by Beth Wiseman
Marianne Byler knew exactly who Lucy was. She and her husband had always lived in Lancaster County. Marianne knew that Lucy was the adulterer who had wrecked Ivan and Katie Ann’s marriage. Soon Cora would know it too.
They set the date for the following Thursday.
14
BY THURSDAY MORNING ANNA’S FACE WAS FINALLY looking better. She’d made her bakery deliveries all week, but she’d hurried in and hurried out, and she hadn’t stopped to see Jacob at his job. This morning she planned to go by and see him.
She grabbed her lunch pail from the refrigerator, slipped on her shoes, which waited by the front door, and was opening the screen when her grandmother called her name, rushing into the room. “Where are you going?”
Anna let out a small grunt. “The same places I go every day, Mammi . . . to make deliveries. I’ve already loaded the buggy.”
Her grandmother tapped a finger to her chin. “Oh.”
Anna closed the screen and walked back into the room. “Are you okay?”
Mammi smiled. “Of course, dear. I just . . . oh, I don’t know. Guess I got confused for a minute.”
Anna squinted at her grandmother. “I think you need to go see Dr. Noah and get your prescription refilled. I’m not sure the cinnamon pills are controlling your blood sugar. Do you check it regularly?”
“Ya, dear. I check it.” Mammi pressed her palms together in front of her. “Today is Thursday. Cora and Lucy are coming for a visit. See, I’m fine.”
Anna had been surprised to hear that Cora and Lucy Turner had become friends. That seemed like a strange friendship. Everyone in their district knew what Lucy had done, and Cora seemed like such a nice person.
“Does Daadi know you are entertaining Lucy today?” Anna couldn’t keep the irritation out of her voice. Her grandfather still wouldn’t agree to let her see Jacob.
Mammi raised her chin. “Nee, I haven’t mentioned it.”
Anna shook her head. “That’s as gut as lying, Mammi—just like whatever you do down in your room in the basement.” She cringed a little inside, knowing she would be doing the same thing by visiting Jacob today.
“Mind your tongue, Anna. I don’t lie to your grandfather.”
“Nee, you just don’t tell him the entire truth.” Anna turned to leave, mumbling, “I’m never going to live like the two of you.” Not after I’m married, anyway.
Her grandmother said something, but Anna didn’t hear. She was out the door and hurrying to hitch the horse. She couldn’t wait to see Jacob.
Marianne sank down on the couch and sighed. Anna was right. What had started as a fairly innocent hobby many years ago had turned into a wall-to-wall hoard of objects her husband would disapprove of. Looking back, she wished she had stood up to Isaac about his silly rules early in their marriage. Marianne felt confident that nothing she was doing compromised her faith or love of the Lord, but lately the secrets had been weighing heavily on her.
She was a little anxious about her upcoming visit with Cora and Lucy Turner. She’d been surprised to hear that Cora and Lucy had become friends. What a scandal it had been when everyone found out Ivan Stoltzfus had cheated on his wife with Lucy. It wasn’t Marianne’s place to judge, and she doubted that Ivan was an innocent victim. But being around Lucy would still be a bit awkward, especially if Isaac found out. He had insisted that Anna not babysit for Lucy. What would he say about having Lucy in their home?
And why was Isaac being so stubborn about Anna and Jacob? If he didn’t ease up a little, their granddaughter would become more defiant, and his rigid attitude might affect Marianne and Cora’s friendship as well. Poor Cora had been through enough, and she was trying desperately to put her family back together, no thanks to that husband of hers. Marianne would like to give John Hostetler a swift kick in the behind. It was the man’s place to run his household, and he wasn’t doing that.
Marianne stood up when she heard a car coming up the driveway. She waited at the door while Cora and Lucy got out of the car. She hadn’t realized that Lucy would be bringing her boppli. Ivan’s sohn. But it had been a long time since Marianne had a little one in the house. Nothing like a small child to ease any tension and light up a room.
As Cora and Lucy grew near, Marianne wasn’t sure she would have recognized Lucy. She was a bit heavier than Marianne remembered, she didn’t have on any makeup, and her hair was a different color. The cute little one on her hip was smiling ear to ear.
