by Chelle Bliss
“So that’s a yes?” she asks with so much hopefulness in her eyes, I can’t help but nod. Her little body vibrates with excitement. “This is the best day ever.”
“It’s almost time,” Roger says from the doorway, looking stunning as always in his pristine and overpriced suit. “Are you ready?”
“One second,” I tell him before returning my full attention to Tate. I wrap my arms around her, hugging her tightly. “I love you, Tate.”
“I love you too, Mommy,” she says before wiggling out of my arms and dashing to the door right past Roger.
The tears I’ve somehow held in start to fall, growing in intensity as the power and importance of her last words hit me.
“Oh shit. Don’t cry. You’re going to mess up your makeup.” Roger stalks toward me, pulling a tissue from the box sitting on the table near the doorway.
“Did you hear her?” My words come out garbled because my face is scrunched up in the worst ugly-cry expression ever. It’s not pretty, and I’m glad she waited to say those words until we were alone.
Roger nods. “Kid’s got timing.” He laughs as he bends down and hands me the tissue.
I press the soft cotton to my face, careful not to smear my makeup, which I’m sure is already running down my face. Roger reaches into his jacket and fishes out two envelopes.
“I have two letters for you today.”
I raise my eyebrows, and I know the floodgates are about to break wide open.
“One from your past and one from your future,” he says as he places them in my hand. “Take your time reading them. The people will wait.”
“Look at me,” I say through my tears, noticing the mascara all over the tissue.
“I’ll get Martin back here. He’s the best drag makeup artist in Chicago. He can fix your face.”
I laugh and cry at the same time, tightening my hold on the envelopes.
“Breathe, Tilly.”
I inhale, trying to calm myself down, even though there’s no use. Whatever’s inside these envelopes will undoubtedly do nothing to make the tears stop falling.
“I’ll be back in a few minutes.” Roger pats my hands before walking toward the door.
I stare up at him and take another deep breath. When he leaves, I glance down at both men’s handwriting, trying to prepare myself for the emotional ass-kicking I’m about to receive.
I place Angelo’s letter in my lap before carefully opening the envelope from Mitchell.
Tilly,
This isn’t a goodbye. A love like ours will never have an end, existing like the greatest galaxies in the universe, but on different paths.
Today’s your wedding day. Something I thought about when I made arrangements in case something unexpected happened to me. I knew you’d grieve my absence, close yourself off from the world, but I hoped Roger would help keep you going, reminding you of all the reasons life is so wonderful.
If you’re reading this letter, you’ve found love again. I no longer have to worry about you being alone. I can finally rest, knowing you’ve found someone to love you like you deserve to be loved.
Just know I’m happy. Today should be filled with celebration and not sorrow. Stop mourning what you lost and look forward to all you’ve gained.
We’re lucky to have one great love in our lifetime. I was blessed the day I found you. But you’ve found something rare again. Hold on to that. Cherish it. Give your all and remember the preciousness of each moment.
I’ll be with you today and always. You may not see me or feel me by your side, but I’ll watch over you until the day you take your last breath.
As you take the first steps down the aisle, look to the future and not the past. Let go of the hurt, bury the sadness and grief deep, and move forward to your future.
Live life well.
Be fierce.
Love strong and deeply.
And know I’ll always love you.
Yours Always,
Mitchell
“I love you, Mitchell,” I whisper as I fold the paper carefully. “Always.”
Moments of our time together flash through my mind, playing like a sped-up movie reel. So much love. So much happiness. Then the grief of knowing I’d lost him forever.
I lift Angelo’s envelope and close my eyes as I tear open the paper.
Tilly,
As you walk down the aisle today, know I’m only looking forward to our future. Although our dark pasts have brought us together, forging a love and understanding no other two people can fathom, our souls will be joined eternally in love and happiness.
Our pasts define us. We cannot wipe away what happened or forget about what we’ve lost. Mitchell and Marissa will always be a part of who we are and the guiding force that has brought us together.
Today, I take you as my wife, making you mine forever and giving myself to you completely. Not only am I giving you my soul, but my family too. Tate and Brax are completely in love with you, and I know you’ll love them as if they were your own.
I will always protect you from anyone who wishes you harm, and shelter you as best I can from any pain until I take my last breath.
Thank you for coming into my life and opening your heart, showing me that love is possible again. I thought my heart died that day, but you’ve brought me back to life and made me whole again.
Now, come to me, my love. We have a future to live.
I love you, Tilly.
Yours,
Angelo
I’m almost hyperventilating, barely able to make out the final line with my vision filled with tears. How is a girl supposed to walk down the aisle and not look like a hot mess after two letters like that? It’s impossible.
I let the tears fall, allowing the sadness of Mitchell’s words to seep into my veins before embracing Angelo’s wishes for what our future holds.
“Oh shit. Honey, this is a code red,” Martin says as he sashays into the room, holding a makeup bag that’s bigger than most carry-ons. “You need to stop, or I’ll never be able to fix this.” He places his hand on my chin, moving my face side to side.
“Is it that bad?” I sniffle like it’s somehow going to make all my puffiness disappear.
Martin grimaces. “No. It’s doable,” he lies.
