A sorrow-laced joy spread over me as I watched Antonia dissolve into a giggle fit. “She’s beautiful,” I told Izzy.
She nodded, and her matching brown eyes grew moist. “Yes, she is.” Swallowing, she quickly swiped under her eyes and tossed on a smile. “We were just about to have hot fudge sundaes. Join us?”
Even though I was stuffed from dinner, I nodded. “Sounds great.”
Sitting down with Izzy, Antonia, and Hayden was surprisingly…easy. I felt like we all fit together, like I’d known Izzy and her daughter for years. Izzy was sweet and welcoming, Antonia was quick-witted and funny. And tired. She didn’t eat much of her dessert, but she wouldn’t leave the table until the rest of us were done.
When the last of our bowls were empty, she grabbed Hayden’s good hand. “Uncle Hayden! Read me a story!”
Hayden grimaced, but it was clear he was joking. “Really, Bookworm? Shouldn’t you know how to read by now?” He tossed a frown Izzy’s way. “I’m disappointed, Iz. I thought you’d teach her how to read before you taught her how to walk.”
Izzy chucked a napkin at his face while Antonia whined, “Please? You do the voices better than Mommy.”
Hayden smiled at me, then carefully scooted away from the table. Grabbing his crutches, he told her, “Okay, fine. But you have to listen with your eyes closed. You look like you haven’t slept in weeks, kid.” Antonia brightened, but Hayden was right; she looked exhausted.
The pair of them shuffled off to Antonia’s room, Hayden faking complaints the entire time. Izzy shook her head at him once he was out of sight. “That girl has got him wrapped around her little finger. He’s so protective of her, always has been. Probably ’cause of how he grew up.” Turning to me, she said, “He told you about being bounced around the foster care system, right?”
“Yeah…he mentioned…some of it,” I answered.
Izzy indicated the living room couch, and we went over to sit down on it. “He never seemed to be able to find a family that stuck, so he attached himself to Tony and me…and Felicia, of course. The four of us, we did everything together. Thick and thin, hell or high water, we were family. We had each other’s backs…”
Her expression turned sad. “But that was then, this is now…and things are different.” Before I could ask her if she was okay, the wistfulness suddenly shifted to an almost childlike glee. “Hayden’s gonna kill me for saying this, but he really likes you. Won’t shut up about you, which is why I feel like I already know you.” Putting her hand on mine, she added, “I can’t wait to be best friends.”
I laughed at her comment, but I had the feeling she was right; considering how warm and welcoming as she was, and how much she meant to Hayden, we were bound to be close too. I now had another sister…one who was actually talking to me at the moment.
Izzy and I chatted for a few minutes, until Hayden came back into the room. His expression somber, he told Izzy, “She went out like a light halfway through the story. She…okay?”
Izzy gave him a smile that was surprisingly reassuring; I had a feeling she’d perfected it over the years. “She’s as good as she can be for today.”
Hayden sighed as he made his way over to sit beside me; Izzy’s eyes were reflective as she watched him. When he was settled on the couch, she leaned over her knees and said, “So…Tony was here earlier. He’s really pissed at you, Hayden, but he won’t tell me why. He just keeps cursing and calling you…” Pausing, she shook her head. “I made him leave because he wouldn’t stop swearing in front of Antonia. It was upsetting her.”
Hayden looked down at the cast on his wrist. Antonia’s name was scrawled across it in big black letters. “It’s nothing, Izzy. It will blow over.”
“Bullshit, Hayden. Tell me the truth; I don’t like being lied to.” Her eyes got fiery after that. Izzy might seem frail, but she was tough.
Hayden closed his eyes and took a deep, calming breath. When he reopened them, he lifted his cast and said, “Tony is the one who did this to me.”
All the color drained from her face. “What?” she whispered.
Hayden lifted his good hand. “Not directly, but…he’s been hurting people, Izzy. Good people. And I got caught in the cross fire.” Glancing at me, he went on to tell Izzy everything that Hookup had done. He finished his story with “He’s out of control, and I can’t be a part of it anymore.”
