Holy holy shit. I’m ready to say yes to whatever he asks. Move in. Marry him and have a dozen kids. Whatever. I let out a breath as my mouth falls open. I blink several times and finally snap out of the tight web his words have spun, holding me prisoner. “That works.”
“I’ll say.” Emma is standing at the counter, her leftovers in hand. She smiles at Jake. “Been practicing that a while, have you?”
“Just made it up.”
“Sure, you did.”
Ryan joins her and nods at Jake. “Hey.”
“’Sup.”
They stand there in silence. It’s awkward, like their sharing some secret bromance us girls aren’t privy to. Finally, Emma grabs Ryan’s arm. “Wow. You two can talk each other’s ears off. Come on, Romeo. We have things to do.”
Ryan groans as he sets the tab and cash on the counter. “Not the mall. I said I was sorry.”
“If we’re going to get a place together, I want something better than that shoebox you live in. Let’s see if anything is open at the Lynx.”
“Then we’ll be in the same building,” I mention as Ryan opens the door for Emma.
He gives me a nod. “I have a new job that pays twice what I made at the computer center.” He steals a glance at Jake, who nods and even grins.
What the hell is going on between these two?
“Seriously?” Emma grins. “I was just kidding, but if you think we can swing it, I’m all for it. I love that building.”
He kisses her cheek. “Only the best for you, baby.”
She giggles and they walk out. I can’t stop smiling. Ryan and Emma are going to move in together. As if they couldn’t get any more perfect.
“Where’re the fries?” Jake’s question pops me out of my trance.
I clear my throat and try to sound annoyed. I haven’t forgotten the way he talked to me earlier about the couch. “I said I’d bring them over.”
“I’m not about to make you carry twenty pounds of frozen food across campus.”
“Make dat thirty,” Alfonse cuts in. “I found another bag in da back. You want a ham? It be frozen, but it won’t last da summer. I give it to you at what I paid for it.”
“How about you donate it?” I bring up my hand when Jake starts to protest, stopping him. “You get a tax deduction for the donation since it’s the fire department. That’s better than throwing it out.”
Alfonse nods and grins, showing off his teeth, at least the ones he still has. “Dat makes a lot of sense, Miss Kayla. I have to clean out my freezer when school ends.”
“How about I help you?” Jake offers. “We can work together on what you want to donate and what we should just toss. I’ll be sure you get a receipt for everything.”
Alfonse’s grin widens as he nods again. “You got a good man dere, Miss Kayla. Don’t you let him slip away.”
My heart skips a few beats as I avoid Jake’s gaze. It burns me anyway. “Can we just go?” Jake grabs all three bags of fries. I take one from him and call out behind me when we move from behind the counter. “Thanks, Alfonse. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Be good, Miss Kayla. You treat her nice, Mr. Jake, or you deal with Alfonse.”
“It’s a promise,” he says to Alfonse, but his gaze is riveted to me.
21
[Jake]
The park is close enough to our apartment for us to walk to the movie. The sky is heavy with clouds and will more than likely dump on us at least one point throughout the night, but when you live in Washington State, you expect as much. We rarely have days in a row where it doesn’t rain, let alone weeks. Forget months. It’s the price we pay for going to college on an island in the Pacific Northwest.
Kayla has the blanket wrapped in her arms and stares straight ahead. It’s like she’s in a trance. She hasn’t talked much since we met up at home after her classes to leave for the park. Even as we ate a kickass pizza I made from scratch, she kept her eyes shadowed by her hair, her expression guarded.
My first thought is I did something wrong. Again. So, I ask, “Rough day?”
“No.”
“Everything good?”
“Yep.”
She’s not helping with her single word, single syllable, answers. I blow out a breath and work on my next strategy as we walk in silence. The closer we get, the stronger the smells of the food trucks get. Since it’s already getting dark, most of the vendors under canopies have closed up shop. Even some of the food trucks are closed.
