by Meg Ripley
“I get it. Honestly, I do,” River admitted. “If I were in your situation, I probably would have bailed by now. But I want you to know I would never cheat on anyone; that’s why I haven’t committed to either of you.”
I looked over at Carson to see how he was taking what she said. He looked as frustrated as I felt.
“There has to be one of us that you like just a little bit more,” I insisted.
She shook her head slowly. “I know it seems that way. And before I felt all this, I would have whole-heartedly agreed. At first, I assumed there would be a clear winner over time. But the more time I spent with each of you, the more I liked you both, and the more equal it stayed. I realize my feelings are bizarre; you know that, right?”
“What do you mean?” Carson asked.
“What I feel for you both,” she explained. “It’s not normal. It’s nothing I’ve ever felt before. It’s like some kind of strong magnet pulling my inner eagle toward each of you. She goes wild around you both. You each fulfill different parts of me, and that’s part of what makes it so difficult to favor just one of you. With you, Max, I can laugh, watch action movies, go to the arcade and let loose. I feel so tense all the time, and you give me much-needed release. But with you, Carson, my eyes are opened to new things, putting me in a state of wonder. I need that, too, because that’s when growth and change happen. I don’t think my heart will be able to be happy and really heal without you both in my life.”
My anger pushed against its restraints, barely holding back, but strived to break free. My hands balled into fists and my jaw ached from clenching it so hard.
“I am not going to spend the rest of my life trying to outdo Carson,” I insisted through gritted teeth. “You have to choose one of us.”
Then Carson got extremely dirty.
“I understand,” he said, giving her a sympathetic smile. “I wouldn’t want to share you, but I will if that’s the only way I can have you in my life. I’d rather have some time with you than none. But Max, if you can’t handle that, maybe you should just walk away now.”
When he’d finished his performance and I noticed the pompous glint in his eyes, that was the last straw. Fiery rage snapped free, tearing through my body, and I shoved his chest with both of my palms.
His arms flew up in response, sending back a quick jab that I ducked. I was on my feet, hands up and ready as he got up and took the same stance. Landing a swift upper hook, I felt the reverberation down my arm as his teeth crashed together.
He shook it off and took a step back, his chest heaving. When he didn’t calm in a few moments, I stuck my arm out to protect River. “Stay back,” I told her.
She scrambled out of the chair and moved back several feet. Carson’s shout turned into a roar, his mouth elongating into a snout, as his bear-self took over. He stretched and I watched his dark coat shoot through his skin. A bear now stood in her living room.
Seeing him in bear form coming at me made it almost impossible for me not to shift. I was already breathing heavy, trying my best to hold it together. He roared again and charged me, and I lost control.
Feeling the familiar crackling of my joints as my bones rearranged themselves, I erupted into my bear in an instant and jumped as he reached me. I landed on him and closed my jaws around his leg as he twitched.
You shifted in her house, you idiot, I thought to him through our mental clan link.
He bucked me off him, and I crashed into the coffee table, snapping it in half.
Nice one, moron, he thought back.
This is why we don’t shift in houses, jerk off.
You know, Kylie thought to us, this is very entertaining and all, but it’s hard to concentrate with you two acting like little boy cubs.
Sorry, Kylie, Carson told her. Tell Max to stop being an ass and this will all be over.
How about you both stop being asses already. Aren’t you sick of fighting over every little thing? I’m sick of hearing it, that’s for sure. And I’m not the only one.
I heard several indications of agreement.
See, Carson. Stop this already! I demanded.
River had been yelling something, but I couldn’t hear her over the rushing adrenaline and clan chatter in my head. I looked at her for a moment and she was pointing to the door. We needed to move this outside before we destroyed her house.
But the moment of clarity was lost on me, the clan forgotten, when Carson bent back and took hold of my side with his teeth. I whimpered and swiped him with my claws, drawing blood from his neck and shoulder. He yelped and let go of me.
First blood! I couldn’t help being triumphant.
What! Kylie was really upset now. You guys are fighting for real? I’m getting Cooper. This has gone too far.
She shifted out and it was quiet again. No one else dared to speak.
I tried to pull Carson toward the door by grabbing his arm, but he took it as another attack and swiped back, cutting my cheek with a burning slice.
I was trying to get you out of the damn house, I signaled to him. Before you break everything. I sensed someone reacting in shock, but without a full thought, I didn’t have enough concentration to pick up on who had felt it. I’d have to deal with the clan later.
I rushed back to Carson, and he moved to the side, using my momentum against me to send me into the wall. I put my paws out just in time and caught myself, but they smashed the wall harder than it could withstand.
I turned back to bite Carson, and when he thrashed to break free, he sent a lamp crashing into the TV. Both shattered. Fearing for her safety, I looked over to where River had been.
She was gone. I sniffed in the air and didn’t smell her, and it was enough to give me pause.
Wait! I thought to him, but not fast enough.
Carson charged at me again, but this time, I held up my hands and shifted back, jumping out of the way in my much nimbler human body as he landed his swipe on the couch’s cushions, sprouting stuffing from two of them.
