“I didn’t think you would be. I wasn’t nervous for my wedding, either. As I recall, I couldn’t wait to marry your dad, and the rest of this brood, as far as that goes. The sooner the better. Do you want coffee? I’ve just realized I poured you a cup without asking.”
“I’d love some.” I rose to fetch the steaming cup from the tray. She took a cup for herself, and we settled on the window seat together. Wearing a white silk dressing gown and robe and her hair in a braid down her back, Mama looked no older than a schoolgirl.
“Is there anything you’d like to ask me? About the wedding night, that is?” Mama asked this while looking out the window. A flush of pink dotted both cheeks.
“I don’t think so.” I’d grown up with animals. I knew the basic idea of what happened between a male and female. “I’ve spent a lot of time in the barn.”
She laughed, which came out sounding more like a hiccup. “Oh dear, all right. I suppose that would inform you of the technical aspects of…things. However, I wanted to mention that it’s not usually blissful the first time and that you shouldn’t give up. You’ll feel some pain, but that’s normal for your first encounter. The second time will be much better.”
It was my turn to blush. I’d had plenty of time over the last few months to imagine what it would be like to finally be in Phillip’s arms. Waiting had been excruciating. Every kiss made me yearn for more. However, I hadn’t known that it would hurt the first time. “I didn’t know that it would be painful. Thank you for that information.”
“That’s just it. No one tells you these things and then the night happens and, well, the not knowing is often worse than the reality. I didn’t want you to be scared.”
“I assumed it must be nice or women wouldn’t keep having babies.”
She laughed, less tightly this time. “Quite right. And there’s absolutely no reason to feel ashamed for enjoying yourself. I wanted to tell you that too.”
“Thanks, Mama.”
She patted my knee. “All right, then. As long as you don’t have any questions, I’ll leave it be.”
“I can’t think of anything else.” I wanted to ask many things, but I held back. Would I know what to do? For that matter, would he know what to do? Would he still like me without a pretty dress covering my body? How long should I stay in the bathroom to change into my wedding night gown?
She took my hand. “I can see all the questions in your eyes, dear one. Please don’t worry. You and Phillip will find your way together. When you love someone as you love Phillip, the body knows the course.”
“How did you know what I was thinking?”
“I was a young bride not so long ago.”
Tears came to my eyes as an image of my parents on their wedding day a decade ago flashed before me. “You saved us, you know, when you came here.”
“Ah, no. You’re the ones who saved me,” Mama said. “You can’t imagine how scared I was that day I stepped off the train.”
“I can remember that day too,” I said. “Not long after, the five of us started plotting how to make you our mother.”
Mama dabbed at her eyes with her lace handkerchief. “You children and your father have made me a very happy woman. Even though I would never have imagined seven children.”
“You’ve never made any of us feel that we needed to be anyone but ourselves,” I said. “We’ve all felt loved as if you’d given birth to us.”
Her gentle brown eyes glistened as she reached for my hand. “You’ve been the best big sister any of the girls or boys could ask for. I hope this big, messy family hasn’t made you wish for no children at all.”
I glanced out the window. Addie and Delphia were doing cartwheels between the tables, not exactly helping but at least occupying themselves. Cymbeline had a pile of cut roses on one table and was meticulously trimming their leaves and putting them into vases. My brothers and Phillip were in the process of erecting a dance floor out of boards. Harley and Viktor were loading the church piano from the back of a wagon—Papa’s solution to my request for an outdoor reception. Later, Fiona and Li would play for us.
I turned back to Mama. “I’d like to be the heart of a family like you are to us. What could be a better use of my life?”
“When you’re someone’s mother it goes far beyond the word usefulness. There’s really no way to describe the immensity of a mother’s love or of what she’ll do for her child. Your heart becomes entangled with their joys and sorrows. You question yourself each and every day if what you’re doing is the right thing. You send boys off to fight a war and pray on your knees every night that they’ll return to you in one piece or at all. You stay up all night with a sick child, wiping their brow when they’re delirious with fever. You watch as your beautiful adult daughter gives her love to the wrong man. All the time, you worry. Will they survive? Will they be happy? And then some days, like this one, your heart is overjoyed to see that same beautiful daughter about to marry the man meant for her. For a day, at least, you’re at peace. Until the next when you wake worried about one of the others. But it’s all worth it. Every minute. Because no one ever loves you like your mother, and to have the privilege of loving another human more than yourself is the greatest gift God gives. It’s the closest thing to what he feels for us, you know?” She paused, taking in a deep breath. “I guess that’s what I wanted to say—why I was crying this morning. I’m proud of the woman you’ve become. More than I could ever say.”
By now I was crying too. She took me into her arms, and I leaned into her embrace as if I were still the child I’d been when she first came to us. As I had then, I marveled at how such a small woman could have so much strength. “Thank you for giving me the chance to be a child.”
Mama withdrew from me and reached into the pocket of her robe. She placed a small rectangular box in my hand. “I have a gift from Papa and me. He wanted me to give it to you before the ceremony for your ‘something new.’”
