“I’ll make sure I leave early.” And as he spoke the words he hoped and prayed that everything would come together so that could happen.
Then Ella gave him a concerned look and he thought of a comment she had made. How blessed he was to have children. How she had wanted them but her husband hadn’t.
He weighed his options and as he looked at his kids he realized Ella was right. Every time he attended another meeting he felt like he was abandoning his kids.
Is it worth it? All the running around?
The questions chased each other around his head as he remembered the fun he had yesterday with the kids. With Ella.
And the thought of spending another beautiful spring afternoon in a windowless room arguing with George Walsh and his own guilt depressed him.
Don’t go. Stay home with your kids. You’re not that important to the association.
He also knew it wasn’t fair that he was counting on Ella to take care of his kids. She wasn’t there to be a nanny.
He made a snap decision. George and the rest of the committee would simply have to go on without him today.
“You know what? You guys are right. Let me finish up in the office and we can go plant the garden.”
Susie dropped her paintbrush and threw her hands in the air. “Yay. I’m so excited. Two days we get to spend with my daddy.”
Her celebrating the fact that they could spend two days together wasn’t something he could be proud of.
But that didn’t matter. Today he was here, and today they were spending time together.
“What about our posters?” Paul asked.
“You keep working for now. We can do it after lunch.”
Ella’s smile proved to him that he had made the right choice.
And somehow, receiving her approval, made him feel as good as his children’s excitement.
* * *
“Here you go. Your first gardening job of the day.” Cord handed Ella a stake with some rope tied around it.
Ella looked first at the stake, then at Cord. “What do I do with this?”
“Have you never put in a garden before?” Cord sounded incredulous.
“I’ve spent all my life living in an apartment in the city.” Ella shrugged. “I don’t think my mother so much as planted a flower in a pot.”
Cord laughed at that. “I thought all you artists were always painting flowers and fruits and vegetables and such.”
“We drew them, we never raised them.”
Cord stood above her casting a broad-shouldered shadow as he leaned on his hoe, silhouetted against a bright blue sky. The leaves from the trees lining the garden whispered in the gentle spring breeze. A red-winged blackbird trilled from a creek burbling through the pasture below them. Starlings flew overhead, chasing each other, and higher up in the sky ducks quacked their way toward the pond down the road from the house.
It was a day to capture and hold. The kind of day featured in commercials and feel-good movie trailers.
Suzy was sorting through the packages of seeds deciding in which order they would be planted. Paul was digging holes in the garden, ostensibly for the seed potatoes.
“So you’ve never pulled a carrot from the dirt, wiped it off on your pants and eaten it?”
Ella looked at him, aghast. “That sounds like a recipe for a hundred different diseases.”
“It’s how my brother and I became immune to a hundred different diseases.” Cord chuckled. “So you still haven’t figured out what to do with the rope?”
“Since we’re here in the garden, immersed in the dirt, I’m guessing it has something to do with planting the seeds. And not roping calves.”
This elicited another chuckle from Cord. “What you have to do is unspool the string as you walk to the other side of the garden. Then you hold it tight, and I dig a furrow along the string. Then we plant the seeds. That way the row is nice and even.”
“And here I thought you simply toss the seeds over the ground, like the sower going out to sow the seed.”
“Well, you know how that turned out for him. Some fell on rocky ground, some among the thorns were found, and so on. I prefer to have my plants come up orderly and tidy.”
They shared a laugh. Ella was surprised at how easy she felt around him lately. How comfortable. She knew she had to be careful around him, but the last couple of days were a revelation to her. He was a good, kind man. And in spite of his busy schedule, he genuinely loved his children.
Though she knew men like him existed, after Darren she wasn’t sure where.
“We will do the carrots first.” Susie came running up to them, a smear of dirt across her face. Her pink dress was grimy at the hem, and her fingernails were rimmed with dirt. But she was happier than Ella had seen her since she first came to town.
“We’ll put them in the ground as soon as Ella figures out what she’s supposed to do,” Cord said.
“You have to make a line with the string,” Susie said, frowning at her. “Don’t you know that?”
Ella lifted her eyebrows at Cord. “Thanks to your father, I do now.”
She unspooled the string, and held it tight like she had been told. Cord dug his furrow, and then he ripped open the seed packet and gently tapped the seeds into the ground. Suzy smoothed the dirt over top of them and Paul came behind her, stepping on the dirt to flatten it out.
“If we get enough rain, in a week or so we should see the plants coming up.” Cord straightened, brushing the dirt off his pants. “Then in a couple of months, we can have fresh carrots for supper and Miss Ella can find out how tasty a fresh carrot from the garden can be.” He gave her a crooked smile that held a tiny hint of promise.
Ella held his gaze, then looked away. If things went according to plan she would be gone by then.
The thought gave her a strange feeling.
Yet as she helped move the string to make the next row, watching Cord, Paul and Suzy plant another row of carrots, all working together, she felt a curious sense of loss.
