Her Leading Hero

by Maggie Dallen

  When the doorman announced his visitor, Gregory cursed under his breath. “Send him up.”

  He returned to the living room to find a smug know-it-all still lounging on the sofa.

  “I’ll say this once and then this conversation is over.” He drew in a deep breath. “I do love her, but sometimes that’s not enough.” He held up a hand to stop Ben from interrupting. His ears were ringing from hearing the L-word come out of his own mouth, but now wasn’t the time to agonize over it. Not when he had an unwanted visitor on his way up.

  “Sometimes love is not enough,” he said again.

  “Since when?” Ben shook his head. “Do you even hear yourself? Look, I get it, mate. I understand better than anyone that your intentions are good. You think she’s better off without you.”

  “It’s the truth.”

  “No!” Ben’s voice was loud in the otherwise silent apartment. “It’s not. Take it from me, I had to learn the hard way. You’re only hurting her more, and that girl doesn’t deserve any more pain in her life.”

  Guilt lanced through him. “I already hurt her once. I won’t do it again.”

  Ben’s face twisted in confusion. “You hurt her once. And yeah, that sucked, but it was a slip of the tongue. One mistake, hardly unforgiveable. To end everything based on that? Talk about throwing the baby out with the bathwater.”

  Gregory’s jaw clenched. How could his friend not understand? He knew him better than anyone. “It’s not what I said, but why I said it.”

  Ben raised one brow. “To piss off your dad, right?”

  Gregory gave a jerky nod. Humiliating that his father still held so much power over him. “Don’t you get it? She’d be a pawn between us.” Ben opened his mouth, but Gregory wouldn’t let him interrupt. “And it’s not just that, Ben. You know me. I don’t do commitments. I don’t do serious. And I sure as hell don’t do love.”

  Ben stood, and his look of disappointment spoke volumes. “You know who you sound like, don’t you?”

  Gregory sighed as a knock sounded on the door. “Yeah, I know.”

  Ben kept talking as he followed him down the hall to the front door. “Just because your father repeats himself over and over doesn’t make it true. You know that, don’t you?”

  He ignored him, pushing down the question he wanted to ask. But what if he’s right? What if he did take after his mother? After all, every failed relationship he’d ever had only bolstered that theory. And what if he was destined to run away every time shit hit the fan?

  No. Tamara deserved better. Someone stable, reliable, and capable of giving her the support she needed.

  Ben reached from behind and placed a hand on the door, not letting Gregory open it until he said his piece. “You see the ridiculousness of your actions, don’t you? You have to see that you’re being a complete and utter ass.”

  “Ben, I don’t have time—”

  But Ben refused to budge, and Gregory was forced to let him speak and get it over with—otherwise they would be standing there all day. “All right, Ben. Just say what you want to say.”

  Ben shook his head, his eyes filled with something disturbingly close to pity. “You’re so hell-bent on protecting her from yourself that you don’t even see. In trying to protect her, you’re proving your father right. It’s a fucking self-fulfilling prophecy—you’re hurting her to avoid hurting her.”

  Gregory stared at his friend. The words made sense. Goddammit, it took everything in him not to cave then and there and go running to her, begging for her forgiveness.

  A knock sounded again, louder this time.

  “I should go,” Ben said, finally lifting his hand from the door. Gregory opened it for him and they both turned to stare at his father, who was wearing a deep frown, most likely from having to wait.

  Ben shot him a look over his shoulder. “Good luck.” He moved past Gregory’s father with a small nod, and even that was more of an acknowledgement than he normally gave the older man.

  His father ignored Ben in response—it was a typical interaction between those two. No love lost there.

  Pushing past him into the apartment, his father dove right into business, which was the only reason he was there.

  “I need your signature on those documents.”

  He bit back a nasty retort. He never particularly wanted to see his father, but now he would have done just about anything to get rid of him. He needed time to clear his head after Ben’s lecture. It had stirred up every weighty emotion he’d been trying to avoid this past week.

  Guilt. Pain. Loss. Yearning. Now that Ben had stirred it all up, he needed time to get himself under control. So rather than argue with his father, he simply said. “Fine. Do you have them with you?”

  But his father kept talking as if he’d argued. “I don’t know why you’re holding us up on this. We’ve done our due diligence and—”

  “I said I’d sign.” He couldn’t even remember why he’d been arguing with his father about this deal in the first place. And at the moment, it didn’t seem to matter. It was just a deal—an exchanging of money. What did he care?

  His father either didn’t believe his sudden concession or was looking to pick a fight, because he narrowed his eyes at Gregory and swept him with a look that seemed to take in everything from his mussed hair to his ratty old jeans. “What’s wrong with you?”

  “What do you mean, what’s wrong?”

  “Are you sick?”

  Just heartbroken. But his father wouldn’t want to hear that, even if he could believe it.

  After a lengthy silence, his father dropped the folders he was holding on the end table near the couch. “I suppose you’ve heard about Tammy…”

  He straightened automatically at the sound of her name, panic coursing through him. “No. What? Did something happen to her?”