“Wie bischt? I have a fresh shoofly pie on the table and hot kaffi ready.” She reached over and touched the child on the arm. “And who is this handsome fellow?” He really was a cutie. Marianne remembered Anna telling her how adorable Lucy’s little one was.
“This is Benjamin.” Lucy glowed when she said the boy’s name, but she also avoided looking at Marianne. The girl was bound to be nervous. Marianne doubted Lucy made very many visits to their people these days.
“Well, I bet I have some snacks for him too.” Marianne touched his cheek. “How does that sound, Benjamin?”
“Danki, Marianne.” Cora reached her arms out and took Benjamin from Lucy. “I’ve been eager for you to meet Lucy. You two have become my dearest friends, so it seemed fit you should meet.” She snuggled her face into Benjamin’s tummy. “Isn’t that right, Benjamin?”
Marianne found herself avoiding Lucy’s eyes as well. “Ya, I think Lucy and I might have met a long time ago.” She finally looked up, and Lucy was pale. Did Cora know about Lucy’s past? Marianne wasn’t about to spill the beans. That was up to Lucy. “It’s nice to see you again, Lucy. Please, let’s all go into the kitchen.” Marianne went into the pantry and pulled out a booster chair she kept on hand for when they hosted worship service or Sisters’ Day.
Soon they were seated with coffee and pie, and Benjamin entertained them by making faces as he nibbled on crackers and cookies. He was a precious boy, and it was refreshing to have a little one around. After a while, Marianne asked Cora how things were at home. She worried a lot about Cora and her family. It was a sin—worrying—but Cora had a lot to deal with.
“Everyone is doing gut.” She paused, glanced at Lucy. “Except John. I’ve told Lucy about my husband.”
Cora spent the next half hour talking about how her husband had quit being both a husband and father after their daughter died. Marianne recalled how Isaac acted after their son and daughter-in-law died. She thought he could help, if only John would agree to let him pay a visit.
Marianne was still processing everything Cora was saying when Cora changed the subject.
“Lucy is having troubles at home also.” Cora patted Lucy’s hand. “Her mother is ill and giving her a hard time.”
Marianne finished chewing a piece of pie—pie she knew she shouldn’t be having—then swallowed and asked, “What’s the matter with her?”
Lucy wiped some crumbs from Benjamin’s mouth with her hand and finished her own mouthful of pie, then she lifted the little boy from the booster chair and put him in her lap. He had been rubbing his eyes and now leaned his head against his mother’s chest. “She had a stroke awhile back and was in a nursing home. But she sort of . . . uh . . . got kicked out.” She shrugged. “She’s difficult.”
“And mean to Lucy,” Cora added.
Lucy’s face turned red. “I don’t think she can help it. But it’s hard.”
“You’re a good daughter to tend to her, but I’m sure it’s a struggle.” Marianne stood up to clear their plates.
“I do the best I can.” Lucy smiled as she lifted her plate to Marianne. “Thank you. That was very good.”
“You’re welcome, dear.” Marianne put the dishes in the sink, refilled their coffee cups, then sat back down. Her heart was heavy for both Cora and Lucy. Cora was solid in her faith, and things were hard enough for her. But what about Lucy? A relationship with the Lord would surely help Lucy with her mother.
Marianne sat taller and smiled as she glanced back and forth between the two women. They’d prayed silently before eating the
pie, but this situation seemed to call for additional blessings. Both women bowed their heads when Marianne did.
“Dear heavenly Father, we ask for Your blessing for both John and Lucy’s mother . . .” Marianne lifted her head, cleared her throat, and raised an eyebrow at Lucy.
“Alice.” Lucy barely raised her head.
“. . . for John and Alice. May You guide them both through these troubled times, and also their families. Aamen.”
“Thank you, Marianne,” Lucy said as she kissed Benjamin on the forehead.
“Of course, dear.” Marianne gazed at the small child in Lucy’s lap, remembering when Anna was that age. “I wish my granddaughter was here to visit with us, but she’s out making our deliveries to the bakeries.”
“Are you having any luck convincing your husband to let Jacob and Anna date?” Cora turned to Lucy. “Bishop Byler isn’t fond of the idea of our kinner dating. They had a rocky start, and now he isn’t very trusting of my son.” She shook her head. “And that’s a shame. Jacob is such a gut boy. He’s really filled in as head of the household since John has gone into seclusion.”