Then she shook her head. This was a time out of time. A little blip on her career path.
This family would carry on with their lives, and she would carry on with hers.
But why did that thought seem so depressing?
Chapter Seven
How priceless is Your unfailing love, O God. People take refuge in the shadow of Your wings. They feast on the abundance of Your house; You give them drink from Your river of delights. For with You is the fountain of life; in Your light we see light.
Ella reread the passage the pastor was preaching on, his words of comfort and the words of the psalm settling into her soul. Refuge. Drink. Fountain of life.
But the words that resonated the deepest were the last few words of the passage.
In Your light we see light.
She thought of the struggle she had to paint. How the thought of delving into darkness again created a sense of dread.
Maybe it’s time to move on?
The thought tantalized. She’d been hanging on to guilt for so long. Living in the shadows for what seemed forever. Painting pictures of darkness had not relieved the sorrow and the anger. Instead, as she looked back now, the feelings only seemed to intensify.
“Darkness can never overcome light,” the preacher was saying. “Even in the darkest night, the stars or moon will diminish it. But we don’t have to think of light as a physical source. Sometimes it comes to us in the people around us. In the moments that we don’t expect. God is light. In Him there is no darkness, as the Bible tells us in First John. And God works through the people around us, as well. Through them often God’s light shines into the dark places of our lives. It heals our wounds. Erases our guilts. Takes away our burdens.”
The pastor’s words were like a stead
y onslaught, each one building on the other.
Ella let them soak into her parched and wounded soul as she sat in the church pew.
God is light.
She closed her eyes as she struggled to accept that. It seemed too easy.
The preacher finished his sermon, and the congregation rose to their feet to sing a song. As the words flashed up on the screen, Ella smiled.
“Jesus, You are light of the world, and You came into our darkest place, shining bright into our lives, You fill our souls with radiant grace.”
The song wasn’t familiar but the words emphasized what the pastor had talked about. As she listened, Ella felt a stillness, a lightness, invade her very being.
In spite of her determination to stay focused on the service, she glanced over at Cord, Suzy and Paul, who were sitting across the aisle from her one pew up. They hadn’t seen her when she slipped into the service. But from where she sat, she could see how Cord put his arm across the children’s shoulders. How he smiled down at them. How they all sang along when the songs came up.
In spite of all his absences, they cared for and loved each other.
The service was winding down and Ella wanted to make a quick exit. She wanted to have a few moments to herself to absorb what she’d heard.
But as she left the sanctuary, someone tapped her shoulder and a familiar voice called her name.
She turned to see Boyce standing in front of her, smiling at her, his brown eyes twinkling. “So, you came again.”
“Yes. I did.” What else could she say to this obvious remark?
“What did you think of the sermon? About darkness and light?”
Ella felt a smile coming on. Subtlety wasn’t one of Boyce’s qualities. “I thought it appropriate.”
“Me too. Had to think of those pictures you used to paint. All dark and everything. Maybe you could think of doing some more butterflies and sunshine.”
Ella simply shrugged, not about to rise to his clumsy bait. “Maybe.”
“So are you coming for lunch?”
“I don’t know—”
“Of course you are. We missed you yesterday. Kids were kind of antsy.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I just needed some time alone. But I’ll be back tomorrow.”
“The posters are looking really good. Suzy is convinced they’re going to win.”
Just as he spoke the little girl’s name, she materialized beside Ella, grabbing her hand. “Here you are,” Suzy proclaimed with a grin. “Are you coming to our place after church?”
“Like grandfather, like grandchild,” Ella murmured, giving Boyce an arch look.
He chuckled as Paul and Cord joined them, as well.
“Miss Ella is coming for lunch,” Suzy announced, swinging Ella’s hand as people flowed past them. “Because we didn’t get to see her yesterday.”
Cord’s eyes met hers and she was about to say no but something in his eyes caught her attention. The same thing she’d been seeing the past few days. And suddenly the thought of being on her own in her little house wasn’t so appealing.
“I think that’s a great idea,” Cord said.
That sealed the deal for her. Paul grasped her other hand and she walked through the large reception area of the church, light spilling in from the overhead windows, a lightness entering her soul.
Then, just as they were heading toward the large double glass doors to get out of church, an older couple stepped through them carrying a toddler.
Ella recognized Oliver the same time that Paul and Suzy did. And her heart sank.
“Grammie! Grampie!” Paul and Suzy released her hands and ran toward the couple. “You brought Oliver back.”
They grabbed their brother’s chubby hands and he grinned at them, babbling something incomprehensible. But then he looked up and leaned away from his grandfather. “Dada, Dada,” he called out, his arms reaching out to Cord.
Cord hurried over and took Oliver from his in-laws, looking surprised.
“Oh, brother,” Ella heard Boyce mutter. “Why are they back so early?”
“Come meet my Grammie and Grampie,” Suzy called out as she rushed back to Ella and Boyce. She grabbed Ella by the hand and before Ella could protest, dragged her over to join the group.
