“The doctor said I’m lucky.”
He has no idea. I’ve seen too many accidents where the rider wasn’t. “I rode in the ambulance with Emma. She was pretty pissed they wouldn’t let her see you.”
His eyes shine and he blinks, sending a tear streaming down his cheek. “Emma. She’s something else.”
“That, she is.”
We sit in silence as Ryan clearly struggles with his emotions. He’s smiling, yet his eyes are swollen, both with tears and impact damage. Finally, he speaks up. “I’m sorry.”
“For what, buddy?”
“For me. The way I’ve been acting. This thing with my dad, and now my mom…” He trails off and squeezes his eyes shut. I rest my hand on his arm, giving him all the time he needs, letting him know I’m here when he’s ready. Finally, he opens his eyes. “How am I going to explain any of this to my family? I don’t want it to be the reason my dad gives up.”
“You don’t say anything. You can’t.” I recall something Bailey said in one of our trainings. “What happens in TREX stays in TREX. It’s all classified.”
Instead of that making him feel better, the look of pain and something else I can’t read twists his expression.
“Sorry. I was only trying to help.”
“It’s not that.” His eyes swell once again. “Can I tell you something? TREX to TREX?”
“Of course.” I move closer to the bed.
“I saw that car run the stop sign. I knew the driver didn’t even see it. Emma screamed. She screamed, Jake. I’ll never get the sound of how scared she was out of my head.” He swallows and blows out a breath as more emotions spill over. “I turned the Vespa right before that car hit us.”
That explains why his injuries were more severe than Emma’s. My chest pinches as reality hits me. Jesus Christ. He really has no idea how lucky he is. “You turned in to the car? That could have killed you, going head-on like that.” Once again, I question whether he wanted to hurt himself. “Ryan, you didn’t do that on purpose, did you?”
He nods, and my worst fear is realized. Before I jump too far into that conclusion, he clarifies. “I had to. She could have been hurt a lot worse. Don’t you get it? Emma slammed into me instead of the car. Even if the impact would have broken every bone in my body, I would have done the same thing.”
“You turned in to the car to take the hit so she wouldn’t have to?”
He nods and closes his eyes, like admitting what he did took everything out of him.
My respect for Ryan skyrockets. He’s a good man and one I will strive to be like for the rest of my days. Every goddamn day. Maybe if I save someone else’s life, it’ll make up for losing Chuck. It’ll make up for all the shit my old man did to hurt my mom. To hurt me. “Does Emma know?”
“No, and I don’t want her to know. I just had to tell someone. You can’t say anything. I told you TREX to TREX. What happens in TREX stays in TREX.”
That’s not even close to the same thing, but I nod anyway. I’m not about to betray his trust. “It’s not like she and I are exactly BFFs.”
“I’m okay with that.”
“Hey!” I gently smack his arm.
He laughs. “I hope you don’t think this is weird, and it’s probably the drugs they have pumping into me, but I’m really glad you’re here. I think of you as a friend, Jake. A very good friend.”
“Yeah, that’s weird. A couple weeks ago we hated each other.”
He grins. “Figured it was the drugs.”
“Funny how a couple missions together changes everything.”
“I’m glad we got stuck with each other.”
“Me too, buddy.” I squeeze his arm.
“When can I see Emma?”
“Let me check. You stay put.”
“Yeah, okay.” He laughs and winces. I cross the ER as I process what Ryan just told me. He didn’t hesitate to risk his life for the woman he loves. Not only that, but he doesn’t want her to know. It doesn’t get any more heroic than that in my book. My partner is something else.
I open the curtain to Emma’s station. She spots me and bursts into tears. “Jake!” She holds open her arms and jerks me to her. For someone who’s just been in an accident, strapped to a board, and rushed to the hospital, she’s freakishly strong. “They won’t tell me anything. They won’t even tell me where he is. Where is he?”
“He’s fine. I just talked to him.”
