by Lizzy Ford
When she awoke, it was to find the face of the boy, Toby, hovering over hers. Deidre blinked. He leaned back, and a recessed, marble ceiling came into view. Its edges were gilded with gold marking a lazy geometric design across the marble. Two brightly lit, massive bronze chandeliers dangled at even distances across the ceiling. She was on a huge, plush sleigh bed with dark wood and pastel coverings. Pushing herself up, Deidre was amazed at the size and furnishings of the room. It was like something out of a television show about castles.
“Where am I?” she asked.
“Didn’t you come here through the portals?” Toby asked.
“Yes, but I don’t understand how to use them yet.”
“French Alps. This is where the Immortals live,” Toby replied. “Gabe’s not dead-dead, is he?”
Deidre looked at him, surprised he knew Gabriel.
“Not that I know of,” she said with a shiver. “I have a headache.”
“It’s my fault. You hit the ground before I could catch you,” he said.
“No, I’d have one anyway,” she said, not wanting to admit she didn’t think the skinny youth could’ve caught her anyway.
“Why?”
“Long story.”
He reached out to her and placed a hand on her forehead. She was surprised to feel a strange zap of energy, different than Gabriel’s warmth but not unpleasant.
“You have a tumor,” Toby said, dismayed. “A big one. Does it hurt?”
“Um, I don’t know if it hurts, but I get headaches,” she replied.
“I can’t believe you don’t remember anything,” Katie said from the doorway. She pushed the door closed with her hip, a silver tray of cookies and snacks in her hands. “Hannah said you came here looking for Rhyn?”
“Yes. He’s the only one who seems like he’d tell me what’s going on. No one else will,” Deidre said with some frustration. Her eye went to the snacks. Katie set the tray on the bed then sat at the foot, leaning against the bed frame.
“So you’re not Death anymore?”
Deidre stared at her.
“You don’t remember that either. Wow.”
“We’ll tell you!” Toby offered. He climbed over the tray onto the bed with them and sat cross-legged.
“I don’t know the whole story, but I can give you the basics,” Katie said. “Do you really want to know?”
“I think so,” Deidre said uncertainly. “Does the tattoo mean you’re Rhyn’s mate?”
“Exactly.” Katie grunted. “Could’ve been a little more discreet, but it fits Rhyn’s personality.”
“Is it something you can undo?” Deidre hedged.
“God no. And I tried.”
“Immortal Code,” Toby said. “Even the angels can’t unmate someone.”
“Angels,” Deidre murmured.
“Wait, does this mean you have a tattoo, too?” Katie straightened, gaze sharpening.
Deidre nodded.
“Where?”
“On my back.”
“Show me!”
Deidre glanced at Toby. He sighed and flopped onto his stomach, facing away from them. Deidre twisted and pulled up her shirt for Katie to see.
Rhyn’s mate squealed loud enough for Deidre to jump. She dropped her shirt, startled when Katie flung her arms around her in another tight hug.
“Who! Mama!” Toby demanded.
“I knew it!” Katie all but shouted. She released Deidre and returned to her seat, face glowing. “I called it.”
“Mama!”
“Gabe, Toby.”
Toby’s face lit up. “I bet he was pissed.”
“Okay, I need to know what’s going on,” Deidre said, the buzzing back in her ears.
“Short version. I know this will be rough,” Katie started, sympathy on her features. “Once upon a time, you were an Immortal –“
“-deity,” Toby corrected.
“What’s the difference?” Katie asked.
“Deities are way older and more powerful.”
“Whatever. So you were a deity,” Katie continued. “Guess which one?”
“Death,” Toby supplied.
“Not you, Toby. Deidre, you were Death for let’s say, a zillion years. Somewhere along the line, you found Gabe and forced him to work for you as your number one assassin. He fell totally in love with you. You following so far?”
Deidre’s mouth was dry and her hands shaking, but she nodded.
“You fell totally in love with him, too, but you were uh … well, I guess deities are sort of…”
“You were a mega-bitch,” Toby said. “You took his heart and crushed it, like every day for thousands of years.”
Deidre gasped.
“That’s a little harsh,” Katie murmured.
“Then you dumped him,” Toby continued. “So then, one day you told him to kill Katie and her baby, because you were mad at Rhyn and the demons were coming.”
Deidre’s eyes went to Katie in horror. Rhyn’s mate tried to smile, but her gaze was haunted.
