by Roxy Wilson
“You’ve worked damn hard. I’m seeing the results.” Jayce was clearly exasperated. “Hell, girl, everyone’s seeing the results.”
“All right, I hear you.”
Raina closed her eyes and took a few calming breaths. One of her migraine headaches was just about to push itself to the surface. On one hand, she wanted to high-tail it out of the gym, on the other, she just wanted to get the whole thing out of the way. So she did what she had to do, she gingerly stepped onto the scale and squeezed her eyes shut, lest she saw a number which would disappoint her.
“At least there’s some modicum of privacy, since it’s placed strategically near the farthest corner of the gym.” Raina ignored Jayce’s smirk as she babbled on, “Thank goodness for small mercies! I would just die if—”
“Damn, girl,” Jayce said dramatically. “You’re ready to hear it? The verdict, I mean?”
Raina opened her eyes and took a deep breath, yet she refused to look down at the scale. It was downright hard work to prepare healthy foods at home to ensure she ate right. At first, getting up at ungodly hours and dragging herself to the gym four days a week was no mean feat, but after doing it for the past thirteen months, she actually looked forward to her workouts. But, there was a part of her, the competitive part, that really hoped she’d lost enough weight to prove to her physician she could get rid of the excess pounds and get those bad figures down, namely her cholesterol and blood pressure. That wasn’t all, though, she wanted to look good and feel better about herself. Constantly being embarrassed whenever she went shopping was simply tiring. Shit, she couldn’t even remember the last time she went shopping. Window shopping, maybe, but certainly not shopping for trendy clothes.
Today was her monthly weigh-in. It took so much effort to avoid hopping onto the scale every morning—and night—because whenever her weight loss had plateaued and the needle stubbornly refused to move, she got really depressed. Sometimes her depression led to eating binges, but she didn’t do that now. It was Jayce who literally saved her from herself. Those days were far behind her now, especially when she began to lose weight steadily, about a half to one pound per week.
Might as well get over it and face one of my demons. Right now. “Okay, Jayce, just give me the numbers.” Raina crossed her fingers and even managed to cross her toes in spite of her shoe-clad feet.
It was obvious Jayce couldn’t contain herself. “Drum roll, please.” Her hands made rapid-fire movements mimicking a drummer holding a pair of sticks and beating on imaginary drums wildly. “Ahem … Raina, you’re now one hundred sixty-three pounds.”
Raina was overcome with emotion. “One hundred sixty-three pounds,” she repeated slowly, fighting to come to terms with what she just heard. But, her disbelief was short-lived. “I did it! I did it! I did it!” she shouted, oblivious to anyone who might be nearby. “I’ve lost more than eighty-five freakin’ pounds.” She hopped off the scale and did a dance. The girls exchanged high fives. Jayce snatched Raina’s hand and dragged her toward the locker room.
“Yes, you did.” Jayce grabbed her best friend and gave her a hug. “And this achievement couldn’t have happened to a better person.” A frown briefly marred her usually doe-eyed features. “Now, what about the prize you owe yourself? You can’t back out of it now, and I sure as hell won’t let you,” she warned. “A divalicious babe like you has got to be treated really well.”
Raina laughed at the description of herself. Fancy being called divalicious! But, come to think about it, she felt a hell of a lot better than she did a year ago. It wasn’t very often she felt this way about herself.
“I’m so freakin’ proud…but, I couldn’t have done it alone.” Raina looked at her friend with obvious affection. “You were such a great help in getting me on the road to a healthy lifestyle, a healthy, new me.” Thinking about how much Jayce had been there for her during those times she needed her most had her all choked up. “Every step of the way.”
Because Raina was unsure about how to break the news to Jayce, she paused for a moment and rubbed the back of her neck.
“But…umm…I said all that stuff in jest.” Raina rubbed her hands down the length of her exercise shorts. “I can’t seriously go through with that idea.”
“Why the hell not?” Jayce planted her hands on her hips.
Raina’s refused to make eye contact with Jayce. “Are you crazy?”