“He is? Oh my God.” She breaks and sobs hard as she continues to hold me. I don’t fight it and embrace her. She squeezes me so tight I can’t breathe as she cries harder. Still, I don’t release my hold until she does. “Where is he? Tell me right now. I need to see him.”
“You should probably wait for the doctor to release you.”
Britt smacks the back of my head. “Tell her right the fuck now, dipshit.”
I glare over my shoulder. “I know it’s not in your nature, but could you try to not be a psycho bitch for like five minutes?”
She drops her jaw and steps back. I feel bad, but right now isn’t about how I feel. It isn’t about Britt at all. It’s about Emma and Ryan, and celebrating the fact they’ll both recover from what could have been the worst day of one or both of their lives.
26
{Kayla}
I grab the OJ out of the fridge and pour another glass as I debate how to broach the subject. Jake mentioned Ryan being his partner. In what? Something’s going on between them, something Emma is in on. I’ve heard words like mission, op, and agency dropped a few times. The guys act like brothers when a month ago they didn’t even know each other. At the park, they both got calls at the same time and walked away together to take them. What were they caught up in?
I want to know in the worst way.
“Jake, how long have you known Ryan?” I casually sip my OJ and watch him over the top of the glass.
He’s sitting at the kitchen table watching a video on his phone and doesn’t look up when he answers. “About a month, I think. Why?”
“You two seem pretty good friends.”
“We’re all right.”
“He’s not exactly the type you hang with.” All Jake’s friends are complete tools like him. Well, like he used to be. “You surround yourself with guys just like you.”
“Ryan is leagues above the rest of my friends. He’s a good guy who’s been dealt a shit hand.”
“How?”
He pauses the video and sets the phone down. “Why all the questions about Ryan?”
“You called him your partner back at the hospital.”
He loses his expression and stiffens. “I did?”
Busted. Something is going on, something they’re both involved in. “You did.”
“Shit,” he mutters and shakes his head. “I was out of my mind that day. I didn’t know what I was saying.”
“What about at the park when you two both disappeared at the same time?”
“I already told you. We were looking for a food truck that served wine.”
I join him at the table and give him the best I already know look I can conjure up. “You both had to suddenly go to Seattle Saturday and even shared an Uber to and from the ferry.”
Again, he stiffens. “How’d you know about that?”
“Emma told me at work Sunday. Apparently, Ryan was really upset when he came home and wouldn’t talk to her about it, so she asked me if you said anything.” I finish my OJ and push away the empty glass. “You told me you were visiting your mom. Why would you lie to me? What are you two up to?”
“Goddamn her.” He blows out a breath and stares at the ceiling. “Emma shouldn’t have said anything.”
“Don’t blame her for this. It’s your lie.” When he remains stubbornly silent, I continue to push. “Who did you two go see in Seattle?”
“Kayla, please don’t ask.”
Now I’m irritated. I hate liars, especially ones so damn convincing. “I’m asking. If we’re going to be more than roommates with bene
fits, I deserve the truth.”
He blinks several times, taking in the meaning behind my statement. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”
“I think I am.” God, I hope I’m not making a mistake here. I’ve had a couple days to think about it and one life-changing experience to drive it home. The horror of almost losing Emma and Ryan in that accident put things into perspective. Life is too short to live in fear. It’s too short to hold out for the guy who’ll get me my white picket fence.
Jake is here, and he’s real. He may not be able to build me a castle in the sky, but he makes me happy. He makes me crazy, but makes me happy more. Even if we end up in a cardboard box, at least we’ll be together. “No, I know I am. Let’s do this—whatever this is.”
Slowly, he grins. Then his grin widens as he laughs. “You want to be my girlfriend?”
“Yes.” I like the title. I really like the title. “But only if you’re willing to be honest with me.”
To my surprise, he nods. “You’re right. It’s time you know about my other job.” He dials a number and puts it on speaker. Other job? What the what?
“Hey, Jake.” It’s Ryan. He sounds so much stronger than he did at the hospital. “What’s up?”
“Kayla knows.”
