by T Gephart
“Yeah, I like it here. It just feels right.” He shot me a quick wink and stepped out of the car.
I joined him on the sidewalk as we made the short trip to the security door. Josh pulled out a set of keys and unlocked the outer door that opened up into a narrow hall with a set of stairs.
“No doorman.” He squeezed my hand as he led me to the stairs. “There’s no elevator either. But I’m only on the second floor.”
“I don’t mind, it will help work off dinner.” I followed him up the carpeted stairs to the second floor.
“This is me.” He unlocked his front door and opened it, waiting for me to go through.
The light came on as he stepped in behind me, closing the door with a thud. Inside was not what I expected at all.
Everything was tidy. The pale blue couch matched the pale blue drapes, and the coffee table was stacked with two neat rows of magazines. It was small, but cozy, with the kitchen and living room all visible from the front door.
“Let me give you the grand tour.” He pulled me further inside, our feet hitting the carpet just a few feet away.
“This is my living room. And over there is the kitchen.” He pointed it out even though it was easy enough to see. “There is the dining room.” His finger moved to a small nook off to the side, which had a wooden kitchen table and four chairs. “And through the hall is the bedroom and bathroom.”
“It’s great.” My body turned, taking it in from all angles. Honestly, I was surprised how neat it was and how homely everything felt. If I’d walked in without knowing who lived here, I’d never guess it was a big tattooed guy.
“Not as impressive as yours, but it’s mine.” He wrapped his arms around me. “You want to see the other rooms?”
“Yes,” I answered with zero hesitation, unaffected by the comparison of our apartments or his statement. I followed him the few steps that it took to enter his bedroom.
Like the rest of the house, it was small but neat. While the living room had been styled with cool hues of blue, his bedroom was a mix of charcoal and different shades of gray. The small lamp he’d switched on threw a muted yellow wash across the room; it was bright enough to see everything without the harshness of halogen.
It was obvious there were differences between the places where we lived, but to me it didn’t matter. Sure, I loved my apartment with its two bedrooms, large closet space and terrace but I could have just as easily been happy in his place trying to find places to stuff my collection of shoes.
“You’re not having second thoughts are you?” He mistook my silence as nerves, lowering his head to look at me as those kind, perfect, blue eyes studied me. “Because we can wait, Eve.”
“No, no second thoughts.” I slung my arms around his neck, stretching on my toes to kiss him. “And because we’re at your place, I don’t have to worry about you sneaking off in the middle of the night.”
“Is that so?” He grinned, tipping me back so he could kiss my neck. “Neither of us are going anywhere.”
The rumble in his voice was like a jolt of electricity up my spine, my skin prickling as warmth spread across it. And I was no longer thinking about the apartment, the neighborhood and where I could store my shoes.
“Take your clothes off for me.” I unwound myself from his body and lowered myself onto his large mattress.
“Funny, I was going to ask you to do the same thing.” He stood with his feet shoulder width apart as he looked down at me, all that delicious skin still covered.
“I’ll make you a deal.” I kicked off my ballet flats and wiggled my toes. “I will take off everything while I watch you strip. Think of it as an exercise in efficiency, you said you liked that.” I glanced at him under my lashes, taunting him with my hand hovering at the hem of my shirt.
“I like a lot of things.” His fingers curled around the bottom of his T-shirt and yanked it off, tossing it aside. “You naked—is currently at the top of my list.”
Josh’s chest when he was wearing clothes was hot, but naked, it was spectacular. The explosion of color snaked up his torso, down both arms as each muscle flexed under his movement. I’d already seen it, but it was no less impressive the second time around.
“Uh-uh.” Josh shook his head. “You don’t get any more until I do. This was your deal, remember?”
Slowly, I unbuttoned my shirt, my fingers blindly moving down as I kept my eyes locked on him. Pushing the sides open, I shrugged it off my shoulders allowing it to drop onto the comforter behind me. His eyes heated as they latched on to my white sheer bra.