I close my eyes and groan. “I look awful.”
Martin places the bag on the floor and kneels before me. “Look at me, sweetheart,” he says softly.
I open my eyes and glance at the man sitting in front of me, who, by the way, has eyelashes every girl would envy.
“You are beautiful, and when you walk out of this room, you’ll look fierce.”
I want to argue. Fierce isn’t exactly the look I was going for on my wedding day, but I guess it’s better than a puffy hot mess, which I no doubt look like now.
“Do your magic.” I muster a smile.
Ten minutes later, Martin hands me a mirror and stares at me. “I should win an award for this masterpiece,” he says with the biggest smile.
I stare at myself, unable to believe the work he’s just done. I barely look like I’ve shed a tear. “You’re a genius.”
“Darling, tell me something I don’t already know,” he says before opening the door to where Roger’s waiting. “She’s ready.”
Roger’s gaze moves across my face as his mouth drops open. “Damn, Martin. I knew you had it in you.”
Martin runs his finger down Roger’s tie. “You owe me, big boy.”
“You know I’ll pay up,” Roger says with a wink before looking over Martin’s shoulder at me. He clears his throat and steps to the side. “Are you ready? Everyone’s waiting.”
I rise to my feet, take a deep breath, and head toward my future.
8
Angelo
“Breathe, brother.” Lucio’s hand is on my shoulder as he stares down at me, slowly shaking his head. “This isn’t your first rodeo.”
His words don’t give me solace. I’m not nervous about getting married. Tilly’s th
e best thing that’s happened to me since Marissa passed away.
But I never thought I’d be happy again. After such immense grief, the possibility of finding even a small sliver of something special seemed completely out of reach.
“I’m fine, man.” I climb to my feet and shake out my hands, letting go of whatever’s chewing on my gut.
“It’s time.” Roger stands in the doorway of the room we’ve been sequestered in next to the altar.
“Did you give her the letter?” I ask.
Roger nods. “She’s getting her makeup fixed right now.”
“Shit.” I run my fingers through my hair, knowing I should’ve given it to her last night.
Roger steps forward and swats my hand away from my head. “You’ve got to stop doing that. Now I have to fix this mess,” he says as he starts to fiddle with my hair, smoothing back the pieces I’ve moved out of place. His gaze keeps flickering to my face between movements. “Stop stressing out. This is a happy day.”
“Roger, you’re one of us now,” I tell him as I peer up at him. They’re words that need to be said and should’ve been spoken long ago. “We’re your family.”
Roger lost a lot when his brother died. He went from having a brother to having no one. A single second changed his world, right down to how he identified himself.
“What?” He widens his eyes.
I reach out and grip his arm. “You’re part of our family now, Roger. You’re my brother too. My family is yours.”
Lucio, Vinnie, and Leo stop moving and walk toward us.
“You’d…” His voice trails off while tears fill his eyes as he sweeps his gaze across us.
Lucio touches Roger’s shoulder. “Family is more than blood.”
“Today, you become one of us.” I gaze into his water-filled eyes, and his face scrunches into a horrendous ugly cry. “You’ll never be alone again.”
“Jesus,” Roger hisses. “Are you trying to make us all look like shit for the wedding pictures?”
I burst out laughing because it’s Roger. He’s so manly about some things and so not about others.
Vinnie steps forward and hands Roger a tissue. “Dry your face, princess. You have a bride to walk down the aisle.”
Roger dabs the water from his face, concentrating on taking deep, long breaths. “You seriously have shit timing,” he tells me as he crumples the tissue in the palm of his hand.
“Go get my girl and bring her to me.” I slowly rub my hands together and take a deep breath. It feels like we’ve been waiting forever for this day to get here, when it’s only been a year.
Roger slaps my shoulder and strides toward the door. He stops just before stepping into the hallway and turns to face us. “I love you guys,” he says softly, still choked up.
“Yeah, yeah.” Vinnie waves his arms toward Roger and stalks toward the doorway. “What’s not to love? Now, go get Tilly. We have a wedding to celebrate.”
“Are you ready to do this soon?” I ask Vinnie after he chases Roger from the room.
He fidgets with his tie, gazing toward the brown tile floor. “Never been more ready for anything in my life.”
I smile, wondering when my brother is finally going to spill the secret he’s been trying to keep from everyone. “You’re going to be a good dad.”
Vinnie’s eyes come to mine. “Someday,” he says like I’m a moron.
“Dude, give it up. I know you knocked up Bianca.”
Lucio jerks his head back. “What?”
I tip my chin toward Vinnie, whose mouth is gaping open. “He’s been hiding it for months, Lucio. I thought you knew. Didn’t you notice she wasn’t drinking last night?”
He shakes his head. “I had no idea.”
Vinnie closes the distance between us and looks me straight in the eye. “Not a word of this to anyone.”
I throw up my hands. “My lips are sealed, brother. But eventually, you’re going to have to tell people. Bianca’s starting to show.”
Lucio rubs his forehead. “How could I have been so blind?”
“We’re going to announce it closer to the wedding.”
“Because?” I stare at him in confusion.