As we approach the park, I spy a giant inflatable screen at the far end of the grass and an impressive number of moviegoers on a sea of blankets spread in front of it. Music floats through the crisp spring air. Once I find a premium spot under a tree—all the best spots are under shelter—I take the blanket and spread it out before setting the backrest pillow I carried right in the middle.
“What are you doing?”
I take a seat and lean on the pillow. “I’m getting comfortable.”
“Where am I supposed to sit?”
“Right here.” I tap the spot in front of me. “You can lean on me.” I meet her cautious gaze, hoping she picks up on what I’m really trying to say. “For everything.”
She folds her arms and tilts her head as she juts out a hip. “What makes you think I don’t want to have you lean on me?”
“Can’t we do both?” I sit up and rest my elbows on my knees. She tilts her head to the other side and studies me. I don’t look away. There’s no way she hasn’t picked up what I mean. She’s too damn smart. To make sure there’s no room for doubt, I jump to my feet and approach, cupping her cheeks in my hands. “You’re shaking.”
“I’m scared,” she whispers against my lips.
“Of what? Of me?”
“Of being with you. Of what it’s doing to me.”
“I know what being with you is doing to me,” I counter gently. “You make me a better man. For you. Because of you. I’m falling for you, Kayla. I’m falling hard.”
“Jake—”
I slant my lips over hers, cutting off her protest. It’s the only thing I know to do to snap her out of her uncertainty. It starts as a kiss to ease her angst, but when she licks my mouth open, it grows into a heated competition for control. I devour her lips. In turn, she devours my soul. I’m powerless to stop it, nor do I want it to stop. She’s already consumed so much of me. Why not let her have it all?
“Looks like we’re in for two shows.” Emma’s comment breaks the connection.
Stepping back, I lick Kayla from my lips as I bounce my gaze between Ryan and his girlfriend. What the hell? Is he stalking me now? I already work with the guy. Our girlfriends are both waitresses at the diner. We don’t need to sit next to each other at the movie.
“Hey,” Ryan greets.
“’Sup.” I nod in response.
“Not this again.” Emma thrusts the blanket into Ryan’s hands. “You two are terrible conversationalists. Where’s the wine? Never mind, I found it. Kayla, where’s yours? I’ll open it.”
“I’m not really feeling—”
“Wine, woman.” Emma gives her a look. Without another word, Kayla hands her the bottle we brought. I’ll have to learn that look.
By the time Ryan has their blanket next to ours, a single reading pillow similar to ours in the middle of their setup, Emma has four glasses full of ample pours. Kayla takes two and delivers one to me. I hold it up and wait for her to do the same. Once she does, I tap them together and steal a kiss. “Are you ready to relax?”
“I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready.”
Her comment bothers me. I have to find some why for her to let her hair down. “Tell you what. Just for tonight, let’s pretend there’s nothing past midnight. Tomorrow, we no longer exist.”
“That’s kind of morbid, don’t you think?”
I really need to work the words through in my head before saying them out loud. “I’m saying we live like there’s no tomorrow.”
“Better.” When she smil
es, I smile. “Still doesn’t help me relax, but I appreciate you trying.”
“Kayla, come on.”
Her smile widens. “Now who’s too tense?” This time, she steals a kiss and leaves me wanting more.
“What was that for?”
“To say I’m sorry for being so bitchy these past few days. I can’t get out of my own head. I’ve worked myself into a panic over this business case. What if I screw up and the firehouse ends up on the chopping block for not taking any of my recommendations?”
“Not possible.” God, I hope. That would mean this past year working my ass off to get on with the department was a complete waste of time. Being with TREX helps pay the bills, but I don’t want to be a fulltime field agent. That may suit the generation before me, but I have a life and want to live it before settling into my role of TREX Agent Jake Swanson. I want to be plain old Jake Swanson for a little while longer. That requires a job outside the covert agency.
“First off,” I continue, hoping to convince us both. “You’re cutting expenses, not creating new ones. Second, the cap doesn’t have to do any of the stuff you recommend. The firehouse isn’t in any danger of closing whether we cut expenses or not. This is a school project, not life or death. There’s no risk.”
