*
I came awake in the dark with a jolt, and my hands reached out wildly, scrabbling at my face to pull the cloth away from my mouth. It took me a few moments to realise I had been dreaming. A rustle of movement in the dark made me sit bolt upright, my heart hammering madly in my chest.
“Faith? It’s Cas. You’re okay, you just had a nightmare. You’re in the hotel with us, and you’re safe. Go back to sleep.” He sat on the bed next to me, and I felt the mattress creak under his weight.
“Cas?”
I felt a featherlight touch on my hair, stroking gently. “It’s just me, Peaches. Lie down and sleep. You need rest.”
He stood up, and I reached out to him. “Don’t leave me.” I sounded like a little girl who was scared of the dark, but I couldn’t bear to be alone again. He sighed, and I heard the sound of his belt being unbuckled. Moments later, the buckle clunked on the floor, and his weight descended on the bed next to me. He moved close, and for a moment I thought he was going to take me into his arms, but he didn’t. I was glad, I didn’t think I could handle any sense of containment or restraint, as caring as the gesture might have been.
Instead, he reached out and brushed my hair away from my face. “Sleep, Faith. I’m here, and I’m not leaving.” I closed my eyes and fell back down into the blackness that awaited my exhausted mind. As I drifted off, I thought I heard him murmur, “I am never leaving you again.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
FAITH
I was in the cathedral again. I recognised it with a dull sort of acceptance. I sat with my back against one of the huge columns, my knees pulled up to my chest. It was full daylight, so no setting sun this time, just a cold winter light that filtered through the high windows. Even the colours of the stained glass seemed muted. The chill seeped through my body, and I shivered but made no move to get up off of the stone. I just sat and stared into space, waiting to wake up. The silence was almost deafening, so I jumped when a small noise sounded behind me. Then another. And another. Until it was constant. The drip, drip, drip of water soon became faster, and I watched the tiny rivulets trickle down the columns and the walls, pooling on the dusty floor. Another rivulet ran down the column above me and fell onto my hair. I screamed and jumped up, expecting to see Bird Boy as I turned, but he wasn’t there. Just running water. I backed away as the silvery pools grew wider, and I could feel myself shaking violently.
Suddenly, I collided with something hard, and I turned to see Cas standing behind me. He opened his arms, and I stepped into them, burying my face into his chest as the water rose around us.
He stroked my hair, and I pulled back and looked at him. “Cas! Cas, we have to get out of here!”
He stared down at me with a blank expression, almost zombie-like. I felt a sick sense of fear creep over me, and I tried to pull away, but his arms tightened around me like bands of metal. I raised my hands and pushed against his chest.
“Cas! Let me go, we have to get out!”
The water was around our ankles now, but he still wouldn’t release me. I struggled, and he stumbled slightly. The two of us went down, crashing into the water. I gasped and spluttered as my mouth and nose filled, and panic charged through me like electricity. I fought to get up, then I felt his hands clamp down on my shoulders, holding me to the ground. He murmured something, but my ears were underwater, so it was muffled. I pushed up against him and felt his hardness pressed between my legs.
“Cas, please!” I begged him, and he laughed. He sat back, holding my throat with one hand while he reached into his jacket and took out a knife. Leaning down, he brushed his lips against mine, and then I felt the sharp shock of pain as the knife sank into me, again and again, three times, deep into my belly. I gasped with the agony, and water flooded into my mouth. The level had risen further, and he held me down, watching as I struggled and fought under him. When it covered my eyes, my vision went red, and I realised the water was stained with my blood. I could feel the knife slashing at my legs, and the man on top of me changed from Cas to one of my assailants then back to Cas again.
I stared at him, feeling the pain in my chest as my lungs begged for air. Sliding my hand down my body, I felt the cuff of his jacket, the skin of his hand, and then the cold steel of the knife. I wrapped my hand around the blade and dragged it from his grip, ignoring the agony, and it sliced through my fingers, down to the bone. He released my throat and sat back, observing me. I used my elbows to push myself off the floor and drove the knife deep into his chest before pausing to take a breath. He began to laugh, and I lost it.
