“Fuck,” he growled. “You make me want to lose myself in you.”
Pressing his hips against her ass, he rocked against her, sliding his cock over her wet sex. One more thrust and he pushed into her body, filling her completely, and then he began to move.
In and out, he stroked her arousal higher and higher, while evidently building his as well. His breaths came faster now, and she could hear his ragged swallow as he fucked her nice and slow.
His fingers dug into the curve of her waist as his thighs trembled against hers. “Dammit. This isn’t supposed to happen.”
No. No. No. She fought her restraints, needing to be eye to eye with him. Make him understand that she wouldn’t let him do this to them.
Arching her back, she grinded her ass into him. “What?” she snapped. “That I might like being bound, whipped and fucked? That you’re not the monster you’ve built in your mind?” She jerked harder against her restraints. This was a helluva position to be in when she wanted to rail at him like a mad woman and maybe even shake some sense into him. If only she could face him, touch him. Her high-pitched outburst began to soften. “That maybe you’re just a man like any other who prefers a little kink with his sex. Clancy, you’re not your father. Now finish this. I need to hold you—kiss you.”
Her words must have triggered something inside him because he made a strangled sound and slammed against her, hard and fast—over and over. He panted and snarled, releasing throaty, desperate sounds more animal than human. Time after time, he stroked a spot so deep within she wanted to scream with pleasure. Rocking into him, she was almost where she needed to be when he withdrew, pushed a finger inside her, and then wedged her ass cheeks apart, spreading her own juices over her anus. As a digit disappeared within, her yip of surprise turned into a long groan. She stiffened, breath eluding her. The ring of muscle burned enough to water her eyes, but made her pussy pulse and get impossibly wetter.
“God. What have I done? I’m sorry. I’ve never done that without proper preparation.”
When he started to remove his finger, she cried, “Don’t. Please, Clancy. I want to feel you inside me.”
“Tess, we shouldn’t be doing this. I’ve had too much to drink. And with you I lose control.”
How could she explain to him that, yes, there was pain, but there was so much more. And she loved the fact that he lost control. She gulped down a breath and started to find the right words, when he stepped away, leaving her feeling empty and speechless.
Kneeling, Clancy unfastened one ankle and then the other. “Tonight I stopped.” As he stood, what if he hadn’t, raced through his tortured mind. Thick emotion clawed so fast up his throat it threatened to choke him. “But what about tomorrow or the night after that? What happens if you anger me and I’m drunk?”
He moved to the head of the table, stopped and unsnapped the manacle around her wrist. God, help him. His heart stuttered. He blinked hard, not wanting to believe the red, angry skin that circled her wrist. The same was true with her other one as he revealed it. Guilt and shame nearly bowled him over. But he managed to keep his footing as he rounded the table and assisted her to a sitting position.
Sliding his palms down her bare arms, he massaged one wrist and then the other. Every time he switched hands he raised it to his lips and kissed the blemished flesh. When she pulled away from him, he flinched, easing a little as she threaded her fingers through his hair.
Guiding his gaze to hers, she spoke softly. “Why can’t you see the man that I do?”
He swallowed, but the knot in his throat remained. “Because you’re only seeing what you want to. There’s something dark in me.”
She frowned.
Then in an unexpected move, she placed her palms on his chest and shoved, hard. “You know what, Clancy Wiseman? You’re full of shit.”
What the hell?
When she jumped off the table, landing on her feet, she scowled at him and gave him another push that sent him stumbling. Before he righted himself, she leaned into him and got right into his face. “Where’s this big scary man you keep hidden?”
She poked a finger into his chest, and damned if it didn’t hurt. But he didn’t make any attempts to stop her.
“Show me this deviant monster I’m supposed to be frightened of?”
Whoa… Where had all this fury come from?
Clancy couldn’t believe what he was seeing, much less the nasty things she was saying. Tess Gilmore, mild-mannered schoolteacher, stood before him like a rattler coiled, preparing to strike. And he was her target.
“Tess, please.”
“Please?” Her breathy laughter held irony as she perched on her toes to get even closer. They were almost nose to nose when she growled, “What? You’ve probably had four or five shots of whiskey before I arrived? Feeling a little tipsy. Maybe you’re even shitfaced.” She snarled, showing perfect white teeth, and then once again gave him a shove.
Dammit. He wished she’d stop that.
“Bet you want to hit me,” she tossed her head from side to side, “slap me around a little.”
“Lord no, Tess.” What he wanted was to reach for her, hold her and kiss away the anger furrowing her forehead and thinning her mouth. “I would never strike you.” Just the thought of striking her made him sick to his stomach.
Cynicism spread across her face. The look of distrust felt like a knife to his heart. Then she slid her tongue between her lips. “You mean that in this emotionally charged moment, you never thought of hitting me, not once?”
“Absolutely not.” He released the air trapped in his lungs. “I would never hurt you.”
She rocked back on her heels. When she raised her hands, he prepared himself to be shoved again or possibly even slapped. Instead she cupped his face in her warm palms.