“Knows what?” His tone changes and is now hesitant, sharp. I’ve never heard him sound like this before.
“About TREX.”
“Oh,” he sighs in relief before his edgy tone is back. “Wait. She knows about TREX?”
Jake holds my gaze. “She’s about to.”
“Dude, no. Jackson had me crawling through the gravel for hours when he found out I told Emma. I’m still cleaning dirt out of places.”
“Over-sharing, buddy.” He shakes his head and grins.
“All I’m saying is you’ll get smoked for sure. She doesn’t need to know about TREX.”
“I’m not the one who just told her.”
“Wait. What? Am I on speaker? Is Kayla there with you? Did you just trick me into… You asshole. I’ll make sure you get smoked for this.”
“Hi, Ryan.” I practically sing to cover my guilt. “Please don’t be mad.”
“Hi, Kayla. It’s not you I’m mad at. Jake, I’m going to kick your ass for this.”
“You’ll have to catch me.” He laughs. “With all your broken parts? I’ve got some time before you can even walk. Besides, there’s no way you’ll be smoked for this or anything else right now. You’ve got a ‘get out of jail free’ card.”
To my shock, Ryan laughs. “Yeah, all I had to do is get hit by a car.”
“Among other things.”
The two guys fall silent. After several seconds, Ryan responds with, “Yeah.”
He sounds so sad. I study Jake, waiting for an explanation. He shakes his head for me to drop it. I do but plan to press him for answers after the call. “How are you feeling, Ryan?”
“I’ve been better, I’m not going to lie. But I’m still here.” He pauses and Emma’s singing echoes in the background. It’s a tune I recognize. Alfonse sings it every morning. Ryan chuckles. “I’m pretty damn lucky.”
“Yeah, you are. Take care, buddy. I’ll see you soon.” Jake ends the call and regards me. “Now you know.”
“Actually, now I’m even more confused. What’s TREX?”
“Tactical Retrieval Experts.”
I work through the words. “You find things?”
“We find awesome things.” He grins like an idiot. “It’s a covert agency with all these cool gadgets. I wore these glasses that have a little camera in the frame that transmits to a monitor in a pair of sunglasses. How cool is that?”
“That’s pretty cool.” I’m not buying it. My boyfriend is a spy? No way. Jake Swanson may be many things. Great kisser. Amazing in bed. But he’s no secret agent. “When are you going to tell me what you’re really up to?”
“It’s the truth.”
I stand and reach for my glass. “Look, if you can’t be honest with me, this is never going to work.” Disappointment laces my even tone. I should have never gotten my hopes up. I need get out of here before he sees how badly I want to believe him and how badly his lies hurt.
“Kayla, it’s the truth.” He takes my hand before I can retreat with my glass. “I swear.”
“I’m sure you do.”
“Fine. I know a way to convince you.” He dials another number and holds my gaze until a woman answers.
“This had better be good, Swanson. I’m in the middle of the best foot rub of my life.”
He rolls his eyes. “Hey, Meg. I need your help.”
Meg? Who the hell is Meg? An ex? I frown and open my mouth to ask, but he places his finger over my lips to stop me. I concede and stand there, listening.
“What is it this time? And if it’s to go under as an escort to toy with another one of our marks, I’m out. I couldn’t take enough showers to get that guy’s touch off me.”
What the hell? My mouth falls open. What kind of agency is this? Escorts? Marks? Is he some sort of pimp? I shake my head and back away from the table. I don’t want to hear any more.
“Meg, you’re on speaker.”
“Now you tell me. Who’s there with you?”
“My girlfriend.”
“Aw,” she sings. “Hi, girlfriend.”
I don’t know if I like her or not. It’s her tone, a mix between patronizing and sympathy that has my guard up. “Hi.” It comes out as a question.
“Why’d you call me, Jake? And why am I on speaker with your girlfriend? Wait, did she find out about the mission? Look, girlfriend. It was just a cover. He really didn’t pay me to be his date for the night.”
