by Aubrey Irons
She slowly continues to ride me, her lips never leaving mine as we slowly come to a stop, until all that we can hear is the thundering pulse of hearts against each other’s chests.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Serena
My heart is still pounding in the dark later as we lay in his bed. My head rests in the crook of his arm, his hand on my back and his breathing come rhythmically.
Tonight was incredible. I mean, before the mind-blowing sex even, it was incredible. Dinner with the two of them, bouncing the commercial idea off of him and seeing him grin, laughing and just having one of the best dinners I’ve had in a long, long time.
And yet, there’s a part of it that rubs funny with me - a notion that lingers.
And I get it; I do. Tonight being in this house, with his daughter, and sharing a dinner with them was fantastic, but I am the stranger here. Landon’s had this thing with just him and Emily for so long, and I’m acutely aware of being the interloper here, even if Emily and I hit it off so well. My dad didn’t date much after my mom, but I do remember that feeling of someone new butting in on what we had. I remember the women who’d try and “mother me” - women who didn’t just want to date my dad, but wanted to be my mom.
Yeah, no way.
And after all, Landon and I are just, well, co-workers.
That’s it.
What happened earlier today and then again tonight should probably stop happening, but I somehow doubt either of us have the ability to make that happen. But we should. This should stop happening. In the long run, us getting together can’t be a good thing, and I think we both know that deep down.
And so even with how well Emily and I get along, I’m acutely aware of the divide between us. No woman will ever be her mother - certainly not me. And so I get the worry Landon’s probably been harboring all night. I get the worry that a girl like her might look more into this more than she should. And I’m not that.
I’m not her mom, and I won’t ever be her replacement.
I can’t be.
The glowing warmth from what we just did slowly dissipates as the cold, yet honest, thought creeps through me. I stir, pulling my head up from his chest and swallowing the lump in my throat.
“I need to go,” I whisper in the dark.
“You could honestly stay the night,” he murmurs, sitting up and meeting my eye. “There’s a guest room, and we could tell Emily-”
“No, Landon.”
He peers at me in the low glow of the moonlight coming in through the window, and I shake my head.
“I’m not her,” I say quietly.
He frowns. “Excuse me?”
“I’m not her,” I barely whisper it this time, but his face goes dark as he understands what I’m saying.
“I’m aware of that.”
“Are you?” I sit up, pulling the sheet up over me. “I’m in your house, having dinner with your daughter, spending the night in your bed?”
“Serena, I’m perfectly aware of what this is.”
“Then enlighten me, because I don’t think either of us are aware of what this is!” I spit back.
He sits up all the way, his eyes narrowing at me. “What do you want from me?”
“Nothing, Landon. I thought that was the whole point. We’re here to secure the team, and turn those voter shares into holding shares. That’s what we need from each other.” I meet his gaze, neither of us saying a thing for a minute. I shake my head as I stand, slipping from the bed.
“I shouldn’t be here.”
“Then why are you here, Serena?” he growls.
Because I wanted it to be real.
Because deep down, part of me wants this to be real, as stupid and silly as that is. Deep down, I want something like this. A man like Landon, a little girl like Emily, a life like this.
Like this, but not this life. Because this isn’t real. He and I will never be that life, and I know that. I know that Emily and I will never be more than taco-making buddies, and “this life” exists only in my head.
Because we aren’t those people. We’re broken, and damaged, and right now?
Right now we’re just fooling ourselves.
“Great question.” I look away and reach for my clothes on the ground, slowly pulling them back on.
Landon gets out of bed and steps towards me. “That’s not what I was implying, Serena,” he says, his voice softer now.
“I know, but I need to go.”
I stiffen for a second as his hands move to my arms, pulling me back against him. My eyes close, and for a second, I let myself melt back into him.
“You really can stay.”
I scrunch up my face as I pull away from him, shaking my head as I turn to meet his eyes. “No, I can’t.” I lean up and kiss his cheek before buttoning my shirt up the rest of the way.
“I’ll see you at work, okay?”
And then I’m leaving that room, walking back through that house and past those moments from earlier that don’t really belong to me, and stepping out the front door.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Landon
And we’re back.
A few days go by after the taco dinner at my place, and Serena and I are right back to being strictly professionals. Well, chilly professionals. She actually sort of avoids me after that night, even going so far as to suggest she finally get her own office, which I grudgingly grant.
She froze up that night, and it’s been like that ever since. A fucking fantastic night, where things just seemed to click with everything. A night that ended in us breaking down and crashing together again, like this inevitability that keeps happening. But after all that and after everything, something shook her. I felt it when she tensed against me in my bed. I felt it when she pulled back, when her smile faded, and when she walked away.
I thought we understood each other.
Guess I was wrong.
Part of me feels like I should have told her about what Kyle told me, but it’s not my place. And besides that, I don’t even know what the revelation could mean. No sense in throwing that at her, she’s got enough going on right now.
At least, that’s how I’ve rationalized not telling her, even now, a few days after.
