The One That Got Away

by S J Crabb

  Once we are back at the lodge we head off to get changed as we are going to the local pub for dinner. Nathan flops down on the bed and pulls me on top of him. “Do you know what Bella, I thought that I would enjoy this weekend but all I really want is to spend it in bed with you.” I roll off of him and think about his words. Turning to look at him I say, “What is it you love about me Nathan? I mean sex aside what do you love most?”

  I can tell that I have taken him by surprise and he looks at me with a startled expression. Sitting up he takes my face in his hands. “Bella, you are my world. I love spending time with you. You make me laugh, I enjoy your company. I love how you look after me and I couldn’t imagine life without you - oh and the sex of course. I fancy you rotten and just want to make love to you all the time.” I think about what he says and smile at him. Inside though I feel uneasy at his words. A few weeks ago I would have been more than happy to hear him say all those things, but now they seem superficial. As I think about the last few weeks since our engagement, I try to remember when we just sat and spoke about our hopes and dreams. We talk but we don’t have very deep and meaningful conversations. There is still a lot about him that I don’t know and the same for him about me. I suppose I never thought about it before but Ben’s words about love and memories keep on playing on my mind. Nathan kisses me and pulls me down on to the bed. He makes love to me tenderly, whispering that he loves me as he brings me to a climax. I want to feel close to him again, I don’t want any doubts; he is my soul mate and the one I love. Surely it is normal to have doubts. We have a lifetime to get to know each other after all. However it troubles me that as I close my eyes and feel him inside me, it is Ben’s face that I see in my mind.

  Chapter 11

  We all have a great time at the local pub and drink far too much wine. Nathan is at his best in such social environments and keeps us all in stitches all night. He is very attentive and it reminds me once again why I love him so much. The food was amazing and feeling very merry indeed we head back to the lodge. I feel sorry for Ben as he has had to drive all weekend and so couldn’t drink.

  As we arrive back Melissa puts her arms around him and kisses him. “Thanks darling. I have had a lovely weekend. Why don’t we finish it off by having a few drinks here? Then you can have a few and try to unwind.” Ben smiles at her indulgently and says grinning, “What she really means is that she doesn’t want the party to end and can I crack open some more bottles.” We all laugh and she pretends to be annoyed. Ben lights the fire and Melissa goes off to change into something more comfortable - as she put it. Nathan sorts the drinks out and I follow Melissa’s example and change into my jogging bottoms and sweatshirt. I put on my slipper boots and feel instantly more relaxed.

  However my idea of something more comfortable and Melissa’s are obviously two different things. We all look at her in amazement as she enters the room in a pair of silky pyjama bottoms, matching top and fur trimmed cardigan. Nathan looks gob smacked and Ben looks at me and rolls his eyes grinning. She goes up to him and drapes herself around his neck and presses herself against him. Gazing up at him she says softly, “Love you honey, thanks again for a super time.” Then she kisses him which makes it quite uncomfortable to watch as I feel like an intruder. Nathan on the other hand can’t take his eyes off the pair of them. Ben pulls away gently. “Come on let’s have a drink and make the most of our last night.” She giggles and I notice that she is well on the way to being drunk.

  Sitting in front of the fire we snuggle up to our relevant partners. I see that Nathan is also knocking the wine back a bit and feel a growing sense of dismay as he is not good after too many drinks. I myself am also feeling giddy and decide that I had better not have any more if I don’t want to be ill in the morning.

  As we all sit there I notice that the conversation is getting louder and louder, or is it just because I have drunk so much/ Nathan suddenly spies the hot tub and shouts, “Let’s all jump in the hot tub. It would be a shame to waste it. Bella grab the wine and we can have a sort of pool party.” Melissa jumps up in excitement clapping her hands and Ben laughs at her enthusiasm. I however shake my head and say, “No Nathan, I haven’t got a swimming costume and it is freezing outside. I would rather stay by the fire.” Nathan races over to me laughing. “Come on Bella, you’re not an old married woman yet, live a little.” He grabs hold of me and throws me over his shoulder. “Nathan stop it, put me down!” I shriek praying that he is not going to do what I think he is. However my instincts were right and he jumps into the hot tub fully clothed and throws me in with him. The shock of the water drenching through my clothes and the effect of the alcohol renders me speechless. Before I can react he crushes me to him and kisses me passionately. He has me in a firm grip and I can’t get away.