Her taut expression softened. “Of course you wouldn’t. Because, Clancy, you don’t have it in you to hit a woman or a child. It isn’t who you are. Can’t you see you’re not your father?” Moisture filled her eyes, her chin started to tremble. “You’re so much more.”
When the first tear fell, he hauled her into his arms. “Shhh, darlin’. Don’t cry.” Burying her face against his shoulder, he felt the dampness of her distress on his skin. “Baby, please.”
Then he just held her. Stroked her hair and body, while he mentally wrestled with the last several minutes. Tess had intentionally angered him in an attempt to force him to see the truth. A primal voice inside his head whispered you’re not like him. He released a pent-up breath. Even three sheets to the wind, it hadn’t crossed his muddled mind to lay a hand on her. Hell. He hadn’t even tried to defend himself against her. All he wanted was to take care of her, ease her anger.
A shiver slipped through her and he felt the quiver. “You’re cold.” He briskly rubbed his hands up and down her arms, separating them. “You should get dressed.”
Nose and eyes red and swollen, she tipped her chin up. “I don’t want to get dressed. I want you to warm me.” She leaned into him, their bodies touching. “Take me to your bed, Clancy.”
His pulse leaped. Without overthinking his next move, he scooped her into his arms and made a beeline for his bedroom. Laying her gently on top of his comforter, he worked it down and she scooted upon the sheets. He climbed in beside her and pulled the bedding to their waist, then leaned over and nudged her nose with his, before he lightly pressed his lips to hers.
“I’m sorry about earlier.” A weak smile tugged at her mouth. “But I didn’t know what else to do to make you see yourself the way everyone else does.”
With his fingertips, he brushed a fallen tendril out of her eyes and then grinned. “You were glorious in your fury, especially naked.”
Crossing her arms over her breasts, she giggled. “Kind of hard to take me serious like this.”
“No. Not at all.” He tucked the errant lock of her hair behind her ear. “For a brief moment I thought you planned to kick my ass.”
“I have to admit I di
d think about.” She snaked her arms around his neck. “But I’d rather be doing this.” Pulling him down, she kissed him and then she grew quiet again, while he moved on to nuzzle her neck.
“Clancy?”
“Hmmm?”
“I know you’re going through hell right now, but—”
He tensed, his lips stilling while he waited for her to continue.
“No one can make you believe in yourself. You have to do that on your own. I just want to make it clear that I believe in you.”
He inhaled a deep breath, bringing her scent inside him, allowing it to calm him. “Thank you.” This woman saw so much, she knew him so much better than he’d imagined.
“I really didn’t do anything.”
“Darlin’, you made me realize that I’m not my father. The truth is, I couldn’t do what he had done throughout his life and live with myself. That’s apparent to me now.”
Her full lips curved slightly. “Do you mean it?”
“Yes. I don’t know how I’ll ever repay you for forcing me to see the truth.”
She snuggled closer. “I might have a couple of suggestions.”
“And I’m eager to hear them.” He thrust his firming cock into her side, thankful he hadn’t removed the condom he put on while she lay across his kitchen table.
“Oh my. You are eager.”
Clancy tugged her upright and she threw back her head, laughing. The sweet sound was music to his ears. An unexpected but not unwelcome tenderness welled inside him. That’s when he realized he’d fallen hard for this woman.
“Straddle me.”
When her warm, wet sex cradled him, he grew even harder and more aroused. A slight adjustment of her hips and she took him so deep into her sex he closed his eyes. Pleasure, hot and fierce, surged through his veins and he groaned.
It amazed him how perfectly they fit together. Would a life with her be perfect too?
Then she began to move, setting a slow, sensual pace that stole his breath. Lifting his heavy eyelids, he savored the way her body swayed as she rode him. Thrilled with the way her eyes darkened in arousal. And loved the way her lips parted on a sexy, soft mewl.
When her fingernails dug into his chest and bittersweet pain curled through him, he reached for her and took her mouth with a deep, intimate kiss. A kiss so passionate it engraved her name into his heart.
Hands at her waist, he raised her, withdrew slowly, then drove her down hard on his shaft, pushing deep again.
She screamed, “Clancy” as her eyes closed and her back arched. A full-body shiver rippled through her, along his length.
“Not yet,” he groaned.
But the radiating tingles wouldn’t stop. They teased and threatened to drive him crazy. Grinding his teeth, he fought to hold on, to drag out the moment as long as possible. But it was already too late.
The next spasm of her climax fisted his dick, squeezed and pulled down on his testicles, filling his cock with liquid fire. As he teetered on the point of no return, a throb raced down the inside of his legs to his toes, curling them. His skin tightened. He bucked beneath her and the gates of his control swung open.
“Tess!”
The explosive eruption that surged through him dimmed his vision. Turned him inside out, until breathing didn’t matter and only the magic flowing between them did.
Exhausted and vibrating with tremendous physical and mental satisfaction, he pulled her to him. Their hot bodies were deliciously moist. Their hearts pounded in unison. The scent of sex filling the room was a heady aphrodisiac. When he caught his breath, he planned to take her again, but for now he was happy just to lie quietly beneath her.
“Mmmm…” Her sated sound whispered in his ear.
He smiled. For the first time, Clancy was looking forward to the future. A future he hoped included Tess.