“What?” I can’t believe this. I must be the butt-end of some sort of cruel joke. No way can any of this be real.
“Oh,” she whispers and pauses. “I take it that’s not why you’re calling.”
“No,” Jake growls. “But thanks for pissing her off.”
“Announce your objective next time, cadet. You never put an agent on speaker without warning her, first. They are going to tear you up at Gahanna.”
I can’t process what’s happening. Is she in on the joke? This really is a joke, isn’t it? “Jake, what is this?”
“Meg, Kayla doesn’t believe me about TREX.”
“You told her about TREX?” She sounds even more pissed than Ryan at the news.
“Well, my partner did.” He shrugs when I shoot him with a glare. Ryan only admitted to the agency when Jake tricked him into it.
“You two are dangerous together. It’s like dumb and dumber, but armed with the nation’s top secrets. Don’t they tell you the rules in that internship program? The first rule of TREX is you don’t talk about TREX. It’s a covert agency for a reason, dumbass.”
“Meg, please.”
She huffs. “Fine, but I’m calling David after this. He needs to know she knows so he can take the necessary precautions.”
Necessary precautions? What’s that even mean? When I look at Jake, he explains. “David Snyder is one of the assistant directors at TREX. He’s also the SAC—that’s Special Agent in Charge—of the find Ryan and I are in the middle of. That’s where we were Saturday night, on a mission to gather intel.”
“Enough detail, cadet. She knows about TREX now. That’s where it ends. If you fill her in on the details of your finds, it could put her in danger.”
I gasp and cover my mouth as I retreat another step. Now I’m in danger? This is all too much. How’d I go from a future life of mediocrity with a paper-pushing husband to being with a spy whose secret life puts me at risk?
Without risk, there’s no reward.
My inner-voice can shut the hell up. This risk isn’t worth it, no matter the reward. If I break up with him, will he have to kill me? What happens to the exes of these TREX agents? Are they collateral damage?
“Meg, I gotta go. Kayla’s about to lose her shit.”
I’m about to lose a lot more than that. Ja
ke ends the call and stands. When he opens his mouth to speak, I hold up my hand. He’s not allowed to say a word, not until I finish giving him every one of mine. There’s so much I want to say. I don’t even know where to start.
“Please, baby. Let me explain.”
I’m still to shocked to speak, so I nod for him to go first.
“TREX approached me right after spring break and offered me a paid internship. That’s how I’ve been paying for things. I barely had enough financial aid to cover tuition. It didn’t pay for all the books, so I had to sit next to someone who had a book, just to try and keep up. TREX bought all my books and now has Ryan tutoring me so I pass my classes.”
I wish he’d said something about not having enough for books. I don’t have a lot in savings, but I would have drained my account to cover his books. “What about what you get from the fire department?”
“They don’t pay the cadets. If TREX hadn’t come along when they did, I would have been couch-surfing instead of living next to you when you started that fire.”
I shudder to think what could have happened had he not been there to save us from ourselves. “That doesn’t explain why you’ve been keeping this from me.”
“When was I supposed to tell you? We’ve been together a month, Kayla. Actually, less than a month. It’s not like there’s ever a good time to drop a bomb like this. You heard Ryan. You heard Meg. I’m going to get my ass smoked for saying anything, but I don’t care. I want you to know everything about me. That includes my life as a TREX cadet.”
I want to be pissed. I want to hate him. But he’s right. This isn’t something you just drop on someone. I’ve seen movies where spies have lived together and never knew they were married to the enemy. Sure, they’re only movies, but if there are so many of them, there must be some sort of basis for them.
I’m done being mad at him for things out of his control. I have plenty of things to get angry over that are well within his control. I play with my glass. “Does this mean you’re giving up on the fire department?”
“No way. I plan on getting that position. TREX will be there when I get over rushing into burning buildings. Trust me. Being a TREX agent isn’t as dangerous as Meg makes it sound. The senior agents are a hell of a lot scarier than any of the missions we go on.”
The Heat Is On (TREX Rookies Book 2) Page 24