Marianne reached over and snatched a cookie from the plate on the table as guilty pleasure flowed through her. “He will come around.” Although Marianne wasn’t sure that was true. “He’s very protective of Anna. And I know that’s because our son and daughter-in-law were killed. If Isaac had his way, Anna would never ride in a car, and that’s just not realistic. He’s so afraid of something happening to her, but I fear he’s going to push her away. And I’ve tried to explain this to him, but he doesn’t listen. Besides, Anna is of age to make her own choices.”
“Lucy’s husband died before he had a chance to meet this sweet little fellow.” Cora took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I guess that loss is part of life, but it’s still so hard, no matter how strong our faith.”
Marianne pressed her lips together, watching Lucy and wondering if she would correct Cora’s mistake. Benjamin’s father had never been Lucy’s husband.
Lucy glanced sideways to Marianne and stared at her for a few moments as if she was waiting for Marianne to offer up the truth. Then Lucy stood up, cradling Benjamin in her arms.
“Is it okay if I lay him on your couch? And can you point me toward the bathroom, please?”
“Of course, dear. Do you need a pillow? It’s too warm for a blanket.”
“No, but thank you.”
“Bathroom is the first door on the right past the staircase.” Marianne waited until Lucy was out of earshot before she turned to Cora. “Is Lucy a spiritual woman? Does she have a relationship with God? She seemed to feel gut about the prayer earlier.”
“Based on the little bit she’s told me, I think she is finding her way.” Cora paused. “She told me she attends church. But she seems a bit lost and in need of a friend.” She glanced at Benjamin on the couch. “I can tell that she’s a very gut mudder.”
Marianne smiled. “You’re a nice person, befriending the Englisch woman. I think you are right . . . about her needing a friend.”
Cora twirled a strand of hair that had come loose from her kapp. “I was worried about moving here and making new friends. And honestly, I just didn’t think I had the energy for it.” She smiled. “You made it easy to be friends with you, and I felt the same way about Lucy.”
Marianne didn’t think she and Lucy Turner were anything alike. But the moment she had the thought, she wondered if she was unconsciously judging Lucy. “You’re a gut person, Cora. And the Lord is going to see you through this with your husband. Isaac will come around too. Who knows, maybe one day we will be sharing your grandchild and my great-grandchild.”
Cora pointed a finger at Marianne. “Then you better get your husband convinced of what a great catch Jacob is.”
Lucy walked back into the room but didn’t sit down. Her bottom lip was trembling.
“What is it, dear? What’s the matter?” Marianne sat taller, but Cora was quickly up and beside Lucy.
“What’s wrong?” Cora touched Lucy on the arm.
Lucy pressed her lips together for a few minutes, her eyes to the ground. “I haven’t been completely honest with you, Cora. I like being around you, our visits, and I don’t have any real friends, and . . .”
She glanced over at Marianne, clearly aware that Marianne knew what she was about to confess. Bless Lucy’s heart for coming clean with her new friend.
“Now, now . . .” Cora eased Lucy back over to the table. “Sit. And tell us what has you troubled.” She rubbed Lucy’s back gently. “You can tell us anything. We’ve both shared about our husbands and the problems we’re having.”
“I’ve never been married.” Lucy shifted her weight in the chair. “I didn’t lie. Benjamin’s father did die. I was just never married to him.”
Cora was quiet for a few moments, then put her hand on Lucy’s. “We all make mistakes, Lucy. God forgives us, and you have beautiful little Benjamin. And despite the way it happened, I’m sure you loved Benjamin’s father.”
Lucy glanced at Marianne and blinked a few times before turning back to Cora. “Benjamin’s father was Ivan Stoltzfus, a well-known Amish man in this district. He—he . . . was married.” She took a deep breath. “To someone else, a woman named Katie Ann. Ivan left Katie Ann, and I lived with Ivan until he was killed in an accident.”
Cora withdrew her hand abruptly. “You cheated . . . with a married man?” Her voice had taken on an icy edge.