“Gabe wouldn’t do it. He went rogue and helped Katie evade you in the underworld. I was there, too! And Rhyn and Kris and Kiki,” Toby said cheerfully. “You made Kris and Gabe trade their souls for Katie and baby’s then you quit.”
“That’s um, the abbreviated version. You also broke immortal laws to let me go instead of killing me. You didn’t quit because you wanted to, but because you had to after breaking those laws to spare me and Hazel,” Katie added, patting her stomach. “You helped me escape demons through that awful underworld forest. That’s how I found out you really did love Gabe, even though you um …”
“Crushed his will to live,” Toby finished.
“Anyway, you must’ve been reborn as a human,” Katie said.
Deidre struggled to absorb the wild story, unable to comprehend most of it. That she was a deity, Death, who lived for thousands of years … None of that made sense. Nothing did, except that she hurt Gabriel. He’d recognized her the morning after their one night stand, flipped out and wanted to kill her since then. In that light, his reaction to her appeared less like that of a moody homicidal maniac and more like one of a jilted lover.
“I did those things to Gabe?” she asked, upset.
“Yeah, you were really psycho to him,” Katie replied.
“It’s because he was originally human,” Toby said. “You hated that part of him, so you tortured him for like –“
“Toby!” Katie snapped. “Overkill.”
Deidre sat frozen, aware of their concerned gazes. Suddenly, she wished she hadn’t asked.
“That’s why everyone reacts funny to me,” she managed at last. “They think I’m coming to k…kill them?”
“Yeah. You should be able to see the Immortal markings, too. They’re reddish tattoos. I usually see them when I first meet an Immortal,” Katie said.
“I have seen those. I thought they were hallucinations,” Deidre murmured.
“Did Gabe flip out when he saw the mating tattoo?” Toby asked, giggling.
“Yeah, he did,” Deidre said. “But he told me he’d give me a choice about whether or not I wanted to be with him, even though he’s obligated by those laws.”
“Awwww,” Katie’s gaze warmed. “Gabe is the reason I’m alive. He’s the best man I know, aside from Rhyn. He risked everything to save me.”
“Really?”
“He and Rhyn are like brothers. They only had each other for a long time. Then I came along what? Six months ago?” Katie glanced at Toby.
“Seven.”
“I guess. I am six months pregnant.”
“Immortal mood beast,” Toby muttered under his breath.
“Oh, and there’s no walking away from an Immortal that’s claimed you,” Katie added. “I don’t give a shit what they tell you. Especially Gabe. He means well, but there’s no way he could let you go. He’s loved you for like, a million years.”
“He doesn’t act like it,” Deidre said.
“He’s hated
you that long, too,” Toby said.
“Rhyn and I tried everything to get away from each other, and Gabe put the smackdown on it all. He’ll come around soon, when he realizes you’re not the deity who fucked him over,” Katie said. “That explains why Rhyn’s been checking up on him so often lately.”
“Am I different as a … as a human?” Deidre asked.
“Very. I can tell but it takes men longer to figure out that stuff.”
“I can’t believe this is happening.” Deidre rubbed her face.
“Tell me about it.” Katie was glaring at Toby, who grinned.
Their nonverbal exchange made Deidre smile. She liked Katie and Toby. The history they related to her, however, left her wanting to cry. No wonder Gabe hated her one day and tried hard to tolerate her the next. He was stuck with her by their laws, a daily reminder of someone who used to hurt him. If he was half the man they believed him to be – and if she was half as bad as these two related to her – he’d resent her for the rest of their lives. Being Immortal, that meant pretty much forever.
She didn’t want to live with someone like Logan, who resented her for something she couldn’t control. She wasn’t going to be some sort of obligation to someone who stuck around because he had to. It left her depressed, when she wanted to be happy the last few months of her life.
The strange Immortal world was so unwelcoming. Her brain tumor never seemed like a blessing before now.
“Are you okay?” Katie asked.
“Not really,” Deidre admitted.
“We can give you an angel,” Toby relented.
“What is this angel stuff?” she demanded.
“Toby is a guardian angel. They’re assigned to human mothers,” Katie explained. “He’s the one who dragged me into this whole mess with Immortals.”
“You mean those little kids are angels? Real live angels?”
“Yes!” Toby beamed. “They’re too young to take care of humans yet, so humans have to take care of them. Death … you used to take care of the really old angels, and Gabe visited the little ones all the time. Rhyn is supposed to find the basement angels new homes.”
Angels almost made sense. More sense than the idea she was a deity for thousands of years.
“I don’t think I can handle a basement angel,” she said. “You’d have to find them a new home in a few months anyway, when I die.”