  I hear Melissa laughing excitedly and before I know it she has also jumped in shouting to Ben to grab the wine. As Nathan releases me and I come up for air, I see that Ben has also jumped in fully clothed and Melissa is sitting in front of him, his arms wrapped around her. Everyone is laughing and after the shock of it all I realise that it is actually really hot in here and see the steam escaping off the top of it into the cold air.

  We settle down laughing and take it in turns to drink from the bottle. Sitting opposite Ben and Melissa I feel quite uncomfortable watching them. He is massaging her shoulders and she is obviously relishing it. Her eyes are half closed and she is pulling at her bottom lip with her teeth. The cardigan has gone and her thin satin top is leaving nothing to the imagination. I can feel Nathan tense beside me and looking at his expression I can see that he is also feeling the effects.

  Ben looks at me the whole time that he massages her, his expression drawing me in and holding me under his spell. The alcohol is starting to have an effect and I feel totally out of it, but I cannot look away. I can feel that Nathan is mesmerised by Melissa and I suddenly feel the need to interrupt the proceedings. I cough and say, “Actually I am feeling quite tired now. I think that I’ll have a shower and head off to bed.” Nathan looks at me with annoyance. “Come on Bella, don’t break up the party. Have another drink and we can play a game.” Melissa, pulls away from Ben and says with excitement, “Yes, come on Bella. What did you have in mind Nathan?” Grinning he says, “What about spin the bottle?” “Yes!!” she yells loudly. There are certainly a few empty bottles around and still quite a few full ones.

  Nathan carries on, “We have to spin the bottle and whoever it points to has to do what the person who spun it says. If they can’t they have to take a swig from the full one. If they do they have to take two.” Feeling worried I look at Ben who is smiling at them. He looks at me and raises his eyes in a challenge, obviously noticing my discomfort.

  Nathan says, “I’ll start.” He leans out of the tub and spins the bottle on the side next to the tub. It points to Ben and we all laugh. “Ben, take your top off.” Nathan says laughing. Ben does it with good grace and throws the wet top over to the side and then takes two swigs of wine from the bottle. He then spins it and it points to Melissa. He grins at her mischievously. “Tell everyone your middle name.” She shrieks and shakes her head and we all laugh. After a few seconds she whispers, “Maude.” We all laugh and she turns red with embarrassment. It is her turn and it points to Nathan, “Take your trousers off.” She shrieks and then proceeds to chant, “Off, off, off.” This is easy for him and he gladly takes them off. He drinks some more wine and then purposefully spins it back to her. We all laugh and he says, “Now your turn to take off an item of clothing, your choice.” Suddenly I feel uncomfortable. I look at Ben and his expression has turned more serious. Melissa however just laughs and staring hard at Nathan she takes off her top, looking at him defiantly. Then she grabs the wine and drinks several mouthfuls whilst looking at him all the time. I blush with embarrassment and Ben takes his T shirt off and puts it over her head.

  “Ok enough of this game.” he says, and I can tell that he is annoyed. Melissa laughs and says, “Spoilsport.
Come on let’s get out and dry off by the fire.” She jumps out and wraps herself up in a towel and the rest of us follow suit. I feel as though things are a bit awkward now and jump up. “Look guys, I am just getting a shower to warm up. I won’t be long.” Before anybody can comment I race from the room.

  As the warm jets of the shower hit me, I try to take everything in. Things are getting way out of hand and I am annoyed with Nathan as after all Ben is still our boss. As I dry myself I hear the door open and am surprised to see Melissa standing in the doorway. She looks at me guiltily. “Sorry Bella, I don’t mean to disturb you. Please come back, we won’t play any more games and can just have hot drinks if you would prefer. It’s just that I need Ben to relax more.” She sits on the edge of the bed and sighs. “It’s just that we never have much quality time together and even this weekend he hasn’t even made love to me once.” I flush feeling embarrassed. The last thing I want to hear is about their sex life. She doesn’t seem to notice my discomfort and carries on. “If I can just get him a little bit drunk he may relax more and forget about work. I am sorry if I have embarrassed you, but that was all for his benefit. I just want him to want me.”

