by Salem Cross
Worried, I crouched down in front of her. “Mae, what is it? Tell me.” The pain and despair on her face were unbearable.
“Did I kill them? Did I kill Arthur and Jasmine?”
Chapter Nine
Mae
Two weeks ago, if someone had told me I would turn down breakfast despite being fully able to keep it down, I would have laughed at them. But the next morning there I was, skipping out on breakfast to meditate on the back porch. Waking up thinking I had killed two people seemed to squash any hunger I would have normally felt.
I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to focus on my breathing. I attempted to picture that dark room I had created for myself. I didn’t want to feel or think about anything. If I allowed myself a moment to do either, I’d drown in fear and heartbreak. The first time I had almost killed someone was within the first week of finding out I had power. The poor guy had just tapped me on my shoulder one night at a gas station to tell me a headlight was out before I caused the gas pump to explode. I had to wait a week to see in the newspaper that the man survived.
The guilt had been immeasurable.
At least this time, I had been able to wrap my arms around Jasmine’s waist and apologize profusely. Her soft laughter at my tears did not quell my guilt. Then, against Rylan’s advice, I stayed up all night waiting for Arthur to return. When he got back just before dawn, I had thrown myself into his arms and bawled all over again.
Rylan had not been able to talk me into going to sleep after that. I knew I would see both Guardians thrashing about in agony in my dreams. There was no need to replay the moment in my nightmares when I saw it so clearly while I was awake. Instead, I silently made sure all my belongings that Rylan had brought in from the car were neatly folded and reorganized in my suitcase. This time I was ready to leave.
I expected Rylan’s wrath. If I had just gone with him yesterday, we wouldn’t have been attacked by werewolves, and I wouldn’t have attacked my friends. But instead of yelling, Rylan had remained silent. His emotions that echoed through me were so jumbled that I couldn’t pin down exactly what he was feeling.
What was wrong with me? I had been so sure that staying here was the best course of action. It didn’t help that the thought of leaving Arthur or Jasmine behind in a dangerous situation had felt so wrong. Turns out, I was the danger all along.
I groaned out loud and covered my face with my hands. Exhaustion was weighing heavy on me. If I stopped concentrating on meditation, I was sure I was going to pass out here on the deck. Behind me, I heard the patio door slide open. Without looking, I knew it was Rylan.
A new wave of guilt crashed over me. Yesterday, I had somehow maintained a semblance of consciousness while my body acted of its own accord. I could remember attacking Jasmine and Arthur. I remembered the moment when my body turned to face Rylan. I hadn’t known what was going to happen, but I knew I had to stop myself. I had fought with every molecule in my body until finally, I was able to regain control before blacking out. What if I had killed him? The thought was so awful I visibly shook with pain.
Rylan came to stand in front of me and then crouched down so we were eye level. I couldn’t stare into those handsome teal eyes, so I averted my gaze. I wanted to go home, wherever that was, and just curl up in a dark room and pretend I hadn’t hurt the people I loved.
Look at me, he commanded.
The strangeness of his voice floating through my head had been overshadowed by the shame I felt. But that didn’t make it any less weird. This way of communication was fiercely intimate. His words seemed to wrap themselves around my heart. Reluctantly, I did as he asked and met his steady gaze.
Come, I have made you something to eat, he said softly.
The thought of eating made my stomach clench tightly, but I didn’t want to fight with him. I took the hand he offered me, and I rose to my feet. I followed him inside and into the kitchen. At the counter was a plate with a breakfast sandwich placed neatly in the middle of it. He had even thought to pour me a glass of orange juice. The thoughtfulness of such a light breakfast only added to how horrible I felt. I didn’t deserve this.
Thank you.
My attempt to contact Rylan with my mind was shaky. I wasn’t sure if I was really reaching out to him or if I was just talking to myself.
You never have to thank me for taking care of you.