Screaming at him, I drove the blade into him over and over. I felt his hot blood splatter across my face, saw it soak my hands and my clothes, but I couldn’t stop. His face was dripping with it, and the surrounding water was crimson, but I couldn’t stop until I needed to breathe again. He reached out and grabbed my shoulders and stared into my eyes. I froze as the cold silver orbs gazed deep into me, his mouth twisting into some kind of depraved grin. Black wings enveloped us, the soft brush of feathers hardening to silver steel blades, and I screamed as a thousand knives began to slice through my skin...
“Faith! Faith!”
I snapped awake as I was shaken roughly, and I scrambled back against the headboard. “Don’t touch me!” I wheezed, my heart hammering in my chest. I pushed my matted hair back from my face and felt the wetness on them. Looking down at my hands, I could still see the blood covering them. There was blood everywhere. I could feel the sodden wetness of my clothes and the bedsheets, and feel the stickiness as it dried on my face and in my hair. Cas was sitting on the edge of the bed, and his face was dark as blood streamed from his eyes and nose. I could see the knife buried deep inside his chest where I’d stabbed him, and as I raised my eyes back to his face, his eyes glittered silver in the faint light that flowed in through the window from the streetlight outside. I closed my eyes and screamed.
Cas grabbed my arms and pulled me against his chest, just like in my dream, and I could hear him murmuring softly to me. “Faith, you’re fine. You’re safe. We’re in a hotel. The guys are next door, everyone is safe.”
“No, no, let go of me!” I shrieked at him, hammering at his chest with my fists. He wrapped his arms around me, holding me tight so I couldn’t get away, and we fell over, tumbling onto the mattress. He held me close, hooking his leg over mine so I couldn’t kick him, and rolled on top of me to pin me down. The sound of his voice paused, and I felt his lips against my hair, my temple, my eyelids. He kissed me gently, over and over, and I realised his lips were soft and warm and dry against my skin. I opened my eyes and looked at him. There was no blood, only his tanned skin, shadowy in the darkened room. He was murmuring softly into my ear.
“What?” I whispered in disbelief. He didn’t stop brushing his mouth along my jawline.
“I said, you don’t need to worry. You’re safe with me, you always have been. My beautiful peaches. Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you let me in, let me help? Things could have been so different. I would have shown you what I did, broken the rules for you. Always, my darling.” I took a shaky breath. He pulled away gently, looking deep into my eyes and brushing my hair out of my face. No blood. I shifted under him and he moved back, letting me sit up.
“I... I’m sorry, I was dreaming again. I’m fine now. You don’t need to stay.” My hands twisted in the sheets, which were simply white now as the last vestiges of my nightmare passed. He sat up but moved so he was in front of me.
“Don’t apologise. And don’t send me away.”
I looked up at him. “I don’t need your help. I’m fine.” There was no hate or anger in my voice, I simply didn’t have the energy.
“Don’t shut me out, Faith. You always shut me out. Even when we were dating, I couldn’t get into that heart of yours.”
I stared at him in disbelief. “It’s a bloody good job I did, otherwise you really would have fucked me up with what you pulled. What, you think this whole supernatural, peri
lous danger situation means I’m going to let you try again?”
“Look, I was going to wait until... well, until you felt better, and maybe when it wasn’t the middle of the night, but will you let me tell you what happened? Please, Faith.”
I didn’t want him to. I felt exhausted and drained, and I needed time to process what had transpired the day before. Pain shot down my leg as the sheets moved over my skin, and I desperately tried to ignore the fact I probably had third-degree burns. But I didn’t have the energy to argue, so I simply nodded and reclined back on the pillow. At the very least, it would stop me from falling asleep and back into my own personal horror film.