For now, I’m giving her the space I guess she needs. And I get it - I get that things may have moved a little past casual when I start inviting her to dinner with my daughter. That might not have been smart, but it felt easy.
It felt natural.
It felt like something I hadn’t felt in a while when we were all in that kitchen, laughing and making guacamole, or sitting at the table cracking jokes and scarfing down tacos. And it definitely felt like something I’ve forgotten about later that night, in my bed. There’ve been a hundred faceless women since Sarah. A hundred utterly forgettable, utterly single-purpose nights. I don’t “connect.” I don’t “feel that deeper feeling” people in scripted television or movies moan about.
I fuck.
I make them come.
I leave.
And I sure as shit don’t repeat the process.
Somehow, Serena Roth is shattering my rules. She’s breaking down my walls without even trying. Hell, she’s doing it while actively running away from me.
“This is so cool!!” Emily shrieks as she bolts across the sound stage along with the three friends of hers from school who’ll be part of the commercial shoot today with her. It’s a fantastic idea Serena had - four eight-year-old girls playing tag football with the push being teamwork and empowering young girls to do whatever they want, regardless of it being a “guy thing” or not. Rocky Mountain Soap is going to eat it up, too, which is a huge win for us and for the board.
She should be here for this.
Serena begged off earlier with some flimsy excuse about looking over contract stuff back at the office, but I know it’s a bullshit excuse to try and distance herself from me.
Fuck that.
She should be here. She should be part of this thing she came up with, and my
being here shouldn’t have any bearing on that. I know we went further than we should have. I know we flew a little too close to something we shouldn’t have the other night. But I need her to understand we’re on the same page about it. I need her to understand she can just be normal around me, even with the sex.
Hell, I just need her here.
“Hey,” she answers the phone brusquely.
“You should really be here, you know.”
“Oh, yeah, I’ve got a lot of-”
“Leave it,” I say coolly. “What are you going to do, fire yourself?”
I grin as I hear her snort a small laugh over the phone. “Look, just come down. Emily and the other girls are here, the rep from Rocky Mountain is on the way down, and you really should see this idea of yours come to life. It’s a win, Serena.”
She sighs. “I don’t know.”
“I do. Stop being stubborn and get your ass down here.”
She laughs. “Yes sir.”
She says it sarcastically, but I growl at the words coming from her lips.
There’s a pause before she laughs quietly. “Don’t get used to me saying that, by the way.”
“Too late. Get over here, now.”
“Someone’s bossy today,” she says with just a hint of flirtation in her voice.
“I have my moments.”
“You certainly do.”
There’s another pause, neither of us sure what to say next, before she sighs. “Okay, okay. I’m on my way.”
A win is putting it lightly. When we cut for the last shot of the day, I know one thing about the commercial pitch: it’s a home run. The girls had a blast doing it, Don loved it, and the ad rep from Rocky Mountain had freaking stars in her eyes watching it.
We needed this win, and Serena delivered.
“Not bad.”
Serena jumps a little at the sound of my voice right behind her, turning to smile at me. “Yeah it was pretty good.”
I cross my arms over my chest. “We need to work on that, you know.”
“Work on what?”
“You taking credit for things you should take credit for. You honestly killed it with this one. Own it.”
Her lips curl at the corners. “A little free lesson in boardroom power moves?”
“Free? No, I’ll be billing you.”
She grins.
“Serena!” We both turn at the sound of Emily’s voice. She comes running over, beaming and still wearing her peewee league shoulder pads and Rocky Mountain Soap jersey as she comes crashing into Serena, flinging her arms around her.
“Hi!”
Serena flashes me a grin before leaning down and giving my daughter a squeeze. “Hey, Emily!”
“Hi Dad, so great to see you,” I say flatly, raising a brow at Emily. She gives me a look before turning back to Serena with a conspiratorial eye roll.
“Hey, you looked great up there!”
Emily beams at the compliment from Serena before turning back to me.
“Dad, can I sleep over at Jasmine’s house tonight? She said it was okay.”
“Is it okay with Jasmine’s mom?”
“Um, yeah.”
Serena tries to hide her grin as I pull the parent card. “Why don’t you check first, honey.”
Emily scampers away, and I give Serena a look as she lets the laugh out.
“Just so you know, it’s not all fun taco nights,” I mutter. “I get to play bad cop too.”
“Hey, I think you’re great with her.”
I shrug. “So are you, you know. I’ve had Don over for dinner before and she wants to eat in her room or in front of the TV.”
“Well maybe Don should learn to make better Texas-style guacamole.”
I laugh.
“Landon! Hi!”
We both turn at the sound of the woman’s voice - Erika, Jasmine’s mom, with Jasmine and Emily in tow.
I smile warmly. “Hi, Erika.”
“Hey there. So, the girls were thinking of having a movie night tonight to celebrate their rising Hollywood stars.” She wags her brows knowingly as the two girls gush about “Hollywood!” behind her. “That okay with you?”
“Absolutely.” I smile. “I’m fine with it if you are.”
