the possibilities that extended in front of him, and likely could help him understand what possibilities there were.
With that set number of instances, you’re saying there is not as much variety at this time.
At this time, you have only a few particular possibilities that you might make. Now, some of those might be more unlikely than others, but for the most part, all carry with them a certain similarity. There is not much variety to your strand from here.
Jakob thought he was u
nderstanding. But in other times, there would be more. Such as when I first spoke to Alyta.
When you first spoke to her, your possibilities were more extensive. That was a branching point for you. Jakob sensed the nemerahl was pleased that he made the connection. If you were to look back along the strand and see what took place for you then, you would see a bubble of what you call light. The nemerahl know it as a nidus. At these moments in one’s life, there are more possibilities than at other times, and when they are bundled, you form this nidus.
This is what I saw with Raime?
You saw a time of importance for him. At that time, he could have made many different decisions, and the ones that he made formed the future path his strand took.
Like a tree sprouting.
Something like that. He formed the main stem of the pathway his strand took. Had he made another decision, he would have woven his strand into the fibers in a different way. Much like had you made a different decision after you spoke with the damahne, you might have been woven into the fibers in a different way. They are possibilities, and they are powerful.
The nemerahl’s eyes flashed brightly, reminding Jakob of this nidus.
I thought I could learn about Raime by going far back along his strand. If I can understand who he was, I might be able to anticipate what he might do now and who he serves. If I search these niduses, they should lead me to that person, shouldn’t they?
That is a reasonable conclusion, but he has lived a long time, even for your kind. He will have had many experiences, and will by necessity have formed many niduses along his strand.
Does that matter?
As I said, there is power in such niduses.
Can he access that power? If he could, that might explain why Raime had maintained his power despite what Jakob had done. It might explain why Raime had been able to overcome the fact that Jakob had attempted to strip his connection to the ahmaean from him when they first fought, and that Raime had somehow managed to reach along the fibers and twist them.
If that was how Raime had managed to accumulate power, was there anything that Jakob could do that could replicate that? Could he create a similar experience, and give himself a similar connection to power?
Anyone who is able to reach into the fibers can draw upon the power of these niduses.
Including me?
You are able to reach deeply into the fibers. You would have a great ability to access that power.
What does that power allow me to do?
The nemerahl stood and rubbed up against Jakob. You already have enough connection that you would not need a greater connection, damahne. It might lend you strength if you found yourself weakened, but it is a strength that comes from the fibers, so there are certain limitations to it.
What kind of limitations?
The kind that I cannot describe.
Because I am not allowed to know?
Because I am not able to describe them, damahne. You have words for such things, but I do not.
Can I connect to you to understand?
There is no connection to the nemerahl that would grant what you ask. What you want to do is something that few have ever managed outside of the nemerahl.
Jakob thought back to what he’d seen along Raime’s strand and the various places where there had been a brighter light. Now that he knew those were places of importance, when Raime had made decisions that had caused his strand to be woven into the fibers in a particular way, he knew that he would need to go back and see if he could understand them. If he could find answers about Raime’s past, would he then understand him well enough to defeat him?
That was what this was all about, wasn’t it? He needed to know about Raime—and about what he might do. Only then could he discover where he was hiding. There had to be answers along his strand.
Did you learn something when you walked back and observed Raime, damahne?
I learned that he was a historian.
I believe you have some experience with historians.
I do, but his connection to the Historian Guild predates Novan and his experience by a significant timeframe.
There have been historians for nearly as long as there have been damahne.
There have?
They went by a different title then, but they served a similar purpose. They felt a need to document the damahne, to provide witness to their purpose.
Would Novan have known that?
Novan was quite well connected to the Historian Guild. Jakob had to believe that Novan did know, and if he knew, had he read some of those ancient texts?
Maybe he couldn’t. It was possible that they were coded, as he had learned in his vision.
He needed to know whether Raime had shared the knowledge of the historians. Had he revealed the secret to the code they used in their documentation? If he had, that might help Jakob understand which way the war had gone, and might help him understand some of what motivated Raime. Raime had wanted to serve the gods at that time, so something had changed, though what wasn’t clear.
