How had she gotten those words out to him? How in the hell had she said those words to Justin?
Phoebe stood up and cleared her throat. “Hey, I’ll grab the sushi for us, okay, ladies?”
Delanie gave her a grateful look. “Would you mind? Thanks, Phoebe, you’re the best.”
“Yeah, thanks,” Gabby managed to muster, but the thought of food made her nauseous.
Once Phoebe had disappeared, Delanie turned back to her.
“You don’t look so hot, are you okay?”
“Fine,” she muttered and shook her head. “No. Not fine. Justin was out there when I left.”
“Still? I thought he’d gone.”
“Me too,” she muttered. “Otherwise I sure wouldn’t have gone outside.”
“So are you going to explain what’s going on? Why you’re avoiding him like the plague?” She folded her arms across her chest. “Or am I right on the mark by guessing you guys slept together?”
Gabby sat down on the edge of Delanie’s desk, her throat working against the emotion. “Right on the mark.”
“And so I’m also going to guess, by your gloominess, that this doesn’t automatically mean you’re going to get married and procreate until you’re blue in the face?”
“Right again.” Though the idea had so much appeal, it made her want to throw herself on the ground and start crying.
Because that just wasn’t possible. Especially after what she’d just said to him. The thought of the words she’d hurled at him made bile rise in her throat.
“Why is he so bad for you, Gabby?” Delanie set down her pen, which she’d been twirling between her fingers. “I mean, I get that you said he wasn’t the settling down kind…but for some guys, maybe it just takes one woman to change all that.”
Gabby rolled her eyes and sniffled. “You’ve been watching way too many chick flicks.”
Delanie lifted an eyebrow and drawled, “You know I prefer action.”
“I know. Sorry.”
“Seriously, though. You don’t think he can change?”
Gabby hesitated. “I found something yesterday morning.”
“Oh God, were you snooping?”
“No! He, umm, just had his email open.”
“You read his emails?”
“Just one.” She bit her lip. “It was from some chick describing their time in bed.”
“Okay...but maybe it was an old email? Maybe they had sex a long time ago.”
“Oh.” Gabby paused and her brows knitted. “I suppose...I didn’t think of that.”
“Okay, Nancy Drew. Since you were scoping out his emails, did you check his sent items? To see if he replied?”
“What? No, the email was open. I...” Gabby broke off and gave an exasperated sigh.
“That email may not mean anything.”
Gabby gave her friend a disbelieving look. “There’s more, though. Another girl sent him a suggestive IM while I was sitting at the computer.”
“Okay. Look, Gabby, I know it looks bad. But you have to remember something. Justin used to date a lot. You both had no qualms about being involved with many people over the years. Maybe he’s changed and the women from his past haven’t gotten the hint?”
Gabby’s pulse quickened at the possibility. “Do you think?”
“Maybe. What did Justin say about it when you asked?”
“I didn’t.”
“You didn’t ask him?”
“No! I ran out the door before I could screw up any more than I already had.”
“You mean by screwing Justin?”
“Right.”
“You need to just talk to him, Gabby. He can probably explain. I’ve never seen you like this over a guy.”
“Like what?”
“Twitterpated.”
“Twitterpated? Is that a word?”
“I don’t know, grab a dictionary. But really, talk to him about this.” Delanie sighed. “Seriously, Gabby, when I went to the door he looked…so incredibly desperate. Anxious. Like a guy looks when he’s afraid he’s lost the love of his life.”
The lump in Gabby’s throat grew and she lowered her gaze. God, what she wouldn’t give for Delanie’s words to have one ounce of truth.
“He doesn’t love me, Delanie. We were really good friends. Really good friends who discovered we’re also compatible in the sack.” She shook her head. “That in no way means we’re the stuff they write fairytales about.”
“You never know.” Delanie steepled her hands on her desk and balanced her chin on them. “What’s really going on here, Gabby? You’re shooting down every possible solution with an excuse. Why won’t you even give you guys a chance?”
