by Ana Mardoll
He chuckles again and gives me a quick squeezing hug, more friendly than fiery. "Never thought otherwise," he assures me, his grin as bright as ever. "Hey. Get some sleep. They'll bring food later if we're lucky, but you can never get enough sleep. You're safe with me. Ain't nothing gonna hurt you in here, pretty girl."
I don't think I can sleep. I'm not tired, I'm not comfortable, and I'm worried for Miyuki. But closing my eyes and listening to the water trickling down the cave walls is easier than trying to explain feelings I don't have words for. Nuzzling into his warm embrace, I breathe in the scent of his clean body and wondering if I'll ever feel safe enough to tell him my real name, and if he would live long enough afterwards to use it.
Chapter 14
Keoki
I'm still reeling from the shock of being alive. I've survived the arena a second time and my arms still tremble, though I think I managed to hide the worst of it from the other guys. I'm relieved to be shuffled into the privacy offered by my little cave, where I can shake all I want in the darkness. Here no one can read the emotions in my face as my brain replays on a loop the near-deaths Christian and I just experienced.
Well, almost no one. I have no idea what to do with the girl who's been shoved in here with me. I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I would almost rather she hadn't been awarded to me at all. I preferred the one who was presented to Christian, and when Handler gave me this one Tony wouldn't even meet my eye. I'd been serious before when I asked him to come and share, but he'd seemed no more interested in this girl than I am. So now I'm stuck here, without the Prize I wanted and no Tony coming to join me.
She's pretty, I guess. She has short black hair like Tony's, which falls into her eyes, but she keeps those eyes low and downcast, with none of the bright evaluation of her friend's piercing gaze. The other girl had studied us in the main cavern before Christian took her away, her eyes alighting from face to face around our circle. I'd shivered when she looked at me, feeling as though she could see into my heart. Handler had said she was valuable, but I could see that without being told.
In contrast, this one seems distant and faraway, like she's not quite here with me. She hasn't once looked up at my face; instead, she just stands silently in the center of the room, her hands fretting at the fabric of her dress. Maybe she's nervous? There's certainly no enthusiasm in her face or frame. I guess I can't blame her, since the lack of interest is mutual; I don't even remember her name, because I'd been watching the other girl when Handler introduced them. I feel guilty about that; it isn't her fault she's not her friend.
Taking a deep breath, I give her my best reassuring smile. "Hey, I don't know if they told you, but I'm kind of new to all this," I tell her. I stay close to the door, not wanting to frighten her further. "It sounds like we have plenty of time together, so we don't have to rush into anything." I hesitate on this last point; I'm not actually sure when Handler plans to collect her, but it sounded like it would be a long wait. "Do you want to sit down? Or do you need to use the bathroom?"
Her eyes remain downcast, yet her voice is louder than I'd expected: strong and thick, but with a tremor rippling through the words. "No. Thank you. Don't touch me. Please. I need you to keep your hands away, o-okay?" She falters on the last word as her voice cracks with rising panic.
I blink at her. "Uh, okay. You... You know I'm not going to hurt you, right?" I duck my head, trying to catch her eye, but she still doesn't look up. "Do you know Diamond? Because I told her—"
We're interrupted by a soft knock at the door. I turn to open it, frowning as I do. The last thing I want right now is another glimpse of Handler's creepy face, but maybe this intrusion could be a good thing. I could ask him to take the girl away, since she clearly doesn't want to be here. I could improvise a plausible reason that wouldn't get her into trouble: I'm hungry, maybe, or I'm cramping up after the bout.
Except it's not Handler on the other side. Tony slips through the cracked door, throwing his arms around my neck before I can react. He shoves the door closed with his foot as his lips press hotly against my mouth.
A moment before, I couldn't even recall the word 'kiss' but now the concept comes flooding back. My heart is pounding so loudly you could hear it from the arena because, holy crap, he does like me after all, he likes me back, he's kissing me and I didn't even need to get beaten up first, he's actually kissing me. My hands find his hips to pull him closer but he presses hard against me, pushing me backwards. I move with his guiding step, perfectly happy to let him take the lead here and everywhere else.
