Willy and Laura both seem relieved that things are returning to normal now. Willy’s got us practicing every day again until we go to Nashville. And Allie used “breaking up with Taylor” as her excuse for falling apart the other day, and it seemed to satisfy both of them. But I expect the word will be getting around (to Laura and everyone else) that Taylor is a jerk, although we didn’t send Laura a letter. We felt pretty certain that she was too smart to go out with a creep like Taylor. Besides, she’s still smitten with Ryan anyway.
So even though Allie didn’t handle things the way I thought she should (at least initially), I think what she did was right—for her. It was really her choice, and who am I to question what she believes God is saying to her? She did assure me, however, that she does plan to tell her mom about the whole thing—someday, when the timing seems right. I’ve got to respect her for that.
CONFUSION
crazy days
hazy ways
upside-down
and inside out
what is right
not always clear
God’s the One
we need to hear
cm
Monday, July 21
We’re on our way to Nashville again. This time with Willy and Elise as our chaperones, and little Davie along for the ride. It’s kind of weird, but I feel older this time, more mature somehow. And Allie and Laura seem older to me too. How is this possible in only one month’s time?
Maybe it’s because we know what to expect now. Or maybe our confidence level has increased as a result of the legal contract that proclaims in bold black and white that we are now “professional musicians.” And yet, at the same time, I think I might need to pinch myself—to see if this is all really real.
But just as I’m questioning reality, little Davie comes down the aisle and pours a whole bag of peanuts right into my lap, and I remember that, yes, this is real.
Cesar came over to my house last night, and we sat and talked about everything for a long time. We’ve decided that we’re going to keep in touch through letters—yes, old-fashioned hand-written letters. It was his idea since I didn’t think I’d have much access to a computer to do e-mail. But I think it’s a lovely idea. And I already started writing him one during this flight. Allie made fun of me when she saw what I was doing. But then she apologized and said it was probably just because she was jealous.
“I wish I’d had the sense to pick out a better boyfriend,” she whispered (since her mom was sitting right in front of us).
“Hey, at least you learned something from it,” I reminded her.
She smiled. “Actually, I’ve been thinking about what Caitlin said to our youth group last week.”
“You mean about not dating?” I still wasn’t sure what I thought about this whole abstaining from dating thing. I mean, it’s one thing to abstain from sex—and I’m for sure doing that—but the dating thing still isn’t too clear to me. I’m asking God to show me what’s best for me. But from where I’m sitting, I honestly don’t see anything wrong with my relationship with Cesar. Believe it or not, we haven’t even kissed yet.
Allie nodded. “I really gave some serious thought to her challenge. In fact, I called her up a couple days ago, and we had this nice long talk about the whole thing.”
“Did you tell her about Taylor?”
“Not in so many words, but I hinted at a bad relationship.”
“So are you going to become like Caitlin?” I could hear the teasing tone in my voice, and instantly regretted it. “Not that it would be so bad. Caitlin is pretty cool.”
“Well, I’m praying about it.” She leaned back and sighed. “And to be honest, it sounds like a smart way to go right now. Especially since I’ve already shown that I’m not the best judge of character—especially when it comes to really cute guys.” She giggled. “You know, like Jeremy Baxter…”
“Oh, no.” I groaned. “Don’t tell me you’re getting a crush on the lead guitar player of Iron Cross. You haven’t even met him.”
“I know. But he is so cute.”
Here we go again, I’m thinking. “Well, maybe you’re right.”
“Huh?”
“Maybe you should consider Caitlin’s challenge.”
She playfully punched me in the arm, but I think she knows I only have her best interests at heart. And it hurt me a lot to witness her pain all because of a stupid, selfish, totally depraved boy. I just don’t want to see her going through anything like that ever again.
Especially when I think of everything that God has in store for us—why would we want to do anything to jeopardize this great ride? When I consider the doors He’s kicking open for us, the amazing journey He’s taking us on, and how He might use our music to touch lives…Well, why take chances with that?
WINGS BENEATH ME
i can fly
in God’s arms
i sail so high
high above those
earthly things
in God’s love
i have wings
cm
Twenty-two
Monday, August 11
It was a long, grueling two weeks in Nashville. We thought we’d never get done. I guess we should be grateful that we had absolutely no idea (well, maybe Willy did) how much harder it is to do a professional recording than the simple little demo we did last spring. Long hours, working late into the night, countless retakes—it was like a music marathon.
We came prepared with about thirty songs we felt pretty comfortable with, and the powers that be then selected their top fifteen favorites just based on the lyrics alone. At first I wasn’t too pleased with some of the songs that were cut, but Willy explained that it had to do with balancing the album, and I realized that we’d have to trust them on this.
Naturally, all the songs were written by me and arranged by Willy, well, along with a little help from the producers and mixers. Everybody’s an expert. Actually, the suggestions we received were mostly pretty helpful. One morning they tried to do a photo shoot while we were recording. Talk about a circus! But somehow it all worked out.
The editing and mixing should be finished by now, and according to Willy, the CD is being fast-track produced and we may even have copies by the end of the month. Omega is really breaking the speed barriers on this one. Willy said it has more to do with Iron Cross than us—since they’re in dire need of a warm-up band. But even that remains to be seen. Eric Green said that if we don’t make the grade on the road, it’ll all be for nothing. High stakes. Still, he assured us, “You girls have the right stuff.” I hope he’s right.
Anyway, we were so thankful to be done. After we got home, Laura slept for two whole days, and Allie said she doesn’t care if we ever make another CD—ever! Elise said she thought it was like giving birth—you’d forget about the pain when the time came to do it all over again. I’m not really sure what she means since I’ve never had a baby, but I hope she’s right about forgetting about it.