  I sit down next to her and smile sympathetically. “Ok Melissa, whatever you say. I am sure that he loves you though, it is obvious to anyone who sees you.” Melissa’s lip trembles and she looks very vulnerable. I jump up and take her hand. “Come on lets get back to the guys.” She smiles at me gratefully and leaving my hair wet I follow her out to the others.

  Nathan cheers as he sees us coming and pours us both another large glass of wine. I notice that he is still well over the limit and is starting to slur his words. Ben looks at me questioningly and I just smile and sit back down next to Nathan.

  The evening continues and Nathan and Melissa get onto the subject of computer games. They obviously share a love for them and talk incessantly about the latest one. Ben rolls his eyes and grins. “Come on Bella, let’s go and make some coffee. I think that they could use it don’t you?” I follow him into the kitchen and help him make the drinks. “I am sorry about Nathan,” I say in a quiet voice. “As you know he can over do it a bit, but he means no harm.” He looks at me steadily but doesn’t reply.

  Soon the fire and the hot drinks have an effect on me and my eyes start closing. Nathan is still raring to go and doesn’t notice as he is still chatting away to Melissa. Ben does though and says, “It looks as though Bella needs her sleep.” Nathan looks over at me. “Ok honey, I won’t be long.” Ben looks surprised and I flush with embarrassment. “Goodnight everyone thanks for a lovely evening.” They all say goodnight and I turn in grateful to get into bed as I am exhausted.

  Chapter 12

  I must have been out like a light because I wake up the next morning and see Nathan snoring away beside me half undressed. I don’t remember him coming to bed and it is obvious that he is still out for the count. I look at my watch and notice that it is 9am so I decide to get up and ready and go out and get some fresh air. Once again all is quiet and I grab my coat and make my way outside. As I head down the path I see Ben walking towards me. He smiles. “Morning, did you sleep well after the marathon session?” I laugh and reply, “I slept like a log, which is exactly what Nathan is doing now. Goodness knows what time he came to bed.”

  Ben laughs. “Melissa is the same. I think they will be a bit under the weather for the rest of the day.” He carries on, “Where are you going?”

  “Oh I just thought that I’d grab some fresh air and go for a walk.”

  He grins. “Can I join you? We could go to the shop for breakfast supplies if you want?” I nod in agreement and we head off. It is a lovely day and there is not a cloud in the sky. It is still cold though so we walk at a brisk pace.

  Soon we reach the shop and I am interested to see the various things on display. The man behind the counter smiles at us and says to Ben, “You’re not on your own today. You finally got your little lady to come with you then.” Ben laughs and I look surprised. For some reason I don’t put him straight and just smile and look away. As we head back Ben laughs. “It’s funny isn’t it? I’ve spent more time alone with you this weekend than Melissa.” I grin at him. “Sorry, you drew the short straw. Melissa is obviously more fun than me; I mean Nathan obviously thinks so.” He looks at me in surprise. “Whatever makes you think that?”

  Shrugging my shoulders I say, “Well, I am quite boring really. I don’t drink much or like playing games and I don’t share his interest in football or computer games. I think he finds me a bit boring sometimes.”

  Ben looks thoughtful. “Well I don’t find you boring. In fact you have probably just described me as well. However if my memory serves me correctly, we were anything but boring in our youth.” I smile thinking back to our student days. Turning to look at him I say, “Do you remember how you used to hide in empty boxes and jump out on me when I was least expecting it.” He grins at me and I carry on. “It used to give me a heart attack. You got me every time you know.” I punch him on the arm and he laughs. “Do you remember that we used to spy on Malcolm and Tracy who were having a fling and used to meet behind the deliveries in aisle G?” We both burst out laughing. “Yes I remember them. They got caught when the Fire Inspector did his rounds and we nearly caused the boxes to fall on them in our haste to get away without being seen.” He laughs again saying, “what about when you dropped that crate of Champagne and the corks exploded and broke the strip lighting.”

