Nicki was as quiet as usual as they drove the couple of miles to the restaurant, and just in case she was worried about meeting Jennifer, he took the time to tell his niece a little bit more about her. He told her things he thought might interest a twelve-year-old, such as that Jennifer drove a convertible and was friends with a famous artist, but that was all.
He saw her sitting at a table as soon as he ushered Nicki into the crowded restaurant. She looked beautiful. He’d never wanted a woman so much just from looking at her. Or was it because he could only look that he wanted her so much?
With one arm around his niece, he led her toward Jennifer’s table, surprised to find that his hands were sweating. So much rested on the evening. Far more than either of his guests knew.
He could tell the second that Jennifer noticed them. He saw her stiffen, saw her glance run over Nicki and then away. His heart sank. She was meeting her own daughter for the first time. Shouldn’t she feel something, some connection, even if she didn’t know why?
“Is that her?” Nicki whispered.
“That’s her,” Bryan said. He wished he could tell Nicki that the woman she was heading toward was her mother. She deserved to know that. Jennifer deserved to know it, too. It was unfair of him to walk her daughter up to her as if she was a total stranger. And yet, as he saw Jennifer’s eyes shy away from the child at his side, he knew he couldn’t tell her. He couldn’t tell either of them. Not yet.
“Jennifer, this is Nicki,” he said as they reached the table. He held Nicki’s chair out for her. Waiting.
“Hi.” Nicki grinned, a hint of the imp he’d once known.
“It’s nice to meet you,” Jennifer said, returning Nicki’s smile, then looking away.
Nicki didn’t seem to notice Jennifer’s reticence. She sat down, picked up her menu and started to read it as if she actually had an appetite to appease.
Jennifer picked up her menu, too, and Bryan looked from one to the other of them, a man truly between a rock and a hard place. He was amazed, once he saw them together, how very much they resembled each other, with their long auburn curls and striking hazel eyes, and knew a moment’s unease when he considered the possibility that someone else might pick up on the resemblance, as well.
They ordered dinner, but as soon as the waiter left, silence fell over the table again. Bryan refused to let the evening fail and spent the next ten minutes trying to keep the conversation rolling for all three of them. But between Jennifer’s monosyllabic replies and Nicki’s shy smiles, it seemed an impossibility. He was relieved when their dinners arrived and they could occupy themselves with the business of eating.
“My steak’s great. How’s your, Nick?” he asked.
“Good.”
Bryan looked to Jennifer. She wasn’t eating much, which was unusual. “How about yours?” he asked.
“Fine.”
Silence descended again. Bryan was beginning to think he’d made the biggest mistake of his life.
“Could I have the salt, please?” Nicki’s soft voice broke the silence.
The saltshaker was by Jennifer. She picked it up, passed it to Nicki with a tight smile and turned her attention back to her plate.
“Thanks,” Nicki said.
“You’re welcome.”
Great. These two had spent nine intimate months together and now the most they could manage was polite platitudes? Bryan’s appetite was rapidly dwindling to nothing as he sat between them, needing to make things right for both of them and suspecting it might be impossible.
Nicki put her fork down on a near-empty plate. “Your hair’s the same color as mine,” she suddenly said, looking at the twist of hair on Jennifer’s head.
Bryan almost choked. Their hair color was unusual. Would either of them be suspicious of the resemblance? Would Nicki? She knew he’d been looking for her birth mother.
“Yes, it is.” Jennifer glanced at Nicki’s long auburn curls, then away.
“I guess you have to be careful with colors, too,” Nicki said, her voice tentative.
Jennifer smiled at her before looking away again. “Always.”
Nicki looked over at Bryan. “You know what Lucy did today, Uncle Bryan? She fell asleep in the dirty clothes,” she said, a smile on her lips. It didn’t quite reach her eyes, but it was a start.
The evening ended as soon as they finished dinner. Bryan and Nicki walked Jennifer to her car.
“It was nice meeting you,” Nicki said, somehow making the words sound sincere, rather than merely polite.