He whipped his head back, probably confused, before shifting back and putting up his fists.
“Can’t take me in bear form?” he asked.
I shook my head. “You’re a fucking idiot. Look around you. Now we’ve trashed the place. And River is gone.”
“What?” He looked out the front door toward the driveway. “Shit.”
When he walked back into the living room, he seemed to be calmer. At least he was much more rational now.
“We both messed up big time,” I admitted.
He looked around the trashed living room. “Yes, we did.”
“I’m going to find some bandages before we get blood on everything.”
He followed me to the bathroom and we each tended to our wounds. He seemed to be in worse condition than me. That gave me a tiny boost. Maybe I could win in the end after all.
17
Carson
Max found some of River’s clothing he could fit into, and in the super-tight sweatpants, padded out to his car. He brought an armful of clothing in, tossing me a shirt and shorts. “For God’s sake, cover your nasty ass.”
“We have to fix this or she’ll never speak to either of us again, and rightly so,” I said, dressing before heading back into the living room.
“Fix this?” Max walked over to the couch and held up a handful of stuffing. “Dude, I don’t think any of this is fixable.”
“I mean, we’ll have to fix it by replacing everything and cleaning up.”
“Right.” He walked in the direction of the kitchen and came back with a broom. He started sweeping up pieces of the broken TV screen and I grabbed a trash bag.
Man, we’d done a lot of damage. I hadn’t even thought about the fact we were inside a house. The rage had been so strong that it took over. I was 100% animal for several minutes without a shred of human consciousness, and I’d never experienced that before. I’d never been unable to control it before. And this had been the result. Realizing what I’d been capable of wa
s terrifying.
Max smoothed his hand around the edges of the damaged drywall. “I can patch this. I’ll have to run home to get some supplies, but I can get that done in no time.”
I walked over to the couch and pulled out the cushions, then looked closely at the tag, which stated the brand, model name and color number. I knew she loved that couch; I took out my phone and looked up the manufacturer. I found it at a few local furniture stores, and in a matter of a few clicks, I had a new one ordered and scheduled for rush delivery, which would get it there the following day. “Couch is set.”
“The lamp is from that gift shop in town,” Max said. “We just got it the other day, and I know there was another one. I’ll stop and pick it up on my way back, along with the stuff to patch the wall.”
“While you do that, I’ll order a new TV and coffee table.”
“That should cover everything.” He scanned the room once more before he headed off. “I just hope she has some leftover paint.”
I looked at the taupe wall. Trying to match it would be difficult. Maybe I could just repaint the whole room for her instead... “Yeah, I’ll check downstairs in a minute.”
After ordering the rest of the items, I knew I’d have to rearrange my budget that month to make up for the unexpected purchases, but I didn’t mind. If it would prove to River how sorry I was and how bad I’d felt, then it was worth every cent.
I went down to the basement to look for paint. What I found was a cabinet holding several gallons, all clearly marked with which room they belonged to, and I smiled. Her sense of organization filled my heart with joy. She’s so perfect for me. Selecting the paint marked “Living Room – walls,” I returned upstairs.
Shortly thereafter, Max returned, lamp in hand as promised, and patched up the wall. I wanted to make sure he did the job well, so I stuck around.
“All set,” Max announced, “but I’ll have to come back after it dries to sand and paint.”
“I guess that’s all we can do for now.” I looked around and didn’t see anything else askew. “Now we’ll just have to hope she forgives us.”
He huffed. “Then, she’ll just need to choose one of us. But I don’t think that’s going to happen.”
“I don’t either; not right away. But, over time, she will. I don’t see how she could love us both for a whole lifetime; one of us will be better suited for her more than the other. We’ll have to stick it out and deal with each other until then.”
“Right.” He glared. “And you think that’s you.”
“Of course. Just like you think it’s you. But only River can decide.”
“Fine. Let’s hope she does sooner than later.”
“Let’s.” I turned from him and left.
When I got home, I’d sent River a long text explaining how sorry I was, how stupid our fight had been, and what Max and I had done to help make things right back at her place. I didn’t get a response from her, but I hadn’t expected one. I’d told her I understood if she was too angry to talk, but that I would be there waiting when she was ready.
Later that night, before I went to bed, I got a text, but it was from Cooper. He asked that I come to the cabin the following day to have a meeting with him and Max. I groaned. Nothing good would come of Cooper trying to help us work out our differences. He never had quite figured out how the dynamic between Max and I worked. He tried hard, though.
I was the third to arrive at the cabin. I pulled up and saw Cooper’s car, so I assumed he was the only one inside. But River was there, sitting beside him.
“I didn’t expect to see you.”
She glanced at me, gave me a tight smile, and looked back at the floor.
“You did get my text, right?” I asked.
She nodded.
“Go ahead and take a seat,” Cooper instructed. “I’m sure Max will be—”
“Right here,” he announced, bursting through the door.
“Good,” Cooper said. “Let’s get right to the point, shall we?”
Max sat beside me to complete the circle. Cooper had set up only four chairs and had River sitting across from Max and me.