He took a deep breath and shifted so he was lying next to me. “Okay, so... six years ago, I was working undercover for Hargreaves in this gang that was forming in the city. They’re an offshoot of a larger machination that spans several countries that deals mainly with sex trafficking.”
I frowned. “Why did you have something to do with sex trafficking? Surely that’s more for human police to deal with.”
He shrugged. “Not when the people running it are incubi.” At my blank expression, he continued, “An incubus is a type of demon that needs lust or sexual energy to live. There are quite a few earthside, since they can live very comfortably here. Some live off one-night stands, others can have long-term relationships, even marriages if they find a human partner with a voracious sexual appetite.”
I blushed, suddenly becoming uncomfortably aware that I was wearing panties and a camisole, and he was topless and rather close to me. Either he didn’t notice, or he ignored me.
“Anyway, this particular gang does not merely indulge in consensual fun. They traffic humans in order to satisfy the darker desires of their demonic clientele, running illegal brothels and living off the endless lust emitted by their clients. When Hargreaves became aware that this group had spread up here, he tasked me with infiltrating the gang to discover and... neutralize the ringleaders.”
I nodded, sickened. “So that was what you were doing in all those clubs and bars we went to. The products you were talking about? Human beings?”
He sighed. “Yes, and it sounds cold, and I hated it, but I couldn’t do anything. I needed to earn their trust enough to get to the leaders, or I’d get found out and wouldn’t be able to help anyone. Plus, we hoped that if I could get in with the ringleaders, I’d be able to discover the identities of those higher up the food chain, running the international scheme, and we could do some real damage.”
I swallowed. “I get it. So what was I? Another product you preferred to keep to yourself?”
His eyes shot up to mine. “No,” he whispered. “Never. You were…” He stopped and took another deep breath. “It sounds awful, and I’m not going to come off looking good, but... you were a cover.”
“I was a fucking cover? That’s all?” I felt like I’d been slapped. I mean, I knew from what had happened after that I didn’t mean that much to him, but knowing he’d never been interested in me at all just drove the knife deeper.
“I had spent nearly a year trying to get in with those guys, and there was no way on earth I was going to do it by becoming a client. I required a reason why I wasn’t trying to partake of their ‘offerings,’ so I needed a girlfriend, someone I could tell them was already filling my every desire. When I saw you... well, it wasn’t hard to pretend that I was obsessed with you, because I was.” I snorted at this, and he reached over and took my hand. “Faith, I know you were young back then, I know you hadn’t had much experience with men and relationships, and I know your self-esteem wasn’t the highest, but believe me when I tell you that I fell head over heels for you.”
I pulled my hand away. “Even if I believed you, that makes what you did that night even more of a betrayal. “
“Faith, the night everything went wrong, you weren’t supposed to be there. I had deliberately made sure you were not around that night so I could keep you out of it.”
I nodded. “I know. I was convinced you were cheating on me with that woman. That’s why I came over.”
Cas frowned. “What woman?”
I twisted the sheets in front of me, not wanting to look at him. “The posh-looking blonde with the short hair and the legs that went up to heaven. The one we ran into at that bar one time, and you were both trying to pretend you barely knew each other,” I muttered.
“Rosemary? She was my handler. My go-between with the Concordia.” He laughed. “You thought I was having an affair with her? Hell’s gates, Faith, would you really have put me together with someone like her? Twinsets and pearls?”
I smacked him on the arm, and I wasn’t gentle. “Like you said, I was young and naïve, and my self-esteem was pretty low. Of course, it plummeted after that night. I get you were on a case, Cas, and I get that you were undercover. But that doesn’t explain or excuse why you did what you did to me. I didn’t even understand what I heard. I thought you were drug dealers. And even if I had, why couldn’t you have just told me everything like you did this time? You’d already broken the rules by fucking me.”
He ran his hand over his face and sighed. “No, it doesn’t excuse what happened to you.”
I shot him a cold smile. “So you finally admit it then?” He took my hand and held it fast, even when I tried to pull away.