Jennifer glanced at his niece only briefly. “It was nice meeting you, too, Nicki. Bye,” she said before climbing into her car.
Bryan couldn’t let her just drive away. He was afraid he’d never see her again. He leaned down and kissed her fully, if much too briefly, on the lips. He’d have liked to have spent the next several hours kissing her— and more. But Nicki was there. And Nicki came first.
“Bryan?” Jennifer’s voice called him back as he turned to go. “Call me.” The two words sounded ominous.
He nodded, leading Nicki away.
“Bye,” Nicki said one last time, looking over her shoulder as she and Bryan headed to the Jeep.
“She’s nice,” Nicki said on the short drive home.
Bryan was amazed. How could Nicki say that? Jennifer had barely acknowledged her all night.
“I think so,” he said.
“She eats her salad without dressing, same as me. And Mom always said I must be the only person in the world who does that.”
So she’d noticed, too. “She does, huh?” Intelligent, Chambers.
“Do you think we can go out with her again sometime?”
Bryan glanced at his niece, seeing the interest sparking in her eyes. “I’ll ask her,” he said, knowing he couldn’t promise any more than that, and worried he was setting Nicki up for a disappointment. He wouldn’t be at all surprised if Jennifer planned to end things once and for all the first chance she got.
He’d just have to see that she didn’t get the chance.
Bryan had some papers to drop off at Teal Automotive the next day, and he stopped home to get Nicki on the way to Jennifer’s office.
“Are you sure she won’t mind if I come to her work?” Nicki asked, already slipping into her sandals.
“I’m sure,” Bryan said, though he wasn’t at all. After the way Jennifer had acted the night before, he wasn’t sure she ever wanted to see Nicki again. Which was why he couldn’t give her a choice. She had no idea how much was resting on her learning to care for Nicki.
Not only was Nicki’s happiness hanging in the balance, but Bryan’s, as well, and, he suspected, Jennifer’s. He’d only begun to realize how much he’d grown to feel for Jennifer over the past weeks, how much his future happiness had begun to depend on her. He’d intended to insinuate himself into the woman’s life, find out what made her tick for Nicki’s sake. He hadn’t expected to want to stay there.
And if she didn’t accept Nicki, he’d never get the chance.
SHE WAS SUCH A YOUNG LADY, so grown-up. Jennifer hadn’t realized how mature twelve was. And yet, there’d been a true air of innocence about her—
“Hey, Jennifer! You in there?”
Jennifer’s gaze flew from the window of her office to the man who’d been sitting across from her most of the morning. “Sorry, Dennis. Where were we?” she asked, looking at the figures in front of her.
“I’ve been right here. It’s you who keeps leaving us. We can put this off, you know. We didn’t finish this year’s projected budgets until last August. Next year’s can certainly wait another week or two.”
Jennifer gathered up the papers on her desk. She really had it bad. There had never been a time when work didn’t take care of what ailed her. “If you don’t mind, I guess we better stop for now. I’m having a little trouble concentrating.”
“I’ve noticed,” Dennis said dryly, putting his copies of the Teal Automotive projected profits back into a folder.
“You wanna tell me what’s got you so tied up?”
“I met his niece last night,” she said softly, remembering the long excruciating ordeal.
Dennis froze, his papers half-in and half-out of their folder. “And?” he asked, watching her carefully.
“She was older than I expected.”
“She’s not twelve?”
“Yeah, she’s twelve. Twelve is older than I expected. She knew exactly what to order for herself and didn’t have to be reminded of her manners even once.”
“You sound disappointed.”
Jennifer shrugged. “Silly, isn’t it? It’s just that whenever I’ve pictured my baby out there, growing up, it’s always been with the idea that she still needed mothering. But Nicki’s so self-sufficient.”
“I’m sure not all twelve-year-olds are, Jen. And just because she can eat by herself doesn’t mean she doesn’t need a mother. You certainly could have used one at that age.”
She looked up, surprised. “I had one.”
“In fact, maybe, not in deed, but I’m not going to debate with you about it again. So how’d it go otherwise?”