  His father’s brows drew together for a moment as though he was trying to figure out a puzzle. “Nothing happened to her, unless you think being reunited with her family is a tragedy.”

  Gregory stared at him in shock. “Tamara spoke to her family?”

  “From what I understand, she’s planning to visit them soon.” His father walked toward the window and looked out at the view.

  A million questions raced through his brain at the news. None of which his father could answer. How was she holding up? Was she happy to reconcile with them? Were they looking out for her best interests this time around? Had they apologized for the way they had treated her six years ago?

  Instead he settled for something his father might be able to answer. “How did they find her?”

  His father turned back with a small smile that was a rarity. “Me, of course.”

  Anger swept through him swift and fierce. “You had no right to interfere—”

  “Of course I did.” His father walked toward him. “The Vanguards are some of my oldest friends. Not having contact with their daughter was killing them. They had a right to know—”

  “It should have been up to Tamara.”

  His father shrugged. “Maybe, but she might never have taken that step. Sometimes people need a shove.”

  Gregory let out a bark of humorless laughter. “Is that how you would describe your parental style? All this time you’ve just been giving me a shove?”

  His father frowned. “We weren’t talking about you.”

  “No, we were talking about Tamara and how she is none of your business.”

  “But you made her my business when you brought her to my house. When you bought the theater that she works for with the family’s money.” His father took a step closer. “You couldn’t possibly expect me to keep it a secret when her parents have been desperate to see her.”

  “Desperate to see her or to smooth over any further scandal?” His voice was filled with bitterness and anger on Tamara’s behalf, and his father had
the good grace to flinch.

  “It’s true,” he said slowly. “They didn’t handle the situation well all those years ago.”

  “You think?” His voice dripped with sarcasm. Despite his best efforts he couldn’t seem to summon the cold, detached amusement he typically used to hide his emotions around his father. Not after that conversation with Ben and definitely not now when the conversation had turned to Tamara.

  His father regarded him. His expression was blank, but his eyes were calculating.

  Gregory shifted beneath that stare. “What?”

  “You care about her.” It wasn’t a question, and Gregory couldn’t read his tone.

  “Shocking, isn’t it?” Gregory mocked.

  His father was quiet again. Folding his hands together, he walked closer. “You know, I never approved of the way the Vanguards handled that fiasco.”

  Gregory let out a disdainful snort. Fiasco. Only his father would call it that.

  His father ignored him. “I always liked Tammy. But as much as I didn’t agree with the way they handled the situation, I understood it.”

  “Of course you did,” Gregory muttered under his breath. Sweeping family secrets under the rug was a Blanchard specialty. But his father’s next words took him by surprise.

  “They may have made mistakes, but they were only trying to protect their daughter. Just like I always tried to protect you.”

  Gregory’s mouth fell open in shock, and for a moment he didn’t know if he was going to laugh or shout. Laughter won out, but it was dark and bitter. “You,” he said, “protecting me?”

  His father blinked, the only sign that he was taken aback by Gregory’s response. “Of course. I wanted to protect you from your mother’s reputation. I needed to instill in you a sense of responsibility to your family and to the people you care about.”

  “By constantly berating me and telling me how similar I am to her? By making sure I always knew that I shared her blood and that I was always going to hurt the ones I loved?”

  Now it was his father’s turn to stare with his mouth slightly open. “That’s not… That was never my intention.”

  Gregory stared as if the mere act of looking at him might help solve the riddle that was his father. Finally some of the anger seemed to ebb and he leaned against the desk, depleted of energy. “Maybe not, but that was the end result.”

  His father’s brows furrowed, and he opened his mouth to speak but shut it just as quickly.

  Whatever he had to say, Gregory didn’t want to hear it. His mind was too fixed on Tamara and her situation to fight with his father.

  Maybe it would be good for her to see her family again. They could help her heal old wounds so she could start fresh with someone worthy of her.

  “Gregory, your mother…” His father’s voice trailed off, and Gregory was grateful. They’d never really spoken of her. She’d become a ghost after she left—haunting them with actions that would never be explained and leaving only her legacy of failure in the form of her son.

  “You’re not her,” his father finally said. “You never were.”

  Gregory raked a hand through his hair. “You don’t know that, Dad. Maybe you were right all this time.”

  He didn’t know who was more surprised by that statement. But his pride was no longer standing between them. After losing Tamara, the confrontation with Ben, and now this news from his father, he felt gutted. There was no room for blustering indignation. It was about time he gave his father what he’d always wanted to hear. “I mean, look at my track record—in business and relationships. I don’t exactly have a history of hanging in there for the long haul, now do I?”

  His father didn’t answer right away. When he did, he didn’t outright answer. “Your mother hurt me when she left.”

  Gregory’s eyes widened in surprise, but he kept his mouth shut. His father rarely mentioned his mother, let alone spoke of how he’d felt when she’d walked away.

