by Amy Lamont
But then what? He was only home for a few weeks before he returned to Afghanistan. He wasn’t based in New York even when he was stateside. What more could I expect than a one-night stand?
And telling everyone what happened could cause ripples of tension with the people we loved. At best it could make things awkward. At worst Katelyn would be royally pissed at her brother if she thought for a second he’d used me for a one-night stand. I didn’t want that for my friends, and I certainly didn’t want to mar the short time Logan had to be at home.
I scooted back from him, and once more allowed my eyes to drink him in, from his war-hardened face down to his chest, left bare by the sheet he’d pulled up to our waists sometime during the night.
In the light of day, I could see what I’d only felt last night—scars. My fingers had lingered over the puckered skin of his shoulder blade last night. And now I confronted a trio of scars slashed across his chest, wicked but completely healed.
Tears stung my eyes. I didn’t even want to imagine what Logan, the sweet, fun-loving boy who had been so much a part of my childhood, had been through that left his body scarred.
I couldn’t hold back from trailing my fingers over his cheek and temple, stroking over his close-cropped hair. Judging by a few of his reactions yesterday and last night, I’d guess that some of the scars he carried were more than skin deep.
Part of me wished I was the one who could help him heal those parts of him. But even if he let me in, I just couldn’t see how things would work between Logan and I.
I closed my eyes and pulled in a deep breath, memorizing the feeling of his hard body against mine and the scent of his skin, a mixture of sun and sand and something that was just him.
When I opened my eyes, he continued to sleep and I knew it was time for me to go. I wiggled out of his hold carefully, doing my best not to disturb his slumber as I eased off the bed.
I gathered the pieces of my bathing suit and slipped them on. I allowed myself one more brief moment to stand beside him and look down at him, knowing this was the only chance I’d have to let the feelings that seemed to burst from me the minute I laid eyes on him last night show.
I tugged the sheet up over him and tiptoed to the door, slipping out into the hallway as quietly as possible.
I needed to get to my room and shower before anyone else started to stir.
Walking from one room in my house to another might constitute the weirdest walk of shame ever. I let go of the doorknob and turned…and ran right into a hard chest.
Tilting my chin, I glanced up to see who belonged to the chest and found myself staring into Will’s eyes.
Oh, crap.
“Morning.” I offered him a tentative smile.
His eyes moved from me to the door I’d just walked out of before he gave me a confused smile. “Fall asleep in your bathing suit?”
“Uh,” I looked down at my bikini and sarong, wrinkling my nose, “yeah, I guess I did.”
He grinned down at me. “Sorry we never got a chance to connect last night. Every time I looked for you, someone else seemed to need your attention.”
I nodded. “Yeah.”
Yup, that's me. Stunning conversationalist. Guess standing in the hall next to my almost-hookup after leaving the bed of my actual hookup left me a little tongue-tied.
His grin widened to a smile, amusement dancing behind his eyes. Damn, he was cute. Too bad I couldn’t seem to drum up even half the attraction for him that I had for Logan. No matter how hard I’d tried to manufacture it last night.
And in a stunning flash of insight, I knew it had been no accident I hadn’t found my way back to Will last night. As I wandered through the party, I hadn’t really given him a whole heck of a lot of thought. My mind—and my gaze—returned to Logan over and over again.
Suddenly, what happened between Logan and I last night seemed inevitable. Fated from the second my eyes landed on him when he walked out onto the deck yesterday. The truth was, no matter how much I wished it were different since Logan was way off limits, Will never really had a chance with me.
I bit my lip and looked up at him. “I really am sorry.”
“No problem. New day, new opportunities.”
Nope, no, no more opportunities. Time to let Will down easy. “Um, yeah. I think I need a shower and caffeine before I think about what this day might have in store for me.”
He laughed. “Well, I won’t hold you up if you want to hit the showers. I was going in search of the caffeine myself.”
Will moved aside and gestured back to the door I’d just walked out of.
I pulled my eyebrows together, confused, and tipped my head to the side.
“Your shower?”
I stared at him a long moment before the light dawned, and his next words confirmed my suspicions.
“If I knew you were right across the hall from me last night, I would have knocked,” he said.
I opened my mouth and shut it again. My mind fumbled around for a way to say what I needed to say that wouldn’t sound horrible to the guy I spent a good amount of time flirting with just yesterday. I came up empty.
“Um, that’s...it’s not my room. My room’s down the next hall.” I cringed internally.
Now it was his turn to look confused. But the look didn’t last long. Realization dawned in his eyes and he took a giant step back from me at the same time. “I see.”
I had nothing to say to that. I was quite sure he did see. All kinds of stuff I’d rather he didn’t. I offered him a grim smile. “I, um, am going to go.” I pointed down the hall. “Shower, I mean. I’m going to go get that shower.”
He nodded without saying a word and I turned on my heel and all but ran to my room.
I flung open the door and resisted the urge to slam it behind me. No need to wake everyone else up.
I sank back against it and let out a long, loud breath. My gaze drifted over to the clock on the nightstand. Just slightly past eight in the morning and I was already ready for a nap.