Jennifer fiddled with the magnetic paper-clip holder Sam had given her for Christmas one year. It was in the shape of a Mustang. “It went okay,” she said.
Dennis didn’t say anything. He just sat watching her.
“I liked her.”
“You two hit it off?”
“Not exactly, but I don’t think she hates me.”
“She’d be nuts if she does. What’d Bryan say about it?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t talked to him yet today.” She’d been waiting for his call all morning.
Dennis pushed his files aside. “Was it as hard as you thought it would be?”
“Harder.” Jennifer was appalled when tears sprang to her eyes. She’d thought she’d cried them all out during the long dark hours of the night.
“I’m sorry, Jen,” Dennis said awkwardly, leaning forward to brush the top of her hand with his fingers.
Jennifer swallowed, then wiped her eyes, willing the tears to stop. “Her hair’s the same color as mine,” she said, her words barely above a whisper. “I kept watching her in my peripheral vision and wondering if my own daughter looks like that, if she smiles so sweetly, if her bone structure is as fine. If she eats her salad without dressing.”
“Bryan’s niece ate her salad without dressing?” Dennis asked.
Jennifer nodded.
“And I thought you were the only one who did that,” he said, smiling across at her gently.
“I know. And she seems to like catsup as much as I do, too.” Jennifer stopped, composing herself. She’d never been so confused in her life, but she was feeling again. She just hadn’t decided if that was a good thing or a bad thing.
Her intercom buzzed, startling her.
She pushed the call button. “Yes, Rachel?”
“Mr. Chambers is here to see you, Ms. Teal.”
Jennifer’s eyes flew to Dennis. She wasn’t ready to see him yet. Not like this.
Her office door opened. “Oh, but—I’m sorry, Ms. Teal,” Rachel said over the intercom as Bryan stepped into her office.
He wasn’t alone. Jennifer’s gaze fluttered to the child hovering nervously at his side.
“Hello, Nicki, it’s good to see you again,” she said, her heart floating. Dear God, was it right for her to feel such an immediate bond with this child? She flooded with guilt when she thought of her own child, the one she’d abandoned, the one who had the right to expect her affection—
“Hello, Ms. Teal. Uncle Bryan said you wouldn’t mind if I came along with him.”
Her voice was as sweet as Jennifer remembered.
“I don’t mind at all,” Jennifer said, looking at Bryan. He smiled at her in that way he had that made her feel like the only woman alive.
And then, coming farther into the room, he shook Dennis’s hand. “Good to see you, Dennis,” he said. “I’ve got some schedules for you two to approve.” He pulled a folder out of the sketchbook under his arm.
Nicki wandered over to the couch, and Jennifer wanted to leave the two men to their business and join the girl there. But she couldn’t think of a thing to say. She didn’t have any idea what twelve-year-old girls were interested in. Did they play with Barbie dolls? Or did they think fashion dolls were dumb by the time they reached twelve? Did they still watch cartoons and think boys had cooties? She couldn’t remember how it had felt to be twelve. She started to get nervous.
“Let me see what you’ve got,” she said, joining the men.
Nicki sat quietly on the couch, looking at the pictures on Jennifer’s office walls.
BRYAN CALLED Jennifer later that afternoon to invite her to his place for dinner the following evening. He didn’t expect her to accept, but he wanted her to know he wasn’t going to give up. He was shocked when she agreed to come. His house wasn’t ready for guests.
She’d never seen his home before, and picturing the cool perfection of her penthouse, he spent the entire next day at home cleaning, much to Nicki’s amusement. But as much as his niece teased him about his unusual behavior, she helped him, too. She seemed almost excited herself at the prospect of company.
Nicki was a whiz in the kitchen, having learned to cook from her mother and grandma, and when she offered to make a meat loaf with all the trimmings, Bryan didn’t have the heart to tell her he’d been thinking of something a little fancier.
She was wearing her daisy outfit and had been pacing between the living-room window and the kitchen for almost half an hour by the time Jennifer pulled into the driveway.