“Die?” Katie echoed.
“She has a brain tumor,” Toby said. “It’s huge.”
“You can’t die. Gabe won’t let you.”
“The alternative is that it keeps growing and I turn into a vegetable,” Deidre said. “So, yeah, that’s not happening.”
“Does he know?”
“Yes.”
Katie waited for more. Deidre didn’t know what else to say. Toby looked thoughtful.
“I guess at least he’ll be able to get a new mate in a few months. Then he won’t be stuck with someone he hates,” Deidre added, comforted by the thought.
“Um, no,” Katie said. “Immortals only get one their whole lives, even if they live for a million years.”
“Well, he’ll be free to date,” Deidre said.
“Not an easy thing to do when you’re Death.”
Deidre sighed. Why did she feel guilty about this whole mess, when she hadn’t done anything to get herself into it? Not directly, anyway. Or maybe it was all her fault, created by bad karma she built up when she was some crazy deity in a past life she had no memory of.
Okay, so maybe this wasn’t so weird. She was working off bad karma.
“Toby, what do the angel memories say about it?” Katie asked.
“I’m thinking.”
Deidre glanced at the angel curiously.
“When they get old enough, they can tap into this encyclopedia of shared memories,” Katie explained. “It’s kinda cool, except that Toby isn’t old enough to research everything yet.”
“I can’t find anything,” Toby said, upset. “But I think that Gabe can fix it. I mean, he has to be able to.”
“Unless he can do something my surgeon can’t …” Deidre shrugged. “Oh! Speaking of him, I’m supposed to be at his house.”
“You should stay here,” Katie said. “It’s not safe in the human world for you now. Rhyn said there are demons after you. They’re nasty bastards. This is the headquarters for the Immortals. Nothing can get you here, which is why I’m not allowed to leave.” She rolled her eyes.
“I think I might’ve put him in danger, though. I already got one friend killed by a demon,” Deidre said, guilt assailing her at the memory of Logan.
“The best thing you can do is just disappear,” Katie advised. “That way, no one around you is in danger.”
“I guess. I hope it’s not too late, though,” Deidre said. “I left all my stuff at his house.”
“Go grab it and come right back,” Katie suggested. “Rhyn knows you’re here, which means he’ll be checking up on you. You don’t want him or Gabe to hunt you down. Trust me.”
Deidre suspected the result of provoking either man was death to someone. She shivered. She hadn’t intended not to return to Wynn’s, but the idea of keeping him safe, too, made her feel a little less guilty about sneaking out on him.
She didn’t want to die. She’d always hoped Wynn found some miracle cure, even while checking things off her bucket list. There wasn’t anything else Wynn could do, though. Like Gabriel, he was better off without her in his life. It seemed like death was the only way to make up for whatever past-Deidre did.
“Do you need a portal?” Katie asked.
“No, I figured them out somehow.”
“You’re able to draw off Gabe’s magic, like I can Rhyn’s. It’s how I accidentally learned to use the portals, too.”
“Okay. I’m gonna give it a go. Sometimes, it doesn’t respond,” Deidre said. She swung her legs off the bed and closed her eyes. Focusing hard on Wynn, she willed the portal to appear.
“Yes!” Toby exclaimed.
Opening her eyes, she saw the dreaded shadow world waiting for her.
“Don’t be gone long,” Katie reminded her.
Deidre wanted to flee and never return, but she nodded at the young woman who almost seemed normal. Deidre hurried into the shadow world. She was halfway to the portal when the low, unfamiliar voice reached her.
“A moment of your time.”
She froze in the middle of the in-between place.
“Deidre, I believe?”
She turned to face the figure. Tall and lean, with eyes as black as Gabriel’s, the man who stood too close for her comfort wore normal enough clothing, aside from the knives strapped to his thighs. He appeared to be any other Immortal.
“I’m Darkyn, and I work for another of the deities,” he said. He neared, assessing her with a level of interest that made her uncomfortable.
“How many deities are there?”
“Several dozen.”
“Is this where you live?” she asked.
“No, love,” he said with a smile. “I happened to be passing through when I saw you. You came back as beautiful as you left.”
“Oh, god!” she groaned. “Not another jilted lover out for revenge!”
He chuckled, a sound that somehow managed to be threatening. He paused between her and the portal beckoning her while keeping his distance from both.
“You’re not, are you?” she asked at his silence.
“My relationship with you was …complicated. In any case, I went to visit you at your apartment recently to ask you something.”