“I’m pretty sure her father’s going to want to murder me. The closer we are to the wedding, the better chance I have to survive.”
I laugh. “He can kill you, no matter what. I know if someone knocked up Tate, I’d strangle the very last breath from their body with my own bare hands.”
Vinnie swallows. “Her dad will be fine.”
I raise an eyebrow.
“I mean, he has to be. It’s not like I took her virginity.”
I shake my head slowly. “Don’t use that as your reasoning with her father. That’ll make you dead in a heartbeat.”
“Well, we’ll find out soon enough, won’t we?”
I nod. “Never thought I’d see the day you’d settle down and become a family man.”
I pray to fuck Vinnie has a daughter. He’ll be beside himself with worry, knowing just what kind of men are out there in the world. He was that guy, after all. The one trying to get into all their panties and every father’s worst nightmare.
“Stop talking.” He puts up his hand.
“You girls done chitchatting?” Pop asks as he fiddles with his cuff links just outside the door.
Lucio brushes past my father with a low rumble, and I follow. The closer I get to the altar, the more the knot in my gut loosens.
Ma’s eyes are on me as I walk out and stand near the top step, waiting for my girl. “I love you,” she mouths to me.
I throw a wink in her direction and spot the tissues already balled in her lap. The woman is a sap at weddings. Always has been, and always will be. She’s tough as nails most times. No one messes with Betty Gallo, the Irish spitfire who hasn’t lost her sass even at her age. But there’s something about a wedding that always has her in tears.
I sweep my gaze around the church, taking in all the friends and family who have come today to watch us finally become husband and wife. The family is mostly mine, and the friends are an even mix between the two of us. Relatives have come from far and wide; even a few from Italy showed their faces to celebrate my big day…again.
I turn to my brothers, watching as they fidget because they hate being the center of attention as much as I do. Standing up here with all eyes on us, we’re all out of our comfort zones.
The moment the sounds of the piano fill the church and the double doors open at the end of the aisle, everyone stands, and all eyes go to the back of the church and, thankfully, away from us.
Daphne’s the first to head down the aisle. She’s dressed in a deep red gown, hair pulled up, and her gaze pinned on her husband, who’s standing beside Vinnie. Sometimes, I forget my sister is grown with a family of her own, and I wonder where the time went and I hate how quickly it all passed.
Bianca’s not too far behind Daphne, trying to hide her baby bump behind the small bouquet of flowers she has resting low on her stomach. I turn to my brother, finding him in almost a trance as he stares at his fiancée. I’ve never seen him so gone over a woman, but I have to admit, the look is good on him.
Delilah holds Lulu’s hand, walking her tiny body down the aisle on her wobbly, chubby legs. There’s no way we could forget her during our big day, but she’s too small to walk on her own. We also couldn’t trust Tate to make sure the kid made it down the aisle on her two feet.
Tate and Brax are holding hands as they stand near the double doors with my father by their side, holding them back so they don’t run everyone over. Tate looks adorable and sweet in her light pink floor-length gown, wanting to look like Tilly on this big day. Brax looks like a tiny man in his suit, and I pray he keeps the tie on long enough to make it through pictures. All bets are off afterward. He’s already announced he hates the way the stiff material feels against his skin.
Tate, in true Tate fashion, practically pulls Brax down the aisle before releasing her hold on him and
digging her tiny hands into the basket of flower petals.
Tate loves being the center of attention.
She’s eating up the way the people in the pews are staring at her and full of smiles. My kid doesn’t have an ounce of shyness in her, and I know there’s going to be hell to pay when she’s older.
Brax watches his sister as she throws the flowers high in the air with such a flourish, the wedding guests laugh.
My heart aches in my chest as I watch my two babies head toward me. They’re so grown-up for still being so small. Living through tragedy will do that to anyone, and the tiniest among us are not immune. Marissa would be so proud of the kids and, hopefully, of the job I’ve done as a father in her absence. There’s not a day that goes by, I don’t think of her. The kids keep her fresh in my mind, tiny clones of their mother in so many ways.
When Brax and Tate finally arrive at the steps to the altar, Daphne moves quickly to greet them and ensure they make it to the top in one piece.
Brax rushes toward me and grabs my hand, while his sister stomps up the stairs, making as much noise as possible with her dress shoes against the cold, hard marble. I bite back my laughter as Daphne pulls Tate to the side of the altar, even as she’s still throwing flower petals like they are confetti at a parade.
My hand tightens on Brax’s shoulder as Roger and Tilly step into the doorway. The very sight of Tilly dressed in white, with layers of lace and silk, has my body unable to move. All the air in my lungs vanishes as she takes her first step toward me. Her hand is nestled in the crook of Roger’s arm, but her eyes are locked on mine.
Even though it’s both of our second weddings, I wanted to give Tilly something grand. She and Mitchell had married at the courthouse with little fanfare or celebration.
This time, she’d have the wedding of her dreams. Big. Lavish. Over the top. Whatever she wanted, I made sure she got it.
I’d do anything for the woman walking my way, ready to become my wife. Whatever put a smile on her face, I’d do that too. She made me happy, brought the joy back into my world when all I saw was darkness.