Frustrated, Gabby admitted flatly, “Because he’s too much like my father.”
Delanie’s mouth tensed. “You think Justin would hit you?”
“No, of course not,” Gabby said softly, her mouth curving downward slightly. “Justin would never hurt me. Not physically anyway.”
“Then how’s he like your dad?” Delanie asked and then went silent for a moment. “I don’t mean to pry, I just don’t know a lot about your parents, Gabby, other than that your father was abusive to your mom.”
“My father has been unfaithful to my mother for probably their entire marriage. He could never be happy with just one woman.” Her gut twisted, the admission sounding odd on her lips. Had she ever talked about it, really? “Initially he didn’t hit her that much. The first time I remember it happening was when she spoke up about him being with another woman.”
Delanie reached out and grabbed her hand, squeezing it. “Gabby…”
“She actually learned pretty quickly. Maybe only once or twice did she bring it up to him after that. But it was like, after that first time, the seal was broken.” Gabby’s jaw clenched. “If dinner was late. If she asked him to turn down the volume on the television. After a while it didn’t matter, anything could set him off…”
Delanie’s fingers tightened around her. “And it took her this long to leave him?”
“She still loves him. After all he’s done to her. I tried for years to make her leave, I really did.”
“There’s not a lot you can do for someone like that, Gabby. Except be there when they’re ready.”
“I know.” Gabby lifted her gaze and thought of Phoebe. Their friend had gone through it herself, had admitted how hard it could be to leave an abuser.
Delanie cleared her throat. “So, do you think that because Justin dated a lot—and let me remind you that you did too—he’s just like your father?”
“God, you and Phoebe are like my therapists,” Gabby muttered. “I just know my father left big, negative impressions on me about men who have a hard time committing.”
“But Justin hasn’t committed to anyone yet. Once he does, it’s possible he’ll never touch another woman again besides his wife.” Delanie gave her a pointed look.
Gabby snorted.
“Seriously, Gabby. I mean, if you’re going to rule out all the men who’ve dated lots of women, you’ve just lost a big chunk of the penile population.”
“Jesus.” Gabby groaned and started to braid her hair, anything to distract her from the valid points Delanie may or may not have been making.
“Just talk to him, Gabby. Please.”
“It’s too late…I did talk to him,” she admitted. “Outside. I basically handed him a hand basket and told him where to go with it.”
“You didn’t.”
“I did.”
“Gabby.” Delanie bit her lip. “Are you sure that was the right move?”
Gabby blinked, her eyes suddenly filling with tears. She never cried. This was freaking ridiculous!
“No. But I already said some pretty crappy things to him. And the way he looked at me afterward…”
“Okay, so tell him what you just told me. About your father.”
“I can’t.”
“Then you’ve lost him.” Delanie sighed, obviously exasperated.
/>
Delanie was right. If she didn’t talk to Justin, try to explain things, then she had lost him. And the idea of it made everything inside her swirl with misery.
She couldn’t paint all men with her dad’s brush. Once she really sat down and thought about it, she knew Justin wasn’t like that. And she also knew she didn’t want to lose him. At all. But—oh God—was it too late?
“Hey, Gabby. I have a confession of my own.”
Gabby looked up at Delanie’s sudden announcement, pushing aside her own fear of having already lost Justin.
“Oh?”
“Yeah.” Delanie bit her lip. “I haven’t told Phoebe yet, because I feel awful.”
Gabby studied her friend closely and saw the guilt on her face. “What’s going on?”
“I took a call a couple of hours ago. There’s a resort up in the San Juan Islands in Washington State. Apparently the owner has heard of Second Chances and wants to donate to our organization.”
“You’re kidding!” Gabby cried, eyes widening. “That’s great news, why would you feel guilty about it?”
“Because I’ve been invited up to spend a week touring the resort. To discuss the details, sign some papers, and…” Delanie glanced away, her cheeks turning pink. “Consider a job offer as the resort’s marketing director.”