There's a soft gasp behind me, and I realize with belated guilt that the girl has been forced to scramble away from us as Tony pushes me towards her. I turn to see her backing into the far wall of the cave, her wide eyes containing a trace of panic. I can't think why she would be frightened of Tony, but Diamond had said some of the girls were new and easily scared. Probably she's afraid he jumps everyone like this, and she'd been keen not to be touched.
"Hey, it's okay," I tell her, raising my palms in a placating gesture. "This is my buddy, Tony. He's just, uh." I look back at him with a chuckle in my throat, blanking on the right words to explain how we went from wrestling in the sand earlier to kissing just now, his soft mouth moving over mine with painful urgency.
"Confused," he finishes for me, laughing softly. He throws her an easy grin, but his black eyes are unreadable in the dark. "Sorry. I thought she was answering the door for you, Keoki."
I blink at him as the world comes crashing down around my ears. "You thought... I was the girl? Here I figured you were just relieved to have me back alive." My words are light and teasing, but I'm cut by his reversal; if the kiss was a mistake, what does that mean? Did he not mean to do it or not want to do it? Will he not want to do it again?
He pauses long enough for me to wonder if he's heard what I said, then tosses his shaggy hair back and flashes the same smile he'd given her. "That, too. We all are. I've seen people break their legs falling from the platforms, and the Master almost never agrees to let us keep them alive. It'd be awful to lose you so soon, newbie. So, yeah, relief-kisses all around."
I'm not sure how to take this—nor how to tell him that I only want kisses from him right now—so I try to match his smile and easy stance. "Well, hopefully not all round," I point out, maintaining our joking tone. "It'd get kind of crowded in here if we added more people, don't you think? Everyone else can have fun doing whatever it is they're doing now."
He chuckles again and stretches his arms behind his head, balancing on the balls of his feet as if he's in practice or antsy to move. "Good point. Everyone else is relaxing. There are never two bouts in one cycle, so we're safe until first bell. Sleep, talk trash, practice; Teacher'll be in the sandpit, but it's up to us to show up and work. I said I wasn't feeling too good and was going to my room. Ended up here instead," he adds, giving me that lopsided arrogant grin of his.
"So no one knows you're here?" I wouldn't mind if the others knew, but I suppose there might be some rule against it. Tony may have agreed to share my Prizes, but no one ever actually said whether that's allowed.
He shakes his head, his eyes never leaving my face. "Nah. Our little secret. Handler said he'd bring food later, then check on you and Christian to make sure you're being treated right. We've got plenty of time to play together before I slip out." His eyes flick to the girl behind me. "The three of us, I mean."
I glance over my shoulder at the girl, still pressed against the far wall and watching Tony warily, then turn back to him, rubbing my neck. "Well, there's a problem with that. She doesn't want to be touched."
Tony's gaze doesn't meet mine, lingering on her instead. "Oh." His voice is quieter now, more serious. His smile fades into solemnity: sympathy tinged with disappointment. The disappointment hits me hardest; I'd invited him here for some fun and he'd slipped away to join me, only to have his hopes dashed.
He'll leave now. The realization makes my stomach clench. I'd thought I wanted to b
e alone, but that changed when he arrived. I don't want him to leave and I'm afraid if he does, he won't come back.
"Hey, there's always next time," I tell him, willing the statement to be true, hoping he'll agree with me. I need a sign that this isn't a one-time failed experiment that won't be tried again. "Right?"
He considers this in silence, his expression maddeningly blank. "Well, but this time was supposed to be fun," he points out. "You need something good to take your mind off that fight just now."
I blink at him. Of all the reasons for him to be disappointed, I hadn't ranked my own discomfort high on the list. "Uh, I mean." I cast a glance back at the wary girl. "She doesn't want to, so that's just how it is. I don't want anyone who isn't, uh, eager. You know?"
He nods at this, his face still solemn. "Yeah," he agrees quietly. He takes a deep breath, looking as though he's made a decision. "Maybe we can still make it fun for you," he murmurs, stepping closer. He slides his hand around the back of my neck and draws me forward, his lips finding mine again.
