“Vivian, I know you think I’m wrong about this, and maybe I am. It shook me up. You said last night that you’re scared about us. I get that. But I trust you. I thought I knew you pretty well, and I figured even if we found out some things about each other that were surprises, well, we’d deal. Isn’t that what people who love each other do? But right now, I’m just . . . rattled, I guess. I feel like I was blindsided by this situation that was happening while I didn’t have a clue.”
I nodded. “I understand.”
“I need some time. I just . . . I need to think about this somewhere on my own. I need to calm down and figure everything out.”
I tried not to sniffle. “Okay. Will you . . . will you call me once you make up your mind?”
“Yeah.” He stared at his hands on the wheel. “I’ll be in touch.”
Reaching into the backseat, I pulled out my overnight bag. “Then I guess I’ll hear from you when you figure stuff out. But while you’re thinking all this over, remember one thing. You told me you fell in love with who I am on the inside. You said you liked my laughter and my passion. Well, this is part of what you like about me. If I can’t be who you want me to be and keep being myself, then we have nothing. You have to appreciate the whole Vivian package. I’m not saying I’m perfect, but I’m pretty fucking amazing, at least some of the time.”
I grappled blindly for the door latch and stumbled out of the car, slamming the door behind me as I walked into the house without looking back.
That night, I did two things.
I texted Kyle and asked if we could move up our coffee date to the next morning. I didn’t want to blow him off via text; over the past months, I’d become more sensitive about how I dealt with the opposite sex. I would’ve been hurt by someone cancelling a date I’d been anticipating without having the decency to do it in person, so I wasn’t going to be the one who’d do that.
And then, once I’d set up the meeting time, I sat down and polished off an entire bottle of Captain Jack’s Rum with Aunt Gail.
We both got sloppily drunk and railed about men, relationships and love. We cried together, and we laughed together. She pulled out an old photo album and showed me pictures of Rick, her lover, from their early days together. I started crying again when I saw the two of them together, arms around each other, both of them fully aware that they had no future.
“It’s so sad, Aunt Gail,” I sobbed. “How do you keep going? I would’ve climbed into bed and never gotten out. But you kept living. You’ve made a life. You’re one of the most positive, upbeat people I know.”
“Viv, honey, I don’t know.” She was sniffling now, too, tears running down her cheeks. “God, I loved him so much. We packed so much into the few years we had together. But in the end, we didn’t belong to each other. I would’ve given just about anything to make that different, but the one thing I wouldn’t give up was myself. I knew I had to be able to live with my own decisions.” She took another gulp of her mojito. “But God, Vivian. Self-respect and dignity are wonderful things, but they don’t keep your bed warm at night.” She gripped my hands. “Be very, very sure about what you do with Charlie. He’s such a great guy. You’re a strong woman, and I’m proud of you—I’m so fucking proud of you—but I want more for you than what I have. Don’t run away.”
“But what if I don’t have a choice?” I glanced out the window. I could just barely make out the outlines of Grampy and Charlie’s house across the adjacent lawns. I wondered what he was doing right now. “What if he decides he can’t trust me? What if he runs away from me?”
Aunt Gail took a deep breath. “Then you keep trying. You keep talking, and you keep working on it. And if in the end, there’s nothing else left to do, you get up and you live your life the best way you can, without him. But don’t shut out love. Don’t give up. I’m a crazy optimist, honey—I do think you can have your article and the career it’s going to give you, and you can have the love of your life, too.” She took my hand. “This is just a bump in the road. Hold on tight, because it’s always going to be a rough ride. But don’t give up.”
“I hope you’re right.” I slumped in my chair. “Because I don’t think I have the energy to kiss fifty frogs after all, Aunt Gail.”
“Fifty?” She tilted her head. “Maybe I was wrong. Maybe it was five. You have to kiss five frogs. That seems more reasonable, doesn’t it?” She shook her head. “Oh, these old sayings . . . who knows what they meant originally.”