“What do you mean, you can’t be a part of it?” Izzy asked, but from the sadness in her eyes, she knew what was coming.
Hayden worked his lip, and it took him a few seconds to answer her. When he did, I could tell he was nervous. “I told Tony…I told him I’m done street racing, told him I’m done being friends…told him I’m done with all of it. I can’t live in both worlds anymore, Izzy. I want more…”
Izzy’s forlorn gaze fell to the coffee table, and Hayden reached over me and put a hand on her arm. “Hey, that doesn’t mean I’m done with you or Antonia. I’ll still be around. And I’ll still help out, however I can, I promise. It’s just…not going to be large bags of cash anymore.”
Izzy laughed and Hayden smiled. Then he added, “I just can’t have Hookup in my life. He’s toxic, and you should…you should seriously consider whether or not you want him around either.”
Her expression changed, and she no longer appeared child-like to me. She seemed far too old for being so young. “I know my brother’s into bad stuff, Hayden. I’ve learned to stop asking, and just accept that he’s…on a different path than me. But he’s family, and I can’t just write him off like that.”
Hayden nodded. “I know. I just thought I’d throw it out there. Be careful around him, Izzy. I don’t want to see you go down with him. You or Antonia.”
Izzy nodded, then she looked between us and smiled. “I never thought I’d see the day when Hayden Hayes went straight. I thought for sure you’d follow Tony…” She paused to press her lips together, and when she opened them again, there were tears in her eyes. “I’m so proud of you, Hayden. And I’m so glad you got out.”
Hayden grabbed her hand and squeezed it tight. “I’ll get you out too, Izzy. I promise.” His eyes locked with mine and a silent question passed between us. I nodded in answer. Yes, I’ll help you. I’ll help Izzy and Antonia in any way I can.
Chapter 25
Hayden’s recovery went well, although he routinely complained that healing was a slow and tedious process, and he preferred things to be fast and exciting. The doctors had told him to stay away from racing for at least eight weeks, but he only made it five and a half before the burning itch to be back on a bike had him returning to the track. With his leg and his wrist still in casts, he couldn’t do much, but he wanted to be near his bike. I sympathized. My two Ducatis were now taking up space in my garage, next to my everyday bike, and I stared at them at least twice a day.
Even though I knew it would be difficult on me, I went with Hayden to the practice track. I told myself it was just to make sure he took it easy, but I knew that wasn’t entirely it. I wanted to see my old stomping grounds. I braced myself for the emotional pain when we stepped through the inner gate into the main area of the track, but even still, I was so stunned when I saw it, I couldn’t move.
Being at the track when every trace of my family’s business was gone was more surreal than being at Keith’s place. Everything here was the same, and yet completely different. The Cox Racing name had been removed from every single sign, and the buildings across the way from Benneti’s buildings were completely vacant. A large FOR SALE sign on the outside of the Cox garage was the only decoration; a heartbreaking reminder of what I couldn’t change. Nikki had cried the day she’d cleared all her stuff out. I’d cried after she’d told me about it. All of this felt so…final. A legacy had died, and I hadn’t been able to do anything to save it. I’d failed, in so many ways.
Tears in my eyes, I turned my back on the remnants of my past, and moved toward my future—with Hayden…on the Benneti side of the track. It was odd to be on B
enneti turf. I didn’t think I would have been able to do it at all if Hayden hadn’t been there, holding my hand and squeezing my fingers in encouragement every few seconds; he understood just how difficult this was for me. It was really hard to shake the feeling that I was surrounded by the enemy.
The garage bay doors were open, and darting into the first one, Hayden made a beeline for his bike. He was intercepted by a pair of burly riders that I recognized as the two assholes who’d threatened him into washing their bikes and bringing them beer in return for staying silent about me. Expecting the worst, I instantly tensed. Hayden did too, and his grip around my fingers became painful.
“Rodney, Maxwell…how’s it going?”
