by Kim Faulks
“I think that’s best,” I clenched the spoon, stilling the shake. “I’ll be busy with Titus, and God knows this place isn’t the most lavish…there’s no pink here.”
He forced a smile and scanned the dirty olive-green walls. “No, there’s definitely no pink here.”
I smiled and gripped his hand. “I want you to be happy, no matter where that is. I love you, and I know you love me, so it doesn’t matter to me where we are…I’ll always feel that.”
Tears shimmered in his eyes as he looked away. I lifted the spoon to my mouth, swallowed, and tasted nothing. Was this one of those endings? One left to die of natural causes, where we’d see each other on the street and smile and wave, while inside I was dying?
I’d endured that with Redemption…and now it looked like I’d suffer it again. I rose from the stool, unable to sit there a second longer, and grabbed my bowl. “I’ll be fine, Gabriel. No matter what happens, I’ll be fine. So, you do you…and I’ll do me.”
The room seemed to fade as I moved across the kitchen and emptied the soup into the sink. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough as I grabbed a clean pair of socks from the folded pile on the counter. The ends were folded over perfectly, just like every other piece of clothing.
Gabriel took pride in everything he did, from creating a diamond-crusted kitchen in a matter of minutes to washing and folding my clothes.
He was everywhere…in every crevice of my heart and every corner of my mind. I’d loved him forever. Tears welled and then spilled as I yanked on socks and then lower-heeled boots.
Silence was all we had between us now.
Silence and distance.
Chapter Three
Lorn
Yellow headlights cut across the empty hospital parking lot as I pulled in and parked. Black clouds twisted and turned above, rolling in from out of nowhere to gather above me.
I killed the engine and climbed out as the first drop of rain hit the hood with a smack. “Now you come,” I snarled and lifted my gaze to the heavens. “Where the fuck were you before?”
The answer was a rumble, one that sent a shudder through the air, raising the hair on my arms. I shoved the door closed and pressed the button on the remote as one drop became another, and the deluge followed.
Heavy drops smacked my cheek and ran along the ridge of my nose. My steps timed my pulse, ratcheting higher as I raced for the foyer, but by the time I made it to the doors, I was soaked through.
Frigid air swept over me, chilling the drenched sweater against my skin. I shuddered and stepped through the entrance doors, making my way along the front of the hospital toward Intensive Care.
Movement came from the corner. Rival shoved up from the long bank of chairs as he saw me…dark eyes sparked with danger. “Lorn…wait,” he called.
My steps faltered, scuffing my boots against the floor as I wrenched my gaze to the ICU and then back to Rival.
This wasn’t happening.
Not yet…not yet…
Pain sliced me apart as my knees trembled. I lunged forward, sweeping past his outstretched hands.
“Don’t go in there,” he growled behind me. “Lorn! Don’t go in there.”
But there was no stopping, no waiting…there was nothing they could do to me that wasn’t already being done.
I was flayed from the inside, shredded all the way down to the bone. I wasn’t leaving him…I wasn’t leaving him…and he wasn’t leaving me.
The glass doors opened and silence descended. I raced along the hallway toward the nurse’s desk. A woman stood there, long black hair sweeping over one shoulder as she bent across the chest-high counter and scribbled on the page.
But it was the doctor I looked to…the doctor whose eyes widened. “Ms. Payne.”
The woman straightened and then turned. For a second I didn’t understand…I didn’t even recognize her, until I caught the familiar mark on her upper lip.
I’d seen that mark twice before. Once in a wedding photo Titus kept in the empty apartment she’d left behind. The second was face to face, when she was in a drug-fueled haze, with a demon at her side.
Thea Banks had changed in the months after leaving her husband with barely more than the clothes on his back. Thick black tattoos marred her arms, carved in runes and swirls. A night walker. I even knew which Priestess she served, The Morrigan.
“I’m sorry,” Doctor Valez murmured.
But it was fear talking…he wasn’t sorry…not at all. I lowered my gaze to the form on the counter…the pen poised near the bottom.
I understood now.
Understood why Rival waited for me.
Understood why the Heavens cried.
They cried for me.
“No!” I snarled and took a step forward. “You can’t do this. You can’t do this!”
Hands grabbed me, but the rage was too close, sweeping me away faster than any deluge could answer. They were taking him away…switching off the machine by his side. They were ready to give up.
Never…the word thundered like the storm overhead.
NEVER…
Midnight flames swallowed my hands and raced along my arms. I didn’t care about my sodden clothes now, nor Gabriel leaving me to rise through the clouds and return to Heaven.
I cared about that sound, that beep…beep…beep. I cared about the warmth of his fingers on my cheek and the way he whispered my name. I cared about our love…and it was our love that’d sustain me…
A cry savaged the foyer behind me, and the sound was followed with another.
“Lorn…no!” Rival howled behind me.
The floor trembled as the infernal flames swept out, and then sucked back in. I swallowed the backdraft, swallowed the poison. I took it all as that piece of paper slipped from the counter and was cast into the air.
Do Not Resuscitate was printed in bold letters along the top.
She had no right…she had no fucking right.
“You left him,” the savage words tore from my mouth.