“Five?” I smiled for the first time since early that morning. “Aunt Gail . . . Charlie was my fifth frog. I mean, if we’re counting him as a frog. He would’ve been number five.”
Her eyes widened. “It’s a sign. I knew it, Viv. He’s the one.”
“I don’t know if I believe in signs.” I was beginning to slur. The rum was catching up with us.
“Then just look at it as . . . shit, Viv, I can’t remember what I was going to say. Fucking rum.” She giggled. “But don’t let him go. Don’t give up. Don’t ever give up.”
I WOKE UP THE NEXT morning with a killer headache, a horribly dry mouth . . . and no message from Charlie. My heart sank as I looked at my phone and saw the lack of new texts or voicemails.
Aunt Gail was sitting at the kitchen table as I dragged myself to the coffee pot. She raised bleary eyes to me. “Oh, my God, Viv. Listen. You need to make this right with Charlie and settle down. I’m too old to be drinking rum all night and crying over men.”
“You and me both, sister.” I dragged out a chair. “Aunt Gail . . . thanks for being here for me. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you these last few months. I love you.”
“Oh, Viv.” She reached over with a shaking arm and hugged me to her side. “I love you, too, honey. You and Shelby are the daughters I always wanted. I’m so glad I could be in your life.”
I took a sip of the black coffee and shuddered. “I have to get my shit together and go meet Kyle. Nothing like a hangover and letting a guy down easy to make for a fun Sunday, huh?”
Aunt Gail sighed. “Get through it. And keep your chin up. I just know Charlie’s going to do the right thing. I have faith in him.”
I was glad she had faith, because just now, mine was at a low point. I managed to pull on jeans, a T-shirt and a pair of sandals before I headed to the coffee shop to meet Kyle.
He was already there when I pushed through the door. I watched as he stood up, a smile on his face, and then I saw the smile fade a little. I understood why; getting dressed had been the limit of my abilities that morning. I didn’t have on any makeup, and my hair was piled on the top of my head in a sloppy bun. He was probably wondering what had happened to the girl from Mr. Edguardo’s and who this hot mess was.
“Hey, Kyle.” I pulled out a chair and sat down across from him. “Thanks for meeting me this morning.”
“Uh . . . sure.” He managed a smile. “Can I get you anything? A breakfast sandwich or a coffee?”
“No, thanks.” I put my hand to my stomach, feeling more than a little green. “Sorry. I overdid it on the rum last night, and I’m paying this morning.”
“Oh. I see.” He nodded, but of course, he was utterly clueless.
“Listen, Kyle.” I leaned forward. “I wanted to meet you this morning, because I wanted to be a nice person. You’ve been so sweet whenever you come in to drop off Bella, and I appreciate you asking me out. Really, I do. The thing is, Kyle, I’m not . . . we’re not right for each other. We wouldn’t make each other happy. As a matter of fact, I have a hunch that I’d make you miserable. And it would be wrong to date each other just because it’s convenient.”
He frowned. “Convenient?”
I waved my hand. I was confusing the issues here, probably thanks to the lingering effects of the demon rum. “Never mind. That’s not really about you. I said I’d go out with you back when I was still dating frogs, but the truth is, I’ve found the man I want to be with for the rest of my life. I love him. I didn’t know I was going to
love him when I said I’d go out with you, but the thing is, I do. So, I’m sorry, but I can’t go out with you.”
The more I talked, the more clarity began to seep into my mind. I did love Charlie. I was totally, head-over-heels completely in love with him. And fuck it all if I was going to let that get away.
“Frogs?” Kyle sounded bewildered. “I’m sorry . . . I’m not following you. How much rum did you have this morning?”
“It wasn’t this morning. It was last night.” I shrugged. “You seem like a really nice guy, Kyle. I bet you’re going to make some woman really deliriously happy. But that woman isn’t me. On the other hand, if I’ve learned anything over the last few months, you do seem like a decent guy, but you might be into group sex, or you might be a furry. Who can say? The point is, I appreciate your interest, but I’m already involved with someone else.” I stood up, and this time, I was pretty sure I didn’t sway at all. Holding out my hand, I added, “It was good talking with you. I’ll see you the next time you bring in Bella. Oh, hey, you know, you should get to know Holly. She’s a groomer at Mr. Edguardo’s, and she’s a really nice person. You two might get along.”