“Take it off,” he enunciated slowly, his jaw tight as his tongue slid across his lips.
“I could say the same.” My hands reached around my back, waiting until he unhooked his belt and lowered the zipper of his jeans.
“Now, Eve.” He toed off his shoes and pulled off his socks. “I want to see you.”
With a flick of my finger, the sheer material went slack, my hands holding it against my body as he bent down and kissed my lips.
My hands dropped and so did the bra, my arms lifting around him as his tongue entered my mouth with so much urgency it pitched me back onto the mattress.
“That didn’t last long.” He moaned into my mouth as his fingers circled around my breast, his weight pinning me below him.
“It was a stupid idea,” I mumbled against his mouth as my hands went to the waistband of his jeans and tried to push them down over his hips. “I was trying to be seductive.”
“Are you kidding me?” He lifted his hips, freeing his jeans and kicking them off. “Everything about you is seductive.” He captured my mouth again while his hands traveled down my belly until they got to the fly of my jeans. “I don’t think I’ve ever wanted a woman as much as I want you now.”
My hands joined his, working in the tight space between our bodies to shimmy my pants down my legs while his hard length, still in his boxer briefs, moved against me.
“That feels so good.” I arched my back, kicking off my jeans, loving the sensation.
“It will feel even better in a minute.” He lifted off me again, his feet planting themselves on the floor as he stood.
He watched me as my eyes stayed glued to his fingers pulling down his boxer briefs and freeing his erection. His thick length swelled as his hand moved up and down the shaft, moving closer.
“Now you.” His fingers unwrapped themselves from his cock and landed on my underwear, sliding them down my legs until I was laying in front of him, bare.
“I need to touch you.” My fingers reached out needing the contact. He didn’t give me the chance, capturing my hands and raising them above my head.
“Not so fast.” His body pressed against mine, the delicious weight exciting me even further.
“But I want—”
His mouth sealed mine, forcing me to swallow the rest of my sentence. The kiss felt desperate, unrestrained as his hands slid down my arms, where they’d been holding me still, down to my body.
There weren’t any more words, ours mouths fused together as he reached down further, his hand cupping my center.
Oh. Yes.
Tingles spread across my skin, the heat between my legs almost unbearable and he’d barely touched me.
I couldn’t wait.
I had no idea what his game plan was, if he was going to tease me one microsecond at a time or work me up until I begged, but I was at my limit and I needed him inside of me.
“Josh.”
The word tore from my throat. Part frustration, part desire, and all impatience.
He chuckled, lifting off me just enough to knee my thighs apart. I was so wet, so slick and needy for him that foreplay would be redundant.
“I wanted to play a little longer.” His thumb rubbed against my clit as my hips lifted toward him. “But if you want this.” His hand was replaced by his cock, its firm length sliding against me. “I’m not going to deny you.”
“Yes. Please.” My hands no longer restrained press
ed against his body and roamed all over his delicious chest.
Again he moved away, this time reaching across to his nightstand and pulling out a row of condoms. “We’re going to need more than one unless you plan to leave soon.” The smile curled on his mouth.
“I’m not going anywhere.” I shook my head, watching as he opened the foil packet and covered his cock in the latex.
He was huge, his body looming above me as he shifted back onto the bed, my hands wrapping around him the minute he was within reach.
“You don’t get to jerk me off, no matter how good it feels.” He unwrapped my hands and pinned them back above my head. Holding them there with one hand, he lowered his head and sucked on my nipple, the pink peak raising the second he made contact.
“That feels so good.”
He moved to the other breast, circling it with his tongue as his cock moved against my entrance. He was so close, teasing me with the head, without allowing it to enter me.
I couldn’t take it anymore, tilting my hips as I bucked against him, taking control as he slipped into me.
“Fuck.” His jaw tightened, holding himself still as I lifted toward him. “You want this, Eve?” He inched in a little more, giving me just enough to drive me more insane.