I freeze in place, not wanting to do anything to break this kiss. Is this real? Is he really kissing me again? There can't be any mistake this time, he has to want this, and after a single skipped heartbeat my mouth moves over his, matching his slow pace and opening at his gentle urging. His tongue flicks out in a quick teasing movement, caressing my lips where they part, and the sensation sends a sharp shiver down to my toes. He hesitates at my trembling, drawing back just enough to allow his dark eyes to scrutinize mine.
"You're making my knees weak," I confess, giving him a laughing smile to cover my own embarrassment. I can push over a giant rock column in the arena, but I can't even stand up straight in here with him!
He watches me for a long moment, and when he speaks his voice is husky. "Well, maybe we should get you into bed," he suggests. Then his solemn expression cracks into that lopsided smile, sending another shiver rippling through my legs. "Before you fall over, I mean."
My heart leaps into my throat at the suggestion; I'm not sure precisely what he wants to do with me in bed, just that I very much want to find out. My hands find his hips again, trying to pick up where we left off before. I step slowly backwards towards my bed, drawing him with me as I walk. His grin broadens and he slides his hands up my arms, guiding me with a firm grip so I don't back into the wall.
When he angles me down towards the niche that holds my bed, my eyes fall on the girl. Her eyes are still wide as she watches us. "Oh." I freeze and he nearly runs into me, taken by surprise at the sudden resistance. "Tony, what about her?"
He turns to look at her, frowning uncertainly. "Oh." He repeats my own doubtful noise, chewing over the logistics of one cave with three people in it. "Right," he says, making a decision. Releasing his hold on me, he moves quickly to the bed, gathering up the thin blanket and long pillow in his arms.
Approaching her slowly, he holds out the items like an offering. She blinks at him, not shying away but not jumping forward to take them either. "Here. You can make a little shelter on the floor," Tony urges, shaking the pillow at her. "And, uh, you can cover your ears. Sorry. We'll be real quiet."
She snorts, one hand flying up to cover her mouth and nose. "I'll manage," she tells him firmly, the hint of a smile flitting over her face. She takes the pillow and blanket, plops down on the floor with them, and wraps the blanket around her head and shoulders, disappearing inside.
Tony takes a step back, but his eyes linger on the blanket-lump and he hesitates. "Thanks," he says, rubbing the palm of his hand against his leg, looking a little nervous. "And you won't tell, will you?"
"Nothing for me to tell," she points out from her shelter. "I don't see anything."
He flashes a dazzling smile that would bowl me over had it been aimed at me. "You're a life-saver." He turns on his heel and hurries back to me, his hands already outstretched to press on my chest and lower me into bed. I sink back, feeling a strange sense of familiarity; Diamond had pushed me in much the same way, but he doesn't drop to his knees like she did.
Instead he stands over me, beautiful in the dim light. His scars stand out on his skin like paths I want to travel with my fingers. He grins with confidence and eagerness and giddy relief, throwing one last glance back at the pile of pillow and blanket and girl squatting against the far wall. "Sure you don't want to join us?" he teases, laughter bubbling up in his voice. "Last chance!"
The girl snorts again, sounding almost as amused as he is. "I'm fine over here, thanks," she says firmly, her voice muffled through the blanket.
I open my mouth to thank her and join in the teasing, but before I can draw a breath his lips are on mine again, his body leaning into me as he bends to kiss me. His hands pull at my clothes, dragging the wrappings away. I reach up to follow his example, pulling at his clothes with equal urgency.
Our kiss breaks for an unbearably long moment as we fumble through the worst of the knots. "Not there, here", he whispers, his low voice full of all the frustration I feel at being unable to render him naked faster. Then the cloth falls away and he's pressing me back on the bed, pushing me to lie down even as I pull him along with me because I'd rather have him fall on top of me than break the kiss again. He tumbles down heavily but I don't feel the slightest twinge of pain as he scrambles onto his side next to me.