“Without risk, there’s no reward.” Her eyes widen as if she’s just recited something revolutionary. I’m pretty sure that’s on motivational posters in every office across the country. She looks at me and lets out a short breath. “That’s it.”
“What’s it?”
“I need to take risks.”
“I could have told you that.” She’s just now realizing that?
She giggles, the sound warming my blood. She then shouts into the air. “I need to take risks!”
“Or no reward.” I play along, not really sure where she’s going with this, but it’s better than the silent treatment from earlier, so I go with it.
“No reward.” She nods, like whatever the hell she’s saying makes perfect sense. I’m lost. “That’s why I’m struggling with this. I don’t want to take any risks. The captain took a risk by hiring me. I need to take risks on my delivery. That’s it. Thank you!” She kisses me soundly. I still have no idea what’s going on, but I like the way she thanks me for it.
The movie starts and everyone cheers as they all jump to their feet. The entire park is dancing along to the footwork during the opening credits. We laugh and drink, trying not to spill our wine as we mimic the steps. It’s a lot harder than it looks.
Once the credits finish, the crowds settles. I take the moment to refill our wineglasses as Ryan refills theirs. We exchange glances and grin like a couple of idiots. Without a word, we return to our blankets. I lean against the pillow and pull Kayla to me. She gets comfortable and leans her head on my chest. The scent of her shampoo invades my senses and tickles my nose. It’s like spicy vanilla. Leaning in, I inhale deeply as I kiss the top of her head.
It turns out movies in the park are nothing more than excuses for the moviegoers to act out the entire script. As the movie opens and the preacher is preaching away, several around us recite every word, some of them doing a better job than the actor playing the role. I love this movie, but I don’t know it word-for-word. Neither does Kayla, so we look at each other awkwardly and shrug before taking long pulls from our wine.
That’s when we catch Emma playing the role of the preacher’s daughter while Ryan laughs. It’s a side of the scary ginger waitress I’ve never seen.
By the time it’s to the tractor scene, we’re out of wine. Ryan and I snag each other’s attention and both hold up empty bottles. Damn it. So much for stealing some of theirs. Maybe one of the food trucks serves drinks. Just as I shift to stand, my phone buzzes. I check the number and frown. I hate blocked IDs. More than likely, it’s TREX, so I peel away from Kayla.
“Where are you going?”
“I’m going to see if any of these food trucks serve wine.”
“I’ll go with you.” Ryan jumps to his feet and holds up his phone as he catches my eye. Yep, definitely TREX.
We slip behind the giant tree and both answer our phones. “Swanson.”
“Ryan.”
“Are you with your partner?” It’s Jackson.
I face Ryan. “Yes.”
“Becoming quite chummy, aren’t we?”
Dick. “What can I do for you?”
“Wait.” Ryan loses his color. “You want me to what?”
“Time for your next assignment,” Jackson states. “It’s a bit of a role-reversal for you and Ryan.”
I glance at him. He’s now stuttering as he paces and thrusts his hand through his hair. “I heard you the first time. I’m just having a hard time processing it.”
Processing what? “Jackson, what’s going on?”
“We need you both in Seattle.”
“When?” Please don’t say within the next two weeks.
“This weekend.”
“I have finals.”
“And we have a secret society to bring down,” he counters.
“The Order?” I ask as Ryan asks the same. We catch each other’s attention and way too much passes between us. He’s anxious. I’m annoyed. He’s eager to know more. I’m eager to get back to the movie. Clearly we have different levels of interest in this call.
“There’s a function this weekend at the Edgewater in Seattle. We need you there to gather intel.”
Jackson’s order pulls me back to the conversation. “You want me to gather intel?”
“While Ryan goes in. It’s invitation only. Stuart Ryan received an invite. His son can go in his place.”
“What about Vic Greene? Did he get one?”
He laughs. “That would be a hard no. The Order knows Greene is the head of the agency. They don’t like anything to do with TREX.”