Emily and Jasmine cheer before running off again to change out of their pint-sized football gear.
“Well then, I don’t think we’ve met!” Erika smiles curiously at me and then at Serena. “Landon, I hadn’t heard you were seeing any-”
“Oh, no,” Serena says quickly shaking her head and rolling her eyes. “We just work together.”
Erika’s smile seems to grow wider as she turns back to me, her eyes doing a not-so-hidden drive-by up and down over me. “Oh,” she says, biting her lip. “Well, Landon, if you wanted to come on by tonight with Emily, maybe we could watch our own movie?” She smiles predatorily at me, wagging her brows. “I’m sure you and I could find a way to amuse ourselves.”
Serena almost loses it behind her, actually clamping a hand across her mouth and turning away.
I clear my throat, forcing myself to smile cordially at Erika. “Appreciate the offer, but I’ve got work to plow through tonight.”
Erika pouts and making a clicking sound with her teeth. “Aww I think you work too hard.” She moves closer, her hand going to my arm through my shirt sleeve. Her lips curl again.
“Landon, I don’t know how you have the time to keep in such great shape!”
She turns to Serena, shaking her head. “My goodness, how do you even get any work done with this hunk walking around?”
Serena smiles. “Oh, I mostly just let him have his way with me across his desk whenever he wants.”
Erika hoots out a laugh, batting her hand at Serena’s arm as she shakes her head and wipes her eyes. “Well then, I suppose I should go find the girls.” She pouts at me. “You sure I can’t convince you take the night off?”
“Maybe another time, Erika.”
She shrugs and sighs. “Well fine then. Wonderful to meet you, Serena. Love that sense of humor.”
Erika strolls off, and Serena turns back to me, a big, needling smirk on her face.
“What.”
She chuckles. “Has she been to Tap & Vine with you?”
I roll my eyes. “No.”
“You sure about that?”
I arch a brow, peering into Serena’s face and grinning. “Why so curious?”
“Morbid curiosity.”
I snort. “No, definitely not.” I start to open my mouth to continue with that history, but I quickly shut it instead.
Serena clearly catches it though, her brow shooting up. “Oh my God, gross!”
“What!”
She cracks up, shaking her head. “Jesus, Landon. Banging Emily’s friends’ moms? Ick.”
I frown. “Okay, first of all, no, I’d never and never have touched Erika Marshalls, or any of my daughter’s friend’s moms. Jesus, what do you think I am?”
“A man whore.”
I snort. “Look, do you want to get a drink?”
She bites her lip, and I’m almost sure this is a bad idea. I’m almost sure she’s going to say no, or come up with some fairly good reason why we shouldn’t go get a drink together.
She nods. “Sure, but only if you swear to finish this story.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Serena
“So, Jasmine’s mom.”
Landon groans and takes a sip of his drink. “It’s seriously nothing.”
“I’ll leave.” I grin at him, shaking my head. “Don’t think I won’t.”
He smiles and shakes his head.
“What I was going to say is that she got drunk at a neighborhood Christmas party a few years back and tried to drag me into the garage to…you know.”
I grin at him, crossing my arms over my chest and shaking my head. “No, Landon, I don’t think I do know. But I would love to hear this story.”
He visibly grits his teeth and mutters under his breat
h as I needle him, giggling at his discomfort.
“She wanted to blow me.”
I snort.
“She kept trying to grab at my belt while I was pushing her hands away, and then she…” he stop and shakes his head. “Look, it was a while ago, and-”
“Oh my God you are not leaving me hanging on this doozy of a story.”
“She puked on me.”
I throw my head back and laugh. “Are you kidding me?”
“Nope,” he chuckles. “Right on the crotch of my pants.”
I laugh deeply again as I bring a hand up to wipe away a tear.
“It’s worse. She and her husband Terry weren’t divorced yet, and I had to help her inside, come up with some reason why his wife threw up in my damn lap, and then borrow a pair of pants from him.”
The laughter just keeps tumbling out of me, my eyes tracing over the only half-serious scowl on his face.
“Jeez, I can’t believe I’ve slept with you.” I wink before making a dramatically prudish face. “I feel so dirty now.”
“No you don’t.”
My eyes snap back to his - less jokey and much more sharp this time. But suddenly, I’m not listening to what he says. And I’m not looking at him.
I’m looking past him.
At David.
David, sitting at the bar grinning and leaning close to a girl. David with his hand on her thigh, the other one tracing over her lips as she blushes at something he says, batting a hand at him flirtatiously.
A girl who most certainly isn’t Lisa.
I can feel something tightening inside of me - a dull ache that starts somewhere in the pit of my stomach and spreads until I’m numb and cold.
“Hey,” Landon leans in, his brow furrowed. “What’s-” He turns, his eyes following my gaze and landing on David and the girl at the bar before he glances back at me.
“That’s not-” His eyes narrow. “Is that him? Your ex?”
I nod dumbly, and his eyes flash.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, fine,” I say flatly, unable to pull my eyes away.
And then David looks up.