She waited.
“Did past-Deidre leave you anything?”
“Leave me anything?” she echoed. “I never knew she existed until a day ago, and I’m only now learning how awful of a person she was. I certainly never met her.”
“She may have provided it to you in such a way that you thought it yours. A piece of jewelry. A trinket or bauble you inherited from a family member.”
“No strange gifts?”
“No, nothing.” She shivered at his penetrating gaze. Gabriel’s made her hot from the inside out; this one left her cold. “What is it?”
“Nothing of interest to anyone but me.”
“You can search my apartment, if you don’t believe me.”
“I believe you. I know when one lies.”
“Then you know I can’t help you.”
“I sense physical weakness. Are you ill?” His head was titled to the side, as if he was trying to determine what was wrong with her.
“I am,” she confirmed. “I have a terminal brain tumor.”
“Death will not let you die-dead.”
“He can’t help me. No one can.”
“No one?” A smile crossed Darkyn’s face. “I can.”
“Not that I doubt you, but um, I really don’t think so,” she said. His predatory smile made her pulse fly. “It would kill me to take this thing out of my head, and Gabriel and all his … uh minions … aren’t allowed to kill me. So I’ll just die slowly over the next few months.” She rubbed her face, overwhelmed by her day. “Wynn couldn’t help me. Gabriel can’t. You can’t either.”
“Wynn. I know this name.”
“He’s my surgeon and the best there is.” She looked him over, silently dismissing any notion that this creature spent much time in the mortal world. He appeared normal, unassuming, but there was something otherworldly in his eyes that warned her he wasn’t normal. The chances he knew her surgeon were negligible.
Darkyn’s gaze turned considering. “My magic is of a different kind. May I touch you?”
She swallowed a refusal at the expression on his face. Deidre retreated, but he took one arm before planting a hand on her head. He tilted his again. Cold energy shot through her.
Shuddering, she backpedaled. Darkyn released her.
“I can fix it,” he said. “But you are uncertain as to whether or not this is what you wish. I can kill you, too, if this is what you decide.”
She listened. The longer they talked, the deeper the clammy shadows sank into her.
“You’re correct. Gabriel will not be able to take you, and he won’t be able to cure you. The decision is yours.”
“My goal has been to enjoy what I have left then …die.”
“A worthy goal. Can you do it before Gabriel falls in love with you? Before you hurt him in this life as you did in your previous life?” Darkyn asked. “Before you start to deteriorate and your body gives out on you?”
“I don’t know,” she whispered, wondering how he knew exactly what she feared. “I ask myself that a few times a day.”
“When you know the answer, come here. You only need to say my name to summon me. Whether you choose to live or to die, you will need my help.”
“That’s it? You’ll just help me?”
“That’s it.”
“Feels like there should be a catch.”
“Find me, love, when you’re ready. We’ll discuss terms then.”
“It won’t be today,” she said, starting to freak out again at the cold shadows and the scary man.
“By all means, you are free to go.” He stepped out of her path.
Deidre moved past him timidly, expecting him to attack her. He didn’t, and she paused in front of her destination to glance back. She sensed danger and promise from the freaky guy loitering in the shadow world. His offer was tempting. Of everyone she’d dealt with, he was the first to give her a real choice: Life or death. Slow deterioration or an eternity. The idea she had a choice was strangely empowering. Accustomed to the thought of dying, she viewed the option of living as …weird.
There had to be more to what this creature offered. What kind of stranger – Immortal or otherwise – gave a blank check to someone who probably screwed him over in a past life?
“It can’t be that easy,” she voiced.
“Life or death? The simplest choice there is,” he assured her.
“Was your relationship with past-Deidre good or bad?”
“There were no good relationships with past-Deidre. Only quid quo pro. What form that took was almost always of her determination. I respected that,” Darkyn replied.
Uncertain how to interpret the response, Deidre shook her head and faced the portal. Life was possible. He’d given her something to think about, but her instincts were screaming at her not to have anything to do with this creature.
She emerged in the gardens. It was later than she thought, mid-afternoon by the heat. She was relieved to see Wynn wasn’t on the patio. Anxiety filled her once more at the idea he might’ve been replaced by a demon by now. She wasn’t going to lose her only friend, not after all he’d done for her.
Entering the house, she heard nothing indicating he was home. She felt awful leaving him out of the blue, without saying farewell or thanking him.
He’ll be safe this way, she told herself again, hoping that was the case.
