by Lucia Ashta
“How dare you betray me like that!”
“I thought it was you. Actually, until just now, I thought she was you.”
“How could you? She can’t possibly be me. She doesn’t act, think, or talk like me.”
“Nor does she remember anything from your life. But I thought she forgot all those things when she traveled across space to O.”
The Princess looked back and forth between him and me, suspicious.
“Believe me or not, it’s the truth. That won’t change no matter what you do or say. Besides, what I did was a misunderstanding. I honored our promise to each other as I best understood how. You, however, purposefully lied to me.”
“Did I?”
It was the hedging response of someone who’d lied on multiple occasions and didn’t want to venture into which incident he might be talking about it. I thought Tanus noticed it too.
“You most definitely did. You bedded Dolpheus and didn’t tell me, even knowing I’d consider it a great betrayal.”
I noticed Narcisse jump a bit in surprise from behind Lila and Kai, who already knew.
“I did that before I loved you.” Despite myself, I was happy to hear the change in her for Tanus’ sake. At least she could admit to having loved him.
“I know, and I also know that you did it at your father’s command. Just as you bedded me.”
She startled. “How do you know that?”
“The information wasn’t easy to come by. You could’ve just told me.”
Suddenly, I felt like we were all spectators to a private conversation between lovers. I didn’t like it, because up until moments ago, I’d considered Tanus my lover. Now, I didn’t think he was mine anymore.
I thought that perhaps all of us thought to leave and offer them privacy, but we all were too curious to do it.
She said, “If you know all this, then you know I didn’t betray you, not really.”
“You did betray me. You lied to me about it.”
“By the oasis, Tanus, I had to! I couldn’t risk you finding out why I bedded you in the first place.”
“Why? Because you couldn’t trust me to understand? Wasn’t our love for each other strong enough to get through it?”
“Is it strong enough to get through this?”
Tanus didn’t answer right away. She said, “I don’t want to talk about this with spectators here. I’m a princess of the Andaron line. Even on Planet Sand, you owe me more than this.”
“I do,” he said, and my heart sank into my stomach. “Will you all leave us for a bit?”
Everyone started to file away, and when I passed Tanus, he reached for my hand, an important gesture given the hawk-like glare the Princess fixed on him. He squeezed my hand for a second, but then let me pass without a word.
“Actually,” the Princess said, “it would be better if we postpone this conversation.”
Those already halfway to the hall turned back.
“I have something I have to deal with that I can’t delay. But I’ll be back. And then we talk.”
And just like that, the Princess of Planet Origins, who’d shown up to turn my already-jumbled world completely upside down, spun on the heel of her sophisticated boot and sashayed out the door, leaving us all staring at her seductive hourglass figure as she departed, sure in the knowledge that every one of our eyes were on her.
6
The second the door closed behind her, I sank onto the bed as if all the air had been stolen from me, and now I was no more than flesh and bone, too heavy to stand.
Tanus sat next to me on the bed—without touching. The small space he left between us might have been too small for me to notice before. But now, after what just happened, it felt like a divide as wide as the Grand Canyon.
He bent his elbows on his knees and started to rake both hands through his wavy brown hair, until the position appeared to cause him too much pain. He scooted across the bed, boots and all, to lean against the headboard. Widening the gap between us.
Long moments passed, notable only because of the heavy silence that darkened them. Other than the princess, no one had moved. But none of us said a word—not yet—for what exactly was there to say that could make a difference in this clusterfuck of a day that had just screwed up my already screwed up life?
I sensed Tanus’ eyes on me, but I pretended I didn’t. I examined the walls, then my hands, until I concluded that they were the same elegant appendages as a princess of Origins. I rubbed them across my jeans, the ones I’d replaced as soon as I returned to Earth. They were no skintight dress, but they were tight, and I liked to think they hugged every one of my curves just as well as the Princess’ dress.