I straightened and thought about how I was going to get through the rest of the day.
What did I do on other mornings after one of my parties? Mornings when I hadn’t woken up naked next to Logan Murphy or engaged in awkward chitchat with a rock star?
I took things one step at a time and did my best to be a good hostess to the friends that spent the night while I nursed a hangover. That’s what I always did.
So that’s what I’d do today. I’d take it one step at a time and get through the morning until the moment I could wave good-bye to Will and Logan.
And I’d do my best to ignore the fact that it wasn’t any other morning after. It was the morning after I fell hard for my best friend’s brother.
I took a deep breath and put one foot in front of the other and pointed myself toward the bathroom. I could do this.
My resolve lasted less than two minutes. In the shower, I discovered awkward conversations with rock stars, secret one-night stands, and hangovers were the least of my problems.
Last night I’d had sex with Logan Murphy. Unprotected sex with Logan Murphy.
Never in my life had I had unprotected sex. Even when I was a little tipsy with long-term boyfriends, I insisted on condoms. No glove, no love. I might as well have had it tattooed on my ass.
One night with Logan and all my good sense and rules for dating and loyalty to my friends had gone out the window.
I hadn’t really thought about it until I stepped into my bathroom. I had ninety-eight other things on my mind. But when I stripped off my bathing suit, I found evidence of my night with Logan and everything else paled in comparison.
Shit, shit, shit. Fuck, fuck, fuck. What was I going to do?
I had a minor panic attack standing naked in the middle of my en suite bathroom. For goodness sake, I hadn’t wanted my friends to get a tiny hint about what happened between Logan and I. But babies were kind of hard to hide.
I did mental gymnastics trying to figure out whe
n my period was due. Math wasn’t my best subject even when I wasn’t in the middle of freaking out, but I thought I was good. Close, but the timing was just a little off. I thought we were safe. I wouldn’t stop worrying until the day my period arrived, though.
For a few minutes, I did nothing but stand under the stinging heat of the shower spray. I turned my face up under it, hoping the soothing heat would help me calm down.
So despite my earlier decision to just let the whole thing with Logan go, it looked like we’d need to have a conversation at some point today. An uncomfortable one involving safe sex, past partners, and sexual health screenings. And potential babies.
That sounded like fun. Not.
I took a deep, shuddering breath. No reason to panic over what would probably turn out to be nothing. He and I would have an adult conversation. And if things were weird between us for a bit, well, actions had consequences.
I’d get through today. Hell, the good news was I didn’t really see much of Logan these days anyway. It would be easy enough to avoid him.
But for some reason, my heart didn’t quite get the memo that this was good news.
I lathered shampoo into my hair. Time to pull up my big girl panties.
And if the wetness on my face wasn’t entirely due to the shower? Well, nobody but me and the showerhead needed to know.
Chapter 7
I tiptoed into the kitchen where my friends and the motley assortment of guests had started to assemble. Halfway in I realized I was trying to sneak past everyone and gave a mental eye roll. No matter what happened last night, I was the hostess of this shindig. Hiding and skulking were probably not going to get me Martha Stewart’s seal of approval.
Not to mention, hiding and skulking? So not my usual approach to life.
My gaze traveled the room. Friends, friends of friends, and possibly a couple of Sliding Violet groupies lounged all over. Looked like the caterer had done her drop off already. Part of the tradition, I always had brunch brought in for the morning after.
The kitchen in my parents’ beach house was sprawling. In the center, a marble-topped island went on for miles with stools all around. Beyond that was a large oval table that sat eight people comfortably. A good number of the stools and chairs were occupied by bleary-eyed, party-goers nursing coffee cups and the occasional mimosa or Bloody Mary.
Just a step away from the table, a family room grew out from the kitchen. The television was tuned to some sports channel and the ginormous, oversized sectional was chock full of yet more morning after revelers slouched, draped, and prone.
Everyone seemed to have found their way to the buffet set up in the dining room, though I don’t know how they could stomach eggs, pastries and breakfast meats this early. Coffee and maybe a little hair of the dog in the form of a mimosa were about the only things my stomach would consider at the moment.
I waved to the gathered masses and wandered over to the coffee urn on the counter, filling a mug to the rim with a steaming hot dark roast. I put my face over it and inhaled deeply. Heaven.
I turned to the sideboard to grab a mimosa, until one thought stopped me in my tracks—baby.
Oh, crap. The slight possibility of a pregnancy had a unique effect. On one hand, the need for alcohol to numb my stark terror at the thought of being pregnant was more tempting than almost anything. Ever.
On the other hand, a weird protectiveness surged through me. On the off chance I had a baby on board, I needed to take the best possible care of the hypothetical little bean.
Geez. I suddenly had new respect for every woman who’d ever birthed a child. I was t-minus four hours into the mere possibility, and I was already making sacrifices.
Before I could give it too much more of my brainpower, my gaze landed on Logan. My body immediately reacted to him. My mouth went dry and my pulse picked up speed. Every nerve ending stood at attention and images of moving together on white sheets in the dark last night flashed in my mind.