As time went by, the events of the day intruded upon him. “I thought she left me.” He didn’t realize he spoke aloud, until she replied.
“Your mother?”
His throat tightened.
Year after year, her absence, her non-communication, had slowly eaten at him, made him feel as if he wasn’t worthy of love. “I thought she didn’t care. That maybe she couldn’t love me because I was like him.” He had never told a soul about his feelings of abandonment, not even Jessie.
Tess nuzzled his neck. “She was your mother, Clancy. She cared, but…” She didn’t finish her thought, because she didn’t have to.
His father had killed her.
As tension crawled across his skin, he eased from beneath Tess and moved to sit on the edge of the bed, surprised when she crawled behind him, her legs straddled each side of his. Her arms circled his chest. She laid her cheek on his back. Her warmth lending him the support he desperately needed. She held him quietly.
“I should have known.”
“How could you?”
“From the moment she disappeared I’ve had nightmares that he killed her. Subconsciously, I must have known.”
“I think those nightmares have come to an end.”
God. He hoped so.
“I need to get some pictures from the attic for the sheriff. Will you help me?” He didn’t want to face his mother’s memory alone.
“Of course, but later.” Her silky palms smoothed across his skin. Her lips touched his shoulder with soft kisses. “Now come back to bed. Let me make you forget for a little longer.”
And that’s exactly what she did. All. Night. Long.
Chapter Twenty
It took almost a week for Clancy’s mother’s body to be released for burial. Heels sinking into the soft ground, Tess blotted her moist eyes with a tissue as the preacher finished the eulogy. To say the last seven days hadn’t been difficult would be a lie.
Clancy’s quiet strength had shattered the second they stepped into the attic and he gazed upon a large portrait of his mom. Tess had never seen a grown man cry. As she held him, his sorrow had nearly killed her. Somehow she knew that his outburst had been long overdue. Afterwards he confirmed her suspicion. He had never wept for the loss of his parents. He had been too angry with them.
The ruling of murder, blunt-force trauma to the head, at the hands of his father, hadn’t been any easier on Clancy, nor had choosing a cemetery. One thing he was adamant about, his mother wouldn’t spend the rest of eternity buried next to his father.
Yet when it came to funeral arrangements, Clancy had been at loose ends. At his side, Tess helped him, but it hadn’t been easy for her or her siblings. Too much of their own loss had surfaced, making them all feel raw and vulnerable. But she was proud of her brother and sisters. Even now, they surrounded Clancy as one of their own.
Clancy squeezed her hand before he walked away and placed a white rose on the exquisite light orchid casket with silver handles adorned with pink roses. For a moment, he just stood there. A quiver shook his body, and then he turned back and walked into her waiting arms.
From experience she knew the service was an important part of the grieving process, a time to say good-bye—Clancy’s time.
When he raised his head and a weak smile touched his lips, she knew he would be all right. As he stepped beside her, he reached for her hand. Together they watched the light orchid casket drift down and disappear beneath the earth.
The plot he had chosen lay beneath a large pine tree and for a moment she listened to the wind whisper through the branches. An ocean of emerald green spread across acre after acre of land. Large, mature trees aligned the perimeter and were dotted throughout the cemetery. A beautiful and peaceful resting place meant for someone who had been loved very much.
It would take nearly two weeks for the mortuary to install the marble headstone he’d chosen. The matching bench she suggested that would be placed not more than five feet away would be set tomorrow. It was important to have a place to come when the thoughts of a loved one rose.
This time she squeezed his hand. “You okay?”
“I am now. She
’s finally at rest.” He didn’t say any more, because a barrage of people began to approach him.
Something close to panic widened his eyes, but her family closed in around him like bodyguards, allowing only one or two at a time to invade his space. While Wade shook his hand, Jessie pulled Tess into her embrace.
“Thank you for being here for him.” She stepped away from Tess and newfound tears glistened in her eyes. “I told you he was worth it.”
And the woman had been right.
It took nearly an hour for people to say their condolences.
“I can’t believe there are so many people.” He seemed overwhelmed by the amount of compassion coming his way.
“Is it so hard to accept that people care about you—love you, like I do?” The admission tumbled from her mouth before she realized it. When his expression went blank, Tess wished she could take it back, but what was done was done.
His mouth opened, but before he could respond, a woman in her forties stepped up and introduced herself. “I met your mother at the safe house just before her death. All she could talk about was getting back to you—” She swallowed nervously and glanced toward the open grave. “Getting you out of that situation.”
Tess started to step away, give them privacy, but he grabbed her hand and pulled her to his side.
His grip tightened. “Thank you, Ms. White.”
“Call me Ellen.” Then she leaned in to him and gave him a hug. “She loved you very much. Don’t ever doubt that.”
As she released him, Clancy cleared his throat. When he sniffled, Tess knew he struggled with his emotions.
“Ellen, please feel free to join us at Clancy’s house.” Tess moved closer to him. “We’re having a bite to eat.”
“Thank you, but I best be getting home.” She smiled, then turned and walked away.
“You ready to go?” Tess asked.
“Yeah. Let’s get out of here.”
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