Kyle took my hand, shook it and then let it go, his expression still perplexed and confused. “Okay, I’ll keep that in mind. Uh, Vivian, are you okay to drive?”
I grinned. “Absolutely. I only live around the corner anyway, but I know right where I’m going. I’m going to tell the man I love that no frogs are going to come between us.”
As I climbed back into my car, I remembered a line from an old eighties movie that my mom used to watch all the time when I was growing up.
When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
I totally understood that right now for the first time. My hand shook a little as I put the car into gear and backed out of the parking spot, but this time, it was anticipation, not the hangover. With special care and attention, I maneuvered my way back to our neighborhood. I pulled into Aunt Gail’s driveway, but I didn’t go inside the house. Instead, I walked around the corner and up Grampy’s front walk.
After I knocked at the door, I began to have second thoughts. Reality and doubt intruded. Charlie’s sister Natalie was still here, visiting. What if they were in the middle of a big family breakfast, and here I came barging in? What if Charlie had gone away somewhere to think, and I had to explain to Natalie and Grampy why I didn’t know where he was? What if Charlie had told Natalie and Grampy everything, and they thought I was a horrid person? What if—
“Vivian?”
I had been so preoccupied with my what ifs that I hadn’t heard the door open. Charlie stood there, looking down at me, a faintly amused expression on his face.
I crossed my arms over my chest. “Are you and Grampy and Natalie in the middle of a big family breakfast?”
He frowned. “No. Nat took Grampy to brunch downtown at some fancy place she wanted to try.”
“Oh.” I cocked my head. “But you didn’t go.”
“No.” He shrugged. “I didn’t go.”
I swallowed, cleared my throat and took a deep breath. Everything I’d scripted in my head over the past fifteen minutes had flown out of my mind as I stood in front of the man I loved. I opened my mouth, not sure what I was going to say, but the words came tumbling out anyway.
“The thing is, Charlie, I love you. I’m deep in love with you. I know you’re pissed about the whole frogs thing, and I understand that I should have been honest about the article earlier. Please accept my apology about that. If you really feel strongly about it, and you don’t want me to write it, I won’t. You’re more important to me than any piece I could write. But I hope you won’t feel that way. I hope you’ll understand that it’s just a story, while you are my life. You’re my real life, my forever life. You’re not a frog . . . or maybe you are, but if you are, you’re my fifth frog, and that means you’re my final frog. My prince. The one I’ve been waiting for.
“But whether or not I write the stupid article, I’m not kissing any more frogs. I’m done with kissing anyone but you, Charlie Mitford. You’re the only man I want to kiss for the rest of my days. So I really hope you decide you want to kiss me, because otherwise, I’ll live my life without kissing anyone ever, and that would be—”
“That would be a fucking crime.” Charlie reached for my hand, pulled me against his body and held me with one arm, while the other cupped my face. “Because your kisses are magical, Vivian. They’re filled with the kind of power that makes a guy like me fall in love with you. They turn a simple frog into a prince.” He bent his head, and then his mouth was against mine, and he was kissing me.
The world spun, the stars fell and fireworks went off, even though it was only ten-thirty in the morning. Everything else in the universe disappeared, because Charlie was kissing me like he was never going to stop, and that was all I wanted for the rest of time.
When he let me up to take a breath, I blinked, gazing into his eyes. “I know you said you needed time.”
“I was an idiot. I don’t need any time. I know what I want. I know who I need.” His fingers traced the outline of my lips.
“I saw Kyle this morning and told him that I wasn’t interested because I was desperately in love with the most wonderful man in the world.”
Charlie smiled and kissed me again. “Smart girl. The most desperate man in the world is wonderfully in love with you.”