I turn to face him, my lips seeking his again, my fingers exploring his body as quickly as I can: the soft skin of his back, laced with rough ridges of scars; the hard muscles in his arms, thicker than my own; the line of his hip pressed against mine. Now this is a prize, I think as he bites at my lower lip, causing a burst of hot need that pools in my stomach. This is what I didn't have with Diamond: being wanted.
"Thank you." It's a stupid thing to say; I feel foolish as I blurt out the words, gasping for breath between kisses. The words had fluttered through my mind and I'd opened my mouth without thinking. Yet he doesn't laugh at me, doesn't engage in any justified teasing. Instead, he draws back to study my face, his lips curved into that arrogant smile even as he pants for air.
"You're welcome." His hand snakes down my chest, gripping me where my skin is hottest, his fingers curling around me until I gasp—and not for air this time. "But I haven't done the thing you're supposed to thank me for," he adds, his smile widening. "Guess I should get on with that." His hand moves over me, drawing a long shudder through my legs and causing my eyes to clench shut at the unexpected intensity.
I groan and my hands fumble in their journey down his stomach, wanting to touch him in the same way he's touching me. If I can make him feel even half as good as I do right now, I'll consider that a victory. He hisses through clenched teeth when my fingers reach their destination, his dark eyes fluttering shut, and I'm pretty sure my own grin could give his arrogance a fair fight.
"Remind me sometime," I tease him, trying not to gasp as his hand continues to work on me, "to show you something I learned from Diamond."
I'm rewarded with a short bark of laughter, his fingers playing in a light teasing pattern before settling into a grip that takes my breath away. "Newbie," he gasps, "there is nothing Diamond can make you feel that I can't do better."
"Keoki," I correct him, giving him a mock frown as I play, one hand stroking the soft skin of his thigh just lightly enough to tickle.
"Keoki!" he gasps in agreement, squirming at my touch. "My point—ah!—stands."
I grin in the dark, enjoying the show, the way his solemn face flickers with little smiles and gasps as I touch him. "Does that mean you'll come back?" I whisper, giving him a shamelessly shy smile in the hope that he won't turn down my wide eyes. "To show me how much better you are?"
His soft growl is almost feral, like something I'd expect from a monster in the arena. "Keoki, the only reason I'm not showing off right now is because I need my lips up here to kiss you." His free hand snakes around behind the back of my head, tangling in my hair to drag me closer; his lips crush against mine hard enough to bruise, and I can't bring myself t
o care.
That's a promise, I think to myself, because I couldn't break away from our kiss even if I wanted to. I'm holding you to that. My fingers tighten around him, matching his movements and speed even if I can't copy his talent for precise touch. He groans into my mouth, his lips warm against mine, and then cries out very quietly, baring his teeth in a soft bite against my shoulder.
His hand doesn't stop moving, relentless in his determination to please me. It's almost a surprise—and yet perfectly familiar—when the surge of pleasure bubbles through me, and then I understand why he had to brace his teeth, because I feel I'm about to clench my jaw into dust from the intensity of it. "Tony," I hiss, my hands on his back, pulling him into me, praying I'm not hurting him with my strength but oh, yes! it's so much better than anything I've ever felt before.
Then I'm letting him go, the blood rising to my cheeks in embarrassment. There's a flash of hurt in his dark eyes as I rush to scoot away from him. "I didn't hurt you, did I?" I gasp, my throat raw. "I know I'm strong— I didn't mean to— I'm sorry."
He stares at me for a long moment, then his face breaks into a smile so bright the cave is lighter for it. "Nah. You can't hurt me, newb— Keoki." He slides his arm under his head, using his elbow as a pillow while he gropes behind him for one of the long pieces of cloth to pull over us like a blanket. "Everything is good." Leaning in, he kisses me again: a slow, lingering kiss lasting longer than I can measure and still not long enough.
I bring my own arm up, mimicking his makeshift cushion. "And you'll come back?" I tease, though my heart is still racing with the fear that he won't. I don't want to put pressure on him, but I hate to think this might be a once-off thing.
Tony grins at me. "Count on it," he says with a chuckle, closing his eyes and pulling me closer. "Still got lots to show you."
Chapter 15
Aniyah