“Yes, I admit I saw you in the shadows when I was talking to those incubi, but no, I didn’t follow you when you ran out of there. I had just tried to get a young teenage girl out of one of their houses and I’d been caught. They thought I was an agent, and I was trying to persuade them it had been for my own sexual needs.” He shuddered, then stopped and suddenly looked at me, his eyes bright. “You’re right, fucking hell, you were right. It was my fault you were attacked. Fuck! I saw you in the shadows, and I was trying to get them to think I liked young girls. I gestured towards you and said you were only pretending to be eighteen, that you were really fifteen, but I’d scored you a fake ID. I said that you... you followed me around everywhere like a puppy. My own little pet.”
I sat up and slapped him across the face.
“You fucking bastard.” He didn’t respond, he just stared at me, so I hit him again. And again. He caught my hand the fourth time and held it, not tightly, but firmly enough to stop me from snatching it back.
“I am so sorry, Faith. The incubi seemed to take my word for it. They insisted on coming inside for a couple of drinks. One of them stepped out to make a phone call, but they were at my apartment for hours. As soon as they left, I went inside and called Rosemary to tell her what had happened and to say I would need to get out soon, then I came over to yours.”
I stared at him, feeling like I might be sick. I wanted to hear it from his own lips. But I didn’t. I didn’t want to hear exactly how he’d betrayed me. I pulled my hand back and rolled over, pulling the covers around me. I suddenly felt very naked and vulnerable, and I really didn’t want to look at him. I felt him sit up, but he didn’t move any nearer.
“When I got there, they were waiting for me. Not the incubi I’d been talking to, but the ones who worked for them. The ones they send out to find girls. I felt sick with fear, but so damn thankful I’d got there quickly. They laughed at me, Faith. They laughed at me and told me I shouldn’t have done what I did. Then they showed me the pictures on their phones. Pictures of you, what they did... some of what they did. I had no idea if you were even still alive. I pushed past them and ran up the stairs. When I opened your door and saw you—” His words choked off, and I turned as he moved to sit on the edge of the bed, facing away from me, his head in his hands. I felt like I’d been hit with pain from White Eyes again, except this time the pain was emotional. It still flowed through my body, burning me with its power.
He hadn’t betrayed me. It wasn’t him.
I sat there for a few moments, trying to absorb it. To be honest, I felt lost. When I was around Cas, the hate I’d had for him was what drove me. Now it had... not gone, exactly, since he’d
still put me in that situation, but it had faded dramatically, and I wasn’t really sure what to do or how to act. I rolled back over and placed my hand on his back.
“Cas? Cas. Look at me.” Slowly, he raised his head and turned to look, and the sight of the tears streaming down his face hit me like a punch to the stomach. “If you didn’t give the order, why did you leave me there alone? Why did you take so long to come and see me in the hospital? You could have explained it all to me.”
He barked out a laugh, dashing away the tears with the back of his hand. “I called an ambulance and waited outside until they arrived. Once I saw them loading you into the back, I went after them.” He looked straight at me, and I shivered when I saw the pure hatred in his eyes.
“What did you do?” I whispered.
He averted his gaze. “I found them,” he said simply. I quivered at the venom in his voice. He looked back at me and laid one of his hands on mine. “It got all mixed up after that. When I went home a couple of days later, I found the police waiting for me. I was arrested and detained for a couple of days while they investigated me. Took some pretty quick work on Hargreaves’ part to deal with that mess, and the whole time I sat in the cell, my mind just kept running through why you’d go to the police and why you would tell them it was me who attacked you. I became convinced you’d heard everything, and it broke my heart that you’d immediately believed something that bad about me, even though you’d told me you loved me. You never even gave me the chance to try to explain.”
The blood drained from my face and I pulled back. “They told me you’d sent them. I’d seen them before, drinking with you at the club. I—”
“You believed them,” he stated quietly, giving me a sad smile. It felt like a knife to the heart.
Nephilim the Awakening (Wrath of the Fallen Book 1) Page 24