I took the box from her and lifted the lid to see a string of gleaming pearls. “They’re beautiful.”
“Every girl these days wants a string of pearls, isn’t that right?” Mama asked with an anxious lilt to her voice. “Do you like them?”
“I love them. I’ll wear them proudly today.”
“All right then, enough of this.” Mama stood, smoothing her robe with her hands. “Merry’s asked if she might help you dress today. For old times’ sake.”
“How sweet. Tell her I’ll be waiting.”
She gestured toward my gown, which hung on a hook on the door. “The next time I see you, you’ll be in your dress. Now eat some breakfast. We can’t have you fainting in the middle of the ceremony.”
The ceremony seemed over before it had begun. Papa insisted on driving us home in his motorcar, followed by the guests in their own cars. Everyone beeped and cheered as we paraded down the main street of town. Onlookers stopped and waved and clapped. Embarrassed by the attention but also touched, I waved back to them.
My groom beamed down at me. “What a town we have here.”
From the front seat, Mama nodded. “Isn’t it wonderful? The whole town cheering you on as you start your new life together.”
We drove down the dirt road until we reached the entrance to our property. I let my gaze linger on what would be my first home as a married woman. My brothers, Phillip, and the Olofsson brothers had spent every free moment since the snow melted to build it for us. White with black shutters and surrounded by a field of wildflowers, the house seemed as if it had always been there. We’d chosen the spot of our first kiss on which to build the house in which we would raise our family.
“I can’t wait,” I whispered to Phillip.
He kissed my gloved hand. “For what, darling?”
“Everything. Every moment of the rest of our lives together.”
“Ah, then, I agree.”
Our entire family and our friends cheered as we entered through the back gate of Papa’s garden. My sisters were at the fr
ont of the crowd and rushed toward us to bestow hugs and kisses, except for Addie, who hung back, watching me with her big eyes. I knelt, careful not to let the bottom of my dress touch the grass.
“What is it, little love?” I asked.
She wrapped her arms around my neck and whispered in my ear. “Besides Mama and Papa, I love you the best. Will you forget me now that you’re married?”
“Never,” I whispered back. “You can come see me whenever you wish.”
Her small body shivered as she clung to me. “Thanks, Jo.”
“I love you very much. Don’t forget that.”
“I won’t.” She gave me one last squeeze and then scampered over to stand with the rest of my sisters.
Phillip and I clasped hands as, one by one, people came to congratulate us. Last in line was Viktor. His shoulder had completely recovered since that winter night when he’d proven his true valor. No one would ever have known by looking at the strapping young man that just months before he’d bled all over my dress.
“Viktor,” I said as I held out both hands. “You’re looking well.” He wore an impeccable summer suit made by his skilled father. His tie matched his light green eyes.
“Thank you, Josephine. I’m hopeful my presence doesn’t remind you of a dark day.”
“Never. You’re a reminder of the finest parts of us.”
Phillip held out his hand, and the men shook. “I’ll never be able to repay you for saving my Josephine.”
“No payment necessary. It was my honor.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I caught Cymbeline watching. Since the night she’d kissed Viktor, Flynn had teased her unmercifully. The more Flynn asked her when she would be marrying the fine young man, the angrier she became, insisting it had only been a moment of relief over my well-being. I thought otherwise, but knowing my obstinate sister as I did, I kept it to myself. The more we insisted she liked the boy, the less likely she would be to admit it. For her and Viktor’s sake, I didn’t want to ruin their chance at happiness.
We moved on to the dining portion of the afternoon. Lizzie had made mountains of food: fried chicken, potato salad, strawberries and cream. Our wedding cake was a vanilla cream and decorated with rose petals from the garden.
My father rose to make a toast. I held my breath, willing myself not to cry. Everyone hushed as he held up his glass and began to speak.
“To say that I’m proud of you, Josephine, is somewhat of an understatement.” His voice broke. He took a moment to gather himself. “I had a grand speech in mind, but it appears I’m overwrought. I’ll say simply this. Since the moment you were born, you’ve been a joy and a delight to your old papa. Phillip, take good care of my Jo, and welcome to the family.”
We all raised our glasses. I clinked mine with Phillip and allowed myself a moment to stare deeply into his eyes. The future was there. My past was all around me. I’d thought of myself as daughter, sister, friend, even a librarian. Now I would also be a wife and, God willing, a mother.
More cheering as Cymbeline rose to her feet. “Papa said it was all right if I make a speech.” Her voice shook. “Jo, you’re the best person in the whole world and I’m sorry for all the times I’ve tried your patience. You make me want to be a better girl. Honestly, I didn’t think there was a man good enough for you. Phillip, I’ve come to my final conclusion and it’s that you’re fine enough for my Jo, and I’m glad you’re my new brother. You won’t ever have to feel lonesome again because now we’re your family. That’s all.”
“Thank you, Cymbeline.” Phillip wrapped his arm around my shoulders. “I’m happy to have found my family at last.”
“You’ve won over Cymbeline,” I whispered to my groom. “Well done.”
“She’s all soft under that sass,” Phillip whispered back.