“I’m sorry, we came at such short notice,” Mr. and Mrs. Maher said. “I know we said we would keep Oliver longer but something came up with one of our friends and we had to bring him back early.”
“Of course,” Cord said, holding Oliver who had laid his head against Cord’s shoulder, clearly happy to see his father again.
Ella’s heart pounded and yet she couldn’t look away from the little boy. She swallowed and slowly dragged her attention back to Cord’s in-laws.
“Are you coming for lunch too?” Suzy asked them. “Please say you’ll come. Ella is going to come too. Me and Daddy bought buns and meat and cheese yesterday. For lunch today.”
Boyce muttered, “Not them too.”
Ella was about to shoot him a warning glance when she caught Mrs. Maher’s puzzled look. As if she was trying to figure out how Ella fit in this situation.
“I don’t know if we have time—”
“I think that would be nice.” Mrs. Maher interrupted her husband’s protest, then grinned at Suzy’s exuberance. “We haven’t visited the house in some time.”
“It’s all neat now,” Paul put in, leaning against Cord, his hand twined in Oliver’s. “Miss Ella helped us clean it up. She said it was a shame to see such a beautiful house so messy.”
Ella felt a blush crawling up her neck. “I don’t know if I said that.”
“Well, it was the truth,” Cord added, giving her a smile that seemed to grant her absolution.
“Excellent. Then we shall see you at the house.” Mrs. Maher’s smile seemed forced as she glanced around the group.
Ella guessed she wasn’t too pleased about her being with them all. If Ella was being honest with herself, the thought of spending time with them in their daughter’s house didn’t sit entirely well with her, either.
And there was also Oliver.
As she looked over at him, his head tucked against Cord’s shoulder, he gave her a slow smile that reached into her dark places. And let a little light shine through.
* * *
“So it’s only cold cuts,” Cord said, setting a plate of food on the dining room table, flashing an apologetic grin at his in-laws who were now sitting at the table. “Nothing fancy.”
“It looks fine.” Hope Maher gave him a tight smile.
He was pleased that Boyce had helped put the food together. He knew Ella, who had been visiting awkwardly with his in-laws, would have preferred to help. But he was reluctant to let her.
Not that he didn’t want to be with her. He did. He simply didn’t want his wife’s parents to see a strange woman working in the kitchen that once belonged to their daughter.
At least, not yet.
He glanced over at Ella again only to find her looking back at him, faint lines of tension bracketing her mouth. He gave her an encouraging smile. She returned it but then glanced away.
He presumed her awkwardness had much to do with Lisa’s parents being there and their veiled disapproval of her presence.
Cord sat down between Paul and Oliver in his high chair and across from Ella. “Shall we pray?” he asked, holding his hands out to his children. Suzy, sitting between Paul and Ella grabbed Ella’s hand. Hope looked down, folding her hands on her lap rather than reach for Ella’s.
When he was done blessing the food, Suzy jumped up and passed the rolls around, proud of her accomplishment. Ella complimented her on her work and Suzy beamed.
“So, Ella, I understand that you’re an artist?” Hope was asking. “Have I seen any of you
r paintings?”
“I would be surprised if you have,” Ella said, giving her a polite smile as she wiped her mouth. “Most of my work is featured in my mother’s gallery in Calgary, though I have had showings in the Tamarack Gallery in Edmonton and the Chinook Arch in Calgary.”
“I’ve heard of the Chinook Arch,” Louis Maher chimed in. “They show and sell very cutting-edge work.”
“They have always been willing to take on a variety of artists,” Ella said.
“I don’t get a lot of modern art,” Boyce said with a shake of his head. “So dark and depressing. Life is so good. I think we should celebrate it.”
“I agree,” Hope said with a smile. “We’ve had our sad times, but we have much to be thankful for. God has given us sunshine and nature and children...” Her voice broke and Cord thought she might start crying, but she forced a smile to her face. “Though she’s gone, we can be so thankful for Lisa’s life. She was a real blessing. A faithful daughter, loving mother and wife. So full of life and so involved in the community. I still don’t know how she did it all. You must miss her so much.”
Cord felt torn. Sure he missed Lisa. But he knew that ever since he had met Ella, memories of Lisa had receded even further.
“From time to time I do,” Cord said, though he was uncomfortable with Hope gushing about Lisa in front of Ella. He didn’t want Ella thinking that he was pining for his wife.
“I’m so thankful that you’re willing to keep her memory alive with all the work you’re doing for the association. I know it was a cause dear to her heart,” Hope continued.
“If you ask me, she was too busy with it,” Louis grumbled. “Spent too much time running around for it.”
“Do you think she should have done less?” Cord asked. He’d never heard his father-in-law speak like that before.
Louis looked up at him, his eyes sad. “I think she should have spent more time at home, that’s what I think.” He glanced at Oliver, who was licking the yogurt off his spoon with intense concentration. “Maybe then she would have been around to help raise this little guy.”
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