Gabby leaned back on her heels and her lips parted. “I didn’t know you were considering a new job.”
“I’m not. I mean, I wasn’t.” Delanie hesitated. “But the idea of working in marketing has so much appeal, it’s why I majored in it. And…God, I just feel so guilty even considering it.”
Gabby shook her head and placed a hand on her arm. “Don’t feel guilty.”
“I haven’t taken the job yet and likely won’t. But I want to go up there to see the place. Accept the donation on behalf of Second Chances.” She paused. “And consider the possibility of the job. But how do I tell Phoebe?”
Gabby knew Phoebe and Delanie had gone to college together, had been close. And after Phoebe had left her abusive relationship, they’d both come to work at Second Chances together.
“Delanie, I really think she’ll understand if you decide to go.” Gabby smiled. “And you don’t even have to tell her about the job part. If you decide not to take it, no harm done. If you do, deal with that bridge when you come to it.”
Relief flickered in Delanie’s expression. “Thanks, Gabby. You’re right.”
The door opened again and Phoebe came inside, carrying their lunch. Gabby gave Delanie a quick wink and hurried back to her desk.
Phoebe crossed the room, unusually quiet as she set the brown paper bag on the desk.
“Thanks for grabbing lunch,” Gabby said and grimaced. “Seeing as I couldn’t seem to complete the task myself.”
“No problem,” Phoebe murmured and sat down in her chair, staring at her desk, seeming lost in thought.
Gabby and Delanie exchanged a glance, before Gabby asked, “Everything okay?”
“Sure.” Phoebe gave a quick nod and then hesitated. “I just…I’m sure it’s nothing, but I could’ve sworn I just saw Rick outside the sushi restaurant.”
“You saw Rick? Did he approach you?”
By Delanie’s sharp response, Gabby guessed Rick to be Phoebe’s abusive ex.
“No. In fact, I know I’m just being silly.” Phoebe gave a laugh that didn’t hold much humor. “It was just for a second, and when I looked again he was gone. Besides, he moved to New Jersey a couple of years ago.”
“Okay…” Delanie drew out the word slowly. “Just promise me you’ll be alert, you know, just in case it was.”
Gabby nodded, feeling a faint stab of concern. “I agree. Be alert.”
“Of course,” Phoebe said, but her expression had closed off, a clear indication she was through discussing it. She dug into the paper bag and pulled out two black containers. “California Roll for Gabby and Dragon Roll for Delanie.”
Gabby crossed the room and scooped it up. “Thank you, Phoebe.”
“You’re welcome.” She stood back up and muttered, “I’m running to the bathroom. Be back in a few.”
Gabby watched her go and frowned. “Think she’s okay?”
“I hope so.” Delanie shook her head, opening her box of sushi. “Because I will kick that man’s ass to China and back if he shows up in her life again.”
Gabby laughed softly. “You’re a great friend, Delanie. To both of us. Thank you for the talk earlier. I needed it.”
Delanie glanced up, her eyes brightening. “Justin?”
“Yeah.” Gabby bit her lip, knowing she needed to see him tonight. Try to explain things. He deserved that much. And God, please let him understand and take her back. “I’m going to talk to him tonight.”
“Good. I’m glad, Gabby. I think he’s the one for you.”
“I do too,” she admitted softly. “I just hope…it’s not too late.” Her lips twitched. “And he has a damn good explanation for those emails.”
“Trust him, Gabby. Trust him.”
Gabby took her food back to her desk, knowing that despite all her fears about the idea of them together, she did trust him. Which made her freaking out this morning even more awful. She’d go to him tonight and explain. Apologize. Help him understand that she’d completely failed that first instance of trust...
But how much did Justin trust her?
She glanced at the clock, her stomach rolling. In a few hours she’d have her answer.
Justin took another swig of beer and scanned the email again. Without hesitating, he hit send and then sat back on the couch.
Done and dealt with.