Finally, after several minutes passed in stunned silence, Dolpheus spoke. “By the oasis, that was certainly something I didn’t see coming.” He stepped into the room and plopped down on the bed between Tanus and me. Dolpheus’ weight indented the mattress, making me readjust so that I wouldn’t slide toward him.
“That’s for sure,” Lila said, following him in, looking at Dolpheus and me, deliberating, I thought, whether there was room for her to squeeze in between us.
I didn’t want to be near any of them just then. I slid to the foot of the bed, and Lila happily took my place next to O’s renowned ladies’ man.
Kai leaned against the doorframe, watching all of us, though I diverted my eyes. “What on O are we going to do now? The Princess is not one to mess with.”
As if we didn’t realize that. Even though I was, apparently, the only person on our entire team that didn’t belong on O, even I got that. Anyone who met the Princess would realize right away she wasn’t to be messed with.
Dolpheus said, “Tan, what on O are we going to do about her? About this... mess? I mean, really, how on O did this happen?”
Tanus sighed heavily. “I have no idea, Olph, I really don’t. I never thought I’d say this, but I’m missing our days traveling through the Wilds and the Koal Desert facing down mowabs and rebels.”
“Aye, I miss them too. Definitely. I’d rather face the biggest and baddest of all mowabs than the Princess when she’s displeased.”
“Aye, the Princess is no fun when she isn’t happy.”
“But she’s plenty of fun when she is, I’d bet.” I snapped my mouth shut, angry it had betrayed me. I didn’t want to speak. I didn’t want to be a part of this. I was feeling too much to draw attention to myself. Ugh, my big mouth.
Tanus’ eyes searched out mine like a laser beam. I steadfastly refused to meet them. My eyes were extraordinary because they revealed the cosmos, but they revealed far more than that. They also revealed everything that was going inside me. I’d never been any good at hiding my emotions. I’d always spoken my mind and followed my heart. Now my heart felt as if it were breaking, and no contact lenses could hide that.
Lila, ever the insensitive one, didn’t hold back. “Oh yes, the Princess’ exploits and conquests are legendary, even if she’s supposed to be pure and virginal. It’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard of. All the courtiers of O, many of whom she’s bedded, pretend she’s an innocent, and the rest of O believes it. Meanwhile, she’s a sleek and dangerous cat. What she wants, she gets, and no man—or woman—can resist her... allure.”
I looked at Lila just in time to see a bit of the awe and infatuation she reserved for Dolpheus dancing across her face. Even Lila didn’t seem immune to the Princess’ charms.
“We’re all done for, now that she’s here,” Lila said, sounding more excited by the complications the Princess brought than she should, as if she were going to let her mouth run on and on about it. “We’re at her mercy. Tanus especially is. He’ll—”
Kai said, “Lila, no more. Can’t you tell what’s going on?”
Lila looked up, surprised. “What are you talking about?” For someone as intelligent as she was, she sure didn’t seem to process the scene with anything deeper than her intellect.
The air was so thick you could cut it.
“Lila,” Kai admonished, “just let it be.”
“Why? What am I missing?”
“Everything,” Dolpheus grumbled, but then was quick to course correct. With Aletox still unconscious in the other room, they couldn’t afford to alienate Lila; she was their best chance at fixing the transport capsule’s broken stabilizer function and returning to O.
Where they’d return without me. Now that we knew with certainty that I belonged here, not there, I’d part ways with them. We’d been a team of sorts before, now they’d be a team without me, fighting to make their way back home.
Dolpheus pulled Lila to his side and, instantly, her annoyance at his rebuke evaporated. She sidled into him.
Narcisse, whom I’d nearly forgotten, spoke from the other side of the doorway. I realized that he didn’t think himself a part of this team either. How was that for him? Stranded on a planet that he was born on but not native to, with no one for company but his mother and her ambitions.
He said, “Tanus, should I go tell Mother?”
It was the first time I’d seen him address his older brother so directly.