“I drank too much rum last night with Aunt Gail.”
“Ah.” He touched my nose. “Is that why there was loud music coming from your house at two in the morning?”
I knit my forehead together, trying to remember. “Um, I think that was when Aunt Gail decided we needed to dance to Prince in order to feel better.”
“Hmmm. Did it help?”
I shrugged. “Not so much. Maybe a little. Let’s Go Crazy is a great song.”
“True. Vivian . . .” He drew me inside. “Listen. I was wrong to get all over you about the article. You didn’t do anything wrong, and I understand why you didn’t tell me right away. I want you to write it. I want you to knock it out of the fucking park, and go national, and be famous . . . because you deserve it. And I want to be the man who’s at your side when you tell all your frog stories.”
“Really?” My eyes filled up again, and I wrapped my arms around Charlie’s waist. “You’re going to be the inspiration for so many women, when they hear that you’re the reward I got for kissing all those frogs. You’re going to give them hope that there are a few good men still out there.”
“I don’t know about that . . . but if I have my way, babe, you’ll never kiss another frog again.” His eyes lit up. “Hey, wait here a minute. I got something for you.”
“For me?” I followed him as he strode down the hall, darting into his bedroom. “What is it?”
He came back out, holding a small white box. “Yesterday after I left you, I felt like the biggest asshole in the world. It didn’t take me long to realize that I’d been stupid. I talked to Nat and Grampy, and they said I was a fool. Natalie said I had to grovel to get you back, and Grampy said I should buy you a gift. I decided to do both, just in case.”
I opened the box and burst out laughing. “Oh, my God. Where did you find this?”
Charlie grinned. “A little jewelry shop downtown. When I saw it, I knew it was fate.”
I lifted the delicate silver bracelet of frogs out of the box. “Can you help me put it on?”
“Sure.” He fastened the bracelet on my wrist before lifting my hand to kiss the palm.
“It’s beautiful.” I held it up to the light. “I love it.”
Charlie slid his fingers into my hair and kissed me. “Not as much as I love you.”
I lay my head on his chest. “I promise that these are the only frogs that will touch me again. Ever.”
“You know what they say.” He smiled, dropping light kisses onto my cheek, my
forehead and my lips. “You have to kiss a lot of frogs . . . to write a successful article.”
I sighed. “But to find true love, you only have to kiss the boy next door.”
SO THAT’S MY STORY. THAT’S how I kissed some frogs—not fifty, but at least five—and found the man I’m going to kiss for the rest of my life.
You probably already know what happened next. I wrote the article, and National Press Incorporated loved it. It ran first on the Sunbeam website, and then it went national. I spent a lot of time traveling to New York, to appear on morning talk shows and be interviewed by columnists and radio broadcasters.
It turned out that there are a lot of women out there who are kissing frogs, and they’re all gratified to know that they’re not alone. I get tons of letters and emails and Facebook messages from women who thank me for sharing my stories and tell me their own. As a matter of fact, I got so much response that now I have a column that appears in the Sunbeam and is syndicated into other magazines and websites, too.
It’s called . . . wait for it . . . Fifty Frogs.
I write some of my own stories, but mostly these days, I write my friends’ stories. I share anecdotes my readers send in. I commiserate, and I sympathize . . .but I also offer hope, because I know things can get better. I live that reality every single day.
Charlie and I are still living in Florida. He bought the property for his landscaping company, and it’s everything he ever dreamed it would be. We both love it. He has beehives and experimental plants, and he offers tours and school trips. Some nights, we go for long walks on the land, talking about our days and our dreams.
We live in a sweet little house not far from the business. Grampy’s well enough now that he doesn’t need anyone staying with him, but he comes to dinner with us at least once a week. So does Aunt Gail, whose latest play was a huge smash—and who has a new boyfriend. He’s an artist, and they like each other tremendously. I’m glad that she doesn’t have to be lonely. Oh, and her next project is in development; it’s based on my columns, so we’re working together. We’re having a blast.
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