I sat down, and to my surprise, my stomach growled. Rylan came over and sat down next to me. I wondered if he knew how regal he looked as he took his seat. Our eyes met, and I felt the beginnings of desire pool between my legs. Inwardly, I groaned. How could I possibly be thinking of sex right now?
Pushing the unwanted feeling away, I picked up my breakfast sandwich and ate it. When was the last time I had eaten? After I had woken in a panic the previous afternoon, having lunch and then dinner sounded like the furthest thing I wanted to do. Yesterday morning, I had been so adamant about not leaving that I had skipped breakfast. Had it been over twenty-four hours? Good grief, no wonder my stomach was enjoying every bite. When I finished, I pushed the plate away from me with a sigh.
Rylan reached out to touch a curl that had worked its way loose from my bun and twirled it around his finger.
Yesterday, you defied me, his voice was a whisper in my mind. Over and over you continued to defy me. Long ago when wars were raged, I used to command armies. If a soldier ever defied me, they were disciplined in front of the others. Were you disciplined growing up? The oh, so calm tone made me shiver. I turned to look at him. His attention was fixed on the lock of hair he was playing with.
I thought you didn’t get involved with human wars?
Who said anything about humans? Rylan stopped playing with my curl to look me in the eyes. Were you ever disciplined?
I was grounded a few times, I said thoughtfully.
Rylan’s chuckle did not hold any amusement. What were you grounded for?
Sneaking out of the house. I could still see my parents waiting for me as I snuck back into my bedroom through the window. Oh, I had been in so much trouble.
And where would you go when you escaped? Rylan asked, mildly interested. This time it was my turn to chuckle.
Trust me you don’t want to know, I said, feeling a little relieved he couldn’t read every thought running through my mind. If you knew, you’d probably be more upset than you are now.
Upset? He repeated thoughtfully. His tone confused me.
Before I could respond Rylan reached up and pulled my hair out of the bun. My mass of curls toppled past my shoulders and down my back. Rylan slowly snaked his hand through my hair. His fingers massaged my scalp, and I closed my eyes, enjoying the feeling. That little burn between my legs began to grow steadily warmer.
Suddenly he fisted my hair close to the roots and yanked my head back.
I cried out in surprise. I trusted Rylan not to hurt me but this had taken me off guard. I stared up into Rylan’s face and found his eyes had sunken in and were now blazing red. His rage through our bond was intensified through his glare. I had to admit to myself that he had his scary moments. Rylan stood while his hand gripped my hair tight enough that I couldn’t move.
“What the hell, Rylan?” I yelped, reaching up with my hands in an attempt to pull my hair free.
“Upset is not the word I would use to describe how I feel, Mae,” Rylan snapped. “Or how I felt yesterday when you defied every single command I gave.” He leaned close. His fangs lengthened and peeked through his lips. “When I say you are not safe, you will heed my every word until you are. If I tell you we are leaving, we are leaving. If I tell you to run, you run. When I tell you to stay in the damn house, you stay in this house! Not at any time did I tell you to attack the werewolf yesterday. When you defy me, you put us both at risk. When I am too concerned about you, I cannot properly eliminate a threat. You will listen to me when it comes to your safety, Mae. Do I make myself clear?”
I did not answer right away. I struggled in his grip, which only tightened th
e more I tried to fight it. He tugged on my hair just enough to force me to stand. Then, he pulled it again, forcing me to turn my whole body to face him. While I certainly couldn’t get out of his grip he was being careful not to actually hurt me. I was outraged that he was touching me in this manner but shock and my already fragile emotional state made it hard to maintain it. It was also overshadowed by Rylan’s anger. His rage was burning a hole through my chest. It was suffocating and frightening. He was truly upset about me not listening to him. I frowned. How could he think that I was defying him? I wasn’t purposely disobeying his orders just to defy him. I could make my own decisions about my safety.
“I asked you a question: Did I make myself clear on what I expect?”