The pair scrutinized Hayden like they were scanning him for weaknesses. Since his wrist and leg were bound in fiberglass for a few more weeks, he had two glaringly obvious frail spots. They surprised me by smiling, though. “Hayes…that was one nasty-ass wreck you survived. Glad to see you’re not dead.” With that, they smacked him on the back and continued on their way.
Hayden seemed amused by the turnaround, but not shocked, like I was. “They like you now?” I asked. “Because you could have died?”
Hayden shrugged. “Guess getting smeared over the concrete moved me up a notch in their eyes. And I suppose they finally don’t believe the rumor about me messing with bikes, since I was the one who got taken out. It’s not like I would sabotage myself…” He frowned after he said it, and Hookup’s face flashed through my mind. No, Hayden hadn’t done it, but one of his closest childhood friends had. Asshole. His carelessness could have killed somebody, could have killed Hayden. I hoped he took Hayden’s warning seriously and left us the hell alone.
With a beaming smile on his face, Hayden gave me a tour of Benneti Motorsports. A pang went through me at just how similar it was to Cox Racing. The décor was a little different, the colors were different, but if I squinted just right, it felt like I was back at Cox. It made a vicious stab of homesickness go through me, and I had to blink my eyes several times to stop the tears.
Hayden noticed. Stopping, he turned to face me. “Is this too much? Do you want to go?” His eyes flickered in the sunlight streaming through the wide windows, the green changing from radiant to translucent as clouds covered the shifting rays.
I tried to smile, but it felt forced to me. “No, I’m fine. It’s just…so strange, and a little sad. I can’t help feeling like I shouldn’t be here…like I’m somewhere I don’t belong.”
Hayden cupped my cheek and locked gazes with me. “I know exactly how you feel. When I first stepped into this world, I felt like…like I was trying on shoes that were way too tight. Everything pinched, and every part of me felt uncomfortable. Do you know what changed that for me?” he asked, smiling.
“No…what?” A genuine grin lightened my heart as I thought about what his answer might be.
Stroking his thumb over my cheek, he murmured, “You. I ran into you, and all of a sudden, I was distracted, annoyed…and driven. And I forgot all about how foreign it felt here…how lonely.” I laughed at the memory of how we used to be, and Hayden’s expression turned fond. “I know things didn’t turn out how you wanted them to, but if you’ll let me, I’ll help you. I’ll distract you, annoy you, push you…Whatever you need from me, I’ll be here for you.”
He leaned in to touch his soft lips to mine. As we shared a tender kiss, someone a few feet away let out a loud groan. “Oh God…is this what I’m gonna have to put up with all the time being your mechanic, Hayes? Because this was not covered in the training seminar.”
I broke away from Hayden. “Nikki? What the hell are you doing here?”
Nikki laughed, then rushed over and flung her arms around me. After a quick hug, she pulled back and said, “I took a job with Keith. Don’t be mad, I just couldn’t leave here…” Her dark eyes shifted to the windows, where they overlooked the track that held countless memories for both of us.
The tears threatening to escape again, I brought her back to me for another hug. “I’m not mad. I’m glad you’re here. I’m so incredibly glad you’re here.” Over her shoulder, I saw Hayden watching the two of us with joyful eyes. Once again, he didn’t seem surprised; he must have known she’d taken a job here. I wanted to smack him for not telling me, but I was too happy that I had two friends here. The Bennetis seemed a lot less evil now.
That was, until the supreme commander of Benneti Motorsports showed his face. “Hey! Cox’s kid!” We all three looked over to see Keith thundering our way. There was a limp to his walk and a crutch under his arm that made him look eerily similar to Hayden. With the addition of a pot belly and muttonchops, of course.
When he got close enough, Keith pointed a meaty finger at me. “You need to call your father and order him to sell his side of the track to me. My real estate agent said he won’t accept any offer I make him. Any! This is absolutely ridiculous. He disbanded his team, blacklisted his daughter…what the hell does he care if I own the track?” I opened my mouth to say something, but Keith didn’t let me speak. “He’s holding on to the only thing I want, out of spite. I really shouldn’t be surprised by that. Asshole.”