  “But, more importantly, she hurt you.” His father cleared his throat. “I didn’t want you to repeat her mistakes. You idolized her as a child, and I didn’t want…”

  When his father trailed off, looking at a loss for the first time in his life, Gregory took pity. “I get it. You didn’t want me to hurt people the way she hurt us.” His mind flashed on Tamara and the pained look in her eyes the last time he’d seen her. “And I won’t.”

  He’d stay away from her, for her sake. It was the least he could do to make up for hurting her.

  “That’s true,” his father said. He dipped his head and scratched the back of his neck in a rare show of uncertainty. “But I also wanted to keep you from getting hurt again. It’s possible that I went too far.”

  Gregory gaped at his father. Never in his life had he heard his father admit he might have been wrong about anything, let alone him.

  His father turned away. “You see, when your mother left, she didn’t just hurt me. You were devastated.”

  Gregory stared at his father’s back and tried to comprehend what he was hearing. His father was talking to him like they were equals. Peers. Hell, he was talking to him like he was his son.

  “You were so much like her.” His father’s voice was almost pained.

  Gregory bit back a sigh. “Yeah, I know. You’ve made that clear.”

  His father turned around. “No, that’s not what I meant. Not in your ability to hurt people or to run away from commitment. Like her, you cared so much. Too much.”

  Gregory stared at his father, speechless, afraid to interrupt lest his father stop talking. This was more than his father had ever spoken about his mother or their past.

  “I always knew that was why she left. She was so emotional. She wore her heart on her sleeve. What I could give her was never enough.”

  For the first time in his life, Gregory felt a pang of sympathy for his father. At this moment, the cold, callous businessman looked lost and confused.

  Welcome to the club.

  His father sighed. “I guess what I’m saying is, I know I’ve been too hard on you. And yes, I was trying to help you so you wouldn’t make your mother’s mistakes and run from commitment and difficult situations.”

  A bit of his father’s normal know-it-all tone returned, and Gregory was oddly relieved. It was disconcerting to see his father less than one hundred percent confident.

  His father straightened. “You have to admit you had a tendency to choose women who were…unworthy. You gravitated toward relationships that were easy to deal with, ones that didn’t put you outside your comfort zone. Relationships where you could walk away.”

  His father’s voice grew hoarse—this was probably the most talking he’d done all year. To his son, at least. “You deserve better than that. So did your mother. You deserve to be with someone who loves you the way that you are capable of loving.”

  Tamara. There was no question who his father was talking about. Gregory cleared his throat, partly out of discomfort at having such an emotional conversation with his father and partly for lack of anything to say. Finally, he told the truth. “I’m going to hurt her. You know it as well as I do. I couldn’t even keep a fish alive, let alone—”

  “Oh Christ,” his father groaned. “It was just a fish. You couldn’t keep it alive because you didn’t truly care about it. The fish was a compromise—what you really wanted was a puppy.”

  The hint of laughter in his father’s voice had him looking up in surprise. “You remember that?”

  “Of course I remember that. You wouldn’t stop talking about that damn puppy you’d seen at the pet store. But Elena was allergic, so we figured we’d start you off with a fish and see if you could handle it.”

  His father was back to his normal self, full of his usual swagger. “Son, if we’d gotten you the puppy, you would have loved it and I’m sure you would have taken care of it.”


  “But you always said—” He stopped, too annoyed to continue. His failure with that goddamn fish had been thrown in his face for as long as he could remember. It was one of many irritating lectures his father had given him his whole life to convince him that he didn’t have what it took to commit.

  His father took a step toward him. “This situation with Tamara has made me reevaluate how I’ve handled things with you in the past.” A flicker of uncertainty passed over his face. “I realize that I’ve been too hard on you. I’ve only ever wanted the best for you, and if I pushed too hard…I’m sorry.”

  Gregory gave a grudging nod. All was not forgiven or forgotten, but he could appreciate the older man’s attempts to make things right. Besides, this new insight into his mother’s temperament and his father’s fears was eye-opening.

  For the first time in a long time, he started to feel a flicker of hope. If Tamara could forgive him for putting his foot in his mouth—if she could give him another chance…

  His father put a hand on his shoulder. “If you truly care about Tamara, don’t let my fears or your mother’s actions be what stop you from pursuing her.”

  Gregory nodded. He didn’t trust himself to speak. Maybe his father was right. What he had with Tamara was different than anything else in his life. He might not have been able to see things through with Vanessa or the other women he’d dated, but that didn’t mean he had to repeat his mistakes with Tamara.

  Everything was different with her. He was different. He could be the man she needed…if she gave him a chance.

  Excitement and a glimmer of hope had his heart racing. She was planning to visit her parents, his father had said. Which meant she was still in town. And maybe, just maybe, there was still hope.

  He half pushed, half led his father toward the front door, making some excuse about how he had places to be. He’d tell her what an idiot he’d been and he’d tell her the truth. That he wanted her—no, he needed her in his life.

  Chapter 13

  Tamara’s bags were packed and waiting by the door, but she was not entirely sure she was ready to go. She couldn’t believe that after six years she was about to see her parents and brother again. She’d talked to them each individually on the phone, but seeing them in person was a whole other matter.