  We both dissolve into hysterics at the memory and have to stop walking to control our laughter. Looking at him I raise my eyes. “I know there’s no bottle involved but I dare you to climb that tree over there.” He stares at me defiantly. “What do I get if I do?” I return his defiant look and shrug, “As Nathan would say, you choose.” He turns away and heads for the tree. After much laughing he finally gets halfway and sits astride a branch. I laugh to see him sitting there and clap. He shouts down, “Ok, your turn.” “I accept your challenge.” I say laughing and make a real hash of climbing the tree. It takes me longer and he nearly falls out of the tree laughing but soon I am sitting on the branch nearby.

  Out of breath we sit up in the tree both proud of ourselves. “See,” he says, looking at me proudly, “We can still rise to a challenge.” Looking around me I notice how beautiful the forest is. “It is as though there is nobody else around.” I say, enjoying the sense of freedom and space. He looks at me and I carry on, “We lead such busy lives and sometimes forget what it’s like just to let go and be free.” He laughs, “Well don’t let go now, somehow we still have to get down.” I look at him suddenly feeling sad and he looks at me with concern as he notices my expression change.

  “What’s the matter Bella? You look sad.”

  I try to raise a smile but answer, “It’s just that life can be so full on at times. I have had a lovely weekend which makes it all the more harder to go back to my busy life.” His face softens. “Just make sure that you make time for the important things in life. The rest can wait. Just do what makes you happy. Anyway let’s get down and I’ll make you some breakfast.” It takes us some time to climb down and as we reach the bottom he dusts some twigs off of me and pulls one from out of my hair.

  As he touches me I once again feel excitement course through me and wish that he would take me in his arms and kiss me. It is almost as though I have to know what it feels like; I want to see if it affects me the same way as it does in my memory. He looks at me and his eyes penetrate mine. Our faces are so close; it wouldn’t take much for us to touch. I can’t look away and he lifts his finger to my cheek and traces the outline of my face. Then out of nowhere we hear somebody coming. We spring apart in confusion and quickly bending over he grabs the shopping from the ground.

  We see a couple jogging towards us and for a minute I think that it is Nathan and Melissa. They draw near and I am relieved to see that it isn’t, however the moment has gone and we are once again brought back to reality. Reluctantly he says, “C
ome on, the others may be wondering where we are.”

  Once we get back however it is apparent that they are still asleep. I help Ben rustle up some bacon and eggs and we sit together enjoying the food. I realise that we need to pack up and leave by 11am so we decide to wake our partners and load up the car. I take Nathan a coffee in and it is no mean feat to bring him round and get him in the shower. He looks terrible and even the shower and coffee doesn’t seem to help. He groans and holds his head in his hand and it is left to me to pack everything up. I feel really cross with him. I knew that this would happen and it has ruined a good day. We will be back to work tomorrow and I won’t see him until next weekend again. As we join the others I notice that Melissa is also looking very worse for wear. She has tied her hair back and is wearing large dark glasses. Her skin is pale and she looks as though she may be sick. Ben looks annoyed and loads the car up silently, not looking at them.

  I tidy around so that we leave the lodge as we found it and soon we are back in the car heading home. Nathan sits in the back with me and leans his head on my shoulder all the way. He still stinks of drink and I can see Ben looking at us in the rear view mirror. I catch his eye and he winks at me.

  We get to Nathan’s flat and Ben takes his case from the boot. “What about you?” he says looking at me with concern. “Do you want me to drop you home?” I shake my head. “No, my car is here. I’ll make sure he gets in alright and then I’ll go home. Thank you very much; I have had a lovely weekend.” I kiss him on the cheek and notice that he instantly tenses up. He holds my gaze and then Nathan comes over and says, “Yes thanks mate. Sorry I’m not much use today. I’ll be fine though for work tomorrow so don’t you worry.” He then shakes Ben hand and we look in at Melissa who smiles weakly at us. “Thanks Melissa, I hope that you feel better.” I say. She blushes and looks down and can’t seem to look me in the eye. “Bye guys, thanks for a lovely weekend. Hope to see you soon.” She then looks away and I notice that Nathan just smiles quickly at her and then heads off towards his flat. I look at Ben in confusion; they must be so hung over. I wonder what time they got to bed. Ben just raises his eyes and smiles. “I had better get her home. See you soon Bella.” I watch them drive away and then follow Nathan back inside.