I felt like Keith was subtly referencing my mother with that jab, and a flash of white-hot anger rushed up my spine. It cooled when the words “blacklisted his daughter” floated through my brain. Had Dad done it? Had he called around and made me unhirable? Feeling icy defeat settle around me, I told Keith, “I’m sorry, I can’t help you. My father isn’t talking to me right now, but I’m sure he can’t hold on to the property forever. He’s lost too much…” The business, his daughter…
Shoving down the pain, I told Keith something I had thought I never would. “I’m sure he’ll need the money soon, and then he won’t have a choice but to sell it to you.”
A slow smile spread over Keith’s lips, chilling me even more. Nodding in approval, he slapped a hand on my shoulder. “I knew there was a reason I didn’t mind having you around.”
He shuffled off and I fervently wiped at my shoulder. God, I needed a shower.
When I got home that evening, I tried calling my father. Like every time I called him, it went straight to voice mail, and as usual, I hung up before leaving a message. How long was he going to avoid talking to me? I debated driving over to his place and confronting him, but Hayden had come home with me, and I didn’t want to leave him. And…I wasn’t ready to face my father yet. Feeling his disapproval and disappointment in the silence between us was one thing, seeing it on his face was another.
Putting my phone away, I debated what I should do. Keith’s words were stewing in my brain, slowly poisoning me. I really wasn’t sure if I wanted to race for anyone besides Cox Racing…but if I tried, would I even be able to get on another team? Or had Dad really stolen that from me? Only one way to find out, I guess.
After getting Hayden settled on the couch, and laughing when he frowned at my babying him, I started making a list of teams that I could race for. I started with the ones based closest to me, then worked my way out a couple of states; that was as far away as I wanted to be from Hayden.
“What are you doing?” Hayden asked, curious.
Setting down my pen and paper, I gave him a long look before answering. “I know I said I was fine not racing, and I am…but you were right when you said it was my dream, and I need to at least try to find another team to race for.” Surprise hit me after I admitted that to him. I had initially just been curious whether Dad had followed through with his ultimatum, but after my confession, I realized it was more than that. If there was a way I could race and still be with Hayden, it would be the ultimate dream come true. And throwing in the towel without even asking around would be a stupid waste.
“Good,” he said, giving me one of his hundred-watt smiles. “The last thing I want is for you to resent me because you gave up racing to be with me. You belong on the track, Kenzie. It’s in your blood.”
Smiling, I made myself comfortable on his
lap. He was right, racing was in my blood. And I felt homeless and unsettled without it. I’d thought the feeling was just because Cox Racing was gone, but I was realizing it went deeper than that. Now I just needed someone who would give me a chance.
* * *
Two and a half months after the accident, you wouldn’t know from looking at Hayden that anything had happened to him. He was healed, he was perfect, he was mine. And currently, he was naked.
We were rolling around the queen-sized bed in his apartment. Turning me onto my back, Hayden pinned my arms above my head and grinned at me with a devilish smile. “Gotcha,” he whispered.
Biting my lip, I squirmed beneath him. “So what are you going to do with me?”
Those absorbing jade eyes I loved so much studied my face, and the playful curve of his lips turned adoring. “Never let you go,” he answered.
His mouth lowered to mine, and the soft kiss he placed upon me stole my breath. Yes, I could definitely spend eternity wrapped in his arms. “It might be hard for you to race like this,” I whispered.
His lips moved over to my neck, then traveled up to my ear. Every spot he touched sizzled with need. Do that again. He gently sucked my earlobe into his mouth, then breathed, “I’ll get used to it.”
Groaning, I tried to wrap my arms around him, but he held me tight. I snapped my gaze to his, and his engaging half smile returned. Before I could complain, he released my arms, then he twisted me to my side and kissed down my shoulder. I arched against him as he nestled against my back.
While he placed tender kisses down my side, he struck up a quiet conversation. “Have you heard back from PT Racing yet?”
With a defeated sigh, I told him, “Yeah…and they said almost the exact same thing as everyone else. We hate to have to tell you this, since you’re a very talented rider, but we just don’t have any openings on our team at the moment.”
Furious Rush Page 39