“The last time I checked, I wasn’t certifiable…duh!”
“Are you telling me that when I said all that shit, you thought I meant it?”
“Of course, I did.”
“Well, I didn’t.”
“I knew you would chicken out,” Jayce announced deviously and waved her smart phone in front of her friend. “For that reason, I decided to do this for you.”
Raina’s eyes widened in astonishment, and yeah, Jayce’s grin was definitely evil.
“Caleb chipped in too, you know,” Jayce all but purred.
“Oh. My. God. You got your boss involved in my love life?”
“Don’t worry, girlfriend, it’s our treat. You deserve the best, and Caleb and I are making sure you get it.”
Raina felt as if a wrecking ball was hitting against her head. Her butt hit the bench with a plop. It was a good thing no one else was in the locker room.
“How could you, Jayce?” She covered her face with her hands. “I don’t want to open myself to humiliation ever again.”
She slouched her shoulders in defeat.
Jayce looked at her for several minutes.
“I’ll be right back, okay?”
A few minutes later, Jayce returned. In a smooth, graceful motion, she crouched down in front of Raina. She handed her a glass of water and a pill, and waited while Raina tossed the pill into her mouth and swallowed with difficulty. She welcomed a few sips of water.
“Look at me,”
When Raina refused to comply, Jayce nudged her chin so they were looking directly at each other.
“You’re beautiful Raina. You’re only twenty-eight years old and have your whole life ahead of you. Don’t you think you deserve some happiness? You’ve given Terrell, the womanizing oaf, too much power, for too damn long. You need a fresh start. Dammit, Raina, you’ve got to live.” Jayce hugged her.
“I know you’re right,” Raina sniffled. “I need to get over him already.” Her smile was weak. “I still can’t believe you took me seriously. I was only fooling around when I told you I’d let you set me up on a date if I achieved my weight loss goal for this quarter.”
“I’m not completely unselfish, you know,” Jayce said mysteriously. “I wouldn’t mind dating Caleb. I…um…really like him.” Then she said very seriously, “But, this is about you.” Jayce punched Raina lightly on her arm.
“So tell me about him.”
“Who?Your date?”
Raina rolled her eyes. “Who else, Miss Smarty-pants?”
Jayce ignored Raina’s sarcasm. “Well, your date is Jordan Cooper, one of the partners of Cooper & Morrow.” When Jayce saw her friend’s eyes widen in alarm, she quickly added, “And before you get any ideas, let me put your mind at rest, Jordan is a really great guy. He’s just very private. Caleb and the staff who’ve been there a long time are tightlipped about what exactly happened to him five years ago. I do know he’s changed. I’ve only been at the firm a year now, but from what I’ve seen, he’s pretty cool. Just a bit sad sometimes.”
Raina’s eyes widened. “And you think he’s good for me because…”
“Because, I know all he needs is the right person to make him realize things are not as bad as they seem. It’s time for both of you to let go of the pain.”
“You’re scaring me, Jayce. What terrible thing happened? Did he go postal? Is he an ex-convict? A reformed sex addict?”
Raina racked her brain, trying to remember if there was anything Jayce may have told her about her boss, but her mind drew a blank. Apparently, Jayce was very serious about the confidentiality cl
ause in her contract with the firm.
“No! Nothing like that,” Jayce said hastily. “But, I think he should tell you for himself.”
“You’re not making me feel any better, Jayce. I’m feeling like this date is not a good idea at all.
“Jordan’s safe, okay? If you don’t believe me, just Google him.” Jayce gave Raina a reassuring pat on the shoulder.
“I will do just that. I don’t want to be another victim making the news headlines.”
“Didn’t I just tell you to trust me?”
“Oh, yeah? The last time I trusted you I lost fifty bucks.”
Jayce rolled her eyes. “Don’t remind me. Rumor had it that particular horse was a sure thing.”
“Well, that sure thing came last in the race.”