We got to enjoy a few brief and blissful days at home, and then it was time to hit the road again for our very first concert tour. Family and friends gathered in front of our church, where our tour motor coach was parked, to tell us goodbye.
But before we got on the RV, Willy gave us a sweet little speech. “I know I’m not your dad,” he began, “but I guess I think of you girls as the closest thing to my very own daughters. So you can count on me to act as protective as a real dad, maybe even more so.” He glanced toward our families and grinned. “And you know I’ve promised your parents that I’ll do my best to keep you girls in line.”
“That’s a big promise, Willy,” I teased and the three of us giggled.
He nodded. “I realize that. I also know that going on the road is tough on musicians. It’s been the ruin of many.” He shook his head sadly. “Including yours truly. But I’ve learned my lessons the hard way. And you girls are way ahead of the game already. You’ve got God leading your way. And you’ve got lots of good people all a
round you who care about you and believe in you. We’re all very proud of you, and we know that you won’t do anything to let us down. God bless Redemption!” he shouted, raising his fist in the air.
Our friends and family clapped and cheered at this, then everyone quieted down as Pastor Tony led us all in a prayer. After that we whooped like wild things as we boarded our big shiny RV, waving and blowing kisses to the small crowd of onlookers like we thought we were real celebrities—which we do not.
Eric was right on about our touring accommodations. Very nice. It looked like a great big Greyhound bus on the outside, only nicer, but had all the comforts of home on the inside—TV, VCR, CD player, microwave, full kitchen, fairly roomy bathroom, comfortable beds and seating—the works! Oh, I suppose it could feel cramped in here after a few months, but right now it feels as though we’re just taking off for some really great vacation.
The driver is a large African-American woman named Rosy. At first she seemed a little gruff and almost scary, but now I can see it’s just a surface thing. Underneath it she’s got this really tender heart. I know this because I sat up with her talking until pretty late last night while the others were asleep. She told me about how she’d been married to a real jerk who used to “knock her around after he’d been drinking.” They had a little girl named Violet, but then the girl got sick and died, and Rosy decided to just “up and leave the jerk behind.”
She borrowed enough money to put herself through truck driving school—and now here she is. She’s also a Christian and doesn’t mind sharing her faith with anyone she meets along the way.
I told her I’m glad that she’s our driver and I hope that we don’t make her too crazy with our music and noise and general goofiness. She laughed and said, “I just pretend that my Violet’s along with us. She would be about your age by now. I think she’d enjoy the ride.”
I think she would too. Our schedule looks fairly busy with a lot of road in between stops, but Rosy makes good time on the highway. During the day, we practice, play games, and watch videos, as well as chase after Davie. So far so good, but it’s only been two days.
Our first real concert is tomorrow. “Just a county fair,” Willy said. But hey, it’s the big times to us, and we’ll play for the fair goers no differently than if we were performing at Madison Square Garden in front of thousands.
We’ve all agreed that whatever we do with our music, we are going to do it all out for God. No holding back. Even if only three people show up to watch us tomorrow, we’ll give them their money’s worth. And if they got in for free, we’ll play even harder.
Oh, I know it might be tough to maintain these high standards, but I believe God will help us to do our best. And maybe in time, our concerts will all be “sold out.” It could happen. Who knows?
In the meantime, I know that I am totally “sold out.” Sold out on God, that is!
SOLD OUT!
sold out
don’t hold out
all i am
all i have
all i do
belongs to You
sold out
don’t hold out
mercy
grace
Your love
from above
sold out
on You
amen
Check out the cool new
Diary of a Teenage Girl series website at
www.DOATG.com
Discussion Questions
1. Chloe was hurt when Pastor Rawlins said her music “didn’t have God in it.” How do you feel about the way she handled this when she met with him?
2. At one point, it feels as if the band Redemption is finished. How does this impact Chloe’s faith?
3. After experiencing Marissa’s shoplifting episode once, do you think Chloe and Allie should’ve gone to the mall with her a second time? Have you ever experienced a situation like this? If so, how did you handle it?
4. Chloe is a real dreamer. What does she do that helps her dreams become reality?
5. Chloe cares deeply for kids with problems. Do you think it’s smart for her to hang with friends who aren’t following God?
6. After Allie is nearly raped by her “boyfriend,” Chloe wants her to go to the police, but Allie refuses. What would you do if you were Allie’s friend?
7. Chloe is very creative. Why do you think that is? Do you have room for more creativity in your life?
8. When Redemption starts becoming known, some of Chloe’s previous enemies want to become friends. How would you handle “friends” like that?
9. Unlike Caitlin, Chloe doesn’t feel that God has told her not to date. Do you think she’s making a mistake by getting involved with Cesar?
10. Chloe’s highest purpose in life is to be “sold out” on God. What is yours?
This is a work of fiction. The characters, incidents, and dialogues are products
of the authors imagination and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to
actual events or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
SOLD OUT
published by Multnomah Books
A division of Random House, Inc.
and in association with the literary agency of Sara A. Fortenberry
© 2003 by Melody Carlson
Scripture quotations are from:
The Holy Bible, New International Version © 1973, 1984 by International
Bible Society, used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House
The Holy Bible, King James Version
Multnomah is a trademark of Multnomah Publishers
and is registered in the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office.
The colophon is a trademark of Multnomah Publishers
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise—without prior written permission.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Carlson, Melody.
Sold out: a novel / by Melody Carlson.
p. cm. – (Diary of a teenage girl; Chloe book 2)
Summary: Conflicts arise when fifteen-year-old Chloe Miller and her fellow band members are discovered by a talent scout from Nashville and are invited to record and tour.
[1. Bands (Music)-Fiction. 2. Chirstian life–Fiction.] I. Title.
PZ7.C216637So 2003
[Fic]–dc21
2003005467
eISBN: 978-0-307-56440-5
v3.0
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