The bitch cowered like all cowards do as I stepped closer. “You fucking left him, and I was there to pick up the pieces. I was the one who loved him. I was the one he loved back.”
“He’s still legally married, Lorn.” Rival’s words were a spear to my heart. “There’s nothing we can do.”
I shook my head, raindrops spilling from my eyes now.
Raindrops of tears.
“He’s mortal,” Rival gently pulled me backward, forcing me to turn and fall into him. His arms wrapped around my body. “He’s mortal, with mortal laws.”
Mortal, with mortal laws. That’s what it came down to. That’s all they cared about. Didn’t they see I was here every day? Didn’t it matter what he wanted? Didn’t it matter how hard he fought?
I couldn’t give up…I wouldn’t give up.
I took a step backwards, pulling out of his embrace.
Blue eyes shimmered through the sheen of tears as I lifted my head. “If it was you lying there, would you want me to walk away so easily?”
He jerked, his gaze went to the hallway and the room where the man I loved waited…waiting for me to do something, and then my hellhound turned back to me, his word choked with emotion. “No.”
I gave a nod, turned, and did something I didn’t think I was capable of.
I begged.
Thea Banks stood with her back against the counter, her eyes riveted to me.
“If you cared for him at all, you’ll give him time to fight. Don’t take that away from him…or us. We love him. We know he’s coming back to us. All I’m asking for is time. Please.”
“The document is signed,” Doctor Valez answered. “The patient has a maximum period of ten days, unless he deteriorates on his own.”
Ten days…it wasn’t enough…it wasn’t anywhere near enough.
“I’ll hold them off for as long as I can,” Titus’s wife murmured. “It’s all I can do.”
Ten days. I lifted my gaze to the hallway and swallo
wed hard.
I left them there with the stench of rage and pain and headed down the hallway. My world was collapsing, falling in ruins around my feet, and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do to stop it. For all the power that ran through my veins, I was helpless.
I turned the corner and went to the room at the end of the hall. The glass door opened with a rush. That familiar sound greeted me, even in my sleep I heard it, the rush of the ventilator…the beep…beep…beep of the monitor beside his bed.
He was alive…for now he was alive and that was all that mattered. I crossed the room and skirted the end of the bed. “Hello, my love. We had a close call tonight…a very close call.”
Rival lingered out in the hallway. I could feel him out there…hovering…aching, just like we all ached. I turned and sat on the side of the bed and then gently lifted my feet.
The sheets pulled as I shifted and curled my body into a hollow just made for me. Underneath the bitter smell of alcohol and drugs, I could still smell him, that heady rich scent, and for a second I wanted the taste of the gunpowder back on his skin, to remind me for a second of the man before the fire.
He was so fucking strong, even in the face of death—he stared that bitch down. I loved him for that. I loved him more than he’ll ever know.
The tiny thud came from beside me…in the small metal cabinet wedged against the bed.
The sound came again, this time with what sounded like the tiny flutter of wings. I rolled, and sat up on the bed. The whoosh of the door filled the room before heavy steps resounded.
“You okay…what is it?” Rival cut across the end of the bed and stepped close.
“I thought I heard something.”
“Like wings, yeah? I heard it myself this morning, couldn’t find a damn thing.”
The sound came again, only quieter. I punched out my hand and yanked open the drawer. The tiny creature flung itself into the air, lips curled, little rows of razored teeth bared for all to see.
The hellhound was fast, moving with a blur as he lunged forward and snatched it from the air. The creature twisted and turned as it thrashed, desperate to fly.
“What the fuck?” Rival lifted the tiny beast higher. “What the fuck is this?”
I shook my head as big dark eyes settled on the bed behind me. There was something about the creature…something that felt…right. “Let it go.”
Rival jerked his gaze toward me. “What?”
“Let it go, let’s see what it does.”
There was a tiny shake of his head. I knew his fear and as he unfolded his fingers and the tiny creature slipped free, a document came back to my mind…a hunter’s log…one my grandmother created in the months before her death.
She was investigating those I loved.
Titus Banks - Species: Unknown
It was written in a journal, one she’d left open for me to find. I’d forgotten the words, forgotten the anger that drove me from her home that night and right into the waiting claws of the night hag.
The tiny creature flew upwards as Rival released it. Its almost-black eyes shone with fear as it looked at Rival and then at me.
“We’re not going to hurt you,” I murmured, and pushed up from the bed. “It’s okay, you’ve got nothing to fear.”
The creature flapped its little wings. I caught the colors in the wing webbing, green, red, and purple splashed against the crisp white bedsheets.
My heart stuttered…the light so goddamn beautiful.
“It’s not here to hurt him,” I murmured, staring at the stunning rainbow. “It’s here because it wants to be.”
“We don’t even know what it is.”
I shook my head as the tiny creature watched me with careful eyes and came closer. “It doesn’t matter…nothing matters. Not while he keeps breathing…not while there’s still time. You’ll protect him, won’t you?” I spoke to the creature.
I slipped my boots off the side of the bed and then stood. The creature fluttered above Titus’s body, casting the vibrant hue across his face, and for a second I saw his skin shimmer in a way no mortal skin should. He sparkled, throwing color into the air.