He stood in the corner of the room, staring out the sliders toward the beach. He might just be admiring the view, but something about his posture set my spidey senses tingling. He looked so solitary, so alone. His presence struck me the same way it had when I spotted him yesterday.
He wasn’t the same Logan I grew up with. That Logan was the life of the party. He’d have been in the middle of the room, entertaining the masses and working hard to get the party started all over again.
This Logan was so different. Older, for sure. But it was more than just maturity brought by time that marked him. There was a stillness about him. His ability to be so alone in the middle of a room filled with people made my heart feel bruised.
I fought the urge to go to him. To soothe him. I reminded myself I wanted to play it cool with him today. I didn’t want my friends to catch on that anything happened between us, especially Katelyn. Thank goodness, Emma, Kate, and Paige and their men hadn’t made it down in time to catch me ogling him.
I snatched my gaze from Logan and tried to turn my attention to my other guests, calling good mornings to everyone as I searched for a place to hunker down and nurse the slight headache I had going on.
But seeing a brunette, the same one he’d been chatting with yesterday, sidling up behind Logan made all my good intentions fly out the window. I made a beeline toward him, determined to make it to his side before she did.
“Logan,” the other woman called before she got to him. Now he stood in profile to me, his dark gorgeousness stealing a little of my breath.
He stared at the woman as she bore down on him and a smile decidedly lacking in warmth curved his lips.
“Hey, Deidre.”
The fact that he knew her name caused a rippling twist of possessiveness to curl through me. But then she reached out and touched him. Nothing too obvious or too intimate. She just placed her hand lightly on his forearm.
If I hadn’t been staring straight at him, I would have missed it. The instant her hand made contact with his bare skin, he flinched. It was small and brief, but there. And if I had to describe his expression, I’d have to say he was doing his best to hide a grimace behind an implacable facade.
I pulled my eyebrows together and watched for a few more seconds.
“I missed you last night.” Deidre’s hand moved up and down along his arm and I narrowed my eyes.
So much for staying indifferent toward him. I held back a sigh. I had about twenty thousand emotions tangled up inside me and all of them directed at Logan. It was hard to decipher one from the other for the most part, considering my old affection mingled with this new attraction. But that spike of pure jealousy at seeing him so close to another woman would be hard to miss.
Logan pulled away from her and relief poured through me. He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck, a gesture of discomfort so familiar, it made me grin. Logan was definitely not into this Deidre person.
But before I could get too happy over it, I noticed lots of other small things. His blank face remained firmly in place, but his jaw clenched almost imperceptibly. His shoulders were tense, almost rigid. And with each tiny move forward she made, he made a corresponding move backward.
I’d noticed yesterday that Logan overreacted when I startled him, but it didn’t take more than a second to tease him into our usual banter. Or in the case of what happened last night, something else entirely. He’d seemed to settle back to himself fairly quickly.
But watching Logan with Deidre, a niggle of something scratched in the back of my mind. He didn’t seem capable of relaxing. If anything, judging by how he got stiffer by the second, this woman’s presence made Logan uneasy.
I’d been too tipsy and too wrapped up in Will and trying to avoid Logan last night to notice anything off about his behavior. But there was no denying something was decidedly off now.
That did it. Sex or no sex. Inappropriate feelings for my best friend’s brother or not. I couldn’t stand here and do nothing when Logan seemed distressed.
I close
d the distance between us and nudged him with my shoulder. “Hey, I’ve been looking for you.”
He looked down at me and I was gratified to see the tension around his jaw ease while relief and something else mingled behind his eyes.
“Hey.” His voice was discernibly softer when he spoke to me than it had been when he greeted the other woman and his eyes held mine, two blue lasers that seemed to want to look right inside me.
I swallowed hard and could do no more than stare until a throat clearing next to us caught my attention. I turned my head to see the brunette glowering at me, her hands on her hips. Funny how the jealousy I’d experienced moments ago disappeared as soon as I got close to Logan and had his attention fixed on me. Didn’t hurt that instead of flinching, he seemed to be easing closer to me. The heat of his body against my side made me feel warm in ways that had nothing to do with the temperature in the room.
“Who are you?” Deidre’s voice held an edge.
Logan didn’t miss her tone. His head whipped around and his eyes narrowed on her. “Jade, this is Deidre. Deidre, I didn’t realize you hadn’t met Jade yet.”
Deidre’s smirking smile made her distaste for me clear. “And why would I have met her before?”
Ugh. What a snot.
I opened my mouth to clear a few things up for Miss Deidre. But Logan was faster.
“I assumed you were one of Jade’s guests when I met you yesterday. But if that were the case, you would know that she’s the person who owns this house. The one whose hospitality you’ve been helping yourself to, and whose home I’m assuming you stayed in last night. But if you don’t know Jade, then I’m going to have to ask you to explain your presence here.”
He crossed his arms over his very wide chest and stared down his nose at her with an expression so scary if I didn’t know Logan so well, I might have been tempted to pee my pants.
Everything about him screamed dangerous soldier in that instant. Deidre’s mouth dropped open, all the snot going right out of her as she looked at me with her eyes wide.
Was it wrong that my panties got a little damp at the sight of Logan standing up for me?