Deidre ascended the stairs to her room and gathered her things. She shrugged the backpack on and grabbed the bag at her feet. She couldn’t take everything this trip, but she had the most important stuff.
A light knock at the door made her stop in place.
“Deidre? I thought you’d left.” His voice came from the hallway.
“No, just …” running out on you in the middle of the day after all you’ve done to help me. “You can come in, Wynn.”
The door opened, and she stared at him.
“What happened?” she exclaimed. His eye was black, one of his cheekbones yellow.
“Nothing to be concerned about,” he said with a casual shrug. “Are you leaving?”
“I have to, so I don’t put you in danger,” she said. She placed her bag on the ground and approached him. She touched his cheek gingerly. “You know you should have ice on this!” she chided. “You’re a doctor for god’s sake!”
He took her hand. “It looks worse than it is. Really, Deidre, it’s nothing.”
“Wynn, you have to tell me what happened!” She searched his features.
“It’s rather embarrassing,” he said.
“Omigod! You’ve seen me naked and drooling and drugged up. You’ve cut me open and – “
“I cede your point,” he said, smiling. “First, can you tell me if your Gabriel is about seven feet tall, with eyes darker than night and no sense of humor?”
Her jaw dropped.
“I’ll take that as a yes. In that case, I understand completely.”
“Gabriel hit you?” she demanded.
“It might’ve been another seven-foot stranger concerned about your welfare.”
Deidre didn’t see Gabriel doing something like this. He was the kind of man who struck once - and it’d kill his target. But how else did Wynn know what Gabe looked like? There was no mistaking the description.
“I can’t believe he did this.”
“Full disclosure, I think he was aiming for the … thing beside me. It looked human,” Wynn appeared perplexed. “Jared? Sounded human but …”
Deidre shivered. She recalled Jared too well. He was a demon that ate people. Maybe Gabe hurt Wynn while trying to save her friend from the demons. It made more sense than Wynn being hit by Gabe.
“My dear, your eyes.” Wynn took her chin and tilted her face up. “It’s not a good sign.”
“What’s wrong?” she asked quickly.
“Your pupils are different sizes. Do you have a headache by chance?”
“Yes.”
He frowned.
“Wynn, what’s wrong?” she asked again. “Do you think … am I starting to you know, go downhill?”
He hesitated. “Possibly. It might be an early indication.”
She swallowed hard. Wynn being cornered by a demon
and her body starting to give out on her. It was an awful combination.
“Do you trust me, Wynn?” she asked.
“Of course.”
“Will you go somewhere with me?”
His gaze went to her bag. “Weekend trip or longer?”
“Longer, probably.”
“Can I pack?”
“Sure. I want to take you somewhere safe.”
He studied her for a moment then nodded. Wynn retreated to his bedroom. Deidre grabbed her bag and waited for him in the hallway. He joined her, a gym bag at his side. Handing her the keys, he smiled.
“Um, don’t need these,” she said. She tucked them into her bag. “Close your eyes and just work with me here.”
Wynn raised an eyebrow but obeyed. Deidre calmed, drew herself up and summoned a portal. It came quickly this time. She reached out to take Wynn’s hand.
“Trust me,” she said again.
“I do, Deidre.”
“Okay, come on.” Deidre led him into the shadow world at a quick pace. She glanced back at him to make sure his eyes were still closed. She’d been freaked out by the in-between place and wanted him to wait until they reached their destination before he had a chance to panic.
Hurrying through the brightest doorway, she recognized the massive bedchamber where she’d left Katie and Toby. They sat on the bed, playing a card game. Katie looked up as Deidre appeared. Her smile faded as she saw Wynn.
“I know. I should’ve asked.” Deidre cringed. “But he’s in danger. This is my friend, Wynn. Wynn, Katie and Toby.”
Toby’s mouth was agape, Katie’s face blanching. Uncertain what to think of their reactions, Deidre turned to Wynn. She released his hand.
“You can open your eyes now,” she said. “Don’t freak out.”
Wynn opened his eyes. No emotion crossed his features as his gaze settled on the two people on the bed.
“You okay?” Deidre asked at his silence.
“Deidre,” Katie managed. “What the hell did you do?”
“I was worried about him getting caught up by demons,” Deidre replied. “If I’m safe here, isn’t he?”
Toby was too shocked to move, while Katie scrambled to her feet. Both were alarmed. A familiar sense returned, the one that made Deidre think Wynn wasn’t a normal human.
His attention turned to her. “My sweet Deidre. I expected you to take me to a Sanctuary, not here.”
Chapter Ten