Another deep sigh from Tanus. He regarded his brother, who looked so much like him except for the gray eyes. “I suppose you should. She seems to be adept at dealing with figures of authority. She might be helpful, I guess, I don’t know.”
“She might be helpful,” Narcisse repeated, suggesting that life might not have been easy for him either. “She probably knows the Princess was here already. Not much happens without Mother’s knowledge. But I’ll go tell her anyway, as she’d expect me to.” He walked away.
Suddenly Tanus seemed as confused and raw as I felt. A lot had to be going on within him, too. He’d only just discovered his mother alive after abandoning him, a brother he didn’t know existed, and a father who was just as crummy as the one he’d always believed was his. And now the woman he loved was actually two women, forcing a choice.
One that I had no intention of trying to influence. Unless he asked me otherwise, I’d already decided I would bow out of this. He was from Origins, so was the Princess. They’d loved each other before me, assuming the Princess was capable of love. Tanus had believed that she was.
Tanus stood up, as fast as he could move given his debilitated condition, and started to pace across the length of the bed. Then he bent over suddenly, bringing hands across his shirt, where I knew bandages bulged beneath. “Fuck!” he yelled to the room. He was angrier than I’d ever seen him. “How the fuck is this happening like this? What...” He grunted unintelligibly, his frustration as loud and fierce as a bull.
He addressed everyone else. “Leave us. I need to speak with Ilara.”
Dolpheus nodded. “Come on, Lila.” She hurried to stand at his side, and she was the only one of all us to look happy.
But once again, no one made it out of the room.
There, at the threshold, appeared another formidable woman. She was nearly as intimidating as the Princess when she wanted to be.
Kai, Lila, and even Dolpheus backed away to make way for Yudelle. Even though the woman was slim, she occupied the whole doorway. Narcisse lingered behind her.
Her eyes zeroed in on Tanus. “So the condenser transferred your message to the Princess and she answered your call?”
“I don’t know, we didn’t get to that part.” Tanus’ words were tight.
“How did you not get to that part? Wasn’t that one of the most important parts?”
Tanus just looked at his mother, his jaw set.
“Well, now that she’s here, what are we going to do about her?”
“Do about her?” Tanus gave what sounded dangerously like a deranged laugh. “We don’t do anything about the Princess. The Princess tells us what to do. That’s the way it goes, or didn’t you know that? Things on O haven’t changed that much since you left it. We’re still all pawns to the wishes of the Andaron Dynasty.”
“Yet you dared to break its laws and love the Princess in secret?”
“I did, but only after the King ordered her to seduce me to get information about your husband and his evil splicing industry.”
Yudelle hadn’t known this, it was clear she was stung for a fraction of a second before she hid her emotions from view again.
“Your affair with the Princess was part of the King’s plan?”
“It was,” Tanus ground out.
“And you think the King’s plan stops at information gathering? The King’s plans never stop where you think they do. He’s an intelligent, cunning man, who’s manipulated an entire realm for an entire millennium. You don’t think he plays all his cards on the table, do you?”
I smarted at the way Yudelle was implying that Tanus was ignorant. From what I’d seen, Tanus was far from it, and even though I’d never had the displeasure of meeting the great and mighty King Oderon, I suspected Tanus was every bit as sharp as he was.
But the time for me to rise to Tanus’ defense was gone, if it’d ever been. How quickly roles had changed. Just hours ago I’d been the confused princess who needed his support assuming her role. Now... well now there was nothing I should need from him. I was back on Earth, my supposed home, where I knew what to do without someone explaining every little detail of the workings of life. Why didn’t it feel like home anymore?
Tanus was perfectly capable of standing up for himself. “Ach, I don’t think King Oderon plays all his cards on the table, but I’m not sure that you do either. I don’t know you, Yudelle. You left me when I was eight. Have you even bothered counting how many hundreds of years it’s been since you abandoned your son? I’ve dealt with the King enough to understand he’s not to be trusted.” The words that implied Tanus didn’t know if he could trust Yudelle hung in the air like a thick and oppressive cologne.