Purple.
Blue.
Red.
Green.
He was beautiful in that moment. He was truly beautiful.
I shook my head and whispered. “What the hell are you, Titus?”
But there was no answer, not from him or from the machine. The little creature fluttered effortlessly in the air above him, casting glances toward me and Rival.
Power shuddered through me, rolling like a tornado ready to unleash. But here in the room, with the creature, I knew he’d be okay…for a little while, at least. “You’ll look after him, won’t you? You’ll be by his side.”
The creature let out a shriek, one what made me wince.
“Jesus,” Rival snapped behind me.
Sodden clothes stuck to my skin. I looked at the damn bedsheets, and the wet mark on his gown my tears had left behind and murmured, “We can go home now. She’ll be his protector.”
Rival looked to me and then the little beast, his gaze narrowed. “And you know that how?”
“The same way I know most things, especially when it comes to the heart. She cares for him, somehow. To me, that’s enough.”
There was an awkwardness between us now, one that hadn’t been there before. In this moment we were lovers turned strangers, and that old voice whispered again…they’ll all leave you… “Both of us could do with a night away from this place.”
“What if he…you know.”
I shook my head. “He won’t, that’s not Titus. I know that.”
We left then, left the little creature flapping above his bed. I wanted to turn my head, to catch sight of him one last time, but I kept walking, swallowing that poison down as I passed the nurse’s station and strode out into the foyer.
This wasn’t the last second I saw Titus Banks—I was sure of it.
As sure as my heart could be.
Rain still pelted down as I swept through the glass double doors of the hospital. But this time I didn’t run. I took my time, letting the frigid water slide down the back of my neck as we walked to the car.
Pain was a nail, driving through my chest with every thud of my boots as I hit the remote and Rival climbed into the car.
Doors slammed shut. The distance between us stretched wide. He may as well be across the world.
“Lorn,” he murmured.
I leaned forward and started the car. I couldn’t put it into words, not the words that raged inside my head or the hurt in my chest, the one that whispered, you don’t really know anyone, do you?
I shoved the car into gear and weak yellow headlights cut through the slanted rain.
“Talk to me.”
I spun the wheel and punched the accelerator, feeling the old car surge. There was no talking, no tearing apart. I just wanted to drive…and keep on driving.
I wanted to run, but not run away, just run somewhere—away from the agony, away from the waiting—away from this feeling of emptiness that welled like a damn volcano.
I was cracking on the inside, and lava was spilling free. I gripped the wheel and jerked, tearing through the streets. Rival slapped one hand on the door and then braced against the dashboard.
Run…run…that urgency whispered.
But I had nowhere to run to. Nowhere that would take me away from this prison I kept inside. All I had was this…I eased my foot off the accelerator and coasted for a while before I turned and made the last corner to Alma’s building.
The engine ticked and hissed as I pulled up against the curb and switched off the ignition. We sat in silence, Rival still holding on for dear life and me, bleeding on the driver’s seat in front of him with not a drop of blood to be seen. How could I tell him…how could I tell him I’d lost everything.
My Mom.
Alma.
Titus…
I lifted my head to the darkened window in t
he apartment high above—and now Gabriel. The apartment was empty, I could feel it from down here. My hand slipped, skimming the ruptured vinyl of the door to hit the handle. I yanked and shoved. Rival would find out sooner or later.
And just like everyone else, he’d leave me as well. I pushed open the door and stepped out.
“So, just like this, you’re giving up on us?” Rival barked across the roof of the car, and I just had no strength to fight him.
Not him.
Not the hellhound I loved.
Tears blurred my steps as I made it to the front door. The heat of midnight flames cut across my palm and engulfed my hand.
The key trembled, stabbing wood instead of steel. Desperation soared with the heavy thud of his steps behind me.
“Lorn, please,” he begged and it was a stake through my heart.
The lock clicked, and the door swung wide. I was running, slamming my boots into the floor as I stumbled up the stairs.
Not my home.
Not my kin.
I had no one.
I punched the key into the apartment door and shoved it wide.
Silence greeted me…silence and pain. The shit was choking, filling every inch of this space.
We all go at some point, Lorn, even those who are immortal die inside.
Ace’s warning filled my mind.
I thought he meant Gabriel.
But it wasn’t the archangel he’d stared at.
It was me…me with the mortal wounds.
Me who was dying inside.
I stumbled through the apartment to the one room I hadn’t stepped foot inside since I came here…it was the one room I wanted to conquer now.
The sweet scent of honeysuckle greeted me as I punched open the bedroom door. Shadows waited. Alma was in every corner, and splashed against every wall. Weapons and maps were spread everywhere. A steel safe sat in the corner. Secrets and lies all hidden within these four walls.
Still it hadn’t been enough to keep her safe.
It hadn’t been enough to keep her alive.
Tears slipped from my cheeks to linger at the edge of my jaw. They fell as I stepped inside and I left a trail of my pain behind.
That volcano inside was breaking open, carving a path through the earth of my mind. The walls shuddered. The floor trembled. Midnight flames raced along my arms toward my shoulders as the air inside the room vibrated.