Jayce blocked her ears with her opened palms. “Can you stop trying to change the subject?” Then she grew serious. “I promise you, Raina, you and Jordan will have a good time.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
Chapter Two
Jayce and I just finished making the arrangements. Is six this evening fine with you?
Jordan re-read the text message he had received just a little while ago from Caleb.
“Well, that was quick!” he mumbled.
It was only around midday that Jordan had succumbed to the temptation to call his meddlesome cousin and let him know he’d go on the date. When he called him, he’d clenched his fist, just waiting for Caleb to mess up and snicker, or make some kind of smartass comment. Surprisingly, Caleb restrained himself, so Jordan had no excuse to change his mind about going. He’d decided to just go on the date, so he could to prove to Caleb it made no sense for him to get back in the dating scene. No sense at all. But hours had passed, enough time for him to think more logically. There was nothing to lose by going on this date. It wasn’t as if he’d never gone on a blind date before.
Hell, it’s time for me to get my act together. Maybe Caleb is right. Maybe I’ve lived with this guilt for far too long.
Yes, intellectually he knew it wasn’t his fault things went wrong when he and Shannen boarded the flight headed for Trinidad. After all, he wasn’t able to control the upper level trough lingering over the eastern Caribbean, which created extremely unstable weather conditions. And he wasn’t able to control the fact that the flight was not cancelled before take-off. But, that didn’t make things easier for him. Even five years after the incident, he wished he’d died too. At least then he wouldn’t have had to live with the crippling guilt, which crept up on him when he least expected it. Or, worse yet, live the rest of his life all alone. He wouldn’t have to take the long way home, so he could avoid driving by Shannen’s parents’ home. The place, which was a constant reminder of their loss, his loss. Their home should have been filled with visiting grandkids, injecting love and laughter in their lives, but instead their daughter was gone, and the promise of future generations gone with her… and it was his fault.
Jordan glanced at Caleb’s text message again and clicked Reply.
Yep, that’s just fine. It didn’t take very long for him to receive Caleb’s brief response.
Perfect. Dinner and an overnight stay at Romano Beach Resort.
Wow, Caleb was serious. The man had pulled out all the stops for this blind date. For the first time, Jordan felt guilty about how he’d behaved for the last five years. Caleb put up with his shit, both at home and at work, and he hardly ever complained. Jordan’s conscience pricked him, so he promised himself he’d work really hard to make it up to Caleb. But, first things first, and that was going through with his date. Yes, tonight, for the first time in a long time, he’d let himself go. He’d try to forget for a few hours that Shannen wasn’t in his life any more, and he wasn’t the same man he was five years ago. He would try to forget that he wasn’t a whole man anymore.
Caleb was right, it was time for him to move on. It was quite some time since he’d enjoyed female companionship, other than his relatives and a few close friends. Damn. Jordan couldn’t even remember the last time he had sex. Since losing Shannen, he just went through the motions of living and the two or three times he’d been intimate with a woman were because he had felt some affection for them. Perhaps it was a bout of low self-esteem or intuition, but he suspected one of the women in particular, had felt more sympathy for him, because of his particular situation, than attraction. The good thing was, no one got hurt as a result of the encounters. The truth was, sex was never something he took lightly. In fact, he was very selective about the women he’d decided to bed in the past. And then he’d met Shannen, the love of his life, who was everything he had wanted and needed. Hardly any wonder he’d felt in the very depths of his being, she was the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. But, it was not meant to be.
Fate is such a cruel bastard.
Maybe he would enjoy himself more than he expected on his blind date. Who knew what could happen on a night like this? And when the date was over, he would go back to the numb existence he deserved. Alone.
* * * *
This is definitely a piece of heaven on earth. Raina slowly swiveled around the room, surveying her opulent surroundings. It was Suite 315 to be exact. It was the first time she’d gotten the opportunity to take a look at her room since arriving at Romano Beach Resort a few hours before. When she had first arrived, it seemed as if the waves called to her. So after checking in, she quickly dashed into the souvenir shop and purchased a modest one-piece bathing suit and dove into the water. For once in her life she was not self-conscious, because she saw so many people of all shapes and sizes having the time of their lives. It wasn’t surprising, she barely made it for her appointment with the masseuse. It was her first total body massage and boy did she feel relaxed. Raina sent silent thanks to Jayce and her boss, Caleb.