He tugged at my hair, forcing my head backward. Again, it wasn’t painful, but certainly demanding. Rylan leaned forward, his fangs lengthening all the way. Just the sight of them suddenly distracted my outrage and shock, concern and confusion. Desire blossomed and suddenly a rush of blood rose to my cheeks, warming them. How could I feel this way so suddenly? Confusion swamped me. My emotions were all over the place. Why couldn’t I settle with one and stick to it? I shuddered both from arousal and apprehension.
Slowly, Rylan bent down, keeping my gaze until he tilted his head forward to kiss my exposed throat. The heat between my legs flared hotter, and my breathing turned to soft gasps of desire. He pressed his lips just under my jaw and slowly trailed kisses downwards.
When he got to the base of my throat he paused. “Answer me, Mae.”
His voice was just a growl, more animalistic than man.
God, I wanted those fangs buried in me just as much as I ached to feel his erection between my legs. I bit my bottom lip to keep from moaning.
Bite me, I begged him. The junction between my legs grew damp, and my nipples tightened, straining against the fabric of my shirt.
Answer me, he snarled. A low rumble in his chest caused my heart to flutter wildly. The tip of Rylan’s tongue left a cool trail of saliva that made me shiver as he teased me.
I’ll listen to you next time, I promised.
Good girl. The satisfied growl made me shudder. If you disobey me, you will learn there are much harsher punishments besides being grounded.
His fangs sank into my skin without warning and I cried out in shock. My arousal vanished as I quickly realized that this was far from the pleasurable bite that I was used to feeling. While this wasn’t a painful bite, it was a reminder that Rylan was a predator. He was an alpha male in a world full of terrifying monsters that he oversaw. He was used to dominating others and right now, he was showing me he was in charge. I threw my hands up against his chest. I wasn’t sure if it was to brace myself as my legs wobbled or to push him away. Before my hands made contact, Rylan pulled his fangs from my neck, sealed the wound, and stepped back.
“What the hell, Rylan?” I demanded, my voice breathless.
“Feeling off balance?” he asked coolly. “I am giving you a taste of what it feels like to me when you defy me. If you do not like it, listen to me in future.” With that he turned and walked off before I could say anything else. I stared after him, stunned and overwhelmed.
I wrapped my arms around myself and fought back tears that threatened to fall. My emotions were all over the place. Fear and shame over almost killing my friends returned. They mixed with the feeling of being loved, frightened, and aroused.
Despite my best efforts to keep them at bay tears fell anyway. I hated all these wild feelings. I hated that I had no control over anything. Of course, I hadn’t wanted to leave yesterday. Jasmine and Arthur would have been in danger from themselves. And I had stayed put when Rylan told me to run to see if I could help. I had tried to use my power to stop the werewolf he had been fighting, not to attack the one nearest me. I hadn’t even noticed the second werewolf until I caught the movement out of the corner of my eye. I wasn’t trying to piss him off; I just had other plans that conflicted with his.
“Mae,” Jasmine’s voice drifted through the wild haze of emotions. Add embarrassment to my ever-growing list of emotions I was feeling. I wiped the tears from my cheeks as I turned to face the Guardian. “How about we go for a walk to get some fresh air?” she suggested as she studied my face.
I shook my head slowly. “What if I attack you again, Jazz? I shouldn’t—”
Jasmine gave me a knowing smile. “I have a feeling it will not happen again.” Her brown eyes twinkled.
“I should tell Rylan that we’re heading out.” The moment I said it out loud, I bristled at the idea of asking for permission. I must not have hidden my expression very well because Jasmine’s smile widened.
“Do not bother. We will stick close to the house,” Jasmine said as she waved her hand dismissively. “He is still upset about yesterday and is being a bit… bullheaded.”
I rolled my eyes at her understatement.
“Fine, let’s go.”