He needed to find Novan. He had tasked the historian with learning about the groeliin and seeking a connection, but perhaps it was time for him to rejoin Novan, anyway. Jakob had learned something about the groeliin that Novan might need to know, and it might influence the way that he searched for them.
It would take him away from the Tower, but would he have to go alone?
Now that Malaya—and Adam, along with a few others—had an ability to shift, could they come with him and be useful?
Perhaps it was time for them to see other parts of the world, to see the influence that the damahne had. Perhaps it was time for them to engage so that others would know that the damahne had returned. It would lead to worship of them, and from what Jakob knew of the damahne he had helped restore, none of them were interested in being worshipped, but they could stabilize some of the fighting that had occurred, and they could create a sense of calm by showing their presence.
That alone might be enough to destabilize Raime, and might force him to take action. Jakob didn’t like the idea of forcing him to fight, but they needed to goad him into doing something. Raime needed to make a mistake and reveal himself so that they could find some way of stopping him.
If I go north, will you come with me?
We are bonded, damahne. I travel wherever you travel.
Will you reveal yourself?
I will reveal myself if it is necessary, and only to those I choose.
What of the merahl? They are descendants of the nemerahl, are they not?
Their connection is… complicated.
It was an odd description, especially as Jakob had long believed that the nemerahl and the merahl were tightly related, but if they were not, maybe there was more for him to know.
I will be going to find the historian, and he is with the Antrilii.
He is.
Before I go, I want to walk the fibers one more time and see if I can understand more about Raime.
You will need to walk the fibers many times, damahne.
You’ve seen this?
It is the only way you will prevent the darkness.
Jakob sighed and took a seat. First, he would rest. Then he would walk the fibers again.
Chapter Five
The wind of the northern mountains gusted around Isandra, sending her hair fluttering around her. She stood with her hands clasped behind her back, her merahl companion at her side, and Jassan standing on the other. It felt as if she had returned far sooner than she had intended, but what choice did they have? She was increasingly concerned about what role she might have with the groeliin, knowing only that she needed to return.
“I thought that we would spend longer in the south,” Jassan said.
“I thought so, as well.”
A part of her felt a pull back toward Vasha, but she had been long enough away from her home city that it no longer felt quite as compelling for her to return. How could she, when she now had Jassan?
She was more Antrilii than Magi, something that seemed impossible for her to believe.
“What do you expect to encounter here?” Jassan asked, turning to her. “It has to be more than whatever it was Endric told you.”
She shook her head, unable to answer. More, indeed, but what was it? She had proven that the groeliin could be something other than the dark and dangerous creatures that the Antrilii had hunted for centuries. But what would be done with that information? Was that now her purpose? Endric hadn’t been clear about what he wanted from her, but then, she wasn’t certain that she would do exactly what he wanted, anyway. Endric had his own motives, and she had to be careful with him, knowing that the general often had something else in mind beyond what he shared. He planned and strategized in a way that she still struggled to fathom. The more she learned about him, the more he impressed her.
“I think Endric wanted us to return to Vasha so he could show me the caverns beneath the city.”
“That’s quite the journey for such a small reveal.”
“But it wasn’t a small reveal,” she said. He had shown her that there was much more to Vasha than she had ever known. It was much like learning there was more to the Magi than she had ever known.
“And your sister?”
Isandra sighed. She had left Karrin in Vasha, and wondered whether she would ever see her again. Karrin had not agreed with Isandra, and had not agreed with what she had chosen, but that no longer mattered to her quite the way it once did. Karrin had kept something of an open mind, but she had done so almost reluctantly. She had sided with Alriyn, but even that had come out of her affection for the Eldest and not so much for her beliefs.
“My sister will need more time,” she said.
For years, Karrin had been the only person Isandra had. Losing her sister was painful, but having Jassan—and her merahl companion—softened that a little.
“Do you intend for us to go back to Farsea?”
“You know what I saw as much as I do.”
Jassan nodded.
It was difficult for her to believe that she had experienced a vision, but what else could it have been? There had been a flash, and a face—one that she had never seen before, but one that was unmistakably a god. She felt compelled to follow that, and to see why he might have summoned her back to the Antrilii lands.
The Great Betrayal (The Lost Prophecy Book 8) Page 5