I square my shoulders as Ryan’s spine grows rigid. He holds my gaze. I hold his. He opens and closes his mouth several times, so I jump in, conveying what he wants to say. “Ryan gathers the intel, not me.”
“Not this time.”
If I’m gathering the intel, that means… “You’re sending Ryan into the field?”
“Holy shit,” Ryan mutters and loses more of his color. “I’m not ready. No, I’m really not. I wish I had that same level of confidence.”
“TREX thinks he’s ready,” Jackson explains.
I turn from Ryan and lower my voice. “You don’t think so?”
“I don’t think he’s you.”
Obviously. That’s not necessarily a bad thing—except maybe when you send him in on a field assignment he’s not ready for. “Meaning?”
“He’s not a natural at this. You are. You have instincts. You read the situation and adapt. Ryan doesn’t. If he can’t look it up on a computer, the kid is lost.”
“Why send him into the field then? You can override this, can’t you? You’re the SAC on this, damn it.”
“Not anymore. Snyder showed up and assumed the role.”
“The assistant director?” My guts twist. What the hell were they doing sending in rookies on a mission that warranted the attention of an assistant director of the agency? And why am I so worked up about this?
I know why. I can handle the stress. The pressure of a last-minute assignment. Hell, I chose a profession where I rush into burning buildings for a living. I got this.
It’s my partner who’s at risk. Without risk, there’s no reward. Well, shit. Just when I think there’s no likeliness between my girl and my partner, I go and blow that all to hell with a single, simple statement.
“Make it work,” Jackson tells me, like it’s that easy. “Report in at 0700 for the briefing.”
“Sir, I don’t think… Hello? Jackson?” The son of a bitch hung up on me. I turn to Ryan, who’s now lost all his color and is sweating. Concern replaces my annoyance. “Are you okay?”
“No.” He releases a shaky breath. “I can’t…I’m not ready…I just can’t.”
�
�Easy, man.” I hold him by the shoulders. He’s trembling. “What’s the assignment exactly?” And why put you into the field instead of me?
“You make it look so easy. I’m not you!”
“Ryan. Dude. Talk to me.” I can’t help but see the parallel in the way I’m handling him the way I handle Kayla. Clearly, they both tend to work themselves into near panic attacks. Insulting Ryan on the mat earned me a lecture from him and unsolicited advice from Bailey. Insulting Kayla would have ended with me earning a black eye. Based on the look in Ryan’s hard expression, if I so much as use the wrong tone right now, he’ll completely lose his shit. “What’s going on? What’d they say?”
“They’re sending me in.”
Shit. I can’t believe this is happening. I’m the field agent. He’s the intel. That’s the deal. I risk my life while he stays in the van. He’s not ready. Hell, I’m not even ready. I recite the same words that seemed to work for Kayla. “Without risk, there’s no reward.”
He blinks for several seconds as that sinks in. He then nods. “You’re right. I’ll never get close enough to take down the Order if I don’t take risks.”
Holy hell. That worked?
“How do we explain this to the girls?”
I shrug and pull the douche card. I hate to do it—I’d rather burn the bastard card than fall back into my douchy ways—but it’s what I know and right now, it’s what we need. “We don’t tell them anything. It’s not like we’re married. Hell, we’re not even a thing.”
“I am,” he fires back, a burn in his eyes that causes me hesitation. He’s got the start of a great intimidating look going. If he perfects it, he may just stand a chance in the field. Granted he can do it by Saturday.
I can’t let my concern for him cloud my focus. He needs to keep his focus as well. Worried about what Emma will think every time he’s out on assignment isn’t helping. Am I worried what Kayla will think? Yes. Am I going to let it get in the way of my job? No. It’s a lesson I need to teach Ryan.
“We need to get back.” I take a step away from the tree.
Ryan stops me. “We said we were going for wine.”
“No, we said we’d check to see if any of the food trucks served wine. They don’t.”
The Heat Is On (TREX Rookies Book 2) Page 19