After we ate, Fiona and Li began to play so that the dancing could begin. Instead of the classical style Li had learned at school, they played the music of the frontier. Lively, foot-stamping music that hinted at the wild country we held so dear. Soon, our makeshift dance floor filled. A breeze brought the scent of grass and lilacs.
As the gloaming softened the light in our little part of the world, the music ceased. “I don’t have a speech to say but I have a song,” Fiona said. “This is for Jo and Phillip and for all the best wishes for a happy life together.”
Couples drew close as Fiona sang the first notes of “Ave Maria.”
Phillip held me close as we danced. My chest ached at the sheer beauty of my sister’s voice and the poignant swells of sounds from Li’s violin. Mama and Papa danced in the middle of the floor. Addie and Delphia sat on the grass holding hands and watching Fiona with adoring eyes. Cymbeline, to my shock, had accepted a dance from Viktor. Given her smile, she seemed to have forgotten her pledge of eternal hatred at least for tonight. Flynn and Shannon took up one corner of the dance floor, seeming to be lost in each other’s gaze. Their eyes closed, listening intently to the music, Pastor Lind and Pamela sat together at a table holding hands. Theo and Poppy were dancing compatibly together like two friends who had known each other all their lives, as were Louisa and Isak. The Johnson sisters were dancing with their handsome husbands. Harley and Merry had their little boys between them as they danced. Even Lizzie had stopped fussing with the food long enough to fall into her Jasper’s arms. The others from those long-ago school days huddled together in groups on the grass, enjoying cake and punch, while the youngest of the children chased one another on the lawn.
My husband’s sure, strong arms wrapped around me. I nestled against him, giving him my full weight and resting my cheek upon his chest. His heart thumped against my cheek as if it were part of the music.
Fiona held the last note, and for a moment, time stood still. Yes, just a fleeting moment in time, but one that held all the beauty of the world. Like a droplet of dew on a summer rose or the scent of the first rain or the last perfect vibrato note of “Ave Maria,” it was too precious to last forever. Yet it was etched into our hearts just the same. What was to come, we couldn’t know. For now, however, we were all together, safe and joyful, basking in the glow of the setting sun and the love that flowed among us.
More Emerson Pass!
The first of the Emerson Pass Contemporaries , The Sugar Queen, featuring the descendants of the Barnes family is available at your favorite retailer. Grab it here: The Sugar Queen.
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The Sugar Queen
The first in the contemporary Emerson Pass Series , The Sugar Queen features the descendants from the Barnes family.
Get ready for some sweet second chances! Download a copy here: The Sugar Queen.
True love requires commitment, and many times unending sacrifice. . .
At the tender age of eighteen, Brandi Vargas watched the love of her life drive out of Emerson Pass, presumably for good. Though she and Trapper Barnes dreamed of attending college and starting their lives together, she was sure she would only get in the way of Trapper's future as a hockey star. Breaking his heart, and her own in the process, was the only way to ensure he pursued his destiny. Her fate was the small town life she'd always known, her own bakery, and an endless stream of regret.
After a decade of playing hockey, a single injury ended Trapper Barnes' career. And while the past he left behind always haunted him, he still returns to Emerson Pass to start the next chapter of his life in the place his ancestors built more than a century before. But when he discovers that the woman who owns the local bakery is the girl who once shattered his dreams, the painful secret she's been harboring all these years threatens to turn Trapper's idyllic small town future into a disaster.
Will it take a forest fire threatening the mountain village to force Trapper and Brandi to confront their history? And in the wake of such a significant loss, will the process of rebuilding their beloved town help them find each other, and true happiness, once again?
Fast
forward to the present day and enjoy this contemporary second chance romance set in the small town of Emerson Pass, featuring the descendants of the characters you loved from USA Today bestselling author Tess Thompson's The School Mistress.
Acknowledgments
Thank you to Elizabeth Mackey for the outstanding cover.
Thank you to my assistant, MaryAnn Schaefer for her tireless effort to make me look good.
Also, as always, thank you to Best Husband Ever, Cliff, for making all my dreams come true.
Thanks to my girls for putting up with their unconventional and absentminded mother. I couldn’t do this without your independence and encouragement.
Both my maternal and paternal grandmother and grandfather, respectively, were born in the year 1919. I hope they’re smiling down on me from heaven and forgive me for whatever errors I’ve made in accounting the period.
Also by Tess Thompson
CLIFFSIDE BAY
Traded: Brody and Kara
Deleted: Jackson and Maggie
Jaded: Zane and Honor
Marred: Kyle and Violet
Tainted: Lance and Mary
Cliffside Bay Christmas, The Season of Cats and Babies (Cliffside Bay Novella to be read after Tainted)
Missed: Rafael and Lisa
Cliffside Bay Christmas Wedding (Cliffside Bay Novella to be read after Missed)
Healed: Stone and Pepper
Chateau Wedding (Cliffside Bay Novella to be read after Healed)
Scarred: Trey and Autumn
Jilted: Nico and Sophie
The Spinster (Emerson Pass Historicals Book 2) Page 24