“River—as well as several clan members, might I add— came to me last night about this fight you two got into. You actually shifted inside her house? What were you thinking?” He shook his head, the disgust plain in his voice.
I answered for the two of us. “We weren’t thinking at all. I know we both regret our actions terribly, but at least we’ve fixed everything that was damaged in the process.”
“No, you didn’t fix everything,” Cooper argued. “Carson, you broke a clan rule. Do you realize, in the entire history of the clan, a rule has only been broken once? We have two, and they’re pretty easy to keep. Don’t tell anyone our secret. And don’t fight another brother—that includes causing drama. You’ve not only fought each other, you’ve drawn blood. I even heard one of you gloated when that happened.”
I glanced over at Max and his jaw tightened. My back still stung from it, and I was covered in bruises and small gashes from his teeth. He was probably in about the same condition.
“First of all, the fighting stops now,” Cooper demanded. “Is that understood?”
I nodded and so did Max.
“If either of you starts a fight, you’ll both be banned from the clan. Permanently. Do you understand?”
We nodded again and my face burned. Having River there made the whole thing unbearable. I didn’t need her to see me being reprimanded by my Alpha.
I was pissed about the conditions, too. If Max decided to start trouble just to get us both kicked out, I’d be taking it up with Cooper and fighting it hard. But I would do whatever I could to avoid a confrontation, and that would mean standing there and letting him hit me without retaliating if he decided to attack.
“I don’t know how you’re going to resolve this mess,” Cooper continued, “but you will resolve it. I’m not going to stand for the ongoing verbal pissing contests, either. Is that also understood?”
We nodded our agreement.
“Okay. Then, here’s the real question I have for all of you.” He took turns making eye contact with the three of us now. “After listening to what River shared with me, what the clan has been saying, and what I’ve picked up on myself, I have to wonder: why are you fighting fate?”
I pulled my eyebrows together and glanced at River, then Max. They’d exchanged looks, too. We all seemed confused.
“It’s obvious to me—and not only me—that this is a rare situation,” Cooper continued. “I’ve personally never seen it, but Kathleen has once, many years ago. That was slightly different than your situation, but she says the feeling of it is the same.”
He drew in a long breath and blew it out slowly. “The three of you are shared fated mates.”
Why would fate make such a cruel decision? And how could someone be fated to two mates anyway? Max and I certainly weren’t attracted to each other, so it must have been coming from River. She was stuck having to choose between one of two fated mates? No wonder she claimed she’d felt an equal pull toward each of us.
“So what the hell do we do?” I asked after a long pause.
All three of us stared at Cooper. “Well, here’s the thing. From the research we’ve been doing as a clan and with Kathleen’s input, everything about your situation points to shared fated mates. Except for one thing; an important thing, I think. Maybe the most important. Traditionally, when a mate is shared, fate also intervenes emotionally and eliminates jealousy. But that doesn’t seem to be happening with you three.”
“Then we must not be fated,” I offered.
Cooper nodded. “That’s what I said, too. But we looked into it more and found there has never been a case where someone had two fated mates who wouldn’t share their intended.”
“I did some research this morning,” River added, finally entering the conversation. “When Cooper mentioned it last night, I couldn’t believe it. But there’s no denying ho
w I feel; I’m fated to you both. And if it’s never happened where someone was fated to two and it wasn’t a shared situation, then I don’t understand why you two can’t get along.”
“It can’t be a shared situation,” I insisted.
“Let me read this to you.” Cooper took out a folded piece of paper and opened it. “The attraction is so strong, that it’s often described like a magnet, pulling the fated toward each other. This ‘magnetic pull’ is unavoidable, irresistible, and unquenchable. The fated have claimed they had no choice in the matter. Once felt, the attraction only grows stronger. In no case recorded has the intense feeling between fated individuals subsided. Rather, most report a steadily increasing desire and love for their mate. In a shared heterosexual situation, the two of the same sex often come to have a relationship like that of a sibling and best friend, appreciating their individual strengths and working together to make the happiest and most efficient home for their fated. The only recorded report from a shared fated mate claimed that the two men the woman was fated to became like one to her, working together to balance each other perfectly, becoming the most perfect mate.”
He set the paper down and looked at each of us. “Tell me that’s not you,” he challenged.
“That’s us, 100%,” River said. “It feels exactly like that, and I told you last night, Cooper, they complement each other perfectly and fulfill different needs in my life. But my two fated can’t seem to stop fighting long enough to care about any of this or to realize what it all means.”
A tear ran down her cheek, and she swiped at it with her sleeve. “This is never going to change. The intense feelings we feel for each other? They’re not going away. That means I cannot and will not choose. Choosing would mean dooming one of you to a lifetime of loneliness and unfulfilled longing. How could I rightfully do that to someone I love so much?”
My heart jumped at the word “love.” She loves us? Or me? Or does she mean Max? I’d guessed the shared fated bond concept meant she really did love us both. Impossibly, equally. I had been holding back saying it because “love” was far too serious of a word to mention to someone who didn’t want a relationship. But in all truth, I’d felt it from the very beginning.