“I know I should regret it, but . . . like you said, I have Benjamin now, so how can he be a mistake? And I did love Ivan. Very much.” Lucy forced a smile, but Cora didn’t return it. She sat frozen, her eyes accusing.
“Did you know he was married when the affair started?” Cora’s voice was heavy with accusation as she stared at Lucy.
Lucy grabbed a napkin from the table and dabbed at her eyes. “Yes, I did. I know it was wrong, but I loved Ivan, and he said he loved me. We were building a life together when he was killed.”
Marianne wasn’t sure about that last part. She’d heard rumors that Ivan was planning to reconcile with his wife at the time of his death. But no need to rub salt in Lucy’s wound. Cora seemed to be doing a fair job of that.
Cora stood up quickly from the table. “Excuse me while I use the bathroom.”
Once Cora was out of the room, Marianne said, “Lucy, you did the right thing, painful as it was. Real friends are truthful with each other, and to continue to let Cora assume something that isn’t true . . . well, that wouldn’t have been right.” Marianne tensed, knowing she wasn’t being exactly truthful with Isaac.
“I pray every single day, asking God to forgive what I did.” Lucy blinked back tears.
Marianne thought for a few moments. “Lucy, you don’t have to ask God for forgiveness every single day. The Lord forgave you the first time you asked Him. To continue to ask Him every day is like saying you don’t trust Him. You mustn’t carry the burdens of the past. Ya, we have choices to make, but we also can’t see God’s plan for us.”
“Thank you, Marianne. Thank you for saying that. I’m trying so hard to live a good life, to be a good mother to Benjamin. I’m trying to take care of my mother, even though she says the most awful things to me. And I’m establishing a relationship with God. Every day I feel closer to Him.”
Marianne smiled. “A daughter of the promise.”
Lucy sniffled. “What?”
“You’re on your way to becoming a daughter of the promise. A daughter of the promise is someone who is on a spiritual journey and discovers new meaning to the words faith, hope, and love.”
Lucy gave a wobbly smile. “I like that.”
“I guess we need to be going.” Cora strode into the kitchen carrying her purse. She must have retrieved it from the living room. “Danki for a lovely time, Marianne.”
Marianne looked at the clock on her oven. “It’s so early. Are you sure you need to go so soon?”
“Ya, ya. I have much to d
o at home.” She walked toward the living room, where Benjamin still slept on the couch.
Marianne followed her. “Sure you want to wake him?”
“I’ll get the diaper bag.” Cora scooped up the bag, not waiting for Lucy to get Benjamin as she moved toward the door. Lucy hurriedly picked up the little boy, who wiggled and groaned in her arms, still half asleep.
“Thank you, Marianne, for having me in your home, for the pie, coffee, and conversation.” Lucy balanced Benjamin on her hip as the boy rubbed his eyes.
Marianne touched her on the arm. “Continue on your journey, dear. And I will pray for you.”
Lucy leaned over and hugged Marianne. “Thank you.”
Marianne walked Lucy to the door and waved. Cora was already in the car. It didn’t take a brilliant woman to see that this visit hadn’t ended well. But Marianne had meant what she said. She would keep Lucy and Benjamin—and Cora too—in her prayers.
The tension in the car was suffocating. Lucy had tried to talk to Cora but received only clipped responses. Not once did Cora look at Lucy, and she didn’t lean over the seat to play with Benjamin the way she had done in the past.
How stupid she’d been to think she and Cora could really be friends. Lucy knew how the Amish lived, which was a much better life than Lucy had lived. But she’d hoped that Cora would understand and realize that she was working toward a better life. Surrounding herself with good people like Cora had been part of the plan. Lucy thought about the school shootings that had happened years ago nearby. The Amish community had forgiven the gunman, a man who had killed their children. Yet Cora couldn’t forgive Lucy for having an affair with a married man?
Maybe she just needs time.
Lucy pulled to a stop in Cora’s driveway. “Thank you for taking me to meet Marianne. You were right. She’s a very dear person. I do think our paths have crossed before, but only briefly.” Lucy waited for Cora to goggle over Benjamin the way she usually did. But she didn’t even look in the backseat.
“Ya, Marianne is special. ’Bye, now.” Cora closed the door firmly and hurried to the house. She didn’t look back.