She raised her chin. “I doubt you understand the King as well as I do.”
“You haven’t even seen the King for centuries. I’ve been inside his memories.”
She hadn’t known that either, but that wasn’t enough to keep her from getting in the last word.
“I’ve been in his bed.”
7
“What do you mean you’ve been in the King’s bed?” Tanus asked, and Narcisse took a step closer to the action. He wanted to know too.
But it was clear that Yudelle hadn’t meant to let that particular secret slip out, at least not without need. She frowned. “Just let this be.”
“Just let this be? Are you serious? Clearly you don’t know me at all. That’s proof. Because there’s no way I’m just letting anything be anymore. I’m all finished with that. You owe me explanations, and lots of them, and if I’m not mistaken, you also owe them to Narcisse.”
Even as an offhanded comment, it was an important reference to his brother. It was the first time Tanus overtly looked out for his little brother, still a stranger to him.
Yudelle yielded to Tanus’ determination. “Fine, but we’ll talk about it in a civilized manner. We’re going to sit down and have some tea, like normal people.”
I laughed. Everyone turned to look at me. “What? No one else thinks the suggestion that we might be anywhere near normal people funny?” Silence. “Oooookay then, apparently not.”
“As long as it’s not hakusha tea,” Tanus said.
“Hell no, I abhor the stuff,” Yudelle said. “It reminds me of Brachius.”
“Aye, it reminds me of him too.”
The woman softened for a few seconds. “Was he really all that bad to you?”
“He definitely wasn’t great. He wasn’t even good.”
Something passed between them, and Yudelle said, “Follow me,” and we all did.
By the time we made it to the outdoor patio, a large table was set with tablecloth, flowers, and place settings for each of us. Her staff was either efficient at anticipating her needs or at eavesdropping, or Yudelle had planned our teatime all along.
A few of the men I’d seen in the second van, the one none of us were in, arrived with
two steaming teapots, milk, honey, sugar, tea, and a bunch of other fixings I was sure none of us would need.
“Sit,” Yudelle said. Not usually one to follow orders, I sat without complaint. I was too tired to argue.
I caught Tanus looking my way as I took the seat farthest from him, but pretended not to notice. I busied myself with preparing tea I didn’t even want.
Yudelle sat at the head of the oval table and said, “Did the Princess say what she was going to do?”
“Other than go deal with something and come right back, no,” Tanus said. “But you’re not getting out of it that easily. You bedded the King?”
She pursed her lips, came to some internal conclusion, and answered. “I didn’t bed Oderon. He bedded me.”
“You’re on a first name basis with the mighty King of Origins. I guess that’s what happens when you bed him.”
“Was on a first name basis. As you so aptly pointed out, I haven’t been on O in quite some time. But yes, I was, only because he permitted it. Just like one does everything with the King, only with his permission or desire.”
“And you fulfilled his desire, did you?”
“I did, and I’m not ashamed of what I did. It was what I had to do, for all of us.”
Tanus barked laughter, but it wasn’t a happy sound. “Are you really going to try to argue that you had sex with the King to help me out? Or Narcisse?”
“I’m not going to argue anything with you. I’m telling you, and I’d prefer to tell you this, if I must, in private. This is no one else’s business. I’m not even entirely sure it’s yours.”
“Oh it is mine, since I’m the one who had to raise myself without a mother and without any real father, either. Dolpheus has behaved more like family to me than you ever did, and that’s why I consider him family much more than I do you. And I expect that you owe Narcisse some explanations—or am I mistaken, Narcisse? Has she been forthcoming with you?”
“No, she hasn’t. I’m as in the dark as you are,” Narcisse, who’d chosen a seat next to Tanus, said. It was an outward sign of alliance. Without agreeing to it, the brothers were banding against their mother—against injustice, really.