“Yes.” I moaned, wild underneath him, wanting all he had to give me.
Every muscle in his body was tight as he released my hands and grabbed my thighs. His abs rippled as he leaned back and thrust all the way into me, filling me completely as I sucked in a breath.
“What? Nothing to say?” He taunted me, his grin widening as he pulled out and then pushed in again.
“More,” I groaned, lifting my hips to meet his as he stretched me, bottoming out as he thrust in again.
It was the last word I was able to say, Josh taking over the tempo as he rocked against me.
Faster.
Harder.
Deeper.
Pounding into me, our bodies fused together as our breaths raged out of control.
Sweat broke across my skin, the heat combining with the friction of our bodies and the unrestrained passion.
It had never been like this with Oliver. Hell, it had never been like this with anyone, the connection between us more intense than I’d ever felt before. A line had been crossed where want was tossed to the wayside and need took over.
“I’m going to come.” I’d barely gotten the words out as the sensation slammed into me, every cell of my body fracturing into a million pieces as warmth spread across my skin.
“Yes, Eve. God, that feels so good.” He didn’t stop, continuing to move as my pussy gripped him tight as wave after wave of ecstasy washed over me.
“That’s it, baby.” He thrust one last time, exploding inside of me as my body shook. “God, Eve.” He collapsed, covering me as his cock continued to pulse.
“Stay.” My arms wrapped around him, holding him in place when he tried to move, his weight blanketing my body. “I love the feeling of you, stay on me.”
“I’ll crush you.” He dropped a soft kiss on my lips, pushing onto his elbows to support himself. “You’re so fucking beautiful.” He kissed me again.
“I could say the say about you.” My hands moved up and down his slick skin. “I love your body.”
“Well, good.” He grinned, rolling onto his side, disposing of the condom before pulling me back into a hug. “You’re going to get more of it in a few more minutes.”
“Not a hardship, Josh Logan.” I shuffled in closer, my back against his chest. “Besides, you pulled out all those condoms, it stirred my competitive nature. I’ll bet you tap out before I do.”
“Ha. Not a chance.” His hand strummed against my skin. “I want you to spend the night. All night. With me.”
“I thought that was the plan.” My body turned, rolling toward him so we were facing each other. “And if you recall, last time it was you who left.”
“I know, I didn’t want to rush you. Or cheapen this.” His fingers traced the edge of my shoulder. “This isn’t a one night thing for me.”
He didn’t say rebound, but I think maybe he thought it.
“Me either.” It was crazy how safe and content I felt in his arms, like all the other stuff that had been tumbling in my head before just didn’t matter right now. “I’m spontaneous, and often impulsive. Which is why I didn’t think twice about tracking you down.” I laughed, knowing how badly it could have all turned out. For all I knew, Josh could have been a serial killer who tattooed on the side.
“But when it comes to relationships, I’m usually pretty cautious.” It had been three months before I finally agreed to sleep with Oliver. “It’s different with you. I can’t explain why, but it feels more. I really like you, and I feel that waiting would be wasting time. Time we could spend together. God, I’m not making any sense.” I laughed, burying my head in the crook of his neck, my mouth saying way more than I’d intended.
It sounded ridiculous in my own head. That I had developed feelings—and not just sexual ones—for someone so fast, so I could only imagine how crazy it sounded out loud. Stage-five clinger, anyone?
“It makes perfect sense.” His fingers wrapped around my chin, forcing me to look at him. “It feels right, and sure it’s sort of soon but we’re both adults. No one else gets to be an authority on how much time we should wait. Fuck.” He threw his head back and let out a throaty laugh. “I tried and failed miserably, so I’d say we stop worrying about stuff like that and start worrying about us.”
“Us,” I repeated, the word barely a whisper. “I like that.”
“Good, I like it too. Almost as much as I like you.” He tapped me on the nose.