“She’s here,” she announced. Bryan dropped the stack of magazines he’d been trying to find a home for right back where they belonged—in the middle of the coffee table. He was what he was, blue jeans, ponytail and all.
Nicki hung back when he answered the door, but not too far. Jennifer looked beautiful as always, slim and cool in a short white dress that flared just over her hips. He brushed her lips with his and invited her inside.
“Hi,” Nicki said from behind him.
“Hello.” Jennifer smiled over his shoulder at Nicki before turning back to Bryan.
“I like your house,” she said, looking around at the interior with its open-floor plan.
“It’s not quite a penthouse.” He cursed himself for saying that. Possessions didn’t matter to him. And he’d be damned if he’d start apologizing for what he was just because he’d met a woman who mattered.
“It’s a lot nicer than a penthouse.” Jennifer walked into the living room, turning around. “You don’t have to wait for an elevator to get home, for one thing,” she said.
“You live in a penthouse?” Nicki asked, following her into the room.
Jennifer nodded, glancing at Nicki only briefly before looking around again. “Where’s your dogLucy, didn’t you say her name was?”
“Uncle Bryan made me keep her outside. She barks a lot when she meets someone new.”
“She also jumps up on people, and I didn’t want her to get hair all over you before you even got in the door,” Bryan said, leading Jennifer over to the couch.
Jennifer sat down, sniffing the air. “Something sure smells good,” she said.
“It’s meat loaf. Nicki made it.”
“I hope you like it,” Nicki added, sounding apologetic.
“I’ve always liked meat loaf,” Jennifer told them both, jumping up to peer at the books in Bryan’s bookcase.
They’d been his mother’s. The wall they’d been on since before Bryan was born hadn’t been touched by the tornado that had torn up most of the house.
Nicki went out to put the finishing touches on dinner, and Bryan poured a couple of glasses of wine. As tense as he felt, it was still great to be alone with her for a moment.
“Here, this is for you,” he said, taking her a glass. But he didn’t hand it to her immediately. He bent down to kiss her first. A kiss that exploded b
etween them the minute their lips touched. A kiss that would have continued if Nicki hadn’t called from the kitchen to say that dinner was ready.
By the time they met his niece in the dining room, Bryan had his breathing a little more under control. The rest of his body wasn’t so quick to cool down. He took his seat at the head of the table, wondering if he was ever going to find out what it was like to make love with Jennifer, to have her moaning beneath him, begging for satisfaction. Somehow he couldn’t picture Jennifer begging for anything.
Nicki passed around plates and bowls, and the conversation was as scarce as it had been the other night. Bryan still hadn’t seen Jennifer look directly at Nicki for more than a few seconds, but at least she was eating better tonight. He hoped that meant she was getting a little bit more comfortable being around Nicki.
“You know what, Uncle Bryan? I think you’ve set a record for the number of times in a row you’ve seen Ms. Teal,” Nicki said about halfway through the meal.
Bryan nearly choked on his baked potato. Jennifer offered him his glass of water, solicitous as always, but he saw the grin she was trying to hide.
“You might even fall in love with her,” Nicki continued. Bryan didn’t know whether to shout with glee at this glimpse of the Nicki he used to know or to strangle her.
“Finish your dinner, Nick,” he said, trying to sound stern and fatherly.
“I am finished.” Nicki motioned to her empty plate. “Grandma always used to say that it would take the love of a good woman to bring peace to your wandering soul,” Nicki said.
She sounded just like his mother when she said it, too. “Having you here brought peace to my soul, sprite. Now go get us some dessert or something.”
“I made brownies,” Nicki said, taking her empty plate into the kitchen.
He watched the door swing shut behind his niece, hearing again the words he’d just said. Having her with him, having someone he loved at home, needing his care, did seem to have brought peace to his soul, at least for the time being. He’d been feeling a lot of uncomfortable things lately, but claustrophobic wasn’t one of them. Of course, knowing himself as he did, he knew that the dreaded restlessness could attack at any time.
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