Not much more to do tonight other than get shit-faced in celebration of a broken heart. Not like he’d admit that to anyone—hell, admitting it to himself made him feel like the biggest idiot on the planet. Mainly because he’d brought this on himself.
He’d continued to pursue Gabby when she’d flat out told him she didn’t want to get involved.
Standing up from the couch, he scratched his chest and shook his head. He’d just figured that once they finally slept together, she’d change her mind and see things the way he did. That though they rocked on the friends level, they were destined for so much more.
He walked to the fridge to grab another beer, but hesitated when Doug let out a sharp howl from the front room. He barked again, but this time it was more of a happy bark, which was followed by a series of ecstatic yelps.
Was it even possible?
He shut the fridge and walked slowly into the living room. Not even three feet from the door, he froze when someone knocked on it.
Doug jumped off the couch and ran to the door. He sat in front of it and then turned to stare at Justin, his tail slapping the ground in a rhythmic declaration of happiness.
Justin’s gaze lifted from his dog to the door. Drawing in a slow breath, he took the last few steps and swung it open.
The fog had rolled in, bringing with it a mist that hinted at rain.
And Gabby stood on the doorstep, her arms wrapped around her middle, almost defensively. Her lower lip trembled and her eyes held a mix of fear and regret.
“Gabby,” he breathed her name on a sigh, his gut clenching. “What are you—”
“My father slept around on my mom. One affair after another. If my mom protested, he’d beat her up.”
Justin drew in a ragged breath at her broken confession. The sudden glaze of tears in her eyes made them shine greener under the porch light.
“I need to know you’re nothing like him, Justin.” Her voice cracked. “I need to know that I would be enough for you.”
His chest tightened and he had to force himself to swallow against the lump in his throat.
“Because I love you,” she whispered almost inaudibly. “I didn’t want to. But I do.”
“Gabby,” he said thickly and stepped out onto the porch and slid his arms around her, pulling her against him. She loved him. It was hard to stand upright, his musc
les almost went lax with her confession.
“I didn’t handle things well today,” she went on, dragging in a watery breath. “I was so hung up on my own insecurities.”
“Gabby,” he pushed her away slightly and lifted her chin with one finger. “It’s okay.”
“It’s not. I just—”
He closed his mouth over hers, sliding his tongue deep to taste her sweetness. To claim her. To reassure her.
She tensed in his arms, making a frustrated groan. But after a moment, when he softened the kiss, her body went pliant against him and she made a soft sigh of surrender. Of relief.
He lifted his head, his heart pounding harder.
“Never,” he said fiercely, his own voice shaking now. “Ever doubt that you’re not enough for me.” He pushed a strand of hair off her forehead and kissed a tear off her cheek. “I would never cheat on you, Gabby. And I sure as hell wouldn’t hit you.”
“I know,” she gave a wobbly nod. “I had no right to judge you on your dating habits—you were right. I was just as guilty. We were both just searching for…the one.”
“Exactly. And even though we didn’t know it, we’d already found what we were looking for.” He moved his thumb over her swollen bottom lip and gave a crooked smile. “You were living right under my roof. I think I’ve been in love with you for longer than I realized.”
She closed her eyes and buried her head against his chest. The moisture from her wet cheeks dampened his T-shirt.
“Will you answer me something, honey?” he murmured, stroking her back. “Friday night we crossed that bridge from friends to lovers. You left early Saturday morning. Did you just wake up regretting it?”
She stiffened in his arms and he thought he heard her curse under her breath.
After a few seconds she pulled away and looked up at him, guilt clear on her face.
“I’m not proud of this, but I looked at your email,” she confessed. “I only read a bit, but it was enough…”
Justin lifted his head and looked past her, visualizing what she would have seen. The email he’d put off responding to for weeks. The one from a woman he’d dated almost a year ago and who he’d recently run into at a bar. He’d had the email open so he could reply. No wonder she’d freaked out.
Anybody but Justin Page 8