I followed Jasmine to the front door and slid on my shoes, and we walked out into the cool sunny day. We were silent as we strolled around the perimeter of the house. Jazz had been right; fresh air was exactly what I needed. I enjoyed the warmth from the sunlight that beat down on us. I slowly began to relax as the crisp air cleared my mind. As my mood improved, I began to think about things in a better light. Both Jasmine and Arthur were alright, and neither appeared upset with me. That eased my guilt and fear.
Finding that Rylan had gone out of his way to make sure I ate despite being mad at me made me smile. He really did love me. But what he had done afterwards… It was completely unacceptable. While my body had felt conflicted, now that my head was clear, my mind revolted against being bullied and utterly under his control while he dominated me. Up until that point, I had been convinced that Rylan would never hurt me. Now, I felt violated by the man I had trusted wholeheartedly. He had bullied me into submitting to him.
I could understand why he was angry. I knew he was making a point, but he could have done it another way. There was no way I was allowing him to do that again. Next time we had a moment alone, I was going to put things straight. There was no dominant one between the two of us. He had said it himself back in the house in Georgia: mates were equals. I would certainly remind him of that later.
After some time had passed, I found my attention being drawn to the lovely Guardian who walked silently beside me. At first, I thought she seemed utterly at ease and lost in her thoughts. Her graceful steps were unhurried. Her breathing appeared steady and controlled. But the more I stared at her, the more I noticed the way her eyes swept the area around us. Jasmine wasn’t as deep in thought as I had first thought. She was very much aware of what was going on around us. Finally, I got tired of the silence.
“What are you looking for? Werewolves?”
Something caught Jasmine’s attention, and she turned her head in the direction of the house. Her scoff made me frown. She looked down at me.
“Your mate just checked to make sure I had not kidnapped you.”
“Go ahead.” I told her with a roll of my eyes. “Both he and Arthur have already done it twice. You can kidnap me too, just to make it even.”
Jasmine’s laugh echoed in the woods around us.
“You do not need to tempt me, Mae. I am on the cusp of doing so as it is,” she teased as she turned her body towards the woods. “And to answer your first question, I was searching for signs of dark magic.”
Dark magic? I looked around us curiously.
“Wouldn’t you have already known it was around the house if it was here?”
“Normally, yes, but something has come to light recently that makes me believe that may no longer be the case.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked, wondering what I was missing. Jasmine bit her lip thoughtfully.
“It will be easier to show you,” she said, her words deliberately slow. We walked around the house until we stood in front of it. She pointed in what I thought was a random direction towards the woods
. “Is that the direction you walked when you decided to go exploring on your own?”
I nodded.
“I assume you touched things along the route?”
Again, I nodded.
“Good, then let us retrace your steps.”
“Wait, what does this have to do with dark magic?”
Jasmine didn’t answer. Instead, she headed off in the direction I had taken two days ago, and I was forced to follow behind her. Part of me worried that we would run into the werewolves again, but Jasmine seemed unperturbed. We walked several yards into the woods when Jasmine came to an abrupt stop. She was staring at something, but when I tried to focus on what had captured her attention, I didn’t see anything.
“You touched the trunk of that tree right there,” Jasmine told me. She walked over to a tree and pointed to part of the trunk covered in what appeared to be ash. The spot was about as wide as my hand. I didn’t recall placing my hand on that tree, but maybe Jasmine could smell my scent.
“Um… I can’t be certain but maybe.”
“I am sure of it,” Jasmine assured me.
She started walking again, and I followed. For a while, we walked, each step taking us further away from the house. I kept looking over my shoulder, uneasy with being out of sight of the house after what happened the other day. Jasmine stopped again and crouched down to touch some large ferns.
“You also skimmed your fingers along these leaves,” she muttered, staring at the plant.
“Jasmine, what does this have to do with dark magic?”
“It proves my theory,” Jasmine said, rising to her feet. She turned to look at me and said, “Mae, your power has made the dark magic that coats this forest detectable. The dark spot on the tip of the ferns here, where your fingers touched, is dark magic. The spot on the tree back where I pointed out, was also dark magic.”