The way her suite looked had her at a loss for words. The first thing she noticed when she entered was the eastern side of the room. There was a king-sized bed, framed by an oversized wooden headboard, which served to add to the grandeur and elegance of the room. An abstract painting, in bold colors, set the wall apart from the other rooms in the suite. The draperies were already opened, which allowed the natural light of the sinking sun to gently flood the room. But, the most compelling features of the room were the wide assortment of freshly cut flowers adorning the room, and the rose petals and paper heart cutouts scattered along the carpeted floor and the king-sized bed.
Raina inhaled deeply as she derived olfactory pleasure in the variety of scents, coconut, jasmine and vanilla invading the room and serving to calm her frayed nerves. Transfixed with what greeted her, she mechanically placed her key card and handbag on the side table and followed the trail of rose petals and paper heart cutouts, which led to the bathroom.
Wow!
The bathroom was the epitome of opulence. The round bathtub was large enough to seat at least six people. Raina imagined the whirlpool jets would make bath time extra special, and she envisioned herself spending hours relaxing there. The mirrored walls reflected the fading daylight filtering through the skylights, which were situated over the bathtub. Limestone floor tiles served to keep the ambience tantalizingly serene. Raina believed a bathroom should be the place where she could revivify herself, from her head right down to her aching feet, especially after a long day teaching her class of preschoolers. A place where she could forget about lesson plans and runny noses. A place where the warm, sudsy water caressed her skin and made her forget, for just a moment, she really and truly longed for male hands to caress her body. Not just any male hands, but the hands of a man willing to care very deeply for her. If only she could find such a man.
Oh, well, it’s just wishful thinking. Raina laughed ruefully at the thought.
A quick glance at her watch assured her she had one hour before she met her date.
“Wonder if it’s enough time to take a bath in this little piece of paradise,” she whispered. She looked at the bathtub wistfull
y.
Oh, hell! I can’t help myself. Raina quickly turned on the jets, went to the cabinet and selected some bath salts and poured a generous portion in the bathtub. Her feet were light as she skittered around to light one scented candle after another. After stripping off her clothes, she studied her image in the mirror. Terrell would laugh till he shit his pants if he knew I was here. He’d say I was so desperate I had to resort to bribing my friends to get a man to date me.
Raina shook her head. Why had she stayed with Terrell for so long? How she wished her rattletrap hadn’t decided to shut down in the middle of the road on that particular day! Now, she’d give anything to have that day back again. This time, she would’ve been driving the brand new car her father said he was willing to buy for her, because the wreck she drove was illegal in all fifty states. Then she wouldn’t have met Terrell, who had seemed to be quite the gentleman, willing to assist the damsel in distress. She wouldn’t have had to live through the heartache and shame.
Raina bit her bottom lip. What if she’d stayed with him? Goodness gracious! She would’ve been a mere shadow of herself. She thanked the gods for giving her the strength to walk away, to move on, when she did.
Deliberately, she drew in and then slowly released her breath. “You’ve got this, Raina. There’s no need to dwell on the past.” Gingerly, she stepped down and luxuriated in her evening soak.
* * * *
Jordan cast a thoughtful gaze at the imposing yet elegant structure known as Romano Beach Resort. It nestled between verdant green grass and bright yellow flowers. Although he was no expert, he could tell these flowers were pretty unusual and he’d never seen any quite like them before. For a brief moment, he closed his eyes and envisioned the way the white sand beach would beckon tourists to sunbathe or build castles. In his imagination, he saw the many winged creatures plucking their food from the ocean depths. He tried to visualize himself having some time there as well, but it was difficult to do so. He hadn’t taken a vacation in five years. He spent all his time concentrating on work, so he didn’t have to remember the tragedy of his past.