His words should have reassured me, proven I wasn’t alone on the USS Crazy and celebrated I’d seem to have found a decent man. But of course, my ego and my self-esteem had recently taken a battering, so my confidence wasn’t as high as I would have liked. And what happens when I feel slightly inadequate? I compensate. And sometimes, not in a good way.
“Do you like me enough to let me tattoo you?”
Because I couldn’t leave well enough alone, I had to bring up Josh and what he’d done with another woman. Jealousy, insecurity, or maybe just the general feeling that I wasn’t “enough.” Even though we’d just had great sex and discussed our feelings. Or maybe it was because of that, and now I felt exposed?
“Is that a hypothetical question or are you asking for the opportunity?” His brow furrowed, and I couldn’t tell if he was choosing his words carefully or he just genuinely couldn’t work out why I’d brought it up. It made two of us, I guess. I wasn’t entirely sure what I was trying to accomplish either.
“Hypothetical of course.” I forced the smile, perpetuating the façade that this was just pillow talk.
“Well considering I was going to let you do it before, I guess I’d let you do it.” He shrugged, not seeming to have any real hesitation. “But only after some serious instruction from me, and maybe some practice on Dallas.” He laughed.
“Can I see the crow?” I bit my lip, pushing a little further because obviously his reassurance wasn’t enough. No, I needed the reminder of another woman in my face. “I was too distracted to look before.”
“Sure.” He shifted, loosening his hold around me, and twisted to his side. “It’s not great, and don’t tell Dallas I agree with him, but it does kind of look like two storm clouds fucking.” He laughed, tapping his shoulder as he moved back so I could see.
It was smaller than what I’d expected. No strong lines defining the shape of the bird, and no texture to indicate the feathers or where there was a beak. Not only did it not look like a crow, but it didn’t look like anything else. Just a bunch of flat black color on a back that was otherwise covered in beautiful artwork.
“Wow, it’s a mess.” I ran my fingers along it, the space around the two-storm-clouds-fucking vacant.
“Tell me how you really feel.” He chuckled, not acting like he was at all surprised.
“You left room?” My palm flattened against it, my hand able to entirely hide the hideous mess. All that was left visible was the untouched skin around it, looking a little naked considering the rest of his back.
“I assumed that later I’d cover it with something.” He shrugged again. “But as you can see, it’s so dark and scarred, I’m not sure it’s worth it. It would need to be a really on point design to hide it and not make it look worse. It’s not just the design, you’d need a damn good artist too. I didn’t want to make the same mistake twice, so I left it.”
“Yeah. It would be a challenge for sure.” And looking at it, I made a silent vow to never even consider tattooing him or anyone.
Sure, it would be easy to convince myself I could. I’m sure Jane or Jade or whatever her name was, probably convinced herself too. But my two-week crash introduction showed exactly how much skill was involved.
“I would never want to be responsible for a mistake that someone would have to live with forever. Even if you would be willing to take that risk with me, I will never allow it.”
“Don’t you think that’s my choice to make?” He twisted back around, his arms locking around me. “And one bad tattoo isn’t the end of the world.”
“Don’t you see? It’s not about the tattoo.” I snuggled in closer, loving the feel of the thump of his heartbeat against my skin. “It’s how much of yourself you give. What you sacrifice for someone else. I’m concerned you are too busy worrying about other people, and no one is worrying about you.”
It was more honest than I wanted to be, but I had a hard time keeping up the walls around Josh. I really had to concentrate, and when I didn’t—words tumbled out whether they were welcome or not.
“You got all of that from one tattoo?” He kissed me, so soft it was almost like a feather brushing against my lips. “Nothing we ever did would be a mistake. And that you’re worried about me is so fucking sweet, but unnecessary. Sometimes a bad tattoo is just a bad tattoo. And as long as you learn from it, it’s not really a mistake.”
“God, I wish I could be more like you.” My hands ran over his chest. “I want to be a better person. To know what it feels like when I close my eyes and know I was the best I could be. And, I’m really trying.”